Nowadays when I am with my family members, they will not allow me to touch their feet. My aunt is ninety-seven and a half years old. They are praying in our family that she will be able to observe her centenary. Four or five years ago when I went to visit, her daughter said, “Can you imagine? Chinmoy has become so proud that he does not bow to you.”
My aunt said, “Oh no, no, he did!”
Her daughter asked, “When?”
My aunt said, “He did bow already.”
My cousin said, “He is your nephew. How many times over the years you have blessed him! What is wrong with him that he cannot touch your feet?”
My aunt said, “Oh no, I cannot bless him.”
My cousin asked, “Why not?”
My aunt said, “I cannot bless him. He is not the same person.”
Last year when I went, as soon as she heard my voice she was so happy. I did not wait for her to ask me; I put my hands on her head and blessed her most powerfully. She was so thrilled that I was blessing her. All my life she had blessed me. Now she was so excited that I was blessing her.
Sri Chaitanya knew when he was in a high consciousness, when he had become one with Lord Krishna. Again, at times he lost that oneness. When he lost his oneness with Lord Krishna, he would cry and cry and cry to get back that consciousness. But when he became inseparably one with Sri Krishna, he would cry, “Mother, Mother, come and touch my feet.” The son asked his physical mother to touch his feet! He knew that, at that time, he was not himself; he was one with Lord Krishna. Lord Krishna told him to ask his mother to come and be blessed.
Sri Aurobindo’s father-in-law was an old man, many years older than Sri Aurobindo. The father-in-law is supposed to be respected. His daughter died on the train on the way from Calcutta to Pondicherry, when she was going to be with Sri Aurobindo. Alone the father-in-law came. When he saw Sri Aurobindo, he touched Sri Aurobindo’s feet.
FSC 1. 5 September 1997, Warsaw, Poland↩
When I went to the Ashram in 1933, I was screaming and crying. My cousin used to look after me so that my mother could see Sri Aurobindo. In 1936 when I came, Sri Aurobindo did not want to see anybody, but I would see the Mother at four o’clock. In 1940 when I came, at that time I was allowed to see the Mother. In 1941, I was allowed to see Sri Aurobindo also. In 1944 when I came, the Mother remained in trance. But when I approached, the Mother’s eyes were wide open. When I came near Sri Aurobindo, the Mother introduced me by saying, “Chinmoy, Hriday’s youngest brother.” While the Mother was saying this, I got a push from the guards. They would not allow me to stay. At that moment the Mother was introducing me to Sri Aurobindo, but Sri Aurobindo’s guards would not allow me to remain because of the time. We could not stay in front of Sri Aurobindo for more than three or four seconds!
FSC 2. 5 September 1997, Warsaw, Poland↩
In 1947 or 1948, he was a great boxer. He was a Bengal boxing champion, but he gave up his boxing. He became director of physical education at the Ashram. The whole athletic programme of the Ashram we owe to him, because he is the one who inspired the Mother.
Sri Aurobindo was not interested in physical fitness, but the Mother saw that people were falling sick even at the age of twenty-five, so she requested Pranab to serve as a physical trainer. Hundreds and thousands of people he inspired.
FSC 3. 23 September 1997, Sri Chinmoy's home, Jamaica, New York↩
Seven times I practised driving Pulak’s car. Once while parking, I dashed against a pole. Another time I did not feel it, but everyone said I had not only touched the curb, I had gone a few inches over the curb. Two or three times I parked very, very well.
One teacher asked all the eight driving students what they would do with enough money to buy a nice car. I said, “I will buy a simple car.”
She asked me, “What will you do with the rest?”
I said, “I will give it to charity.”
Then she sneered at me and said, “First I will see if I faint!” During the examination, one question I did not understand. The examiner was two metres away and I said I could not understand. She said to me, “I do not speak to people.”
Out of twenty-five questions, I got twenty-three correct.
When I was driving to Father Tom’s place, which takes forty minutes on the highway, Pulak told me to make a right turn. I was all ready to turn. Then he said, “I meant a left turn.”
Once Pulak made a left turn into a one-way street when three cars were all ready to come out from that street! Luckily there was a red light. How much he gets his Guru’s protection!
FSC 4. 23 September 1997, Sri Chinmoy's home, Jamaica, New York↩
Again, I had a mentor who was dearer than the dearest. He was absolutely sure that I had been his Master in this incarnation! When his Master passed on, this mentor came to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram and became Sri Aurobindo’s disciple. He was absolutely sure that I had been his first Guru. He loved me, and I always basked in the sunshine of his affection, sweetness and fondness. If anybody said anything unkind about me, that person would have a serious problem with my mentor! If anybody criticised me, my mentor would throw a book or magazine at him — whatever he had in his hand.
When this particular critic saw my dearest mentor, he would always make fun of me or say something unkind, and my mentor would become furious. Whatever was in his hand, he would throw at that fellow.
In the early days we printed my Transcendental Photograph in our books. When my mentor saw my Transcendental Photograph in one of my books, he could not stop showing it to people. He could not restrain himself from showing the Transcendental Photograph to that fellow in the street. He was fully prepared. If my so-called enemy said something unkind, then my mentor would throw the book right at him.
But what happened? When he saw the picture, my detractor looked at it and bowed to it most sincerely and most devotedly. Then he said, “Here, Chinmoy is not a man; here he is God.” He bowed to the Transcendental Photograph very sincerely and devotedly and said to my mentor, “I am bowing to this picture. Here he is not a human being. Here he is God. I am bowing to the God in Sri Chinmoy, but not to Chinmoy.” My mentor said that, in this way, that fellow accepted my divinity.
This is the power of my Transcendental Photograph!
FSC 5. 5 November 1997, P.S. 86, Jamaica, New York↩
A new book has come out: Part 2 of Amusement I Enjoy; Enlightenment I Study. These are amusing stories and enlightening stories. My driving stories also will give both amusement and enlightenment.
This time all glory goes to Maral for my driver’s licence. It was his car that enabled me to pass the examination. Others also helped considerably. Pulak’s car a few times I have also used.
Today I received a letter from our first Virendra, the boy who originally taught me to drive. He has heard from Hiyamallar in California that I have got a licence again. A most devoted letter he has written to me.
I have learnt so many things from Pulak, only I do not want to practise them. But he is so kind and compassionate. Always, always he is willing to serve me. In the finite he teaches me the message of the Infinite. If I request him to do something, he does it.
Yesterday Pulak was driving me to Madal Bal Bakery. When we came to Union Turnpike, instead of taking the right lane, because we would be making a right turn, he very nicely took the left lane. I asked him, “Pulak, what are you doing?”
He said, “Guru, do you see something?”
I said, “What? Why are you taking the left lane?”
Pulak said, “Guru, did you see how devotedly she bowed to you?” Then he showed me that a disciple driving in the right lane had stopped, and very devotedly, two or three times she bowed to me with folded hands. She received my blessings. She was in the right lane, and she was about to make a right turn. Pulak was in the left lane, and he was also about to make a right turn. If Pulak had been behind her, she would not have seen us. So it was destined that I would get most devoted pranams from this disciple and she would receive my blessings.
In this way, Pulak’s driving mistake was a blessing. Every time he drives me, I learn something!
FSC 6. 5 November 1997, P.S. 86, Jamaica, New York↩
How many times I asked about some of the slower runners — at thirteen miles, at nineteen miles and at other places. I waited for them for a long time. I did not see them at all. But they finished — very good! Again, some were even slower. There will always be someone to smash our pride!
How I wish that in this lifetime I could complete another marathon! I walk fifty metres this way and fifty metres that way — that is enough for me.
FSC 7. 5 November 1997, P.S. 86, Jamaica, New York↩
They always make a sacrifice. I deeply appreciate it.
FSC 8. 5 November 1997, P.S. 86, Jamaica, New York↩
My prophecy! Once I said that some day some runners would run the marathon in under two hours. A divine force spoke through me. Alas, something always reminds me inwardly. Again, while facing the Berlin Wall, I prophesied that in twenty-five years the Wall would be demolished and there would be one Berlin. In just two years, President Gorbachev fulfilled my desire! With regard to the marathon, God knows when it will happen; but still I maintain the same desire and the same promise that one day somebody will come, perhaps from Africa, to do it. It is not an impossible task.
One mile in under four minutes was a dream, and Roger Bannister manifested the dream. Now, how many people have run a mile in under four minutes? Someone has run in 3:44. When Roger Bannister ran in just under four minutes, the whole world adored him. Now someone has run two miles in under eight minutes. It is unimaginable! Like that we can do many things.
How I wish some of our disciples could run the marathon under 2:15! There is a Russian disciple who is an excellent runner. I do hope he can run under 2:15 one day.
