The disciples' freedom

Part I

The disciples' freedom

‘Freedom’ is a word and ‘surrender’ is another word. Freedom is one thing and surrender is something totally different, you may say. But if you dive deep within, you will see that from the spiritual point of view there is no difference between freedom and surrender. At every moment it is the victory of freedom that we enjoy. You enjoy it, I enjoy it, he enjoys it, she enjoys it, the victory of freedom we all enjoy,

Before you accepted the spiritual life, you were your own boss. At that time you enjoyed full freedom in your own life — in the way that your mind inspired you or helped you or instigated you to see the light. Perhaps that way was all darkness, but you were your own boss. The day that you entered into my boat, you made a choice to use your freedom in another way. Not only your heart and soul but also your physical mind made this choice. Outwardly you may say that when you entered into my boat you gave up your freedom and surrendered to the Will of the Supreme in me. But if you are sincere, inwardly you will know that you did not give up your freedom at all. Only you decided to exercise your freedom in a different way. In a silly, ordinary human sense you may feel that this is surrender. But in a deeper sense you will see that still you are enjoying your freedom. Only now you are using your freedom to listen to your Master.

Before you joined our path, you had one kind of freedom. Then you changed your mind. You said, “Now I am fed up with that game and I want to enjoy a different kind of freedom. Before, I used my freedom to please myself and fulfil myself in one particular way. Now I want to use my freedom to please God and fulfil God in God’s own Way. God’s Way I don’t know, but my Master knows God’s Way and he will tell it to me.” So with your entire being you said, “Selflessly, devotedly and unconditionally I will listen to my Master.” In the first case, you exercised your freedom in your own human way. In the second case, you exercised the same freedom. But there you said, “No, I do not want to exercise my freedom in my own human way. I do not want to be for myself; I want to be for him. If he runs, I will run. If he sings, I will sing. If he dances, I will dance. I will do whatever he does or whatever he asks me to do. It is not because he is superior and I am inferior. It is not that if I don’t listen to him, he will throw me out of the Centre. No. It is because I have a burning desire to exercise and fulfil my freedom in this way. I will listen to him because my entire being cries out to listen to him.”

You have to listen to your Master not because you have entered into his boat and, if you don’t listen to him, then he will throw you out. No, no. Do not feel this way. It is not because he knows a little more than you, or because he has realised God and he will give you something if you listen to him. Forget about that, and do not expect anything. You are not a beggar that you have to listen to anyone in order to get something. Only feel that it is your own determination, your own choice, to try to please your Master in his own way. It is your own freedom that you are experiencing. Your spiritual life is an experience of your freedom.

All those who are still here with me in this boat, please feel that it is your own freedom you are utilising. It is not my freedom but your freedom. If you go deep within, you will feel the truth of what I am saying. You are here because of an inner choice that you made to lead a spiritual life. If that is not what you want, then you are perfectly free to leave. I did not go to your house and force you to become my disciple, and I am not forcing you to stay. At any time you are free to leave the Centre. Who can prevent you? It was your own free choice that brought you into our boat, which we call the Boat of the Supreme. And by your own free choice you are staying here and trying to please the Supreme in me. You want to please me, and that is why you are able to please me. Anything that I ask you to do, you can do, because that is your determination and God has given you the adamantine will to do it. Easily you can say, “I will have nothing to do with him. I will go in my own way. I will go towards the north, and I don’t care what anyone else does. I won’t see the south; I won’t see the east or west.” Again, you can say, “No, I will chase my Master, I will run after him. If he goes south, I will go south. If he goes north, then I will go north. I will follow him whatever direction he takes.” That choice you can also make. But if that is what you decide, do not then say, “Oh, I am surrendering to him.” No, who asked you to follow him? It was your own choice.

