Run and become, become and run, part 9

Running and losing weight

Quite recently I weighed myself, and I literally cried! Then I ran and walked eleven miles, without taking any food. In a day or two I took off nine pounds. Tomorrow also I will take off another one or two pounds. If I can do it, others can also do it.

There are many, many things which I do to encourage and inspire others. I run and keep my weight down because what I preach, I also want to practise in my life. Many Masters don’t do this kind of thing — losing weight and taking exercise. Their God-realisation will not disappear if they become exorbitantly fat.

  1. RB 443. 4 December 1981

The watch stopper

I saw Snigdha running this morning. She was on one side of the street and I was on the other side. She stops her watch when she stops running, even when she pauses for a minute at a side street.

  1. RB 444. 20 December 1981

More bad runners

Today in Mexico City we went to watch a three-mile race. There were many good runners and many bad runners. But the bad runners were many, many more in number.

  1. RB 445. 20 December 1981

A soul’s message

This morning while I was running seven and a half miles, Garima’s soul sent me a message. Then two seconds later I saw Garima running. I was running on one side of the street and she was running on the other side.

  1. RB 446. 21 December 1981

A divine twenty-seven miles

I still can’t believe that in Puerto Rico I recently walked and ran a divine twenty-seven miles!

The first five miles I ran and the second five miles I walked and ran. Like this I continued, and finally it became twenty-seven miles.

Even from the first mile I was literally dying. My whole body was swimming in perspiration.

  1. RB 447. 21 December 1981

The show-off

The other day Anupadi was showing off. For a while she was running near me, and then she went off ahead. Her strides have become longer now. Previously, her strides were so short.

  1. RB 448. 29 December 1981

Dog attacks

None of the disciples were attacked by dogs this morning during the race. That was because they were running in a group.

I ran seven miles by myself, and at least four times I was attacked by dogs. Perhaps the reason they attacked me was because I was wearing a red shirt. When they came at me, I stood there very bravely until they stopped barking at me. In one case a dog crossed the street to where I was running, but it didn’t bite me.

Especially when you are running fast, you get alarmed when you suddenly see a dog. If you are running slowly, it is not such a shock. In my case, I was going so slowly — at bullock-cart speed.

  1. RB 449. 31 December 1981

Watching the races

I usually finish my running before our races start so that I can enjoy them. Abadh is always far ahead; he does not die. But second is always Abarita, and he always dies while he runs. Kailash and others struggle, but they don’t actually die. Jason never even struggles. I don’t see him even getting properly tired during a race.

When Kalatit runs, he looks like he has some bitter thing in his mouth. His whole face is miserable.

Gayatri is also miserable, absolutely miserable, when she runs. She does not have the misery of tiredness; she is just miserable.

In every race Nilima gives her life-breath at the end. Today she and Karabi were sprinting so fast at the end. They were chasing Nirjhari. Then, in the last two metres, Nilima gave up.

Whenever Nayana sees me, she smiles. Hashi tries to smile, but Chetana does not even try. She surrenders.

Today Garima was very good. When she saw me, she folded her hands and bowed to me. The other day I made complaints that she did not even seem to recognise me while she was running. So this time when she saw me, she bowed.

  1. RB 450. 31 December 1981


If Khudita can run fast, what is wrong with me? I may be fifty years old, but I am not as “thin” as she is. Again, she carries all her extra weight so powerfully. She has physical strength. She is so strong! Such determination she has to carry her body. I am proud of her.

Each disciple-runner has some peculiarity. When I see “tall man” — Adhiratha — how he is struggling! His strides are quite long, but there is no speed inside them. He looks like he is going so fast, but what actually happens? Why is he behind so many people?

  1. RB 451. 31 December 1981

The best style

I have to be very frank. In long distances Bill Rodgers’ style impresses me most. It is a very good style. He literally flies.

  1. RB 452. 31 December 1981

The run in the dark

This morning I ran seven miles while it was still very dark. When it is dark, you forget about speed. You feel that as long as you continue running, it is enough. The first mile I did in nine minutes and the last was at an eight-thirty pace. Altogether I averaged only a nine-minute pace, so God knows how slowly I ran the other five miles. A nine-minute pace is very bad. Of course, I was not racing. But if it had not been dark, I would have taken off at least fifteen seconds per mile.