FSC 9. 5 November 1997, P.S. 86, Jamaica, New York↩
FSC 10. 5 November 1997, Sri Chinmoy's home, Jamaica, New York↩
The poet who wrote Tomari hok joy for the Mother was with the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. Later I set his words to music. The Mother was very kind to that poet. She gave him the inspiration and the capacity to write such beautiful poems. The Mother was very, very kind to him, but on a certain day she expressed some displeasure. He said that he suffered for years because of that one-day experience. Then he said he counted how many times the Mother had given him the brighter than the brightest smile and all her affection. He wrote down all the times the Mother was nice to him. Finally, with the Mother’s smile and the Mother’s affection he was able to conquer that experience.
One unhappy experience of the Mother’s displeasure he had, and for years it lasted. After such a long time his recollection of the Mother’s pleasure, the Mother’s happiness and the Mother’s pride in him conquered that experience.
FSC 11. 5 December 1997, Nassau, Bahamas↩
In my talk at Cambridge, I mentioned that I used to meditate in Sri Aurobindo’s room. There I had personal experiences. There were two or three very important incidents in my life. Only four or five persons knew about them, and one of them is still alive. He is my friend.
During my last visit to the Ashram I was meditating only a metre away from Sri Aurobindo’s bed and his statue. I was standing. I could not bend because of my knee problem. With folded hands, very seriously, I went very high. One guard came up to me and opened up my palm. He put two flowers in my hands. This particular guard never saw me meditating in Sri Aurobindo’s room in my younger years, but the other guard had seen me many times. When the first guard came and gave me two flowers, the second guard came from the other side and put another flower in my hands. So I got three flowers, while I was meditating very seriously. They blessed me with flowers! This is their affection.
FSC 12. 5 December 1997, Nassau, Bahamas↩
He asked, “What kind of weapon was it?”
I said, “It was very powerful.”
Again he asked, “What was it?”
I said, “You know that the Mother said one thing and I said something else. We had a wonderful disagreement. Finally the Mother wrote to someone in red ink, ‘Tell Chinmoy that I am still his Divine Mother.’ That weapon really killed me! That weapon was too difficult for me to fight against. I shed tears.”
In this particular story, after I came to America, the Mother wrote to an Ashram member in New York, “When you see Chinmoy next time, show this to him.” That was in ordinary black or blue ink. But in red ink she wrote, “Tell Chinmoy that I am still his Divine Mother.” That was the Mother’s weapon that conquered me.
FSC 13. 5 December 1997, Nassau, Bahamas↩
After leaving India, Netaji became extremely popular almost overnight, although in India he was not so popular. This man was his compatriot. He could have become a great Minister, but he gave up his political life and joined the spiritual life. He had tremendous faith in Sri Aurobindo.
Sri Aurobindo said to him, “We have only one Bengal. There should be no East and no West.” That was Sri Aurobindo’s dream. The disciple wanted to leave the Ashram and unite the two Bengals, East and West.
The Mother told him not to go, but he left. Because he did not listen to the Mother, he quoted an Indian proverb: “How can a thief listen to religious discourses?” He compared himself to a thief!
FSC 14. 5 December 1997, Nassau, Bahamas↩
Finally, the man who introduced me said, “Sri Chinmoy comes from Bengal, Indiana.”
I still remember that occasion!
FSC 15. 13 January 1998, Lawn of the Piramides Hotel, Cancun, Mexico↩
The occultist’s mother was with him, and he asked his mother to cook. His mother said, “At eleven o’clock people will not come. It is impossible!” The son said, “Mother, please cook. Otherwise, I am going to cook. They are coming here for my advice. Either you cook or I am going to cook, because I can see they are hungry. They are coming here for my advice.” This occultist had tremendous respect for my father.
The mother cooked, and at around eleven o’clock my father came for his advice. At eleven o’clock the son said, “I can see them. They are coming.”
My brother Chitta and my maternal uncle’s son were both in a Chittagong hospital. My father went to my occultist-uncle for my brother, because he was worried, and my maternal uncle went for his son, because he was worried. The occultist lived in the village and my brother and my cousin were in the Chittagong hospital. What happened?
My occultist-uncle gave my father a handful of ash. He said, "Doctors! You do not have worry. He will be all right. Just put this on his head.”
To my maternal uncle he said, “God is also inside doctors. The doctors will be able to cure your son, so do not worry.”
My father put the ash on my brother’s forehead, and my brother was cured. The other fellow, whom my uncle had said the doctor’s medicine would cure, died. The occultist told my father not to use medicine. He said, “I am giving you Mother Kali’s ash, so do not use medicine any more.” My brother is still alive, and our cousin is gone.
Once more I am telling a story about my uncle’s occult power. Another uncle was very undivine. My father used to support him, because he was a vagabond. My father gave him money to open up a store. He did not do well. He did not care for business. My father once wrote to him saying that we would always support him, and if anything went wrong with the shop, then my father would save him. He exploited us in every way! He ruined the business. Then he sued my father for not keeping his promise.
Now my father was in serious trouble. This uncle had exploited my father’s compassion. The case went to the court. They had the letter signed by my father. My father’s lawyer was denying that my father was responsible, but the letter was with the other party, so what could he do?
My mother went to my other uncle, the occultist, in Chittagong. He said, “Do not worry. Everything will be all right.” My mother had such faith in him.
The lawyer of the opposing party was so happy that he had the letter with my father’s signature, saying that he would be responsible if anything went wrong with the business. Very happily and proudly the lawyer of the opposing party gave the letter to the judge. The judge read out everything, but the signature was not there! Everything was in order; it was my father’s handwriting, but there was no signature. The judge showed the letter to my father.
They asked my father to sign his name. My father was very smart. He signed his name in a totally different way.
The strange thing was that the signature had been there, but the occultist removed it. From an Indian village he removed the signature! He did not even know where the high court was; he just used his occult power and erased my father’s signature completely.
These things happened in our family, so you can see what an occultist can do.
Ten thousand years ago a spiritual Master had a sister. The doctors said that she had tuberculosis. The family was in a state of terrible shock, because in that family two persons had already died of tuberculosis.
The whole family was suffering. When they told the spiritual Master, the spiritual Master said, “Do not worry. In ten or twelve days she will be all right.” Then the spiritual Master said to his sister that he would bring her back to the hospital and ask the same doctors to examine her.
After ten or twelve days the sister went with her brother to the hospital, and two doctors examined her. They examined her a second time, and they could not believe that all signs of tuberculosis had disappeared. Just a few days earlier they had seen the disease clearly, and they said it was definitely tuberculosis. But now those tuberculosis germs had all disappeared.
I can remember what happened in the spiritual Master’s life ten thousand years ago. I have many, many, many stories. These things happened in our family, so everybody knows, everybody knows.
One evening another sister was unable to see. Everything was hazy. I was at that time fourteen or fifteen years old. I said, “Do not worry.” I massaged her eyes, only to make her completely blind! I had told her not to worry!
My aunt, who is now ninety-seven and a half years old, insulted me and scolded me to her heart’s content for what I had done. But my sister was extremely kind, compassionate and affectionate towards me. She did not find fault with me, although my family members scolded me. For two days she was absolutely blind. Then they wanted to take her to the hospital. I said, “Wait! I will not allow you to go to the hospital. Since I am the culprit, I will cure her.”
At that time I put my palms over her eyes. I did not massage her eyes — absolutely nothing of the sort. I gave back her vision completely; she regained the vision that she had. For two days she was blind and I was the culprit, but I gave her vision back.
God alone knows why I happened to be there the evening that she was not able to see well and she was worrying, and why I became the culprit and made her completely blind by massaging her eyes. God alone knows, God alone knows. Occult power I do use. This kind of thing happens.
The stories about my uncle’s occult power are absolutely true. In an obscure Indian village he used occult power. Then some people from Calcutta went to East Bengal. They heard about him, and they brought him to Calcutta. They would ask him questions. He was illiterate to the extreme. When he answered questions, sometimes he would use the Chittagong dialect. Villagers could understand him, but Calcutta people would think his language was totally wrong. How would they understand our Chittagong dialect?
Once this uncle used an ordinary word, “broom,” from the pure Chittagong dialect, and then some Chittagong ladies who happened to be present started laughing, because that word only someone from Chittagong would know. They were laughing and laughing, but he used the word so many times that the Calcutta people started repeating it as a mantra. The Bengali word and the Chittagong word were totally different. He used the Chittagong word, and the Calcutta people did not know it. Since he used it four or five times, they started repeating it again and again and again. And the ladies from Chittagong were such rogues! They were laughing because that word does not exist in proper Bengali. The Master used the word so many times that his devotees thought it was a very spiritual word, and they started repeating and repeating it. That kind of blind faith they had!