So do not speak of surrender any more. There is no such thing as surrender; it does not exist. There is only freedom — the freedom of your own will, the freedom of your own inner choice. Just dive deep within and you will see that it is the fulfilment of your own freedom that you are experiencing here. Once upon a time you were brave and you fulfilled your life in one way. Now another heroic thought or idea has entered into you and you want to do something else. You say, “It is my will all the time to do whatever he asks me to do. No matter what he asks me to do, like a hero I will do it. I will do it not because I have surrendered to his will, but because it is my wish, my desire.” As you wanted to fulfil your earthly desires before you entered into the spiritual life, now you have another desire that you wish to fulfil. You can call it divine or you can call it undivine. You can say anything. But let us take it as a desire. This aspiration itself let us take as a desire, but only in the highest spiritual sense. In the ordinary sense, desire is fulfilment of night, whereas aspiration is fulfilment of light. But this kind of spiritual desire is all fulfilment. And you have to feel all the time that it is your own will that you are fulfilling.

If you say that you are surrendering to your Master’s will unconditionally, then immediately your mind will say, “Why should I have to do that? What does he know?” But it is not a question of what your Master knows or does not know. That is not your business. Your business is only to fulfil your own desire, your own will. And it is your desire, your wish, to do what your Master asks you to do.

So, dear ones, it is so clear. I have made it so clear. Don’t think of surrender. You don’t have to surrender. Only be brave. Be sincere to yourself. “This is the choice I have made. I am going to do it.” In the ordinary life they say “by hook or by crook.” Here we say, “With my heart’s love, with my soul’s will, I will follow this path. Nobody has compelled me, nobody is touching my feet, nobody is breaking my head. No, it is my own inner urge that I do it. It is my wish, my will, that I do it. As I did things in my own way before I entered the spiritual life, here also I am doing something in my own way.”

Your mind will say that like a dog you are following me, but your heart will say, “I am just going because I want to be with him. I want to be one with my Master’s will.” Remain all the time in the heart; then you will feel that you are one with me.

So always feel that it is your own will that you are fulfilling. It is not the surrender of a slave to a master; it is not the surrender of a subordinate to a superior. It is only your own will to follow someone. And who is that person you have chosen to follow? It is not somebody else but your own higher reality. It is you who have made the choice to run after that person who is your own true reality. You can call him your Master, you can call him the Supreme, you can call him anything. But whatever you call him, it is you who have chosen to follow him. The choice is coming not from outside but from within you. It is your own inner determination that you are fulfilling. It is your own inner determination to follow the spiritual life. It is your own will. Nobody can tell you to do this — no mother, no father, no Master, no God, nobody. It is you yourself who are exercising your own freedom, your own will.

So from now on, dear ones, feel that you are pleasing yourself, not me. If you can please yourself in this divine way, with your own soul’s determination, then feel that you are also pleasing me. As long as you can maintain your own adamantine will, your soul’s will, then you can forget about love, devotion, surrender and all those things. Only exercise your freedom in this divine way, and you will have no problem.

Part II: Questions answered during an informal gathering

Question: Do people meditate in Heaven and does their consciousness go up and down?

Question: How long does it take a great Yogi or an Avatar to realise God?

Realisation everybody has. In the inner world you people all are realised, only you have forgotten it. You have learned too many outer things and your outer knowledge has eclipsed your inner knowledge. When it is a matter of a soul’s realisation, everybody has that; but realisation of the entire being — heart, vital, mind and body — that is the thing that you do not have, but I do have.

For you right now, realisation is most difficult because you have not realised God. For me, since I have realised God, I find that revelation is really more difficult than realisation. You may say, “Oh, you can go and give a talk at Hunter College and that is your revelation.” But that is not my revelation. My revelation comes when earth accepts my Light; that is called real revelation. Earth needs it and the Supreme needs it for earth. But earth doesn’t want it. If the Commander says, “Help this person,” I am ready to help. Then that person kicks me and says, “I don’t need your help.” So I go to the Commander and He says, “No, you go and you give.” So I go back. Like this I am a shuttlecock going from this court to the next. The Supreme says, “Go and give,” so I go, but earth doesn’t accept it. Then I go back again.