  1. RB 453. 4 January 1982

Thanks a lot

The day before we left Mazatlan I was running early in the morning. At one point a small car that was going quite fast came near me and stopped. A little boy five or six years old got out and asked me for directions in Spanish. He said three lines of Spanish, and I could not understand anything. I had been running fast, doing speed work, and I was exhausted. I don’t know Spanish, and I was so tired that I was helpless.

When the boy saw that I didn’t understand him and also that I was too tired to talk, he said very soulfully, “Thanks a lot.” There was no sarcasm involved. Then he ran back and entered into his father’s car.

Another day while I was running in Mazatlan very early in the morning, I saw an American running. This man I had previously seen playing tennis. He was bearded and not very nice looking. He asked me the time, and I said, “Five fifty-six.”

Then he said, “Damn you! Why can’t you say four minutes of six!”

I never use the expression “Thanks a lot,” but I told him, “Thanks a lot,” and continued running.

  1. RB 454. 9 January 1982

Long legs

Recently in Bermuda I went out to run at five o’clock in the morning. I was running right in front of the hotel. Seventy or eighty metres I ran. Then I stopped, and then again I ran. I did this seven times. The weather in Bermuda was like Chicago: very windy! At times you couldn’t even walk, so how was I going to run?

There were about seven or eight taxis in front of the hotel. One taxi driver, an old man, was joking with me. He came very near me and was watching me. Then he said to me, “Champ, you have two long legs. Champ, you have long legs, long legs!” I was wearing shorts, although it was quite chilly. He was a gentleman, so he was wearing trousers.

It was so dangerous there. There was no proper sidewalk. I saw so many scooters. How fast they went! It reminded me of our vacation in Bermuda a few years ago.

  1. RB 455. 11 January 1982

400-metre standard

When I first ran the 400-metre dash in 1944, I did it in one minute. In 1945 my time was 56 seconds and in 1946 it was 54 seconds. From then on, I always did it in under 54 seconds — 53.6 or less. Even in 1961 or 1962 it was still under 54 seconds.

  1. RB 456. 17 January 1982

Running in P.S. 86

This evening at nine o’clock I went to P.S. 86, and I jogged there for an hour. The witnesses were Databir, Nirvik and Kanan. We went to the large room, and by going from one side to another we found a course that was over three hundred metres long. I passed through the room where the disciples sit at functions and then entered into the big hall.

In this world people can be good or bad. The principal there says that I will be able to run there in the morning or evening for free, without having to rent the building. So he is proving to be a very good man.

  1. RB 457. 26 January 1982

Starting again

The first day I started running again after being injured, I could only run one block. Then I would have to stop and walk. Yesterday I ran eight hundred metres, and then I walked a little. Today it was better. When you stop running, your stamina goes away totally. It is not like tennis, where you retain your ability to a certain extent. Also, tennis always gives such joy; even if you miss the ball, at least you are playing a game.

Many years ago the Supreme gave me the capacity to run, but He didn’t give me enough time. I was acting like a slave to so many people — every day serving five masters at my various jobs in the ashram. What could I do? I just didn’t have time to practise running, although I had the capacity. Of course, now I have eight or nine hundred masters to please!

In addition to the disciples, I have two more masters: my two dogs, Sona and Kanu. For the last two weeks my little three-month-old Kanu has been blessing me so that I get no peace at night. He just cries and cries. When I finally bring him upstairs, he is so restless. He won’t stay in one place for more than two minutes. Sometimes around seven o’clock he rests a little, but usually until eight-thirty in the morning when the disciples come to work, I am a perfect slave to my little dog.

  1. RB 458. 31 January 1982

The unspoken invitation

When I was running this morning, I passed by a very fat man about my age waiting for the bus. He was wearing a heavy coat and scarf. God knows how long he had been waiting, and I felt sorry for him.

I was making loud noises while I was running, huffing and puffing. The fat man said to me, “How old are you?”

I said, “Fifty.”

“You are running like a hundred-year-old man,” he said.

