My first friendship with the Muse

Thy love to bind


My Lord, kidnap my heart, I humbly pray.

Alas, mine is the life of a ruthless knave.

I must die; no one must mourn and toll the knell.

Without Thy Light my goal an error grave.

Eyeless desires and I together live.

The human souls frown at my moping mind.

My famished heart pines for Thy Bounty-height.

Awaken my Will, my Lord, Thy Love to bind. ```

I need the eye


My heart shall be as pure as Aurora's tears.

My wild vital must change its volcano-choice.

To hound my golden thoughts my vital horse

In vain endeavours; in me His Ecstasy-Voice.

I try, I cry, I sigh, but all in vain.

O Lord of my bleeding heart, I need the Eye

That sees the lives of the Present, Future, Past.

O doubt, aside you stay from my mission's sky! ```

The seed


I am the seed and root and boughs,

I am the aspiration-tree.

In me abides the deepest deep.

My goal I build; I am ever free.

My secret will absorbs my life,

My hidden treasure I share with earth.

Her sleepless pangs in me now breathe.

For her my freedom vast, my birth. ```

Quick march


Quick march, quick march within,

To change the fate of mortal life.

In you abides the Light

That pierces ignorant human strife.

A deathless birth divine

Shall bare your hidden Sun-bright heart.

Sole hope of the earth are you;

Ere long your mystic journey start! ```

I am Thy servant


I am Thy servant-of-servants, humble, low,

Truly I care not who Thou art, O Lord!

Thy Grace I invoke, only Thy Grace sublime

In Thee alone I find my bosom's cord.

My mind craves not for fame, O Thou Unknown,

Nor for Thy boundless Power, Knowledge-Sun.

My Lord, my first and last desire serene —

Make me Thy Vision's golden deathless son. ```

My nature old


My nature old in me creates

Stark doubts and ire.

It carries me into the cave

Of blazing fire.

Away my spirit flies too fast

And when to earth

Returns, alas, the earth again will

Torture my birth. ```

I smile


I smile to make Thee smile.

I weep to make Thee weep.

All deeds of mine invoke

Thy nameless, sun-vast sweep. ```

My longings


My longings make me poor and weak,

They hear not my secret Will.

Ever they hate my quest supreme,

Away they take my thrill.

A day shall come, I know it well,

When all desires of mine

Will seek Thy Grace and Thee alone.

I then in Thee shall shine.

I will be above the fruits of deeds.

Thy blue Compassion-Eye

Will guide my heart and soul, my all.

In Thee my past shall die. ```

My days and nights


My days and nights are fast asleep,

Long lost am I in their bosoms wide.

The gloom and pangs of unknown caverns

Within, without my heart abide.

My life-river is hushed in awe,

And all my acts in vain now end.

No mighty Soul to soothe my heart;

My sinking breath without a friend. ```

A tortuous stream


A tortuous stream our only fate,

A sluggish evolution's flow

We feel from morn to eve of our life.

Who says the One in us shall grow?

Covered we are with Nothingness;

The ignorance breathes deep in our heart.

No hope of dawn in our stupor-breast;

Before our heart-beat gleams death-dart.

We dwell upon the barren surface;

Alas, we never go within.

The Supreme's Bliss remains unknown;

Around us sports a dreadful din. ```

Thy wisdom


Thy Wisdom fills my heart.

Everything, everywhere,

Present, future, past

I am — and all I bear.

My rapture knows no bounds;

My sombre eyeless dole

Beyond the ken of all.

It is I who build my Goal.

My life's ignorance-dream

I drive toward Thy Will.

I alter now the course

Of my bosom's goalless rill. ```

My secret and sacred bird


My secret and sacred bird now flies

To meet the Spirit's vacancy.

All chaos of life today dissolved;

In me a surge of ecstasy.

Gold flames within my longing heart

Invoke the cosmos' Parent-Sun.

A tapestry of Truth unseen

Bursts forth within; the Play is begun. ```

O Mother sweet


The flowers of love and joy

In my bosom-garden bloom.

To seize Thee, O Mother Sweet,

Oft-times I face my doom.

I seek my refuge in Thee alone,

In Thee my battle of life,

In Thee my welkin, stars and sun,

My heart of joy and strife. ```

The sport


The sport of fruitless infelicity

Captures my mind's ignorance-dream.

Be off, be off, O satisfied desires!

It is you that ruin my quest supreme.

I am the traveller, ignorant of Dawn;

Never, alack, have I tasted Bliss.

Before my heart the dart of eyeless Night;

I am lost in the jaws of boundless Abyss. ```

My life-desert


I want not what I need,

I roam in eyeless Night,

Ignorance sports with me,

With me I ever fight.

The riddle of my life-desert

What soul of Might can solve?

Alack, I am undone!

Before me death-doors revolve. ```

Long lost


My faults are countless, yet

With joy I see the faults of all.