That uncle of mine did not want to marry. But his parents stood against him, and they forced him to marry. In those days the couple was brought from one village to another in village style, on a palanquin. On the way he said he had to heed nature’s call, and he disappeared. He did not go home. His poor wife — where would she go? Would she go back to her father’s place, or to her new father-in-law’s place? She cried and cried and cried. Finally they brought her back to her parents’ place, because she did not want to go to her father-in-law’s place. That was how the marriage ended.
While he was alive, this uncle did not keep any connection with his wife because the marriage was, let us say, annulled. But the funniest thing happened after he left the body. Some of his devotees felt that they needed someone to guide them. His wife did not follow the spiritual life at all. After he left her, she was in her own world and he was in his own world. But after this uncle’s passing, his devotees begged and begged the wife to be with them.
What did they do? Look at their faith! They brought her from her village to Calcutta, and they put a picture of their Master next to her. They said, “You do not have to do anything. Only stay in our temple; we shall give you everything. He accepted you. You were with him for a few hours on the palanquin, and the marriage was settled.” In this way they begged her and forced her to come to Calcutta, and they gave her a place to live.
The devotees turned this woman to the spiritual life. She became spiritual! How? Through the faith of the devotees. Look at the devotees! She was upset because her husband had behaved so badly to her, but how good his disciples were! They brought her to their place and they turned her towards the spiritual life.
This occultist’s name was Tara Charan — “The Feet of Mother Kali.” Tara is one of the names of Mother Kali.
FSC 16. 13 January 1998, Lawn of the Piramides Hotel, Cancun, Mexico↩
I went to one of the main forts of Shivaji. The steps were like this, but steeper. I walked up and ran down!
FSC 17. 14 January 1998, Bus from Cancun to Merida Mexico↩
We ate our dinner and came out only to see a fight going on in the street. I will never forget!
FSC 18. 14 January 1998, Merida, Mexico↩
Ila, how is it that you do not join our races? You were running so fast! And poor Nirvik, what was he doing?
FSC 19. 14 January 1998, Merida, Mexico↩
She is my England-manifestation.
With our heart’s infinite love and infinite gratitude, we are invoking our beloved, divinely beloved, supremely beloved Bhavani’s soul. Let us chant her name with our heart’s infinite love and infinite gratitude.
A supremely precious soul, supremely precious soul, supremely precious soul. A supremely precious child in the Heart of our Absolute Lord Beloved Supreme. She will now be able to serve our mission infinitely more than she did here on earth. She is in another room, where she can see us and we can feel her. With our human eyes we cannot see her, but with our heart we can feel her living presence in our living presence.
Please join me in singing Phire chalo — “The soul has returned to its celestial abode, where Infinity’s Delight it is enjoying.” Then we shall sing He partha sarathi.
Everyone was crying for Bhavani. Bhavani’s soul came and looked at her Master and said, “What is this? What is all this?”
She was laughing and smiling! Her laughing was more powerful than her smiling. She could not understand why we were crying for her. She is so happy. This kind of happiness you enjoy once you enter into the soul and become the soul-consciousness. Here we were reciting and chanting her name, and she was laughing and laughing! She said,
“What is this? What is this?”
Again, on the human level, it is such a loss, a loss, a loss! Her last contributions to our mission were in the British Parliament and in Cambridge.
Now we must continue — we must never give up, never give up, never give up!
FSC 20. 26 December 2000, Sedona Hotel, Mandalay, Myanmar↩
Then, at ten o’clock in the morning, I went to see the Mother of the Ashram. When I saw her tears, she took away my job! I did not have to cry. In the spiritual world, there is someone who feels our loss much more than we do.
On the human level, when we lose our dearest ones, how we suffer! Even now, how much I suffer in the human way. In the divine way I can always see my brothers and sisters. At any moment they can come to me. But when the human in me thinks of my sister Lily, there is not a single day when I do not think of which bed she occupied the first time I went to see her in the nursing home, and which bed she occupied the second and third times. Immediately, the very first thing I recall when I think of my sister Lily is which bed she lay in.
If we love someone, the human link remains so powerful, and at the same time so painful and heartbreaking. Then the divine comes to the fore and tries to tell us, “Forget about it! It is all bondage, all bondage!” But as long as we are in the human form, we suffer and suffer if we really love the person.
Our Bhavani is so fond of these two sons of hers! When the mother dies, the whole world dies. The father is all greatness, but the mother is all intimacy. When the father dies, we think of his greatness. When the mother dies, the whole world collapses.
I spoke to my Kaivalya in London, over the phone, for about fifteen or twenty minutes. We consoled each other.
FSC 21. 26 December 2000, Sedona Hotel, Mandalay, Myanmar↩
Let me see the depth of your smile! If the Master is sincere and the Master says that Bhavani is the happiest soul, then you have to believe in the sincerity of the Master. Bhavani is unimaginably happy. When she is unimaginably happy, we can take that approach. We always say that the Happiness of the Supreme is our happiness. Bhavani is now inseparably identified with the Happiness of the Supreme. Such being the case, we should take the positive side.
Physically we do not see many things. Can I see Rome from here with my eyes? No. But I do know that Rome exists. Similarly, with our spiritual heart we can feel; with our spiritual eyes we can see. The Master is the bridge between the physical and the spiritual. When we live inside the Master’s heart, immediately we go to the other side of the bridge. Then we see how sincere and how right the Master is. Bhavani is in the other room. Just because we cannot enter into the other room, we cannot say that that room does not exist. If we have faith in someone who tells us that that room exists, then we become happy.
All the things that Bhavani expected from her husband and her children must be done, with infinitely more seriousness and eagerness. Now, Kaivalya, you have to prove to your better half or worse half that you really loved her. And if you two boys really loved your mother, you have to prove it through your actions. She loved you; you loved her. Now prove, through your own actions, that you really loved her. She loved you; she still loves you. From your example you also have to prove that you loved her, you are still loving her and you will always love her.
Yes, the human in us breaks, but the human in us is meant to surrender to the divine in us. If the divine in us surrenders to the human in us, then we will remain in the animal world or even in the mineral world. But just because the human in us has to surrender today or tomorrow, or ultimately, at that time we become inseparably one with our Lord Absolute Beloved Supreme. It is very painful, but this pain has to be transformed into happiness.
When I was reading Sahadeva’s letter about his mother, I was shedding tears of joy and love and pride. Tears can be devastating. But when I was reading Sahadeva’s letter, I was so moved, unimaginably moved. I had tears of joy, tears of love and tears of pride. Page after page it was only the songs of his heart. Sometimes a haunting song can be very painful, but there is so much sweetness inside the pain.
Earthly pain is meant for transformation. The pain that you are feeling is devastating. But then, to the same degree, you have to transform it into happiness. Anything that is painful we have to transform absolutely into nectar-delight. Then, when we transform it into nectar-delight, we become really one with God’s Will. Otherwise, life is always a sad failure. But we are not going to accept life as failure. We are all divine soldiers. We are the proudest soldiers of our Lord Supreme, so nothing is a failure in our life. Everything has to be success, success and success. This success is the Supreme’s Success in our life. We have to go forward.
When my brother Chitta passed away, the human in me was absolutely devastated. I could hardly walk. And what was he doing? He was only scolding me with the mantra, “Go forward, go forward!” I was walking a mile, and at each step he was scolding me: “Go forward! Can you not see how happy I am?”
That was one side of Chitta. Then, when I went forward and became one with him, he fell at my feet and prostrated himself, because he knows who I am. When I show my human side, he scolds me: "Go forward! Are you blind? Are you deaf?” I was on the street in Pondicherry, and he was scolding me. Then, while I was coming back, I was meditating, and I saw his soul right at my feet, touching and kissing the dust of my feet. He saw the difference between the human and the divine. When I was in the physical consciousness, he scolded me so powerfully because he did not want me to suffer for him even for a second.
In New York, when Ranjana’s Bhajan group was singing songs about Chitta, where did I see him? His picture was above me, but at that time his head was right at my feet. He saw my divinity. Again, when he saw that I was acting like an ordinary human being crying for him, he scolded me: “Go forward, go forward!”
Just the other day when I was meditating on you, Kaivalya, how many times Bhavani was saying to you, “You are a fool, you are a fool!” Those were her exact words. You may find it difficult to believe, but you have to believe it! Towards the very end of our meditation, she was telling you to use your heart-power. You have a very good heart. I entered into your heart, and so much intensity and power I showered upon your heart! How much intensity Bhavani’s soul was giving me to give to you! Her soul was telling me to put intensity into your heart. How many times she told me! But, alas, your ears were sealed. She was saying, “You are a fool! Be one with my happiness.”