After I covered thirty metres more, a thought entered into my mind: “Let me invite him to run with me.” But this was all in the mental world, not in the practical world, and I kept on running.

  1. RB 459. 31 January 1982

The two rivals

Kirsty and I are two rivals. God is not satisfied with punishing me alone; He has to punish Kirsty also. I can’t run; God has blessed me. Now I see that Kirsty can’t run either. Usually one rival wins. In our case God has demolished both of us. For the last few weeks neither one of us has been running.

One day we shall be able to fight against our fate. This year in the New York Marathon we have to do well.

  1. RB 460. 31 January 1982

The mountain and the Lilliputian

In our marathon today I was watching Sarita run. I thought, “If you have will-power and strength, who cares about extra body weight?” She has tremendous strength from practising for five or six years. Five or six years ago she would sometimes faint when she ran. Now she is so strong!

Sarita and Snigdha were running together. Sarita looked like a mountain and Snigdha looked like a Lilliputian next to her.

  1. RB 461. 31 January 1982

The dangers of the sauna

Last week a very famous boxer fainted after coming out of a sauna. Last year Vinaya’s “sauna” almost made me faint on the street.

Vinaya’s car-sauna is hotter than the hottest. It can kill the strongest man on earth. On that day we drove about ten miles in his car-sauna along my running course on Union Turnpike. After ten miles I got out. When I opened the door and stepped out onto somebody’s lawn, I almost fainted. I told him that the owners wouldn’t appreciate it if I fainted on the lawn, and I got back into the car.

Once I entered the car, I asked him to drive as fast as possible back to my house and not to worry about the police. On Union Turnpike we were going seventy, seventy-five, eighty miles per hour. I am a fool and he is a fool. We didn’t think of lowering the heat or opening the windows. We just went on driving as fast as possible. He said, “Guru, before I joined the path, I did this kind of thing. Now you are asking me again to drive eighty-five miles per hour.” He was so delighted to go back to his old life!

When we reached my house, some boys had to carry me out of the car onto the lawn. One was massaging my head, one my feet. They put ice all over my body, and there were two fans. I couldn’t recognise anyone, and I couldn’t even get up.

My next door neighbour Mrs. Chino came out of her house in a panic. She said that she didn’t want to lose me. “I recently lost my husband and I don’t want to lose you,” she said.

Finally the boys took me upstairs. I closed the door — only to have a more serious attack. I couldn’t keep my eyes open.

I always used to advocate that Amita and others ride in Vinaya’s sauna. Amita says she enjoys it like anything. But for me, Vinaya puts it on the hottest. He wants to show off — to show me how powerful his sauna is. Before I enter into the car, he runs the motor for ten or fifteen minutes. When he shows off and when I show off, where do we stand?

You may ask why my inner beings didn’t warn me that this would happen. They could have, but they knew I was not going to die, and they wanted to give me an experience. This suffering that I went through was necessary; otherwise, I would not have learned the needed lesson and taken the message seriously. Now this message I am giving to all my disciples.

The sauna can be very dangerous if you try to lose five or six pounds all at once. The sauna should be used only for ten or fifteen minutes — not for an hour or two. Eat less and run more: this is the only cure for weight problems. The only answer is to run and then to not eat, to not eat and then to run. In my case I also put weights on my legs and get very good exercise when I walk.

Those who say they don’t eat and still gain weight have to pray to the goddess of air: “Please don’t come near me.” As the Indians traditionally pray to Saturn, “Saturn, please don’t come near me,” they have to pray to the air goddess or the wind god, “Please don’t come near me, because if you come, I gain weight.”

Recently I took some pills which Dhananjaya bought in Mexico. If you take these Mexican pills, you may lose nine pounds but you get unbearable cramps. The other day I took them, only to die. When I got the cramps, I screamed from upstairs for help. Baoul and Databir were outside. They heard me calling, but because of the birds’ screaming, nobody in the house could hear me. Now Dhanu has installed a buzzer system in the house so that I can be heard from upstairs. It rings in every room of the house.

The Mexican pills were not as dangerous as the sauna, but they were still quite dangerous. From now on I have decided, “No pills, no sauna!”

