My Lord's Lotus-Feet versus my devotion-heart, part 1

1.

My Lord,
Now that my love for You
Is strong once more,
And my faith in You
Is strong once more,
I have decided to address
All my petitions and supplications
To Your Lotus-Feet once more.

2.

My Lord,
When I pray and meditate,
I most lovingly clasp
The Smiles of Your Eye.
Will You not clasp
The tears of my heart
In return?

3.

My Lord,
You do know the depth
Of my love, devotion
And surrender.
I must say, they all come
From the depth
Of my sincerity-heart.
My Lord, do You
Agree with me?
"My child, I do, I do."

4.

My Lord,
One day You inject
Elephant-confidence in me,
Next day You inject
Lion-confidence in me.
This way, alternately,
You give me
The elephant-lion-confidence
Early in the morning.
But, alas, as the day advances,
My confidence disappears.
I become an object
Of pity-insecurity.

5.

My Lord, fulfil me.
Fulfil me, my Lord.
Why delay any further?

6.

My Lord,
Inwardly I may argue with You
In season and out of season
But, rest assured,
If You are ever in need of me,
I will immediately throw myself
Heart and soul
At Your Feet.

7.

My Lord,
I know I argue with You
All the time inwardly,
But I know You are the only One
To take notice of me,
You are the only One
To take care of me,
You are the only One
To tolerate me,
You are the only One
Who has not lost
Even an iota of hope
In me.

8.

My Lord,
Whether You give me permission
Or not,
I shall go here, there
And everywhere
Telling the whole world
That I am Yours,
Solely Yours.

9.

My Lord,
Now it has become
An open secret.
Every day we barter:
You give me
Your Compassion-Eye;
I give You
My gratitude-heart.

10.

My Lord,
I stand in front
Of the world-assembly
And pray and meditate,
And speak so highly of You.
Can You not secretly come to me
And whisper a sweet word to me-
Even once?

11.

My Lord,
You have told me time and again
That when I am desperately
In need of You,
You will come to my rescue.
My Lord,
I need You badly.
How is it that You are neglecting
Your Promise to me?

12.

My Lord,
Every day
I am sending my heart-letters
To You
And asking You when both of us
Will meet once again.
Perhaps You do not know
Or You do not care to know
Of my heart's excruciating pangs.

13.

My Lord,
I am swimming
In the sea of ecstasy,
For You are deeply enjoying
My heart-garden.
I am commanding my eyes
Not to lose sight of You,
Even for a fleeting second.

14.

My Lord,
Everybody has special possessions.
My only priceless possession:
Your Forgiveness-Feet
Inside my heart-home.

15.

My Lord,
Sorrows attend my eyes
And tears attend my heart
When I fail to be intoxicated
By Your outer Beauty
And Your inner Fragrance.

16.

My Lord,
I admit that I have made
Most serious blunders
And I admit that my faults
Are innumerable.
That does not mean
That You cannot overlook
My faults.
That does not mean
That You cannot forgive me.
If You cannot overlook my faults,
If You cannot forgive me,
How are You going to preserve
Your reputation that You are
The Compassion-Forgiveness-Lord
Of the fallen?

17.

My Lord,
My outer life is fast asleep
But my inner life is fully awake.
Do not abandon me because of
My outer life's misbehaviour.
There shall come a time,
I am sure,
When my outer life
Will follow my inner life
Happily and proudly.

18.

My Lord,
We know that earthly happiness
Is of short duration.
How is it that
We do not increase every day
The speed
Of our climbing aspiration?

19.

My Lord,
Every day I want to wash
Your Feet
With my heart's gratitude-tears.
Nothing else ever concerns me.

20.

My Lord,
I want to adore
Your Compassion-Feet
Sleeplessly and breathlessly.
My Lord,
I want to enjoy indifference
To all else.

21.

My Lord,
My entire being is burning
With love, devotion
And surrender for You.
I simply cannot understand
How You can remain aloof.

22.

My Lord,
Now that You have allowed me
To gain Your Compassion,
Please never allow my love
To wane.

23.

My Lord,
I am unable to steal Your Heart
With my love
Because Your Heart is too vast.
Since my heart is so tiny,
Can You not steal my heart
With Your Love infinite?
I am sure You can do it
Easily.

24.

My Lord,
When I serve You,
I pray to You,
Do not pay me with Your
Affection-Gratitude-Smile.
What I need from You
Is Your express Command
To please You always
In Your own Way.

25.

My Lord,
Why do both of us boast
Unnecessarily?
Who chose whom first
Is of no consequence.
As long as we love each other
Unreservedly,
Let us put an end
To our sweet dispute.

26.

My Lord,
You have allowed me
To remain seated at Your Feet
All the time.
What an extraordinary favour
I have received from You!
Now I need
Another favour from You:
Please destroy
My shamelessly towering pride
Immediately.

27.