I am telling you this from the divine point of view, from the pure spiritual point of view. From the human point of view, you can see that there are tears in my eyes as I am talking to you. When I identify myself with you, immediately there are tears in my eyes. But again, there is another place where I can go, upstairs, and I just run there. I go up to save myself! Otherwise, in a human way, God has given me more capacity to suffer than anybody else on earth. It is absolutely true. When your sons were meditating with me two weeks ago, and I gave them the news about their mother’s passing, they saw that I was absolutely swimming in the sea of tears. Again, I was consoling them. I was giving them a lecture! The divine in me was telling them the divine truth, but they saw how the human in me was suffering. But the human in me always has to surrender to the divine.
When I take the human side, I am absolutely sincere. When I take the divine side, I am absolutely sincere. But I know that the human has to be transformed into the divine. Otherwise, our life shall remain eternally a failure. Then there will be no link. Life is here; death is there. The life-vessel is smashed into pieces. But from the divine point of view, we can say that God used the vessel to cook here for some time. Now He has taken it to another room to cook there. It is the same vessel. When we have a free access, we say, “God is now cooking in the other room.”
Some spiritual Masters do not show or cannot show their human side. But I feel that the human side has to be shown. You are swimming in the sea of tears. You have lost your dearest one. You can see that I jump into that sea of tears, and at the same time I tell you that I have the capacity to bring you to the shore. This is what I am doing.
The human in me absolutely suffers when somebody dies. I know what kind of loss you have suffered. I have gone through the same thing. Your father went to the pharmacy, and by the time he came back, your mother had passed away. In my case, my brother Chitta entered into our house with my dearest friend’s wife. My dearest friend’s wife was coming to get news from him. Chitta put down a bag of fruit, and then he fell down and died. My brother Mantu was only thirty metres behind him. What could be done? Similarly, my eldest brother talked and talked with our family for such a long time. Then he went to meditate. He sat down in front of his shrine, and there he died.
You are super-super-champions in acting. I would like you, father included, to participate in our plays here on the Christmas Trip. Life is a play. In a play it can be very painful when somebody dies. At that time, others identify themselves with you when you are acting as the loved ones. They get joy that you have played your part so well. Always we have to take life in that way.
You have become spiritual. When we become spiritual, the human in us either today or tomorrow eventually will surrender. Once again I wish to say that if the divine in us surrenders to the human in us, then God will remain an eternal failure. But God gives us a chance to prepare the human in us for forty, fifty, sixty or even one hundred years. During this time we have to be so careful to take the human in us again and again and again, at every moment, to the divine. Then only life will have some meaning. Otherwise, we shall only suffer loss.
We have to feel that the Supreme loves our dearest ones infinitely more than we do. I am telling you a story. Many years ago I went to a dentist. The dentist was impossible, but he told me a very important story. There were two brothers who had not accepted the spiritual life. They were dearer than the dearest to each other. Twenty-four hours a day they were together. When one brother passed away, the dentist asked the other one, “Are you not feeling sad? You look so happy! That means you were insincere in your behaviour towards your brother.”
The surviving brother said, “No, I am extremely sincere. Although I do not care for God or for the spiritual life, I know there is Somebody who loves my brother infinitely more than I loved him. I loved him, and he loved me. But there is Someone who loves him infinitely more than I loved him. He has gone to that Person. You can say it is God or somebody else. There will always be Someone who loves my brother infinitely more than I do, and he has gone to that Person.”
In your case also, you can try to say, “There is Someone who loves my mother infinitely more than I can ever love her. My capacity is incapacity. How much can I love someone? But there is Somebody who does far better than I do in offering love. Even in the human life, there are people who far surpass me in any field. In the divine world, will there not then be Someone who will do much better than I do? I love my mother, true. But there is Somebody who loves my mother infinitely more. And who is that? That is our Father.”
When the daughter is with the Father Supreme, will the Father’s Love not be infinitely more divine than our human love? Just think of your human capacity and your divine capacity, which is love, devotion and surrender. When you offer your divine love, when you offer your devotion and when you offer your surrender, do you not think that you are at that time infinitely, infinitely stronger than you are on the human level? When we offer our love, devotion and surrender to the Supreme, at that time our strength is immeasurable. Again, when we do not offer our divine love, devotion and surrender, we are useless. Anybody can defeat us in any field of life.
Please try to feel that there is Someone whose capacity far exceeds our capacity. We are spiritual people. We have accepted the spiritual life. For us there is God, there is the Supreme. We have to say to ourselves, “He who loves my mother, my wife, infinitely more than I do, does He not deserve to have her? Do we deserve her the way He deserves her?” Again, the Supreme is not saying, “I will keep her only — I will never take you.” No, tomorrow the time will come for Him to take you. He said that now was the time for your mother, for your wife, so He took her now. Tomorrow, when our time comes, he will take us also.
When we suffer the loss of a dear one, in the beginning the human in us kills us. We have millions of reminiscences: “My God, how sweet, how kind and compassionate she was.” Then again, we reproach ourselves: “Oh, so many times I did not listen to her. I did not have a chance to please her.” But when we accept the spiritual life, we have to forget about those things. Our dear one does not hold anything against us. Once she becomes the soul, she forgets how many times the children did not listen to her. She is only thinking, “I do hope that now my children will listen to me, because I poured light into them.”
Again, please feel always that there is a Supreme Father who loves your wife, your mother, infinitely, infinitely more than we can love her. We are not fooling ourselves by taking this approach; we are only bringing our wisdom to the fore.
Today I would like to give everybody four items of prasad in honour of Bhavani, with my heart’s infinite love and infinite gratitude to her. I know how dear she was and how dear she will eternally remain to us. We shall not speak of her in the past tense; it is the eternal tense — past, present and future. Still I am an Indian, and the traditional Indian way is to give fruits after the passing of a dear one. I want to give you all four kinds of fruits in honour of our dearest Bhavani.
FSC 22. 9 January 2001, Putri Bali Hotel, Bali, Indonesia↩
This morning I saw an elderly lady riding a bicycle. A young man driving a motorcycle dashed against her, and she was lying on the ground for two or three minutes, it seemed. Nobody came to her rescue. A policeman was ten metres away, but he just ignored the accident. Finally some people came to help lift her up.
Every second I see clearly that an accident can take place. Everybody feels that he or she is by far the best driver or cyclist. Even if they do not want to value their lives, we must value our own lives. We have the most significant, most meaningful and most fruitful task: we have to fulfil our Beloved Supreme here on earth. We cannot participate in the stone-hearted craziness of such drivers.
20 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
While we are in Phnom Penh, I do not want any disciple of mine to ride a motorbike. First of all, there is such a horrible vibration coming from the motorbikes. As soon as you are on a motorcycle, it is all destruction, destruction. Even the weakest little child thinks that she is the Lord of the entire universe when she is riding a motorbike. Motorcyclists even seem to have such a low opinion of cars. A car can destroy them in no time, but they turn absolutely against the right of way of a car. The vibration of some of the drivers is deplorable. Spirituality means dealing with vibrations.
Please, please, do not take motorcycles. Wherever you want to go, please walk or take a taxi. If three or four disciples go together, then easily you can manage to walk or pay for a taxi. I see that bicycles are at the mercy of motorcycles. And restlessness is not a strong enough word — a destructive feeling I always get from the motorcycles. Motorcyclists are in their own world. There is some poise when one is inside a car, I feel. But when a motorcycle is going by, poise is all gone. At every moment there can be hundreds of accidents. It is very unsafe, very unsafe. The drivers simply do not care. Everything that we consider to be against the law they do. It is very dangerous, very dangerous.
Here there are parks just five or ten minutes away from our hotel. Savyasachi takes me there. They are very, very beautiful places with pools of water, flags and banners. All of you can go there to walk or run. And here at our hotel you have the swimming pool and you have the gym. Why to take risks?
22 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
The other day we made the mistake of turning left where it was not allowed, and we were stopped by the police. Then they harassed us. Afterwards they said, “We will not fine you, but we need money to drink beer. ” Savyasachi gave them one dollar.
Then they said, “But there are four of us, and we all have to drink.”
After a long time Savyasachi gave them two dollars. Then the police disappeared.
Today again a policeman stopped Savyasachi. He showed the policeman his licence. The policeman said, “I am not going to fine you, although you have done something wrong. But my children are very, very poor. Please, please give me some money for my children.”
Savyasachi gave him a dollar. The policeman said, “My friend is also very, very poor. Please give us four dollars or five dollars.”
Savyasachi gave one more dollar. Then he was released. The policeman took the money and went away on his motorcycle. The policeman did not say that he himself was poor, but his children were poor, and his friend was very poor. His friends were all there, and they did not get even a cent from him. This happened just one hour before we met with the Prime Minister.
But these policemen are far better than the police in some other countries. On one of our concert tours, how many times poor Kailash was stopped, stopped while he was driving me! Once or twice they put a revolver to his chest. The local people were allowed to park at a particular place, but Kailash was not allowed. Hundreds of cars were parked, but for Kailash it was not permitted. So many sad stories took place there, right from the moment I arrived at the airport. We have to stage them one day.