  1. RB 462. 3 February 1982

Wishful thinking

I am just starting to run again, but still I cherish wishful thinking! Before I start running, I am hoping to run my fastest. Then, after 400 metres, I stop. I can’t run even one mile! For 400 metres I walk and for 400 metres I run. Then 800 metres I walk and 800 I run.

Today I ran three miles. For the first two miles I walked for 400 metres and I ran for 400 metres. This is what happens when you don’t practise for a month. In Puerto Rico I had a tooth problem and a very high fever, so I couldn’t run. So many other things as well have prevented me from training.

  1. RB 463. 13 February 1982

A confusing race

Today we went to run five miles in the marathon held in Eisenhower Park. It was all confusion! The police car made a wrong turn, so the first ten runners who were following it had to run a half mile more.

The course was five loops, so it was very confusing. Pahar and Nirvik could not follow the signs. After running five miles, we ran 400 or 500 metres extra!

Cahit Yeter was running, and he was very happy to see me. Among the disciples, Christopher ran for twelve or thirteen miles. Trishul was exhausted because he had already run two other races recently. This was his third race in three weeks.

Ketan was with us in the back seat while we were driving. Databir kept asking Ketan for directions, and Ketan immediately gave readymade answers.

There were about thirty disciples, mostly Canadians, who went to see our performance and cheer us while we ran.

  1. RB 464. 14 February 1982

They don’t run

All the girl disciples say that they don’t run very much. But then I go to my four-mile point and see somebody like Kirsty running. In this way I catch them.

Today, at my three-and-a-half-mile point, I saw Nirjhari running. So I know she ran at least seven miles.

  1. RB 465. 15 February 1982

Walking shorts

Chayanika made me some very warm shorts, and I went race-walking in them this afternoon. She has proved that spring is here, at least for today.

  1. RB 466. 15 February 1982

How is your business?

When I was race-walking, Dhanu’s car was following me. There were some distinguished people in the car: Nirvik, Ila, Garima, plus Trishul. I covered many miles.

When I had covered only 500 metres, a young boy smiled at me and said to me, “How is your business going on?” Now, what is my business?

Later, a young man offered me a can of beer. I smiled at him. He said afterwards to the people in the car that there was much protein in beer.

  1. RB 467. 15 February 1982

Old man, keep going!

After I finished race-walking, I was doing speed work in front of my house. Three very nice black men said to me, “Old man, keep going, keep going! Some day you will do well.”

  1. RB 468. 15 February 1982

Abhipsa’s light

While I was walking, I saw Abhipsa at a distance. He had on a Bill Rodgers running suit, and the back of it was shining.

Once a seeker was misusing his occult power by showing light, so Sri Ramakrishna took away the light. Ramakrishna did the man a big favour. But Abhipsa was not misusing his light, so I didn’t take it away.

  1. RB 469. 15 February 1982


I do so much hill work! Today I did two miles in this area, and then I went to Yonkers and ran another two and a half miles. In Yonkers there are frightening hills.

Dhanu was driving, and Databir, Ila and Nirvik were in the car. They are all witnesses.

  1. RB 470. 18 February 1982

The blind runner

This afternoon I went to Yonkers to run. The marks for the Westchester Half-Marathon have now become nearly invisible, so Dhanu couldn’t follow the proper course while driving near me in his car. I saw the marks, but I had more faith in him than in myself, so I followed the car.

After half a mile, I realised that he had made a wrong turn. Then we retraced our steps until we came to a particular side street. I remembered from our previous training runs that it was the correct street, so I was looking over my shoulder at the car and signalling for Dhanu to come. He was ahead of me forty or fifty metres. While I was still looking backwards, I started running in the street.

Two young boys were passing by — one was running and the other was cycling. The boy who was cycling went right onto the sidewalk to avoid me and said to the other boy, “Can’t you see this blind man? He is looking in one direction and running in the other direction.”

The other boy said, “He can’t do a thing.” He didn’t listen to the other one and kept running on the street.

