The Golden Boat, part 20

1. What do I do?

```

What do I do?

I meditate.

On whom?

On God.

For whom?

For God.

And what do I do

In my spare time?

I write love-letters to God.

I compose love-songs for God. ```

2. I can wait for Him

```

I know that

My Lord Supreme

Will come at His choice Hour.

I know that everything in me

Will reach Perfection’s height.

Devotedly I can wait for Him.

I certainly can.

```

3. Thinking, planning, doing

```

Father Supreme,

You know what I am thinking,

You know what I am planning,

You know what I shall be doing.

In case You do not know,

Let me tell You:

I am thinking of loving You more.

I am planning to serve You more.

I shall be doing everything for You

Unconditionally.

Beloved Supreme, I sincerely mean it.

```

4. I am happy

```

My sweet Lord,

I am happy

Because

I am always in Your world.

I am happier

Because

You are always in charge of my life.

I am happiest

Because

I need You only. ```

5. The beauty of Eastern light

```

Why did he leave his church?

He left his church

Not because it was unaspiring.

Why did he leave his priest?

He left his priest

Not because he was uninspiring.

He left his church,

He left his priest,

Because he needs his life’s

Total and immediate transformation.

And for that what he needs

Is the beauty of Eastern light. ```

6. Oneness-heart

```

Doubt, I am sorry,

I have already told you

That I shall go with somebody else.

I may, however, do you a last favour.

You want to know who he is?

He is my very old, forgotten friend

And your eternal enemy:

Oneness-heart. ```

7. Earth and Heaven, what is happening?

```

Earth, what is happening?

Why are you so sad?

You mean you do not know

That God needs you?

I tell you, He definitely needs you.

For God’s sake, do not treasure

False thought-world.

Heaven, what is happening?

Why are you dancing?

You mean God always needs you?

Don’t be a fool.

God can perfectly live without you.

I warn you,

He certainly can.

```

8. Supreme reliance

```

Yesterday

I was super-confident

Of my success-life.

Today

I am confident

Of my progress-life.

Tomorrow

I shall rely only on God’s

Unconditional Compassion-Life.

```

9. You are more than beautiful

```

O my surrender-light,

All the divine qualities

Are beautiful,

But you are more than beautiful;

You are fruitful.

Love I need

To see the Face of God.

Devotion I need

To feel within my heart

The Presence of God.

But

You I need

To please God constantly,

To fulfil God unconditionally.

```

10. In common

```

Earth, I need you,

Although

We do not have anything

In common.

Heaven, I love you,

Although

We do not have anything

In common.

God, I need you,

I love You

Since

You and I have many things

In common.

Alas, where are You?

And where am I? ```

11. God is charmed by me

```

Alas, why did I fall

In love with ignorance-night?

I should have known long before

What it was really like.

Now God is unmistakably

Charmed by me.

Alas, will I be able to give Him

All my attention

And

Pay Him His absolute due?

I hope it is not too late —

Alas, alas! ```

12. Earth-promise and Heaven-indulgence

```

When

You are on earth,

Be pure in your heart,

Be sure of your life.

When

You are in Heaven,

Be sincere to your earth-promise,

Be careful of your Heaven-indulgence. ```

13. My presence and Your Presence

```

Lord Supreme, the difference

Between

My presence in You

And

Your Presence in me

Is this:

My presence helps You

To relax and rest.

Your Presence makes me

Feel safe and secure. ```

14. What is worth becoming?

```

Lord Supreme, what is worth loving?

“Son, oneness-beauty.”

Lord Supreme, what is worth doing?

“Son, satisfaction-duty.”

Lord Supreme, what is worth becoming?

“Son, perfection-reality.” ```

15. Alas, why do I overestimate?

```

Alas, why do I overestimate

The power of my ignorance-life?

No matter how long I swim

In the sea of ignorance-night

My Beloved Supreme shall love me

And give me another chance

For His tomorrow’s Life

In me to blossom. ```

16. God denied me

```

I was inattentive;

Therefore

God denied me His Message.

I was selfish;

Therefore

God denied me His Smile.

I was impure;

Therefore

God denied me His Dream.