24 December 2001 Inter-Continental Hotel Phnom Penh, CambodiaFSC 24. 20 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
Our India’s Princess Mirabai came from the family of Rana. Her relatives were Ranapratap’s family. Mirabai’s husband was also of the Rana family. The greatest devotee, Mirabai, came from Rana.
Just recently I got a book of Mirabai’s songs from Bhutan. Last night I read the English translation of some of Mirabai’s songs. How horrible was the English translation! When people sing her songs in Hindi, it is so charming; but about the English translation, what can I say? When people sing Mirabai’s bhajans in Hindi, they are so devotional — heart-melting, to say the least. They melt your heart, right from the beginning to the end.
When Dilip Roy and the most famous Subbulakshmi used to sing Mirabai’s bhajans, the listeners were absolutely in another world. But when we read this English translation, alas, it is silly, silly, silly.
We have many, many words for “prince.” First comes Rajar dula — the king’s darling. He is the prince. And then there is Yuvaraj — the one who will become the king. He is the eldest son. Whoever is going to get the throne is called Yuvaraj. Rana is the prince, and he got the throne. His father is in China. Riddh is prosperity. I have used his name in my song: Ranariddh. It means that he is the most powerful king, full of prosperity.
FSC 25. 20 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
The artist has really captured the consciousness of Jesus Christ. In Puerto Rico we had a very large reproduction of this painting. It looks one hundred per cent like Jesus Christ.
FSC 26. 24 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
Sri Aurobindo would walk to and fro in his room, about six or seven metres, perhaps, in the Pondicherry heat. One disciple stood at each end. When he would come to one side, he would be fanned by one disciple. Then he would go to the other side, and again he would be fanned by the other disciple.
Alas, one disciple who was new to this job became so nervous. His nervousness did him the worst possible disservice. When Sri Aurobindo came near him, his nervousness ran riot. While fanning, he touched Sri Aurobindo’s left shoulder. Then he was frightened to death. Sri Aurobindo gave him a little smile, but the Mother was watching. The Mother did not say anything, but the following day he lost that job. And this gentleman was Sri Aurobindo’s literary secretary, Nirod. He is still alive — he is ninety-six years old. He comes from Chittagong. I could tell many stories about him with regard to my life.
In my play, when the disciple was fanning her Master, I was anticipating that by mistake she would strike her Master’s shoulder or head. She did neither!
FSC 27. 26 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
This lady went to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram about five or six years ago. Somehow she met with Nirod, Sri Aurobindo’s secretary, who is now ninety-six.
When he saw this lady and observed her behaviour, Nirod said to her, “Sri Aurobindo is not your Guru. This is not the right place for you. The right place is the Sri Chinmoy Centre. Sri Chinmoy is meant for you!” The funniest thing is that she brought a note in Bengali from Nirod. His handwriting I know so well! He said, “I have got a disciple for you.” I said to myself, “O my God, still Nirod can cut jokes!” Nirod is so kind to me. Three or four years ago when I went to India, I met with him at the Ashram. I went to offer him my respectful pranam. At that time he reminded me about this lady. He asked me, “Do you remember how you got that devotee?”
I said, “Yes.”
Then he asked, “How is she?”
I said, “She is perfect! She deserves me, and I deserve her!”
That lady is so eccentric. No matter how many times our guards kindly ask her not to prostrate herself before me, they do not succeed. But now she does not try to come to my feet. Three or four metres away she lies down and prostrates herself!
FSC 28. 26 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
In 1943, Nirod was Sri Aurobindo’s main secretary. He came from Chittagong. Sri Aurobindo was very close to this secretary. Sri Aurobindo used to dictate his book Savitri to Nirod for revision.
My eldest brother, Hriday, happened to be a very close disciple of Sri Aurobindo. He received hundreds of letters from Sri Aurobindo, and Sri Aurobindo had considerable affection and love for our family.
One afternoon, Nirod told Sri Aurobindo, “Hriday’s mother has been suffering for a long time. How is it that she is not being cured?”
Sri Aurobindo’s immediate reply: “When she dies, her children can come to me.”
Where is Pondicherry, and where is the little village of Shakpura in Chittagong? At that very hour my mother passed away in Shakpura. My eldest sister was then in the Ashram. She was enjoying a siesta, and she had a very vivid dream that my mother had passed away.
In a few hours’ time a telegram came to Pondicherry. Chitta was then also in the Ashram. Before he received the telegram, he came to learn from Nirod Sri Aurobindo’s reaction to my mother’s illness. While opening the telegram, he said to one of his friends, “I know the contents.”
His friend asked, “What is it?”
Chitta said, “My mother has passed away.”
It was true.
FSC 29. 26 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
Nolini said, “No.”
I could not ask him why, but he said, “The reason is that I am well established in the Ashram. I am the General Secretary. Everybody has tremendous love and respect for me.”
Nolini’s connection with Sri Aurobindo was closer than the closest. He told me, “In your case, people will be upset. If you publish a book on Sri Ramakrishna and Swami Vivekananda, the ashramites will misunderstand you. They will scold you and they may insult you, so it is not advisable.”
Then I said, “Poor me, I have done something!”
“What have you done?” he asked.
I said, “I sent an article to the newspaper Amrita Bazar Patrika30 in Calcutta.”
Nolini exclaimed, “What!”
With utmost respect and devotion I said, “What can I do?”
Nolini said, “All right. What can you do?”
I prayed to God, “O God, let the newspaper not use it, so that Nolini will not be upset!”
God did not listen to my prayers. In a few days’ time, when I was typing Nolini’s article, he came to me with such happiness, holding the newspaper. At first, when I saw that he was bringing the newspaper, I became frightened to death. Then, how could he be so nice to me? He started highly appreciating my article! Everything changed.
Nolini was a very, very, very high soul. Many times I can say it: a very high soul, a very high soul, a very high soul, a very high soul.
FSC 30. 27 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia
↩It is believed that this is the newspaper Sri Chinmoy referred to.↩
Nolini said to the man who asked the question, “How do you expect me to answer? If the Mother does not know something, how am I supposed to know? I do not know anything about it. Whatever I know has come from the Mother. I do not know the answer to this question.”
Nolini was the supreme authority on Indian philosophy, but he said, “I do not know.” If the Mother had asked other Sri Aurobindo Ashram “philosophers,” God knows how many hours they would have taken to expound their philosophy! But Nolini was not of that type. He said, “If the Mother does not know, I do not know.”
FSC 31. 27 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
From time to time we had literary meetings. In those days we used to call our group a debating club. We went to Nolini for the Mother’s permission. We said to Nolini, “You will be the president when we have the meeting.” We tempted him, but it did not work!
Nolini went to the Mother, and the Mother said no. Now, my friend and I also had free access to the Mother. In the evening we spoke to the Mother, and the Mother immediately said yes. We were wonderful boys! We went to Nolini and told him, “The Mother said yes. We are going to have our meeting.” How foolish we were! We got permission from the Mother, but that was not enough. We were eager to show Nolini that we had done it. But instead of getting angry, Nolini said, “I am coming. I will preside.”
Alas! I said, “We have already got our mathematics teacher to be the president.” This fellow was nothing in comparison to Nolini.
Nolini said, “I do not mind. I am coming.”
Nolini did come to our meeting. He changed his mind after the Mother gave us permission.
FSC 32. 27 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
Nolini carried only very, very important messages about the world situation to the Mother. Amrita carried all the Ashram news. Once he said that the Mother was very displeased with a message he had given her about an engineer. She had a book in her hand and she threw it right at Amrita.
Amrita asked, “What have I done?”
The Mother said, “True, but where is that culprit? I do not see him here!”
There was such affection between Mother and son!
The Mother used to hold French classes for selected elderly people. She would answer their questions. One day Amrita was late. He stood at the door, and the Mother said, “On one condition you will be allowed to come inside. Tell me how far a human being is from the Divine.”
Amrita said, “How far?” Then he came as close to the Mother as possible, a few inches from her. He said, “I am answering you: this is the only gap between a human being and the Divine.”
At first Amrita was four or five metres away, but then he came right in front of the Mother and gave his answer.
Everybody laughed, and the Mother allowed Amrita to sit down.
FSC 33. 27 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
The lady who took the Transcendental Photograph came from Jamaica, West Indies. Her sister also became a disciple, and she stopped going to her church. That was too much for the priest! The priest went to her place, and there he saw my Transcendental Photograph. First he was stunned. Then he began saying undivine things about the Transcendental Photograph. She started crying because he was saying unkind things.
Right in front of her, the priest burned the Transcendental Photograph — only to lose her for good. She never went back to the church, and her children also did not go back.