When I realised God, I had to go beyond the cosmic gods, and I had to fight them. But at that time there was no third person involved. I was going up to my Beloved Supreme, and there was nobody else involved. Now when I am dealing with the earth, problems start. Earth does not want what I have, but the Supreme says, “No, whether earth wants or not, you give.”

Then comes manifestation, which is much more difficult than revelation. Now earth is saying, “No, I will not accept your Light at all.” Tomorrow earth will say, “Yes, I am accepting.” Then for five minutes or five years or ten years, earth will accept. Then it will say, “You are very bad. You have not done the right thing.” Then earth will kick me, and the manifestation, the lasting manifestation, will not take place.

Question: Will those realised souls ever manifest God?

Question: Will Christ ever come back and try again? So many people expect his second coming.

Question: Since you embody their consciousness, doesn't your existence on earth represent a form of their coming back?

Question: Guru, wasn't that whole idea of the second coming meant to be looked at symbolically and not really as an actual event? In other words, the second coming was the transformation that was to take place within the individual.

Question: Have any other great spiritual Masters come back in a different form?

Question: In future incarnations, will we have other spiritual Masters, or will you directly guide us from above?

Many times children do not learn from their parents although their parents are highly developed mentally. But they get joy in learning from others. In my case also it will happen. First class and second class disciples definitely I will get, and I will be able to guide them from above. As for third class disciples, I am a little bit doubtful. As for fourth class, fifth class and sixth class disciples — O God, I wish they would leave today. Let them leave me and go to some Swami; that will solve all my problems.

Again, today somebody may be a fifth class disciple and tomorrow he can be first class. And there is no hard and fast rule that first class will always remain first class. A disciple may fall and go to third class, fourth class or fifth class. So at every moment remain alert. If you are first class, try to remain first class. If you are not first class, you should try your utmost to get up to the level of first class and remain there. Many go up and then fall. Again, many don’t try even to go up, or they try, but their effort is not sincere. But if the first class can maintain their standard, they will never, never leave no matter how many incarnations they have. And those who are really my first class disciples will not have to take twenty or thirty or forty or sixty incarnations to realise God. When a Master of my calibre comes down, ten incarnations can be done in ten years. As a matter of fact it has already happened. Some of the disciples would be behind thirty or forty incarnations in capacity if they had not met us.

You people have seen your friends who are still leading an ordinary life. You can see the difference between their lives and your life. After forty or fifty years you will see your achievement and their achievement. When you look at them you will see it is all night, and when you look at yourself you will see it is all day.

Question: How do you make the difference between first class and second class disciples?

How do I draw the line? You are the student. Outwardly I am not examining you, but inwardly you are being examined every day. Every day I judge, but not in the sense of a real judge. Only I see the standard. I see how much you are crying, how eager you are to make progress and surrender to the divine in me. These things get marks from me. Every day you people are getting marks from me. I have said that a spiritual Master is like a private tutor. It is true. Even though I am giving you marks, I am not failing you in the examination. Outwardly I am not making any announcement. I am not asking you to leave my school. In a school if you fail for a year or two, the authorities will ask you to leave. But I am not doing that. In most cases I am keeping you, unless I see it is a hopeless case. But inwardly I am observing the situation and seeing who is my first class disciple, second class disciple and so on.

Again, I have to be very frank with you. Inside first class there is an inner circle. For those in my inner circle and even up to the first class level, I make their fate. With others, I try to make their fate better, more luminous, more spiritual. But for the first class disciples and my inner circle, I am the fatemaker also. I make their fate. That does not mean asking someone to open up a restaurant or some divine enterprise, no. One does not have to be a first class disciple to open up a divine enterprise. Even a sixth class disciple can manifest the Supreme in the outer world. What I am speaking of is far more significant.

Outwardly I may ask someone to get a Master’s degree or to become a doctor. This is for my manifestation on earth, and it is very important. But there is another kind of fate-making that takes place in the inner world. In the inner world also I may approach someone to do something for me. I am telling someone, “This has to be done; that has to be done.” On the outer level I may tell someone to work on a newspaper, or to learn medicine; that is making the outer fate. Then, from outer fate, one can enter into the inner fate. Again, there are some disciples who in the outer life may not do anything worth showing, but perhaps in the inner life they are standing very firm. In the inner life they are very capable of doing something, so I help them. So here I am making their inner fate.