```

17. Do give me another chance

```

My Lord, there are things

I would like to do infinitely better.

Do give me another chance.

My Lord, there are human beings

I would try to love infinitely more.

Do give me another chance.

My Lord, there are many promises of mine

Remaining unfulfilled.

Do give me another chance.

Although I do not deserve it,

Do give me another chance, my Lord Supreme.

```

18. How can I be jealous?

```

Your experiences have enriched me, my heart.

How can I be jealous of you?

His realisation has enriched me, my soul.

How can I be jealous of him?

Earth’s sacrifice has enriched me, my aspiration-cry.

How can I be jealous of earth?

Heaven’s concern has enriched me, my confidence-life.

How can I be jealous of Heaven? ```

19. I am grateful

```

My Lord, I am grateful to Your Perfection-Eye,

For it knew me

Long before I knew myself.

My Lord, I am grateful to Your Compassion-Feet,

For they will continue to know me

Long after I have totally forgotten myself.

```

20. God likes me

```

God likes me

Because

I do not find excuses

In my ignorance.

God loves me

Because

I never put

My own concerns first.

God embraces me

Because

I never defy

My conscience-sparks. ```

21. I am grateful to God

```

In the physical world

I am grateful to God

Because

He has forgiven me

And

My over-indulgence.

In the vital world

I am grateful to God

Because

He has forgiven me

And

My over-confidence.

In the mental world

I am grateful to God

Because

He has forgiven me

And

My self-absorption. ```

22. I never want to forget

```

I never want to forget

How ruthlessly I have ignored God.

I never want to forget

How compassionately God has forgiven me,

My darkness-pride

And

My ignorance-night.

```

23. Time goes so fast

```

Time goes so fast!

I simply can’t believe my eyes.

Just yesterday I had breakfast with God

In Heaven.

Today I am having luncheon with the prince

of gloom

On earth.

Tomorrow I shall have dinner with death

In death’s private chamber.

```

24. A small favour

```

Lord, You have not chosen me

To play in Your Dream.

Now can You do me a small favour?

Can You not make of me a good sportsman?

Can You not give me the strength

To face the disappointment-night

Like a hero-warrior?

Lord, I am sure You can

And You will.

```

25. I like being what I am

```

Earth, I like being what I am:

Heaven’s descending smile.

Heaven, I like being what I am:

Earth’s ascending cry.

God, I like being what I am:

Your Eternity’s Dream-Boat

And

Your Immortality’s Reality-Shore. ```

26. My sincerity speaks

```

I have enjoyed every minute

Of my stay on earth,

But I do not want

To come back to earth.

You may wonder why.

My sincerity speaks:

Earth-life is too risky.

It is only for the brave.

I have enjoyed every minute

Of my stay in Heaven,

But I do not want

To come back to Heaven.

You may wonder why.

My sincerity speaks:

Heaven-life is quite colourless.

It is only for the dull. ```

27. Nobody cares

```

Earth, you do not care

If I ruin my life

By serving you.

Heaven, you do not care

If I ruin my life

By dreaming of you.

Who cares for me?

Nobody.

And what do I do?

I just don’t care. ```

28. Something special

```

I am sure

Earth sees something special in me.

What is it?

Perhaps my soul’s God-promise.

I am sure

Heaven feels something special in me.

What is it?

Perhaps my heart’s surrender-satisfaction. ```

29. I do not hide from You

```

Lord, I do not hide my weakness from You

Because

Your Compassion-Sea

Is my only strength.

Lord, I do not hide my thoughts from You

Because

Your Illumination-Sun

Is my only salvation. ```

30. Your offering to the world

```

Your mind offers its unreserved respect

To the world-mind;

Therefore

Your mind is unmistakably great.

Your heart offers its unalloyed concern

To the world-heart;

Therefore

Your heart is divinely good.

Your life offers its unconditional love

To the world-life;

Therefore

Your life is supremely perfect. ```

31. Two serious problems

```

I have two serious problems —

One on earth

And

One in Heaven.

On earth I love myself

Infinitely more than I love God.

In Heaven

I do not value God

Supremely and constantly.

```

32. God wants me to be perfect

```

Earth wants me to grow up.

Heaven wants me to glow

Within, without.

God wants me to be perfect

In the heart of silence

And

In the body of sound.

```

33. Christian life

```

Christian life, as he knew it then,

Was pure but not sure.

