When I left God in Heaven

1. When I left God in Heaven

```

For my earth-journey

He gave me two things:

Sincerity and purity.

On my return I shall place

At God's Feet two things:

My unappreciated sincerity

And

My unrecognised capacity.

```

2. Short days, long nights

```

My days are short.

Who made them?

Not I, but my negligence-mind.

My nights are long.

Who made them?

Not I, but my vigilance-heart.

```

3. Abandoned

```

Your body

You have abandoned to idleness.

His vital

He has abandoned to restlessness.

My mind

I have abandoned to forgetfulness.

God's Heart

God has abandoned to forgiveness. ```

4. Exchanging

```

My body and my vital

Like exchanging their ideas.

My heart and my God

Like exchanging their dreams.

I and my life

Like exchanging our failures. ```

5. My heart of failure-frustration

```

O my heart of hope,

You are sweet.

O my heart of certainty,

You are pure.

O my heart of failure-frustration,

You outlast my hope-river

And certainty-shore.

```

6. God's frankness

```

Heaven's sweetness

Is what I had.

Earth's goodness

Is what I have.

God's frankness

Is what I shall have. ```

7. They are denied

```

Earth's face is denied

The face of Heaven-Delight.

Heaven's face is denied

The face of earth-night. ```

8. Only one thing to give

```

Earth, I have only one thing

To give you: consolation.

Everything else

I have already given you.

Heaven, I have only one thing

To give you: dedication.

Everything else

I have already given you.

God, I have only one thing

To give You: gratitude-surrender.

Everything else

I have already given You. ```

9. He is the greatest

```

Dream I see;

I am great.

Vision you embody;

You are greater.

Reality he is;

He is the greatest,

You and I must admit it.

```

10. Something still remains

```

In you something of doubt still remains.

Alas, you fail to believe it,

In him something of jealousy still remains.

Alas, he fails to admit it.

In me something of insecurity still remains.

Alas, will I ever conquer it? ```

11. Hiding places

```

Insecurity-cave

Is your hiding place.

Impurity-jungle

Is his hiding place.

Insincerity-mind

Is my hiding place. ```

12. A difficult task

```

There was a time

When I saw the starry hours,

But now I am living in weary hours.

Lord, do You not feel sorry for me?

I know it is a difficult task

To feel sorry

For somebody else.

But try!

The experience

Will do You a world of good. ```

13. Never to return again!

```

Never to return again!

Earth, you stay with your stupidity-sea.

Never to return again!

Heaven, you stay with your

indifference-sky.

```

14. To be distinguished

```

Do you want to be distinguished?

Then possess a pronounced individuality.

Do you want always to be distinguished?

Then surrender your individuality-cave

To universality's sun-embrace.

```

15. Three friends

```

He has three friends:

His friend supreme: Compassion from above.

His Heaven-friend: Originality of will.

His earth-friend: Boldness of revelation. ```

16. You are the greatest fool

```

You are a fool

If you want to comprehend others' beliefs.

You are a greater fool

If you want to disregard others' beliefs.

You are the greatest fool

If you want to hide your own belief. ```

17. On the hilltop of sanctity

```

Yesterday I stood

On the hilltop of sanctity,

But I fell down.

Today I am standing

On the hilltop of sanctity.

Alas, I am frightened to death.

Tomorrow I shall stand

On the hilltop of sanctity,

Only to ascend infinitely higher.

```

18. I could have become another God

```

I have fooled away too much

Of God's time.

But He does not mind.

I have fooled away too much

Of God's Love and Concern.

But He does not mind.

Needless to say, I mind.

Why?

I could have become another God

By this time

If I had not fooled away

His time, Love and Concern.

I could have given Him a short vacation.

Poor God!

He never gets any vacation.

```

19. His abysmal fate

```

His was a helpless life

Divorced from Mother-earth.

His was a fruitless soul

Divorced from Father-Heaven.

Yet he is alive,

Yet he will remain alive.

Such is his abysmal fate!

```

20. Tomorrow I shall become

```

Yesterday

I was the sunrise of sure duty.

Today

I am the sunset of pure beauty.

Tomorrow

I shall become God-satisfaction-necessity. ```

21. His life of aspiration

```

His life of aspiration:

Heaven knew about it,

Earth did not care to know about it.

His life of realisation:

Earth knew about it,

Heaven did not care to know about it.

```

22. Father and son

```

Father, emptiness on Your Face.

How can I bear it?

Son, fruitlessness in your heart.

How can I bear it?

Father, I am sorry that I have

disappointed You.

Son, I am sorry that I have not appointed you

As a world-lover,

As a world-sufferer,

As a world-liberator. ```

23. What shall I do with it?

```

I can be perfect!

But what shall I do

With my perfection

When nobody on earth cares for it?

I can be God-satisfaction!

But what shall I do

With my God-satisfaction

When not even a soul on earth cares for it? ```

24. The sky of perfection-heart

```

Don't blow up

With high conceits.

You are bound to burst.

Don't give up

Your transformation-hope.

Who knows,

You may fly

In the sky of perfection-heart.

```

25. I stood against them

```

I stood against myself.

I blessed myself and my capacity.

I stood against God.

God blessed me and my stupidity.

I stood against man.