That was the unfortunate treatment the Transcendental Photograph got.
Then again, there is a good story. At the Ashram I had a few wonderful detractors. God has so many enemies — what is wrong with me? I can also have critics! This particular person would always criticise me. He said that I was nothing, I was useless. But when he saw my Transcendental Photograph, he immediately placed it on his head. In front of so many people he said, “Here, Chinmoy is not a human being. He is God Himself.” He put the picture on his head with such love and devotion.
Then, after he returned the Transcendental Photograph, again he started his criticism. But when he saw the Transcendental Photograph and put it on his head so devotedly, he said, “Chinmoy is not a human being, not a human being.”
The mind changes for a few seconds, and then it goes back.
Again, a very, very long story you have heard about one particular lady. Ashok and Uday went to Pondicherry, and there that lady narrated to them the story of how she was longing to see a living Avatar and Sri Aurobindo showed her my Transcendental Photograph in the sky. Then she told them that Sri Aurobindo said to her inwardly, “Here is an Avatar, a living Avatar.” She was at that time not in the Ashram; she was in Calcutta. She got that message.
FSC 34. 31 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
If people are in debt and they die without paying their debt in this incarnation, then in their next incarnation, somebody may borrow money from them and fail to return it!
FSC 35. 31 December 2001, Inter-Continental Hotel, Phnom Penh, Cambodia↩
My sister Lily was in what we called a dispensary in the Ashram; you call it a clinic. She was all ready to undergo an operation. My cousin Pushpita was also there. Now she is the oldest in our family. She is dearer than the dearest. Recently I went to see her. She is eighty-six years old. In our family nobody lived to eighty-six. She was only one year older than Lily. As usual, she was scolding me and asking why I had come for only two days!
On this occasion Pushpita went with Lily to help her, to give her strength and moral encouragement. The operation was about to take place. My cousin was in one room, and in the adjacent room Lily was going to be operated on. But my cousin Pushpita fainted and fell down! She got frightened about what was going to happen in the other room. When she fainted, she could not get up. Then my sister Lily started crying. The operation was over before it started — there was no operation that day.
Pushpita is still alive. This cousin was the one who had the living experience of my occult power in my most famous story. She raised her leg to pretend to kick me, and I would not allow her leg to come down. It was hanging in mid-air! I was at that time seventeen or eighteen years old.
FSC 36. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
At their Independence Day function they gave me the first seat among the dignitaries. The President, the Prime Minister and I released three peace doves together. Only for me they wrote, “Honourable Sri Chinmoy.” Our Indian Ambassador to Cambodia came again and again to chat with me, just because I got this honour. His seat was not near me, but four or five times he came to chat, and he begged me to come to his place.
God is so kind to us! There are good people, and they are nice to us. Out of seventy-six votes, the Prime Minister’s party got seventy votes. How happy the Prime Minister’s party was! Perhaps people feel that we bring them good luck.
FSC 37. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
God alone knows when I will actually stop lifting, unless we give up our philosophy: self-transcendence.
FSC 38. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
Many years ago, Narada gave me golf equipment. I will not be able to play golf in this lifetime, but at least I can be satisfied with a golf cart! I enjoy the golfers when I watch them on television. How they go on and on! Many, many years ago in Puerto Rico, I saw a golf course. The carts are very cute. I think President Bush gave a ride to President Gorbachev many years ago on a golf cart.
FSC 39. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
Since his earth-departure, I have kept a very close connection with his wife, Valentina. I call her “Sister.” How much love she and her husband had for me!
Once we had a long-distance race. She came there, crying. I said, “Sister, what is the matter? Do you think I can be of any help?”
She said, “On our wedding day we took an oath that we would never divulge any of our secrets to anyone else without taking permission from each other. If I have to tell a secret, I have to take Aleksandr’s permission, and he has to take my permission if he has to tell a secret. We have kept this promise for so many years. Always we took mutual permission to divulge any secrets. But now I have to tell you a secret without his permission.”
I said, “Oh, without his permission!”
She said, “I must tell you, I must tell you.”
I said, “Please tell me.”
Then she said that he did not want her to tell anybody that he had developed cancer, and it was almost a terminal case. She wanted to tell me, and she did not take his permission. I spoke to her for some time. She felt that, because of my oneness with both of them, her husband would not mind.
When she went home, she said to her husband, “I have told Sri Chinmoy.”
He said, “Oh! What was our promise?” Then he started laughing. He said, “Only Sri Chinmoy! You must not tell anybody else.”
She said, “I knew you would not mind. That is why I told him — and nobody else.”
I went to the hospital to see Razvin. On the way I was composing songs in Bengali, one after another. When I went upstairs to his room, we were so thrilled to see each other. He was highly appreciating the doctors. His main doctor was an Indian woman. I said to him, “Now you will be all right.”
The Indian doctor said, “Swami-ji, Swami-ji, you are here!” Then she said to Razvin, “Only Swami-ji can cure you, not doctors.”
I said, “No, doctors will cure you.”
Then she said to me, “Please, will you be here for another five minutes?”
I said, “I will be here for a longer time.”
She left the room. Downstairs her husband was waiting for her. She brought her husband to the room. She could not believe, and her husband could not believe, that I had come to see a patient. Her husband had been a great admirer of mine. He fell at my feet in the hospital room. He said, “I never thought that I would be able to meet with you.”
This is my story. Some doctors have such love.
FSC 40. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei
↩Aleksandr Razvin, who served for many years in the USSR Ministry of Foreign Affairs and became Russia’s Ambassador and Deputy Permanent Representative to the United Nations in 1994, was a dear friend of Sri Chinmoy’s. He departed this world on 10 March 1998.↩
Two or three days later I had to go back to the same doctor. The doctor said to me, “When I showed my wife the little booklet, she scolded me for such a long time!”
I asked him, “What happened?”
“She said, ‘How could you charge him eighty dollars?’ She scolded me badly.”
He wanted to return the money.
I said, “No, no, no. I cannot take it.”
We invited them to Annam Brahma, and they came. They were so nice. That is again the good side of doctors.
But I have already told the story of when Hiyamallar took me for an MRI. What an unfortunate experience! They were also Indian. Five hundred or six hundred dollars they took from me. Then they said that I had not given them the money! A young girl came to my rescue. She said she was brought up on our street. She found the money that I had given, so I did not have to pay for the second time.
Once Garima came to Manhattan with me when I went for an MRI. They bound my whole upper body — as they would do with children, so that they will not move. I kept my eyes wide open and I was meditating for half an hour. Then they said that I moved! They were angry about something, and they started arguing with Garima.
Each time I have an MRI, I have problems. New York doctors will have one opinion, and California doctors will have a totally different opinion. One will say that there is water in the joint, and one will say it is arthritis. Another one will say something else. Always there are three or four opinions. This is how some doctors examine people. The medical world is so advanced, but the doctors are often not of the same opinion.
FSC 41. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
This morning I spoke to Minati. Minati got the message from the doctors that they want to operate. They say that only then will they know if the tumour is malignant or not. I said, “I do not want her to have an operation.”
The mother was happy that categorically I had said, “No, I do not want her to be operated on.”
Again the doctors said, “There is no other way. If we do not operate, we will not be able to know whether it is malignant.”
I said to the disciple, “Is science not developed enough for them to know if the tumour is malignant or not without operating?”
This disciple is very devoted. There will be no operation, no operation.
Lotika’s mother had cancer. The doctors gave her two or three weeks to live. One of our strongest supporters holds a very high post in a hospital. It is very difficult for ordinary people to be admitted to that hospital, but Lotika’s mother was able to go there. This doctor was so kind. Her husband passed away a few months ago, and she herself had been cured of a most serious cancer. She had such faith, such faith in me.
Again, the doctors gave Lotika’s mother a very limited time. But Lotika has such faith in me, and her mother also has tremendous faith. Instead of dying in three weeks, Lotika’s mother is now almost cured.
I came to learn that Lotika’s mother would soon be going back home from the hospital. Lotika had a mobile phone, and I had to speak to her about another matter. She told me that she was at that time in the hospital. I said, “I would like to speak to your mother.”
Lotika’s mother’s sister was in the hospital room with her mother. Lotika’s mother speaks practically no English. She took the phone, and I was speaking to her in English. She only said, “Spasibo!” — “Thank you!” She went on with that one word. She had one word, and I had so many words!
Then, after our conversation was over, I got the message from Lotika that her mother was crying and crying. Her aunt thought that she was being cured and she was on the fair road to recovery. Why was she crying? She was crying out of sheer joy and gratitude, and she was screaming, “I spoke to God, I spoke to God, I spoke to God!”
Sometimes, when I am absolutely sure, I deliberately take responsibility for something very serious. Again, sometimes I say, “Listen to the doctor. God is inside the doctor.”
