Question: Sometimes I feel I am doing well in my spiritual life, and at other times I hear a voice telling me how awful I am, how impatient I am and so on.

Sri Chinmoy: You have two beings inside you. One encourages you, "Go forward, march on! You are doing the right thing." The other one discourages you. It says that you have to become much more spiritual, more sincere and more devoted because right now you are very bad. Do not take the voice that encourages you as your ego. It is your conscience, your inner being, telling you that you are doing the right thing. When you are meditating it is like a mother encouraging her child. The child is trying to do something and the mother says, "Come on, my child, you are doing the right thing. You are doing well. Go on, continue. Go as fast as you can." This encouragement and inspiration give the child a tremendous push forward.

But there is another being inside you that is constantly making you feel miserable by telling that you are doing everything wrong; that you are not sincere. It is always pointing out defects and imperfections in your nature. Do not think that that particular being is telling you the truth. No, it is only trying to discourage you by throwing cold water on your efforts and destroying your self-confidence while it pretends to be impartial. By telling you constantly that what you are doing, saying and feeling is wrong, it is not helping you in any way to go faster towards your goal. By telling you that you are very bad, I cannot help you in any way. On the contrary, if you have just a little possibility, I am killing it. So feel that the voice that is encouraging you is the divine being, and the one that is discouraging you is the undivine being in you.

As for your impatience, if you remain in the light of your aspiration, you will not be impatient. You will see constantly that you are gradually going up high, higher, highest. When you meditate soulfully you will get such joy that your very patience will say, "Look! Now I have brought you up to here. You started climbing only yesterday and you have come so far!"

From:Sri Chinmoy,The hunger of darkness and the feast of light, part 1, Agni Press, 1974
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