“You must pray and meditate to acquire inner happiness,” he would say. “This happiness cannot be bought or sold. Inner happiness increases only through constant self-offering to God’s Will and soulful gratitude to God’s Compassion.”
Some of the Master’s disciples were successful in acquiring true inner happiness, while others were unsuccessful. Among the unsuccessful ones there were many who tried to fool themselves and others by displaying false happiness. And among those who had acquired happiness, most found it difficult to maintain their happiness because of the intervention of doubts, anxieties, jealousy and insecurity.
The spiritual Master used to tell his disciples that he was a garbage can. He said he was more than ready, more than eager to accept all their inner impurities and imperfections. These he would empty into the universal Consciousness as soon as possible so that he could also remain happy, and then he would immediately fill his inner vessel with Light and Delight from his Inner Pilot.
It happened that on a certain occasion, after the Master had received the teeming imperfections of his disciples in the form of worries, doubts, jealousy and other undivine qualities, he deliberately kept them inside himself in order to see what would happen.
In two days’ time the Master found that he had become as undivine as his disciples were. Their imperfections had become part and parcel of his life, and these imperfections became so powerful that he was compelled to doubt even the very existence of God. He became depressed, destructive and doomed to disappointment because of his tremendous failure in the spiritual life.
When God finally came to him and blessed him with His infinite Love and Concern, the Master was so sad and angry that he said to God,“God, I have been fooled by you, and I have been fooled by my disciples. You promised me that you would help me to manifest you here on earth, but now it seems that you have totally forgotten your promise. And you are not the only culprit. My disciples have also promised me that they will help me in every way to manifest you. Now, either they have totally forgotten to help me, or they are deliberately avoiding me and evading their responsibility.
“I am now helpless. Both Heaven and earth are against me. What is worse is that I am always being fooled by the world’s flattery and its cleverness. My disciples stand before me with folded hands. They prostrate themselves before me and take the very dust of my feet. In every way they demonstrate outwardly how spiritual they are, how humble, how devoted and how totally surrendered they are. But God, you and I know how insincere most of them are.
“It is said that the disciples have to make surrender to the Will of the Supreme inside their Master. But in my case I see that I have made practically complete surrender to the ignorant demands of my disciples. I have been asking them to be happy, and I thought that if I could add to their happiness by pleasing them they would be able to make progress. But now I see how easy it is for them to fold their hands and bow down to me with utmost hypocrisy, and how difficult it is for me to please them sincerely in their outer life.
“Lord, you have repeatedly asked me to make my disciples happy. Well, I have tried in every possible way, and the result is that now I am completely bound by their ignorance. I am totally surrendered to their ignorance. They have more freedom than I have.
“Before I realised you, Lord, I had only one possession, and that was you. Now that I have realised you, you have blessed me or cursed me with many possessions in the persons of my disciples. These possessions of mine are binding me badly. At every moment they make demands on my life, consciously or unconsciously, and all these demands I literally kill myself trying to fulfil. Yet, whenever something good happens in their lives, they feel that it is because they have worked so hard, aspired so sincerely. They feel it is themselves who are responsible for their successes. But when anything goes wrong, immediately they blame me. They feel that my inner or outer guidance was not correct, not wise, and that it came not from you, not even from my own soul, but from my vital being, from my ego-personality. They never think that perhaps they themselves have not followed my directions, or that their ideas of success and failure are not necessarily yours.
“Lord, you know I always execute your Will. It is you who give success or failure, and it is you who enjoy this so-called success or failure as an experience of yours. But my disciples never see you in me. They only see me with their earthly human eyes. Sometimes outwardly they speak ill of me; inwardly they curse me. Always I am mercilessly caught by them. I am torn to pieces between your compassion and their frustration.
“Before I realised you, Lord, I had more freedom. I used to think of you only, as the tree, the main trunk, the root. Now that I have realised you, you have asked me to pay attention to all the branches, leaves, fruits and flowers. But these branches, leaves, fruits and flowers misunderstand my self-offering constantly. I am totally helpless. Your compassion is saving my life, but I feel that I am the worst possible fool on earth. I am always at the mercy of my disciples.
“You asked me to inspire my disciples and illumine them by advising unconditional surrender. I have executed your express wish and loving demand for them. Now I wish to say that it is I who have made unconditional surrender both to you and to the ignorance-king inside my disciples. Why? Just for one reason: because you have asked me to make them happy. Unfortunately, even this tremendous sacrifice of mine has not made all my disciples happy. So you see, Lord, how love-power and compassion-power can be mercilessly exploited.”
“Son, better late than never I have come to tell you that force is also a manifestation of true love. Love is force, and force can also be love. If you really love humanity, then if force is required to do what is best for humanity, you will use it. From now on your philosophy will explain love in more detail. Divine love is the most powerful force, and divine force is also the most powerful love.
“Human love and human force are the precursors of destruction. But divine love and divine force are the precursors of perfection. Divine love is inner will. Divine perfection is the perfection of one’s entire being, of one’s larger part, one’s extended self. This self is illumined and perfected through my justice-light as well as through my compassion-height.
“My son, until now you have used only my compassion-height in accordance with my Will. But from now on I want you to use my justice-light as well. From now on I want my justice-light and my compassion-height to act in you like two complementary souls. My compassion-height will awaken the sleeping souls, and my justice-light will illumine the aspiring souls. I now entrust you with a new responsibility, a new capacity and a new opportunity to manifest me perfectly on earth.”
“Lord, since you want me to play the role of your eternal server in your cosmic Game, I am more than ready to be of totally dedicated service to you.”
“Son, you are more than a server, infinitely more than a server to me. You are a real partner, in whom I can have perfect faith. Together you and I shall challenge the pride of ignorance-night, conquer ignorance-night, illumine ignorance-night and make it one, inseparably one with my ever-transcending light.
“Son, give me the joy of feeling that you are my partner and my server. When you are my partner we share our experiences equally. But when one of us becomes the Master and the other one becomes the server, the experience cannot be on the same plane of consciousness. So, son of my heart and soul, son of my silence-height and sound-might, you are my eternal partner as well as my server. Do you agree with my philosophy?”
“Father, the human being in me agrees with your philosophy with all the love and gratitude which it can offer you. The divine in me is praying to you to grant me something infinitely more divine than gratitude to offer you. I feel that my gratitude is not the answer to your Infinity, Eternity and Immortality. I need something infinitely more meaningful, fruitful and significant to offer in praise at your lotus-feet.”
“Son, it seems you will never understand my philosophy. Who will praise what at whose feet? Once and for all I am telling you that you and I are one. We are eternally equal. We are immortally partners.”
“Lord, I wanted consolation from you. You have consoled me. Now I wish to spell the word consolation for you. Please tell me if I am correct. I-L-L-U-M-I-N-A-T-I O-N. Am I correct, Father?”
“Yes, my son, you are.”
AUM 1202. July 15, 1974, Brighton, England↩
From:Sri Chinmoy,AUM — Vol. 1, No. 8, August 27, 1974, Agni Press, 1974
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/aum_87