It may sound very complicated, but it is not so complicated. First class disciples are bound to feel that it is not complicated. But here I have to say that those who are all the time seeing me and moving around here in Jamaica are not all my first class disciples or inner circle. No! True, there are some that are moving around the Centre who are my first class disciples. But if you see fifteen or twenty people moving around with me all the time, never think that this means they are all my first class disciples.

The seeker has to feel and will feel whether he or she is first class, second class and so on. This feeling has to come during meditation, during real meditation. Otherwise, out of jealousy or insecurity someone will say, “Oh, since Guru did not smile at me this morning, I am a fourth class disciple. I can never be his first class disciple.’ Only during a very good, high meditation will you be able to know whether you are first class, or second class, or some other class. Otherwise, if I look at somebody else, immediately you will think that you are not a first class disciple. But you may be my really first class disciple and the person to whom I gave a broad smile may be a fourth class disciple.

So from my smile, or from outer signs, you won’t be able to know who is my first, second or third class disciple. But those who really belong to me know that they are my first class disciples. It is not that I have directly told them. That I have not done. On rare occasions I had to tell a few people because they were sad and depressed for certain reasons. Otherwise, I have not gone and told individuals on the telephone; that I have not done and I will not do.

Question: Usually I doubt that the thing I am doing in the outer world is the right thing. What should I do about this?

Then, since you have a Master, easily you can ask me. Once you ask me about something and I say, “Do it,” then you will know that it is the right thing. Even if you see that people are not listening to you at all but only telling you that it is a waste of time, I wish to tell you that if you dare to do it, then success will come. Your divine success will come from your obedience itself.

You know thousands of Indian stories in which, only by virtue of obedience, people have realised God. The Master says, “Stand here,” and then he goes away and comes back four or five hours later. While standing there fixed, the disciple should not think, “Oh, I am useless. Master is not using me for any purpose. He knows that I am useless. That’s why he is not asking me to run or go and mix with the other disciples.” If the disciple has that kind of idea, then he is lost. But if he feels, “The Master has asked me to stand here, so that means this is the very best thing I can do for my own progress,” then the disciple is doing the right thing. He should feel, “If I stand here for as long as he wants, then I will be able to realise the Truth infinitely faster. So this is the best thing for me.”

In your case, you are having difficulties while you are dealing with people. People are misunderstanding you. You are trying to help them, but they don’t take your help. They misunderstand you, criticise you and insult you. But if you feel, “This job has been allotted to me by my Guru. I will do it until he changes my job,” then the very fact that you have accepted me as your very own will save you, protect you and illumine you.

In the outer world it is difficult to deal with people because every day we somehow manage to forget our inner promise to the Master. Every day we have to renew our inner promise. There is only one promise, and it is the same for everyone. “I am going to fulfil the Supreme in my Master and in myself in this incarnation.” That’s all. Every morning we are eating new food; similarly, every morning we have to renew the promise. Renew, renew! So, if you every day renew your promise, then no matter how many people you deal with daily, you will have no difficulty. If you fulfil that promise which your soul has made, then automatically obedience will come, love will come, devotion will come and surrender will come.

Our philosophy starts with love and then it goes on to devotion and surrender. These are three rungs of the same ladder. But now I am seeing something very strange. People say that they love the Supreme in me. According to their capacity, let us say, they love me. It may be human love or divine love or anything. But the next step — devotion — they don’t want to make. Here I wish to say that if there is no devotion, then the feeling of oneness, the sweetest oneness, will never come. Devotion means dedicated oneness and that does not come.

Some people are stuck on the first level. They love our path and our mission in a human way or a divine way. But when it is a matter of devoted action, devoted oneness, this they do not have. So here their progress stops. If there is love, and if this love is absolutely divine, then the love will pass through devotion and touch the door of surrender. Then it will become one with the door of surrender. At that time, automatically the door is opened and the seeker becomes really perfect, absolutely perfect.

