Why do I hide?1

“My Lord Supreme, why is it that at times I want to hide from You? Why is it that at times I desperately try to hide my thoughts from You? Why? Why? Is it because I am afraid of You? Or is it because I love You and I feel that it will hurt You if You know my uncomely and impure thoughts on the physical plane? On the inner plane I know I will never be able to deceive You. On the outer plane, because of my clever mind, I feel that in a human way I shall be able to deceive You, because perhaps You are not aware of all the intricacies of human life. Anyway, do tell me why I want to hide myself from You and hide my thoughts from You.”

“My child, to some extent it is true that you are afraid of Me. That is why you hide from Me. Again, to some extent it is true that you are afraid that it will hurt Me — that is to say, the human consciousness in Me — if I see that you are suffering from unhealthy thoughts. Being identified with you, I shall undoubtedly suffer. But the main reason is something else. You unconsciously, if not consciously, cherish the life of ignorance. You want to hide from Me because you know that although you are now consciously for the life of wisdom, still ignorance-life is dominating you and lording it over you. You cherish these thoughts because you feel that these are things that you can have, whereas divine thoughts, illumining thoughts, Heavenly thoughts, perhaps are all mental hallucinations. This is what you think: therefore, you unconsciously, if not consciously, cherish and treasure your undivine thoughts.

“But, My child, I wish to tell you that you must not be afraid of Me or feel that you will hurt Me. The divine in Me will never punish you. The divine in Me will never be hurt by your so-called shortcomings. You can get rid of these ignorant feelings, ideas and notions on the physical plane very easily. If you want to get rid of these forces, just think of Me as a wastepaper basket or a dustbin. On the physical plane, these are the two proper places for you to get rid of anything that is unwanted. If you want to get rid of these unhealthy thoughts on the spiritual plane, then soulfully and devotedly throw them into Me. Throw anything that you are suffering from into me. I am for your illumination, for your perfection, and I shall never remain satisfied unless I see your radical transformation.

“You have to feel that your shortcomings are My shortcomings. You are not afraid of yourself; you don’t try to hide from yourself, because you know that it is you. Similarly, if you can think of Me as your enlarged, expanded reality, if you can feel that your arms are lengthened, that everything you have is expanded, and that in this expanded and enlarged consciousness you and I are one, then you will see that the things that have to be transformed in you are also shortcomings in Me.

“So do not be afraid of Me or fear that you will hurt Me in a human way. Think of Me as a wastepaper basket. Feel that I am that very thing: your universal Life, your transcendental Life. Why should you be afraid of Me? We are one, eternally one, inseparably one. The lesser in us is being illumined with the light of the greater, the more illumined, more fulfilling, more perfect and more divine.”


  1. 16 July 1977, 8:30 a.m. — Jamaica High School Track, Jamaica, New York

Sri Chinmoy, Everest-Aspiration, part 2.First published by Agni Press in 1977.

This is the 353rd book that Sri Chinmoy has written since he came to the West, in 1964.

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by Sri Chinmoy
From the book Everest-Aspiration, part 2, made available to share under a Creative Commons license

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