I kindle thus my pyre,

Ever to hear death's constant call.

My soul is far, too far;

In fruitless thoughts of clay I live.

Long lost my mission vast;

In eyeless chasm I now must grieve. ```

If I can


If I can perfect my faith

Thy Grace is sure to come.

The more I give to Thee

The more I absorb Thy Balm

That heals my bosom's pangs.

Without Thy Love supreme,

Nothingness all I am —

A dark and barren dream. ```

My poor and doleful heart


A loafer am I; no thoughts awake my mind.

To lance my drowsy brain, I needs must try.

Ah, sloth is my lot, and yet, my Lord Supreme,

I hope and hope in Thy Sky of Grace to fly.

I shall now kindle my poor and doleful heart

To reach in joy Thy creation's highest height.

No more my ire shall fight with Thee, no more.

My surrender's life dwells far above ego's night. ```

A little more


A little more we desire, a little more.

Our bosom's argent door

Is wide open, O Mother.

Come now, come!

Make us Thy victory's drum.

Thy Will our life of surrender shall declare.

Through us Thou wilt break the snare

Of eyeless, heartless, goalless earth entire,

And change its destiny dire. ```

My thirst


My thirst for Joy supreme

Appeased, and now remain I mute.

My Lord, my Lord Supreme,

My dreams now play with Thy Golden Flute.

I drink with Thee Thy Bliss;

Thy Will, Thy Vision-Sun are mine.

To lift the earth-bound life

Into the skies, my vow divine. ```

My mission


To drive me mad many a man is apt.

To spot my snow-white heart their only choice.

Futile is their outcry; and I must make

My heart sleepless to hear Thy Nectar-Voice.

My love shall be the Noon of burning delight.

I shall now hug earthly ignorance and dole

To feed the human souls with ceaseless might

And lift the earth to show her zenith-goal. ```

My bosom pines


I build castles in the air; the Grace divine

Never descends to cure my doleful heart.

I house wild thoughts; I feed wrong deeds undivine.

I must now shift my mind from the busy mart.

O Peace supreme, for you my bosom pines.

In you alone my will shall meet the One.

Out of harm's way my golden thoughts shall dwell.

My life is growing into my inner Sun. ```

My life welcomes


To be a good altruist is not my aim.

Thy high decree is my only choice august.

All things shall run to waste; but not Thy Grace.

That runs through all our limbs of eyeless dust.

Thy Grace descends; my heart is freedom's bliss,

Never to play with the black and binding clay.

No death can bind my climbing faith divine;

My life welcomes the pride of Eternal Day. ```

The giant gain


My heart of love sheds tears for my searching mind.

Its effort to cure the mind now ends in vain.

With flaming words my mind to awaken I try.

Alas, my failure the devil's giant gain. ```

They frown


They frown at me when I wander and dote.

For strength above I look, within I look.

To breathe vengeance is to kill Thy solar Law,

Therefore all evils of earth I needs must brook. ```

I am not


No, I am not ahead of all;

Neither behind all souls, I know.

My sense of worth tortures my mind.

With me my bleeding heart's ceaseless flow. ```

My solace


O Lord of my love, Your ruthless absence has now

Broken asunder my feeble heart.

No cure!

My pride august is exiled in oblivion's cave.

The dance of utter ruin is my solace sure.


His Feet I kiss


The King of my heart today is come,

His Feet I kiss with blissful eyes.

For Him my heart, my soul, my all,

His Feet of Light my paradise.

I shed my tears of love and joy

To see and know His secret Play.

His Love is power of boundless realms,

In Him must shine my mind of Day.

His victory through me He will announce;

Through me He will change the poverty dire

Of nether land and eyeless earth.

My zenith-goal His Love of fire. ```

My sacrifice


I nothing want but my all to give.

My sacrifice ends not in vain.

A sweet return I know shall come

When I am above all loss and gain.

All pure souls into one must fuse.

True Love shall only then be known.

The Golden Gate that hides

The One reveals His wealth, His own.

Undying desires of man

His high and Golden Goal do vend.

Thus does he fail to dwell

In boundless Immortality, his End. ```

Doubt we drink


We sport with doubt,

And thus our strength we kill.

Ah, doubt the poison

We drink in utter thrill.

Our ego shows

Our heart the path of lies,

And leads us all

Where eyeless darkness flies. ```

The life immortal


The life immortal must

Be this life of ours.

Limitless progress, Joy

Must feed our hours.

The selfless Will that knows

No feeble fears

Is our only guide and Eye

To end our tears. ```

Desires of mine


Desires of mine

Limit my possibility.

They allow me not

To hasten my Lord's Infinity.

The darkness blind

In secret covers my Knowledge-Sun.

Alas, in me

The game of death has now begun. ```

To give to Thee


To give to Thee

Many a thing have I,

But of Thee I need

Thy golden wings to fly.