Again, for some people it is really difficult to start even with love. In their lives they have not got love from anybody and it is very difficult for them to love. In these cases, they have to start with obedience, just obedience. A child may not love his mother, but he knows that his mother will thrash him if he does not listen. So he obeys. Then, after a few years, when he is able to judge for himself, he feels, “My mother did the right thing. She told me the right thing. At that time I did not understand, but now I understand that my mother was asking me to do the right thing.” In the spiritual life there are quite a few disciples who have not developed any kind of divine love for their Master. So I tell these people inwardly to try and obey me blindly. Blindly it is, because there is no feeling of love on their part. But it should also be cheerfully. If I say not to study, then don’t study. If I ask you to study, then study. If I say not to go to a place, then don’t go. Like this, if you can accept what I ask you to do immediately, with a cheerful feeling, then you have passed that level and you can go on to the next class, which is love.

Question: Several times I've heard the boy disciples say it is easier for the girls because they can kind of fall in love with you, Guru. Is there any truth in this way of thinking?

Why do you have to think of love, devotion and surrender? If you come to me and just give me a soulful smile, you have given me the entire universe. When you give me a really soulful smile, you have given me the same kind of happiness I got the day I achieved my realisation. If you can make me happy in the way I want to be, that to me is as good as my God-realisation.

Each individual has to feel how much he can work for the mission unappreciated and unnoticed. Unappreciated and unnoticed! If you can do this, all your problems and everybody’s problems will be solved today. How many days, how many months, or let us say even, how many hours you can work without being appreciated by me: this is the test. Others may appreciate you or they may not appreciate you. But you can rest assured that even if nobody appreciates you, even if I give no outer recognition to you, still my inner appreciation is immediate. Immediate, I tell you! You people give me love-offering: five dollars or ten dollars or whatever. The moment I touch the envelope, my blessingful gratitude goes to you. The moment I ask you to do something, my blessingful gratitude goes. I have not seen the results yet; I don’t know whether you will bring success or failure. Perhaps you will bring me zero. Even then, my gratitude goes to the utmost extent.

Just because I have asked you to do something, I have also given you the capacity. Without giving you the capacity, I will never ask you to go and do something for me. Because I have given you the capacity, I have told you to do such and such a thing. Then, the moment I ask you, my inner gratitude flows.

So, if you really want to please me, the most effective way is to work unnoticed.

Question: Sometimes when I see my parents, they try to get me to leave your path, and other times they seem very sympathetic. I was just thinking maybe it would be better for me to break every connection I have with my parents. What do you think?

Again, even though they may not follow our path, if they lead a spiritual life, then only you are safe. If they are not spiritual, they cannot be sympathetic. Their spiritual life need not be your spiritual life; far from it. They need not go through this kind of strict discipline. But they have to go to church or something. In the morning, if they pray or meditate, that is their spiritual life. Spiritual life does not mean that they have to go to a spiritual Master. If they pray and meditate in their own way, then you are safe.

You may feel that they are being sympathetic, but it may be because they do not want to create any disharmony in the family. But they can feel, “Tomorrow, if we propose that he leave that Indian rascal, then he will come. But if we ask today, he will simply boycott us.” This is a tricky compromise. What you call sympathy and all that I wish to say may be really just a tricky compromise. But if they themselves pray and meditate in their own way, I will not say it is a compromise. It is far more than a compromise.

Question: Is it possible for a Master to give someone a new mind?