Man killed me and my temerity. ```

26. Where they flourished

```

His heart:

Where patience flourished.

His mind:

Where knowledge flourished.

His vital:

Where pride flourished.

His body:

Where somnolence flourished. ```

27. Unrivalled

```

His earth-life

Is an unrivalled opportunity.

His Heaven-life

Is an unrivalled capacity.

His God-life

Is an unrivalled reality. ```

28. Your cherished possessions

```

In your body

Imagination you cherished.

In your vital

Frustration you cherished.

In your mind

Suspicion you cherished.

In your heart

Expectation you cherished.

Now in your life

Illumination you try to cherish. ```

29. A smile appeared

```

A smile came to God's Face

When I told God

That I love Him.

A smile came into my heart

When God told me

That He needs me.

```

30. The world-sufferer in me

```

I admire

The world-conqueror in me.

I adore

The world-lover in me.

I love

The world-sufferer in me. ```

31. Alas

```

You are a complicated man;

Therefore

I do not go near you,

Alas!

He is a shallow man;

Therefore

I do not go near him,

Alas, alas!

I am an uncultured man;

Therefore

You two do not come near me,

Alas, alas, alas! ```

32. Look at the fool!

```

God came to me for something,

But I was totally unprepared.

Look at the fool in me!

Man came to me.

I asked him what he wanted.

Needless to say,

I was ready to give him everything

for the asking.

But he said he did not know

Why he came to me.

Look at the fool in man! ```

33. Eventually

```

Eventually

Patience-tree will be crowned.

Eventually

Restlessness-monkey will be frowned.

Eventually

Ignorance-sound will be disowned. ```

34. We are happy

```

You fly concentration-kite.

You are happy.

He sails meditation-boat.

He is happy.

I climb contemplation-sun.

I am happy. ```

35. He lives not alone

```

He lives not alone.

He lives with a hostile frown

From below.

He lives not alone.

He lives with the Supreme's supreme Crown

From above.

```

36. Stand or fall

```

Either I shall stand

I shall fall.

If I stand

I shall help everybody stand.

If I fall

I shall fall alone.

I shall not permit anybody

To share my sorry fate. ```

37. The proof

```

You have stopped praying.

Here is the proof:

Your sunless days

Have appeared again.

You have stopped meditating.

Here is the proof:

Your Godless hours

Have struck again. ```

38. Judgement impartial

```

On earth

His was a life of sin

Without pardon.

In Heaven

His was a life of virtue

With a reward.

How can he blame considerate God's

Judgement impartial? ```

39. Strive and find

```

I shall strive;

I shall find.

I shall strive for God-illumination

In my mind.

I shall find God-satisfaction

In my heart. ```

40. Do not yield

```

Do not yield to ignorance.

Think of your kind friend, patience.

Do not yield to your earth-bound reality.

Think of your Heaven-free vision. ```

41. Are you not ashamed?

```

O my mind,

Are you not ashamed

Of your darkness blind?

O my heart,

Are you not ashamed

Of your deplorable insecurity?

O my life,

Are you not ashamed

Of your undying stupidity?

```

42. My sad heart

```

My sad heart,

I really love you.

But I really do not know

How to make you happy.

I am trying so hard.

I have been trying so hard.

I shall be trying

The same way.

But alas, my sad heart,

Will I ever see you happy

Even once in this

Undivine and hostile incarnation? ```

43. In God's Heart of Love

```

Yours is suspicious eye.

His is treacherous mind.

Mine is superstitious life.

I really do not know

How and why God keeps us still

In His Heart of Love. ```

44. Heaven-duty, earth-service

```

To me

Heaven-duty is self-imposed torture.

To me

Earth-service is God-ordained rapture.

Duty enervates me.

Service immortalises me. ```

45. Only this much I can say

```

In admiration of weak minds

Only this much I can say:

They confess they do not know.

In admiration of weak hearts

Only this much I can say

And infinitely more:

They know that God-realisation

Is still a far cry.

```

46. Holy prayers tell me

```

Holy prayers tell me

I can and shall eventually see

The Feet of God-Beauty.

Holy meditation tells me

I can and shall eventually feel

The Heart of God-Reality.

```

47. I live on earth and in Heaven

```

I live on earth

Not because I love it.

I live in Heaven

Not because I need it.

I live on earth

Because my earth-life God prefers.

I live in Heaven

Because my Heaven-life God treasures. ```

48. My inner perfection

```

I wish to thrive on my inner wealth:

Beauty.

I wish to bask in my inner glory:

Purity.

I wish to cry for my inner illumination:

God-Love.

I wish to smile at my inner perfection:

God-Satisfaction. ```

49. Only one answer

```

Lord, I have answered

Thousands of questions.

I really don't feel like

Answering any more questions.

From now on, to every question,

No matter what the question is,

I will have one answer:

"I do not know."

My ignorance-night

Will satisfy the world

Infinitely more than my knowledge-sun.

```

50. O Master-poet

```

O Master-poet, in you I see

God's Silence-Dawn.

O Master-singer, in you I hear

God's Sound-Life.

O Master-Yogi, in you I feel

God's Oneness-perfection. ```

From:Sri Chinmoy,When I left God in Heaven, Bhakti Press, Ottawa, Canada, 1975
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/gdh