Christian life, as he knows it now,

Is sure but not pure. ```

34. Give them something

```

Sister-earth is at your door.

Give her something;

Give her at least your love.

Brother-Heaven is at your door.

Give him something;

Give him at least your concern.

Father-God is at your door.

Give Him something;

Give Him at least your gratitude.

```

35. You are knocking at a wrong door

```

I don’t allow you

To impose your mind’s futility

Upon my devoted head;

Therefore,

In your eyes, I am bad.

I don’t allow him

To impose his heart’s insecurity

Upon my aspiring heart;

Therefore,

In his eyes, I am bad.

I am sorry.

You both are knocking

At a wrong door.

```

36. I have found one thing

```

Heaven, do you really want to know

What I have found on earth?

I have found only one thing:

Necessity’s cry.

Earth, do you really want to know

What I have found in Heaven?

I have found only one thing:

Promise-light. ```

37. He is watching me

```

He is watching me.

If only I could feel

What is inside his heart.

Perhaps his compassion-sea.

He is watching me.

If only I could read

What is inside his eyes.

Perhaps my liberation-sky. ```

38. Use your weapons

```

Use your humour-weapon.

Earth will be afraid of you.

You will be able to stay on earth

At least ten more years.

Use your perfection-weapon.

Heaven will adore you.

Heaven will immediately

Welcome you. ```

39. A little hope

```

You are deliberately vain.

Who needs you?

He is insanely vain.

Who needs him?

I am unconsciously vain,

Therefore

I have a little hope,

But not much. ```

40. After all, you are not another God

```

Don’t be so unthinkably impatient.

After all, you are not the wind.

Don’t pretend to be supremely calm.

After all, you are not another God. ```

41. Nobody needs me

```

True, you are Heaven’s representative

On earth.

But alas, I am not sure

Of your compassion-light.

True, he is earth’s representative

In Heaven.

But alas, I am not sure

Of his sacrifice-height.

Poor me,

Heaven does not want me, my ignorance.

Earth does not need me, my indolence.

```

42. What am I today?

```

I don’t have to go very far

To see the mouth of hell.

Yesterday I was nothing but that.

I don’t have to go very far

To feel the heart of Heaven.

Tomorrow I shall be nothing but that.

And what am I today?

Frustration-killer

And

Hope-builder. ```

43. Love is perfection-life

```

Fear is separation-life.

Doubt is destruction-life.

Faith is satisfaction-life.

Love is perfection-life. ```

44. Oneness is always good

```

Toleration by earth-necessity

Is never good.

Surrender by Heaven-pressure

Is never good.

Oneness for God-satisfaction

Is always good,

Supremely good.

```

45. Let me face world-problems

```

Let me face

All world-problems.

After all, they are all

Temporary.

Let me not be over-eager

To receive Heaven-Delight.

After all, it will eventually come

And

Once I receive it

I will drink it

Eternally.

```

46. At long last

```

My sweet Lord, at long last

Today I am thinking less of myself

And more of You.

My sweet Lord, at long last

Today I am loving myself less

And loving You more.

My sweet Lord, at long last

Today I have realised

That I am not only of Your Realisation-Seed

But also for Your Manifestation-Tree. ```

47. A real fool

```

I was a real fool

To come to earth.

Neither earth nor I need each other.

I am a real fool

To go back to Heaven.

Heaven will plead with me

To return to earth.

What for?

To sow the seeds of

Earth-perfection

And

God-satisfaction.

```

48. A sincere "Yes"

```

I should not have stayed

Those extra ten years on earth.

Now I have to pay a heavy duty

In Heaven

For my prolonged, unnecessary stay

On earth.

God, do tell me:

Have You ever created

A greater fool

Than this blind creation of Yours?

God, why are You so silent?

Let me then take Your silence

As a supremely sincere

“Yes”. ```

49. God-realisation

```

In your case

God-realisation is a mere desire.

In his case

God-realisation is a mere dream.

In my case

God-realisation is more than a living reality;

It only is.

```

50. You alone

```

Yours is the God

Of perpetual illumination.

Yours is the soul

Of perpetual meditation.

Yours is the heart

Of perpetual aspiration.

Yours is the life

Of perpetual dedication.

Therefore

You alone I love;

You alone I need.

```

From:Sri Chinmoy,The Golden Boat, part 20, Agni Press, 1974
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/gb_20