There are many things that I have done that are recorded only in inner history. There are many things which I have done that I could prove outwardly, but I do not prove. Many things I have bragged of doing I did long before you people were born, but where is the proof? You people will say, “Now show it.” I say, “I won’t show it.” You say, “You can’t show it.” I say, “All right.” You people will be satisfied by saying I can’t do it, and I will be satisfied by not proving that I can do it. In this way it goes on and on. But in the inner world, whatever I have done is all recorded. Things that you call absolutely impossible, things that even the scientists will say are impossible — these things are all recorded, and you will know them after your death when you see my inner books. Now my Agni Press is giving you only outer books. But when you read my inner books, you will see how many impossible things have been done by me — absolutely impossible things. Medical science will never believe it. Even when some of you progress for a hundred more incarnations you will say, “No, it is impossible.” But it has been done.

Question: When you said that you take dark forces from the disciples and throw them into the universe, who gets them?

Question: In the Universal Consciousness do these forces go into another form of life, or will they be transformed?

Question: Can those forces come back from the Universal Consciousness and affect somebody again?

Question: If you remove the undivine forces from us, and they just come back because we desire them or are attached to them, how can you remove the desire or attachment?

If you have any weakness, try to stand on the other side. If you have jealousy, then try to feel friendship and oneness. In that way only you can do it. See the other side, which is the positive side. Then you can do it.

Question: If you are consciously aware that you are actually being tortured by the vital or mind, does that mean you are still aspiring or does that mean you've surrendered?

Question: Does that mean if you forget something you surrender to it?

Part III

Attacking the Master

I am a nice man. I have to brag. I have to brag. During this one-hour question period, I have been showing my utmost love — father’s love, friend’s love, everything. But eleven disciples right now are consciously dissatisfied with me. And, believe me, they have been attacking me like anything. I can say point-blank who she is, who he is. This attack — where am I keeping it now? In this portion of my head. Is it not my infinite compassion? Right now if I say the names of the persons who have attacked me, then to the end of your lives the rest of you will curse those people. With such affection and love I have been speaking with you about first class, second class, third class disciples. But some of you are feeling that you are not even fourth or fifth class; that’s why terrible anger has entered into you and now you are attacking.

How many of you here are first class and how many are second class or third class, I know. Now, if you are first class or second class, is it fair to attack me? I tell you, eleven persons have attacked me. Here in my physical I feel your attack. See, my inner beings are now removing it and throwing it into the Universal Consciousness. Now they are taking it away. You people are blind. God has given you only outer eyes. With your eyes you may see that Guru is doing nothing. But my inner beings have started; they are taking it away from me. You do not know the kind of pain I am going through now. All of your anger I have taken right here (points to the back of his neck). If I say the truth, I become your enemy. Again, there are a few who are fifth class or sixth class disciples here who have not cursed me.

Sometimes when I am meditating with you people it happens also. Oh, every body has folded hands; everybody is doing like this (folds his hands). You all look like you are giving your devotion. But no, instead of giving your love and devotion, you are only giving your jealousy and all your vital demands. You are throwing them. If you throw them into me with devotedness, they do not attack me. But when you throw them with arrogance, pride, vanity or an aggressive quality, then they attack me like anything. You can give me all your lowest vital problems; all your sex forces you can give me. I don’t mind, but with devotedness you have to give me. Then I can help you. But when you give them to me with aggression, they come and attack me like anything.

I tell you, I am the dustbin. Yes, you give me all your absolutely lowest, filthiest forces. Yes, you give me. But if you give me with devotedness, they do not attack me. Otherwise, they attack me. It is not my compassion? Right now my inner beings have taken those forces away. Now I am feeling absolutely no pain. But this thing — every day it happens in all the Centres. Sometimes I get so mad at some of the disciples, and many, many plans come to my mind: what to say to them, what to do. But I am at the mercy of my compassion, and I remain silent.

Today I am telling you, if in the future I say something which displeases you people, please feel that there is nothing to be displeased about. Even if you feel that you are a seventh class disciple, just be grateful for that. You can say, “True, I am a seventh class disciple, but at least I still exist as a disciple. So I can progress. Today I am absolutely at the foot of the tree, but tomorrow I can climb up to the topmost branch. Just because I am at the foot of the tree, I at least have the opportunity to climb. There are millions who are not even near the tree; they are thousands of miles away from the tree. So for them it is simply impossible right now.

Disciple performances