The sod of my thoughts

Through my offering-light

Transforms its pangs,

Transforms its bondage-night. ```

Our fruitless longings


Our fruitless longings never know

What danger great they hug.

They ever are fond of barren things;

In them, alas, our graves are dug.

O acts that lead us all to Night,

Today once feel our power.

No one remains ever in hell;

In all abides God's Hour. ```

The bird of peace


The bird of peace in me abides;

The distant Sun

Embraces its wings with matchless bliss.

My play is begun.

The Unborn is born within my heart.

The pangs of earth

Now reach my life's delight extreme,

My Golden birth. ```

My mind is the guide


My mind is the Guide,

Hence down I fall.

Desires and thoughts

Make me a ball.

With me they play

From morn to eve.

Attachment flies

In me; I heave

A sigh in vain.

This truth I know:

If I on Thee

Depend, Thou wilt sow

The seed of Fire

In my blind misery.

Lord, with all

My faults, seize me. ```



O Mother, come, do come.

My sleepless loving heart shall bow.

Thy Feet that shake the world

Shall be my only choice from now.

My slumber pines to-day

To hear Thy stern and unique voice.

Do conquer, Mother sweet,

My haughty mind's deafening noise.

Thou art the source of all,

In Thee abides my promised Hour,

To fulfil my soul's desire

Thy Feet of love, O Mother of Power. ```

All-presence am I


Although I dwell in poverty,

Matchless all joy of mine remains.

Upon my heart His Bounty rains

From His flame-white Eternity.

To none I show my teeming thoughts,

My trance is seen by me alone.

My heart shall never tremble or moan;

All-presence am I, in me no noughts. ```



Onward, upward my heart proceeds.

I, the finite, perceive the One.

His soulful boundless Heart of Love

Awakes my bosom's inner Sun.

Impossible deeds of yore to-day

Have reached their lofty wonder-goals.

My heart is changed, my world is changed,

I love all souls and own all souls.

I inspire the world to forget its woe,

I long for its inner cry to increase,

The far no more remains afar;

Now fast approaches my mind's release. ```

To blot out the past


To blot out the past from my bosom's tablet firm

Ever I try in vain.

The past a burden to all my longings pure,

Silent is my Knowledge-main.

Its golden waves that bear the thrill unknown

I never see and feel.

I fight and fight with Dragon Night,

Long lost my Spirit's thrill. ```

No end


No end to my fruitless dreams;

I build in me my heaven sweet.

O binding and blinding life,

Never for you my Beloved's Feet. ```

I see Thy golden wings


I see Thy golden wings

That shelter all our souls.

I see Thy Luster-Heart

That feeds our earthly roles. ```

O Sun unplumbed


O Sun unplumbed!

O Father, Comrade sweet!

Thy sweetness vast now tortures me, my heart.

My heart's glowing gates no more invite

The teeming doubts and brooding fears of earth.

The truth of Joy within, without me flies.

The Voice that speaks within the core of the Sun

Shall love and fulfil my secret and sacred choice.

In Matter's body dawns the Spirit's Height.


I smile for Thee


I smile for Thee, but where art Thou?

I weep for Thee, but where art Thou?

All contraries of my sorry life

To Thee I offer; to Thee I bow.

Wilt Thou remain beyond my reach?

Even beyond the reach of my love?

No, never art Thou very far.

I am Thy Heart, I am Thy Dove. ```

Of what is made Thy heart?


When stars and moon are mute in trance

My bosom pines for Thee.

My love for Thee smashes my pride

Of dumb eternity.

I hear at times Thy golden flute,

But beyond my reach Thou art.

My sacrifice in vain will end.

Of what is made Thy Heart? ```

Our thoughts


Nothing is sweet, but bitter all.

Of woe the world is made.

Our thoughts, a bed of naked thorns;

In us a sombre shade. ```

My vital and my mind


Inside a field of thorns am I.

To quit its grasp in vain I try.

My vital wild and my drowsy mind

Are daily fed by Ignorance blind. ```

My inner race


O Lord, Thy Smile serene

Remains to me unseen.

Yet every hope of mine

Calls Thee, Solace divine.

My sorrow none to share,

No soul for me to care.

I have lost my inner race.

Nowhere shall I see Thy Face. ```

How long am I to wait?


How long am I to wait, how long,

To see the golden Child

Who sports ever in my sky-breast

To fulfil my longings mild?

The fight of life is dire I know.

Yet His victory's dawn is sure.

He thinks little of danger, death;

His smile my only cure. ```

To-day my human mind


To-day my human mind is fearless, calm.

To-day my heartbeats sing His Song divine.

In me I find the nectar of lucid dreams.

I shine in all; all souls in me now shine.

We all are truly greater than acts of ours.

We are the fond and deathless Will of the One.

All spotless thoughts abide within our minds;

All trifling deeds with ease of heart we shun. ```

From:Sri Chinmoy,My first friendship with the Muse, Sri Chinmoy Lighthouse, New York, 1973
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