  1. RB 471. 18 February 1982

Dobbs Ferry Hills

When I run near Dobbs Ferry, I start near the Hudson River and run for three miles. The first mile is all uphill. At one point I run fifty metres straight to the top of a hill. Right at the top I am always attacked by dogs.

Once Nathan was bragging that the hills he runs in Arizona are very steep. So I told him, “You come with me.” At first he didn’t want to admit that the hills I ran were steeper. But when I started barking at him, he confessed that these were steeper and more difficult.

  1. RB 472. 18 February 1982

The runners club

The other day, when I was in the car on my way to do hill work, I saw four girls at the one-mile mark — Tina, Christine, Diane and Irene. Instead of running, they were standing around in a circle.

Later, I heard that they have a club. They run together every morning. After one mile they meditate before going back.

  1. RB 473. 18 February 1982

The snakes

Children have no sense. In the beginning of the three-mile race in Long Island, they criss-crossed back and forth like snakes.

  1. RB 474. 20 February 1982

“Ultra, ultra!”

While I was running the three-mile race, a man was looking at me out of curiosity. He said, “Ultra, ultra!”

Then, just as I was crossing the finish line, they made an announcement that I was finishing.

After the race a photographer from a Long Island newspaper came to take my picture.

  1. RB 475. 20 February 1982

Mantra from Heaven

During a two-mile race in Alley Pond Park, I saw a husband and wife who were also running. After twelve hundred metres the wife was unable to keep pace with the husband, and she wanted to give up. But the husband was encouraging her to continue. He was saying, “This is discipline. If you don’t have discipline, you can’t accomplish anything.”

I thought, “This mantra that he is saying is absolutely descending from Heaven. God is speaking to her through her husband.” I was so moved.

  1. RB 476. 21 February 1982

Tanima’s descent

This morning I was running up 150th Street. At one point I saw Tanima the great going down the hill — driving.

  1. RB 477. 24 February 1982

Rejean’s handshake

Rejean won the two-mile race in Cunningham Park today, and they gave him only a handshake. If the organisers of the race did not plan to give the winners anything, why did they charge a dollar fee to enter?

Since Rejean was the best runner, he should have shook their hands as hard as possible. Then they would have remembered his handshake. They might have forgotten his running, but they would never have forgotten his handshake.

So victory today went to Rejean. Abadh was second. Then just a little behind was Utpal. Nirvik also did well. He has broken his previous record.

  1. RB 478. 27 February 1982

Great master and great disciple

Nirvik and I are great. First we ran a one-mile race in Eisenhower Park, and then we went to Central Park and ran five miles of hills, all up and down. Then we ran in the Green Leaves and Ripe Fruits race. A great Master and a great disciple! The only difference is, the disciple massages the Master after running, even while he himself is dying.

  1. RB 479. 28 February 1982

Good morning, sir!

I started my running-journey this morning at three-thirty. Then I ran again at five o’clock, doing hill work. A lady who was out with her dog said, “Good morning, good morning, Sir!”

Early in the morning is the best time for running. There is no car problem. You can run in the middle of the street.

  1. RB 480. 2 March 1982

Starve unto death

If you want to lose weight, there is no middle path. Buddha spoke of the middle path. But if you want to lose weight, you have to go to the extreme — starve unto death. Then you can fly when you run.

Saturday I was under a hundred and forty pounds. Then I ran in a two-mile race. During the race I felt that I had conquered the world, but after the race I felt tired and exhausted. Then relaxation started, and I gained four pounds.

  1. RB 481. 2 March 1982

Baoul’s trance

Today Baoul meditated so well. He was waiting in the car to take me running. I entered into the car and called his name. Still he did not come out of his trance. He remained fast asleep.

  1. RB 482. 2 March 1982


Today I was running very fast, taking long strides. Each stride was at least fifty inches, going up to sixty-two.

The man who lives across from me was out with his dog. He was on the sidewalk and I was on the street. He always greets me first. But this time we just looked at each other. I did not recognise him, and he did not recognise me.

When I saw him enter into his house, I came to know who it was. Then I felt miserable. I said, “Every day he greets me, but today he did not greet me. “Baoul went to speak to him. He was very sad that he had not recognised me. So we both felt sad. I went home and felt sad, and he went home and felt sad.