Definitely God is inside the doctors, but the difficulty is that the doctors have not yet cured my knee. Nowadays one of my disciple-doctors gives me homeopathic medicine, but it does not cure me. When it comes to my knee, nothing is of help. But I send quite a few people to doctors when it is not within my capacity to be of service, or I am not able to take responsibility. Again, we work together. Whatever help I can give, I will give; and the rest, the doctors will do.
FSC 42. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
Shikha’s father was at that time not even my disciple, but look at my love for Shikha and her faith in me! She told her father an operation was not necessary. Shikha’s father was cured.
Shikha’s mother was always afraid of flying in planes. Such fear she had! But now her mother keeps my locket and my picture with her, and her fear has disappeared. She goes here and there.
Recently Shikha phoned her parents’ place. She talked to her father, and then she said, “Now I would like to speak to my mother. Where is she?”
Her father said, “She does not want to come to the phone right now.”
Shikha asked, “Why?”
He said, “Because she is looking at Guru’s picture. She is looking at Guru’s picture, so she will talk to you later.”
Shikha was so happy! Her mother would talk to her later because she was at that time looking at my picture and meditating. From where to where her life went!
We should print another volume of juicy stories, our miracle-stories. I think they have translated some of our juicy stories into Russian. We can have one book all about medical science and spirituality: how medical science can work together with spirituality, and also, when the time comes, how spirituality transcends medical science.
FSC 43. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
I talked to Madhuri for a long time this morning, cutting so many jokes. At one point I asked, “Are you thinking of me, Madhuri?”
She said, “What else am I thinking of?”
I asked her, “What else are you thinking of?”
Then she said, “I am thinking of you all the time, but again, I am also thinking of my stomach.”
I said, “That is enough! As long as you think of me and your stomach, it is all right. Do not think of anything else.”
For people like Madhuri, I have to overrule the doctors’ decision.
FSC 44. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
I said to the sister, “No operation!” That gentleman is still alive. On very rare occasions I agree to an operation.
Disciple: The doctor who wanted to operate actually wanted to do it for his professional advancement. He wanted to experiment on the patient.
Sri Chinmoy: I said, “I will not allow it.” I did not allow them to experiment.
Disciple: Finally a Centre doctor intervened and said that he was going to take care of the patient. The other doctors were upset because they had lost their chance to experiment.
Sri Chinmoy: I said, “Medical experimentation I do not want.”
FSC 45. 1 February 2002, Orchid Garden Hotel, Brunei↩
I said to Mark, “Wait! When I lift one hundred pounds from the ground, I will come here and give you a cake.” He laughed and laughed. I said, “All right, wait!”
In three or four months, at the tennis ground, I lifted one hundred pounds. Very nicely the picture shows the lift. I brought the picture to Mark and gave him a cake. Then we became such close friends. He had so many exercise machines. His father became my great admirer. In his father’s office, near the door, he keeps my lifting pictures.
That was not enough! I went to Dan. He had seventy or eighty exercise machines of different types in his store, and I wanted to buy something. He would say, “Junk, junk! I will not sell it to you. It is junk.” I could not buy anything from his store. Other people were buying things — I could see it. But when I practised on a machine and I was so eager to buy it, he would say, “It is all junk! I will not sell it to you.”
Many years ago Dan Lurie was America’s strongest man. President Reagan invited him for hand-wrestling. In a fleeting second he could have defeated President Reagan, but he pretended, making President Reagan seem so strong. Finally, he “surrendered” to President Reagan, and it came out in the newspaper: “Reagan is the strongest man.” Dan tells such funny, funny stories! He became a very close friend of mine.
Now a sad story I shall tell you. An old lady went to buy a machine from Mark, Dan’s son. He said, “This is not meant for elderly people.” She was insulted. She said, “What do you mean? I can do it.” He said, “No, it is not good for you. It is for young people.” But she did not listen. What could he do? She wanted to buy it, so he sold her the machine.
In a week’s time the old lady fell down on the machine and broke her ribs. She got a famous lawyer and sued Mark for five million dollars. This is one hundred per cent authentic. Five million dollars! He said, “I cannot deal with five million dollars. I will never be able to pay. It is useless to fight with this lawyer.” He gave up, and he went bankrupt.
The old lady happened to be a rich woman. Mark had begged her, “No, no, it is not for you.” But she said, “No, I will buy it.” She bought it, and this is what happened: she sued him.
Now here is a funnier than the funniest story! Dan Lurie had a magazine about weightlifting. Many years ago it was arranged that the editor would come and interview me. I was giving a musical performance at the United Nations one evening. It was decided that at the end, when the concert was over, the editor would interview me. In those days I rolled up my sleeve when I was about to play the cello. Alas, when the editor saw my muscles while I was playing the cello, immediately he said that I was a liar! The editor said, “He could never lift this kind of weight — impossible! I have observed his arms.” Dan Lurie had kept my pictures on display, but the editor said that he could not believe it! He did not interview me.
Now I lift heavy weights. But even now, perhaps, if that editor comes and sees my muscles, he will not believe it! I have lifted Utthal, but if the editor sees my physique and Utthal’s, is he going to believe it? The weightlifters have muscles, big muscles. In Seattle, after I lifted one weightlifter, he literally tore off his T-shirt to show me how big his muscles were. But he did not lift me! He was very nice. He was showing off his muscles, but he did not want to lift me.
FSC 46. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
Many brightest days have become darkest nights in my life, but some nights have become day!
FSC 47. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
In a few months’ time, what happened? The same man invited his colleagues to hear me give a talk. And in how many ways he has helped me over the years! Our disciple lawyers were not so experienced in the early days, and he helped us so much. Now, every month he sends me fruits.
As I say, “From where to where!” Ashrita’s father is really the radiant example. Now he has become my dearest brother.
FSC 48. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
Whenever the manager of our hotel in Brunei saw me, he was literally thrilled. He even had reverential awe. We became very close friends. I lifted him, and when I gave him the medallion, he was shaking powerfully. He is such a big, stout person. I had to grab his hand because he was absolutely shaking. He had so much nervousness. He said, “I am deeply honoured. I do not know what to say.” I was standing beside him, and he was trembling. I had to hold on to him.
Later, when I was going out of the hotel, he came up to me and said, “Please, please, do you have a minute? I am bringing down the chairman of the hotel.”
I said, “Certainly.”
Then he gave me a gift. It was a clock, very beautiful. He was asking me about our next location. I said, “We are going to Sabah. You have been so kind to us. We have been your guests. Now I would like you to be my guest. I am inviting you to come and be our guests, you and your wife.”
His soul is so closely connected with the soul of a former Australian disciple of mine. Each time I talked to the manager, I saw that boy’s love for me. Each time I saw the manager, I only saw that boy’s soul. It is so easy to deal with somebody whose soul is so familiar. The manager is also Australian.
I rarely ask people ordinary things like, “How are you?” I almost never ask these questions. But for some reason I asked the manager, “Where is your wife from? Is she Australian?”
He said, “No, my wife is from Brazil.”
I said that Brazil is very beautiful. We were there only two or three years ago. Then I said, “You will not accept my invitation?”
He said, “No, we are going to Bali. We want to take rest there.”
I said, “I am very, very happy. Bali is so beautiful. I have been there two or three times. Our Indian Prime Minister Vajpayee was so kind to me. Last time in Bali I was able to meet with our Prime Minister.” Then I asked, “How many children do you have?”
He said that they had no children. They had been married for fourteen years, and now they were going to adopt a child.
Something or someone spoke through my mouth. I said, “Please wait for two years. If you do not have a child within two years, then you can adopt.”
He said, “Two years?”
I thought to myself, “O God, what have I done?” But he looked at me with such love and faith.
Later I heard that he told Savyasachi, “I take what Sri Chinmoy said very seriously. We will wait for two years.”
Do I ever say this kind of thing to people who are not my disciples? Why did I ask him where his wife was from and how many children they had? These things I never, never ask. But something within me had such affection for this man because I saw in him my dear disciple’s soul. In terms of heart, that Australian boy is so devoted to me. He is one hundred per cent for me. I always see the soul, and I saw the connection between his soul and this manager’s soul.
FSC 49. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
We used to have our Sports Day banquet at Mridul’s place in New Paltz. The whole day we had our sports competition, and then in the evening we would have a picnic at Mridul’s place. They decorated their backyard. Alas, once we went there to enjoy our picnic, and out of the blue it started raining. I said, “O God, all our joy will go away!” This was the time for the hostile forces to make fun of us. But I said, “Just stop!” Sometimes when you become very serious, you can stop the rain immediately. If you do not become serious, if you just placate the forces, then there is a little drizzle. Again, by the time your occult power withdraws, the forces may come and attack you very nicely.