My Lord,
You have given me the capacity
To serve You
Day in and day out.
If You want to bless me in return,
Then I pray to You to grant me
Your Ocean-Delight as a reward
And nothing else.

28.

My Lord,
I want to be deeply attached
To Your Compassion-Eye
And Forgiveness-Feet
Exactly the way a desiring man
Is attached to his desire-life.

29.

My Lord,
Your Love has entrapped my eyes,
My heart, my life and my all.
May I be allowed to entrap
The hallowed dust of Your Feet?

30.

My Lord,
I know what I offer You
Is always small, very small,
Yet Your Heart overflows
With Nectar-Delight.
I am prepared
To come into the world
Again and again
Only to fathom Your Love
Unfathomable.

31.

My Lord,
Why are You so indifferent
To me today?
"My child,
I do not even know the meaning
Of indifference.
Therefore, your opinion of Me
Does not apply to Me."

32.

My Lord,
Today I want You to avoid me,
The impurity of my presence.
I am really ashamed
To call You my own.
"My child,
If I do not accept you
As you are,
Then how can I claim you
To be My own, very own?"

33.

My Lord,
I have been waiting
For a long time
To hear from You.
Why do You not ask for me?
Does it cost You anything?

34.

My Lord,
Time and again
You are commanding me
To come to You
Not as a beggar, but as a prince,
Your prince.
My Lord, are You sure
You mean what You are saying?

35.

My Lord,
I have forgotten
The beauty, fragrance,
Majesty and divinity
Of Your Feet.
Do run towards me
Fast, faster, fastest.
Your absence
Is stabbing my heart.

36.

My Lord,
There is no real reason for me
To torture You
For Your outer attention.
Alas, alas, yet why...?

37.

My Lord,
Since I am not pleasing You
In Your own Way,
Please do me the greatest favour:
Please hand me over
To the darkest oblivion-night.

38.

My Lord,
I live in earth-bound time,
But I am certain that a mere glance
From Your Compassion-Eye
Can chase away the power of time
That has enslaved my life.

39.

My Lord,
You have shown me many things,
But out of Your infinite Compassion,
Do show me Your own Path
Through my life.

40.

My Lord,
I beg of You to give me
The capacity to ceaselessly cry
At Your Lotus-Feet
Until all my voice is lost.

41.

My Lord,
It seems to me
That You have ceased
To care for me.
If I am right,
Do show me the way
And if I am wrong,
Then prove it.

42.

My Lord,
If I jump into Your Arms,
Will You hold me
Or drop me?
"My child,
If you believe in your courage,
Then I believe in My Concern."

43.

My Lord,
I have purified my mind,
I have widened my heart.
Is there anything more
You expect?
"My child,
Only one thing more:
Patience."

44.

My Lord,
I have given myself
Another name:
Earth-bound suffering.
"My child,
If you do not mind,
I can add
One more name:
Heaven-free delight."

45.

My Lord,
Every day I sing
Your Victory-Songs
For at least four hours.
May I know from You
What You do for me?
"My child,
You do your work
And I do My Work.
I energise your mind
And inspire your heart."

46.

My Lord,
You ask me to keep
My consciousness
One inch above my head
When I meditate.
Is there any reason?
"My child,
Your mind is inside your head.
I want you to remain
Outside your mind-jungle,
At least when you meditate
On Me."

47.

My Lord,
My love does not please You.
My devotion does not please You.
My surrender does not please You.
Is there anything I have
That can please You?
"My child,
Cultivate more sincerity.
Cultivate more eagerness."

48.

My Lord,
My desire-life who chose,
If not You?
"My child,
If you think that way,
Then I have something new
For you:
Aspiration-heart."

49.

My Lord,
I am proud
Of my gratitude-heart-tears.
Do You have anything
To be proud of?
"My child,
I have nothing
To be proud of.
From time immemorial
I have been performing
My self-imposed Task:
I love you.
I care for you."

50.

My Lord,
You have sent for me
And I am now here.
"But, My child,
I have asked your whole family
To come.
You and your body only are here.
Where is the rest of your family-
Vital, mind and heart?
How is it
That you have come to Me
Leaving them behind?
Alas, I wanted to take
Your whole family
Together with Me
To My new Home:
Satisfaction."

51.

My Lord,
Everything is topsy turvy
In this world.
I am supposed to run after You.
You are running after me
Instead.

52.

My Lord,
Have You any idea how beautiful
Your Compassion-Eye is?
My Lord,
Have You any idea how powerful
Your Protection-Hands are?
My Lord,
Have You any idea how merciful
Your Lotus-Feet are?
My Lord,
Have You any idea how blissful
Your Satisfaction-Heart is?
"My child,
I do not know.
But if you think
That I should know,
Then let Me hear it from you."
My Lord,
On one condition,
I expect Your undivided attention.
"Of course, My child, of course."

From: Sri Chinmoy, My Lord's Lotus-Feet versus my devotion-heart, part 1 - , Agni Press, 1998
Sourced from http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/llf-1