My Father's wish

These two hundred books are not mine. They belong to the Supreme. They belong to each individual seeker present here and also to each seeker on earth. To say that this is my creation is to commit an Himalayan blunder. The seeker in me says that the Supreme has created Himself in and through these pages according to the power of the seeker’s capacity of receptivity.

The Supreme has granted us the message of self-transcendence. If He keeps me on earth for a considerable number of years, then the seeker in me will undoubtedly transcend today’s achievement: not in the sense of competition, but in the sense of progress. My progress is your progress; and our progress is the progress of the Supreme Himself.

When I was twelve years old, I started writing poems in Bengali. I had a strong desire to write two hundred books in Bengali. You will be happy to learn that I did write two hundred books in Bengali, if not more.

In 1964, when I left for America, I was again consumed with the same desire. The Supreme in us has shown His infinite Compassion to fulfil what I shall call my snow-white desire. In ten fleeting years this desire of mine has been fulfilled. Again, who am I? I am a football played by the Supreme constantly. This football has no individuality of its own. You children have more individuality than I have. My individuality and personality I sold to the Supreme many centuries ago. He was kind enough to buy it from me with His infinite Compassion.

In connection with my books, I wish to say something about my human father. My Divine Father is the Supreme. My human father left earth many years ago, when I was only eleven years old. He is still in Heaven. Now, as the son has a desire, so also the father cherishes a kind of desire. Unbelievable though it may sound, it is his express wish that in this incarnation of mine I should write one thousand books. Three times he has expressed to me this wish. So you see, the son’s greed is nothing in comparison to his father’s greed. The Divine Father, the Absolute Father, has fulfilled the son’s desire. He has quenched my thirst. Now the Supreme alone knows whether He is going to quench the thirst of the seeker’s earthly father.

One day in October 1973, my father came to speak to me. When my father comes, he appears as I remember him, although the soul can take any form. When he came to me on this occasion, he said that he would not be satisfied with my writing only two hundred books. He wants me to write one thousand books! I said, “Am I doomed to stay on earth such a long time?” He laughed and laughed. He knows quite well how many years I will stay on earth.

Out of one thousand books, he said, perhaps only thirty books need not be spiritual in the strict sense of the term. Can you imagine, only thirty books he excluded! My joke books and a few others fall under that category.

One thousand books: a father’s desire, a father’s dream! He said I should write one thousand books just because I have the capacity to do it. He did not tell me how many years it would take, but intuitively he gave me the message. He is one hundred percent sure that I will be able to do it.

From:Sri Chinmoy,My Father’s wish, Agni Press, 1994
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