Later I was playing the esraj on the porch, and he happened to be outside. I raised my hand, and he smiled. In this way we compensated.

  1. RB 483. 6 March 1982

Mistaken identity

Today when I was riding in the car, I saw someone running. I said, “Look at this girl. Definitely it is one of our people.”

O God, when the runner turned around, I saw that it was Kanan. Luckily he didn’t hear what I had said. I did not want to disturb him because he was going for a long run. Therefore I deliberately did not call him to come join us in the car.

  1. RB 484. 7 March 1982

The laggard

Today for the first time Chidananda followed me in the car when I was running on my loop. Twice I looked around but I didn’t see the car there. Then I saw that his car was a hundred metres behind me. Usually people driving with me stay only twenty or thirty metres behind me, but he was a hundred metres behind.

  1. RB 485. 7 March 1982


Even in the face of injuries or poor health, I will not give up running so easily. Now running is unbearable. So first I have to make it bearable, then enjoyable. It is my wish every day to run at least five miles at a stretch and ten or twelve miles altogether. And once a week I will do at least three miles of hill work.

  1. RB 486. 9 March 1982

The taxi driver

The day before yesterday, around three-thirty in the morning, I was running by my one-mile mark, near the place where you make a turn on Main Street to go to Flushing Meadow Park. A black man was driving by in a taxi — at that hour! He stopped the taxi and said, “Excuse me, can you give me a can of beer?” I said, “Thank you.” Then I just kept running. That was the only man I saw there. I ran two or three more miles, but I saw only one more car.

  1. RB 487. 31 March 1982

No bite, no bark!

This morning I ran two miles. The wind was killing me. As soon as I started, I met my old lady friend with her dog. First she said with tremendous anger and frustration, “Why are you running in this weather? It is freezing!” She was speaking with her German accent.

Then she said to me, “No bite, no bark, my Pauly!”

At that moment her dog started barking. I said, “As long as there is no bite, I don’t have to worry.”

But she got mad at her dog for barking.

  1. RB 488. 7 April 1982

The green light

This morning I covered fourteen miles. After I had run eleven miles, I was running slowly while crossing the street at a green light. A very old, fat cab driver wanted to go against the red light. He said, “Mister, can you run a bit faster?” I showed him that I had the green light. He said again, “What, you can’t run faster?”

He was so fat and old! I don’t think he could have run eleven miles.

  1. RB 489. 9 April 1982

All in a week’s work

On Monday I ran twenty miles. First I ran twelve miles in the morning. Later I ran another mile. Then, coming back from the dentist, I ran two and a half miles, and at night I ran another four and a half miles.

On Tuesday the snow was killing me. I could not run in that kind of blizzard.

On Wednesday I ran four miles.

On Thursday in the morning I ran seven miles, then half a mile and then three miles. I was showing off. Bansidhar was running with me on Union Turnpike. He is a good runner. During the three-mile run I was taking such long strides! Then, when we came to the last four hundred metres, my strides were sixty-five inches. Later Bansidhar said it was difficult to keep up with me. So yesterday I completed ten and a half miles.

Then today, fourteen miles! Altogether I walked only sixty metres. After seven miles I walked twenty metres. Then, after ten miles, I walked forty metres. If I had done only thirteen miles, the pace would have been 9:23. But the fourteenth mile brought the average down.

Short girl, long strides

Yesterday I was enjoying Pragati. She is such a short girl. How can she take such long strides? As I ran by her, she looked down at my feet. She did not realise that I was also looking at her feet, watching her strides.

  1. RB 491. 9 April 1982

The soul’s blessing

This morning when I was returning home after running five miles, all of a sudden somebody’s soul came to me and asked for special blessings. I said, “All right. I am dying now, but you need blessings.” So I blessed the person. Then I said, “I hope you do really well in the 12-hour walk.”

Two seconds later I just raise my eyes, and I saw that same person right in front of me. It was Sunanda the great. She is the only one whom I saw while I was running today. Her soul had come to me one second earlier.

  1. RB 492. 10 April 1982

From: Sri Chinmoy, Run and become, become and run, part 9 - , Agni Press, 1983
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