Once on my birthday it was absolutely raining cats and dogs. We will never forget that unforgettable experience. Addwitiya was singing. She is such a famous singer! What was I doing then? Do you think I wanted my birthday to be ruined? But sometimes we have to surrender. My supporters will say, “Guru wants to have this experience. Why should he always have to play the role of a beggar and stop the rain?” Again, others will say, “Here is the proof that he does not have the capacity.” They feel that I do not have the capacity, or I have lost the capacity. On that birthday of mine, how heavily it rained!
Four or five years ago, at the tennis ground, I was going to paint on canvasses. The main assistant of my dearest friend happened to be there on that occasion. He can be my worst possible critic. A few drops of rain started descending, and then the rain stopped. He said to me, “Sri Chinmoy, you have stopped it, you have stopped it.”
I said, “No, no, God has saved us.”
He said, “No, you have saved us!”
Then he told so many of his friends that I had stopped the rain. I did not say it!
Again, there is the other side of the story: you can say that on my own birthday I was helpless. You can say anything you like. What could I do? I had to surrender.
Jesus Christ performed so many miracles — miracle after miracle. These miracles absolutely still stand. Then he had to surrender to crucifixion. First he said, “Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?” Afterwards he said, “Let Thy Will be done.”
In the case of the rain, on this occasion I had to surrender, surrender, surrender. When God’s Will and your will become one, you do what God wants you to do. If you stop the rain, you get the credit. If you do not or cannot stop the rain on your own birthday, although you have that kind of capacity, some people will be there to criticise you.
The disciples have to decide. They have come from so far away to be with their Master. This is the golden chance for the disciples either to lose their faith or to keep their faith in the Master.
FSC 50. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
This incident took place during my third visit, I believe. We had at that time about fifty disciples in our Puerto Rican Centre. There was one elderly lady who was an astrologer, a big name on television. I gave her the spiritual name Sita. Another fellow was a self-styled astrologer, and he was also working on television.
The astrologers and others were all saying that in a day or two, while I was there, a hurricane would hit Puerto Rico. People had tremendous respect for my disciple Sita because she was a great astrologer. She was predicting on television that definitely the hurricane would hit Puerto Rico and it would destroy everything.
Then she came to our Centre meeting and said, “Master!”
I said, “Nothing will happen.”
She said, “Master, how can you say that? They are all predicting it. I was on television predicting it!”
I said, “Fine, fine — let us see.”
Nothing happened. The same experience we had two or three times more. Everybody, including our disciples, was saying that everything would be destroyed. At least five times the Supreme in me has saved Puerto Rico, because I have such fondness for Puerto Rico. Five times Puerto Rico’s fate would have been different. But the Supreme in me is so compassionate to Puerto Rico. At times I tease my Puerto Rican disciples because of my affection for them. They enjoy it! I never do that to such an extent with other disciples. I know that five times, at least, the Supreme has saved that Puerto Rican island.
On television, Sita said that a hurricane would destroy Puerto Rico, but I said, “All right, all right, nothing is going to happen.” Nothing happened. There was a disagreement between the Master and the disciple. The disciple said it would happen, and I said, “No, it will not happen.” But it was going to happen.
Compassion, compassion! We approach the Feet of the Supreme’s Compassion and say, “Please, please save us!” The Supreme listens. And then we may get the credit. The Supreme saves us out of His infinite Compassion, and we get the credit. Again, when something goes wrong, when our prediction does not come true, at that time there is no Supreme involved — the Master is blamed. When my prediction proves true, I say it is all the Compassion of the Supreme. When my prediction does not come true, I take the full blame because people do not have any complaints against the Supreme; it was I who opened my mouth.
FSC 51. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
When my friend proclaimed that I was Gorakshanath, my brother Hriday said, “I knew it before.” Nobody believed him at that time. Why did he not say it before? Prediction is like that. If you predict and your prediction comes true, then you are great. If it does not come true, then you are mocked. Chitta was dead against predictions. He knew how many predictions I made, and most of them came true. But he told me never, never to make predictions, because the hostile forces are always there. At the last moment they can do something. If you make a prediction, the hostile forces become so alert. Most of the time they are sleeping, as we are sleeping. But if you open your mouth to predict something, they come with their big arms to destroy it.
Again, at times you have to use your occult power with your prediction. Eight runners were going to run in the 200-metre race during the 1984 Olympics. The previous day I declared the names of the first, second and third-place runners, and it was all taped. At eleven o’clock Sudhahota came to see me, and the following day the race was going to be at five-thirty. Until the time of the race, I kept the strongest force to save my prediction. I had my inner bodyguards. Sudhahota came in first, and the others second and third, as I had predicted.
How many times I predicted with Sudhahota, our world-famous athlete! Four or five times I made predictions, and luckily all my predictions came true. In the case of this 200-metre race, there were eight runners. I did not know them. I knew only their names, and I declared who would be first, second and third. I said Sudhahota would be first, and someone would be second. About the third-place runner I asked Sudhahota, “Do you like him?”
Sudhahota said, “I do not have anything special to say about him, but I do not have anything against him.”
I said, “Then, fine — he will be third.”
For Sudhahota I did this. I love him so much! In his case when I make a prediction, I keep my utmost force on it so that it cannot go wrong. At other times when I make predictions, the results may be totally opposite to what I predicted. I laugh and laugh!
When people give the weather reports, how often their predictions are totally wrong! They make a very large amount of money, but they make wrong predictions. I heard that, in India, a young man’s father was reporting on the weather. He was saying that it was raining heavily, but there was bright sun. His son threw a Coca-Cola bottle at his father and said, “Come out of the room and see whether it is raining heavily or not!”
FSC 52. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
For the birthday celebration we went to an Indian restaurant. God alone knows when I have tasted that kind of most delicious, most delicious food! They gave the food on banana leaves, and “banana leaf” is also part of the name of the restaurant — Jyoti Banana Leaf. The spelling of Jyoti is not like our spelling. The owner is from Malaysia. Saraswati begged him to ask his wife to come out so that we could appreciate her. His wife was cooking. He would say, “Yes, yes, I am bringing her,” but she did not appear. Our disciples said that the wife is very beautiful and very shy.
It was unimaginable! We paid a little more than a dollar for five kinds of things: rice plus four or five kinds of vegetables and dal. Everything was super-super-excellent. We also had lassi, and they gave Indian sweets, including halvah. It was a small place. I took the tennis court guards, and another ten or fifteen people could have been accommodated.
Wherever we go, we see only transcendence! In Kuala Lumpur I said the food was excellent, excellent. We went to Tandoori, Ali Baba and other restaurants. But if you go to this place, you will never forget it. You will get an unforgettable experience the day you go. You will have nice food, and the people are very nice. In the Indian tradition they put on the banana leaf rice, dal and other things. I am supposed to be an authority on Indian food because of my Indian incarnation, but if my disciples also enjoy it, then I will be very, very happy.
The wife was cooking all the time. She is the main cook. There is no comparison between her food and other food. Again, transcendence, transcendence! Here the food was far, far better than the food that we tasted in other countries.
The owner was very, very nice. His great-grandfather came from India to Malaysia. His name is Shiva.
Please have a glance at these birds — flying birds, inspiring birds.
FSC 53. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
Please smile at me! If you smile at me, you give me joy.
FSC 54. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
You and your parents practise spirituality. Otherwise, your brother would have been in the higher worlds by this time. He definitely, definitely would have gone to God. It is only because of you, because of your mother, because of your father, that he was saved. When somebody practises the spiritual life, that individual’s spirituality covers many members of the family. Your brother may not believe it. He does not have to believe it, but you, your mother and your father — you three have saved him. Because of you three, today your brother is still on earth. Does he know it? Very good!
How many people we save by practising the spiritual life! Our dear ones, our relatives, are saved. They do not realise it. They do not have to believe it. But you who are on the path should believe that, because of you, members of your family are still alive. There are many, many, many relatives — brothers, sisters and specially elderly parents — who have received an extension by the grace of their disciple-relatives. There are parents who do not follow the spiritual life, but they may live five years, ten years, fifteen years longer than they were destined to live. In the case of one brother and sister, if they had not been in the spiritual life, God knows where their father would have been by this time.
Again, the parents may not believe it, but the children have to believe that, when their parents receive an extension, it is all because of the children’s spiritual life. Because you follow the spiritual life, God feels that your parents should get a few years more. Your parents may also have at that time a new life.
There are many of you whose parents are alive only because of you. You may not pray for them regularly, but when they are sick, you pray and pray. Again, somebody is there, along with your prayers. You, the children, should have that faith. Your parents have received an extension because of their children’s prayers, their children’s spiritual life.
FSC 55. 4 February 2002, Nexus Resort, Karambunai, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah, Malaysia↩
From:Sri Chinmoy,The Feet of the Supreme's Compassion, Agni Press, 2015
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/fsc