Married not once, but twice

Next Sri Ramakrishna asked Nag Mahashay whether he was married. Nag Mahashay replied, "Master, not once, but twice!"

Sri Ramakrishna asked, "Why? Why?"

The disciple explained, "The first time, it was to a young girl of eleven, and then she died in a year or two. I was so happy and relieved. It was all against my will to be married. To please my father I did it. Then I was so happy that God took her. My father wanted me to marry a second time. Again, it was dead against my will. I fought and fought to be allowed to remain free from worldly bondage. Day and night we argued. I pleaded with my father. I said, 'I want to be spiritual. I want to give my life to God. Already you brought bondage into my life once. Now God, out of His boundless Compassion, has removed this bondage. Why must I suffer again?'

"But my father would not listen. He wanted grandchildren. He felt that if I did not continue his lineage, then Heaven's door would be closed to him; God would not be pleased with him. He said to me, 'Do you want to prove that I am a liar? I have already selected a bride for you and I have given her family my word that you will marry her. I have promised them.'

"When I did not respond, my father became very angry. He said, 'I am cursing you. You will never be successful in any sphere of life.' But I would not give in. I said to him, 'No harm, I am ready. I accept your curse. I am not going to get married again.'

"Then one day it happened that I came home from work and I found my father in his room weeping bitterly. I asked him the reason for his sorrow. He only said, 'You have to know why I am crying.'

"I knew that I could not prolong my father's misery any longer. I said to him, 'I do know why you are crying. I wish to tell you that I am giving up my religion; I am giving up my spirituality; I am giving up God to please you, since that is what will make you happy. It is up to God whether He forgives me or not. I cannot bear to see you weeping. You have shown me infinite affection since my very birth. How can I displease you? I will get married.'

"My father was extremely surprised and delighted and he made arrangements for my second marriage. My wife is now living in my native village. She is taking care of my father."

From:Sri Chinmoy,A God-intoxicated man: Nag Mahashay, Agni Press, 1997
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/gnm