Question: How can I best feel that I am an instrument of the Supreme?

Sri Chinmoy: You can best feel that you are an instrument of the Supreme if you can feel that there is no other reality but the Supreme. This is the first step. Then you have to feel that you can live without God, you can live without yourself, but God cannot live without you. A child hides. He is pretending that he can live without the mother but while pretending, he looks around to see if the mother is coming to find him. On the one hand, he pretends that he does not need the mother; that is why he hides. On the other hand, he waits and looks to see if the mother is actually coming to get him. This same child, when he grows into an adolescent, makes the mother feel and makes himself feel that he actually does not need his mother. He can live all by himself. He goes to some school and he does not keep in touch with his mother. But the mother’s heart is always for the son. The son feels that the mother needs him whether or not he needs her.

So if you can make yourself feel that you are needed by God, whether you need God or not, then your problem is solved. It is not your human ego that is saying, “I am very great. I do not need God, but God needs me.” No. Just because God has so much more knowledge and wisdom, He needs you. Just because He is the Creator, He is conscious of His creation. I am not the Creator; therefore, I can forget. The inferior sometimes finds it demeaning to go to the superior because he feels he will lose his individuality. Sometimes the inferior will feel that if he remains aloof, then he will maintain his sense of individuality. But the superior knows that the inferior is not a different reality.

A tiny drop may feel that it will have nothing to do with the ocean. If it mixes with the ocean, it feels the ocean will devour it. Then it won’t exist any more. But the ocean knows that it consists of all the countless drops; therefore, how can the ocean exclude the tiny drop? Only by virtue of the countless drops has it become the ocean. But the tiny drop wants to maintain its own individuality by staying separate. “If I mix with the ocean, then I will be totally lost. The best thing is to remain aloof.” But if you are sincere, you will feel that you are of God and also that He needs you more, because He is aware of how your existence is part of His, whether or not you are aware of it.

From:Sri Chinmoy,Father's Day: Father with his European children, Agni Press, 1976
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/fdf