I am my life's God-hunger-heart, part 1

1

```

I am

My life's

God-hunger-heart.

```

2

```

Mind

Is by nature bitter.

Heart

Is by nature sweet. ```

3

```

The unknowable God

May be honoured,

But the knowable God

Must be loved. ```

4

```

Just because my soul's love

For me is unimaginable,

My soul has the right

To chastise and punish me

For my life's

Perfection-dream-fulfilment. ```

5

```

A division-mind

Is not only to be doubted

But discarded.

A oneness-heart

Is not only to be loved

But treasured. ```

6

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"Morning shows the day."

There is much truth in it.

A God-seeker

Must be an early bird

If he wants to proceed

In his inner life of aspiration

And if he wants to succeed

In his outer life of dedication. ```

7

```

Expectation does not want

To converse with frustration.

Frustration is always tempted

To converse with expectation -

And sometimes it succeeds.

I want my mind to be as wise

As my heart is.

Therefore, I command my mind

To keep out of

The expectation-frustration-

Conversation.

```

8

```

My seeker-friend,

Pray and meditate soulfully

Every day, without fail,

So that in this lifetime

You can realise God.

Even so,

God does not expect you

To be in a hurry.

At God's choice Hour,

You will definitely realise God.

Rest assured,

There is no deadline. ```

9

```

Do you believe in

The existence of your soul,

Who is the direct representative of God

In your life?

If so,

Then do try to make your soul happy.

How will you do that?

It is by cheerfully acting in obedience

To the orders of your own inner Pilot.

```

10

```

I came into the world to prove

That our soul's powers

Are next to God's only,

And no other power

Can ever dare to equal

The powers of the soul,

The God-representative on earth.

```

11

```

I came into the world

Sleeplessly to produce

God-Smiles.

```

12

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My Beloved Lord Supreme,

I wish to become an eternal traveller

In distant galaxies.

Will You help me, my Lord?

"My child,

I shall help you.

I am asking your ageless

And deathless soul-bird

To do the needful."

```

13

```

My Lord Beloved Supreme,

Although I do not obey You,

Do You have any specific advice

For me today?

"My child, your conscious and deliberate

Refusal to comply

With My Compassion-Request

Will unmistakably destroy

Your aspiration-hunger

And dedication-thirst." ```

14

```

My Lord Beloved Supreme,

I am completely lost

Between Your Justice-Light

And Your Indifference-Might.

Do forgive me.

Do give me the capacity to please You

In Your own Way.

```

15

```

My Lord Beloved Supreme,

I am not praying to You

To shorten my road.

I am praying to You

To strengthen my heart.

I am praying to You

To grant me liberation.

I am praying to You

To grant me Compassion.

```

16

```

My Lord Beloved Supreme,

I am not praying to You

To give me what You have

And what You are.

I am praying to You

To take what I have

And what I am.

```

17

```

My Lord Beloved Supreme,

I am not praying to You to bless me

With a larger than the largest home.

I am praying to You to bless me

With a oneness-heart-home

Where Your Infinity's Peace

And Immortality's Bliss

Together sing, together play

And together dance.

```

18

```

My Lord, I bow to You,

O God the Creator.

My Lord, I bow to You,

O God the creation.

My Lord, I bow to You,

O today's God the man.

My Lord, I bow to You,

O tomorrow's man the God. ```

19

```

If your love of God is not enough,

If your devotion to God is not enough,

If your surrender to God is not enough,

Then employ your gratitude-tears

To increase your love, devotion

And surrender.

Your gratitude-tears can and will be

Of immediate help. ```

20

```

Short is the forgiveness-supply

The world receives from my mind.

Abundant is the forgiveness-supply

The world receives from my heart.

Unlimited is the forgiveness-supply

The world receives from my soul. ```

21

```

Alas, I am totally lost

Between my mind's ego-volcano

And my heart's oneness-fountain.

```

22

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As long as man

Just thinks of God,

No life will be a failure.

```

23

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Alas,

The insecurity-guest

That I love so much

Is my real enemy. ```

24

```

I vehemently ignore

My decision-making mind.

I self-givingly implore the presence

Of my direction-giving soul. ```

25

```

Doubt is something we acquire

But do not require.

Fear is something we acquire

But do not require.

Impurity is something we acquire

But do not require.

Ignorance is something we acquire

But do not require.

Divinity is something

We not only require

But also acquire

Only on the strength

Of God's Willingness to give

And our willingness to receive. ```

26

```

Every day my compassion-flooded soul

Feeds my Heaven-climbing heart

And silences my cyclonic questions.

```

27

```

My soul knows

My mind's room number.

It comes to my mind-room

To be of help,

But my mind vehemently rejects

My soul's unconditional help.

My soul knows

My heart's room number.

It comes to my heart-room

To be of help.

My heart not only receives

Unconditional help

But also offers ceaseless

Gratitude-tears in return. ```

28

```

My sleepless faith-heart

Is my peerless

Confidence-life-builder.

```

29

```

My Lord,

I am ready to wait,

Wait for Your Eternity's

Compassion-flooded Call.

"My child, cry,

Cry only one more time

For My Arrival.

This time I will definitely come." ```

30

```

God was waiting,

God is waiting

And God will always wait

For my life's

Perfection-satisfaction-sunrise.

```

31

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The mind's obedience-necessity

Has no limit.

The heart's compassion-capacity

Has no limit. ```

32

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God tells me that because

I am a true God-lover,

He will never allow me

To go my own way. ```

33

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God-obedience has to be

The strongest point in my life

If I want my heart to be hungry

For God's Compassion-Eye-Favours. ```

34

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God wants me to have

A very special fondness

For my oneness-heart-sky

And not for my vastness-mind-desert. ```

35

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God

Is God-Eternity's

Forgiveness-Sweetness.

```

36

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The most sacred duty

Of a God-server

Is his desireless and sleepless

Self-offering. ```

37

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I am supremely happy

Because my heart-master

Is always exceptionally kind to me.

```

38

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The path of God-obedience

Is the only path

That I sleeplessly and breathlessly need.

```

39

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Each pure thought

Embodies the beauty and sweetness

Of paradise.

```

40

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When I become a soulful lover

Of God's Dream,

God becomes a fruitful Fulfiller

Of my reality. ```

41

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What am I doing?

I am exploring my own

Aspiration-surrender-gratitude-selves.

```

42

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May I grow in the silence

Of Eternity's Heart.

May I glow on Infinity's Face.

```

43

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Start, start, start!

Delay not

Your God-dedication-day.

```

44

```

There is no difference between

My surrender-heart

And

My happiness-life. ```

45

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Finally I have convicted

My doubting mind,

Which is not only usually

But constantly guilty. ```

46

```

My Lord of Compassion whispers,

But, alas,

I am always talking and talking

With my stupid mind. ```

47

```

When my heart makes

Innumerable mistakes,

My compassionate Lord Supreme

May leave my heart for a short time.

But like a traveller

Who covers some distance

And comes back,

My Lord Supreme also comes back

To my heart-home.

```

48

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Is there any human being on earth

Who has never suffered

From expectation-headache?

```

49

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Each soulful meditation

Has the capacity to show me

Where God is hiding.

```

50

```

My sweet Lord Supreme,

My mind is too old.

Do give me a new mind.

My sweet Lord Supreme,

My heart is too weak.

Do give me a strong heart.

My sweet Lord Supreme,

My life is too useless.

Do give me a useful life.

```

From:Sri Chinmoy,I am my life's God-hunger-heart, part 1, Agni Press, 1994
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/ghh_1