Illumination-Song and Liberation-Dance, part 3

101. Amije moher rachana

```

Ami je moher rachana

Ami ke amare balana

Britha kena shato kamana

Amije amar jatana

Amike amare balona

```

Translation

```

I am the creation of my own illusion and delusion.

O Lord, do tell me who I really am.

Why do I cherish in vain hundreds of desires?

Alas, all my heart’s excruciating pangs and I

Have become inseparably one.

O Lord, do tell me who I really am. ```

102. Diner shese pathe base

```

Diner sheshe pathe base

Tomar pane chai

Se din prabhu balechile

Pare pabo thai

Hasi mukhe chale gele

Jaoni prabhu abahele

Bhikkha magi tripti lagi

Jetha ami jai ```

Translation

```

At the end of the day alone I stand

On the road looking for You.

Lord, the other day You told me

That You would grant me shelter at a later date.

You left me with a smile.

You did not ignore me.

Lord, wherever I go I beg only for one thing:

Satisfaction. ```

103. Hath ache khali

```

Hath achhe khali

Pran dibo dhali

Jato paro nao kali

Bhoy karibona

Maran jatana

Janani shmasan Kali

Tomar charane rakhibo jatane

Kritagyatar thali ```

Translation

```

My hands are empty,

But my heart I shall unreservedly pour.

O Lord, do accept all my heart’s ignorance-ink,

As much as You can.

Lord, I tell You, I shall never be afraid

Of the torture of death.

Mother Kali of the crematorium is my very own.

At Your Feet, Lord,

I shall always keep my heart’s gratitude-receptacle.

```

104. Nai ayojan sadhan bhajan

```

Nai ayojan sadhan bhajan

Achi sada tomai bhule

Kripa kare nile amai

Prabhu tomar anke tule

Hriday duar dile khule

Janena man tomai bhule ```

Translation

```

I am not yet prepared

For a life of spiritual discipline.

Alas, I have totally forgotten You.

Yet You have come with Your boundless Compassion

And accepted me and placed me on Your Lap.

O Lord Supreme, You have opened my heart’s door.

Alas, still my forgetful mind knows not

Who You are. ```

105. Ki kare jaibo kaha

```

Ki kare jaibo kaha

Amare dakiya laho

Ke tumi amar dhamer jatri

Rayecho jagiya atoi ratri

Hese khele jabo taba sathe sathe

Sada sukhe dukhe dibase o rate

Jibaner bhar aji dusaha

Ki kare paibo kaho ```

Translation

```

O pilgrim, do tell me how I can come to you.

Do call me.

O, who are you inside me

Playing the role of an eternal pilgrim

To reach the land of Immortality?

Far into the night always you remain awake.

Smiling and playing I shall come to you.

My cheerful days and sorrowful nights

Create the burdens of my life.

At times, they are heavy and unbearable.

O pilgrim, do tell me how I can achieve all your inner wealth.

```

106. Sudure kar payer dhwani

```

Sudure kar payer dhwani

Shuni jena din rajani

Kahar lagi paran amar

Tibra anuragi

Oi bujhi oi kache elo dhwani

Aro jena kache elo nayan mani ```

Translation

```

Whose footsteps do I hear at a distance all day and night?

For whom is my life?

For whom is my life all eagerness?

Ah, I hear now the sound is approaching me.

My beloved Lord seems to be right beside me.

```

107. Khelar lagi praner thakur

```

Khelar lagi praner thakur

Garechen ei bishwa khana

Ektu khele khela phele

Kothai ke jai jaina jana

Chardike sab khelar mela

Katoi bhabe katoi khela

Khelte khela bhaber hathe

Dekha cheye katoi khate

Nitya chali nutan khela

Ke shunbe go kahar mana ```

Translation

```

The Inner Pilot has created this world

For us to play.

After having played for a short while

We know not where we all go.

While we are on earth,

In various ways we enjoy our life’s myriad games.

How hard we have worked in our life’s marketplace.

At every moment a new game awaits us,

No restriction, no disciplinary action.

```

108. Man janena ami jani

```

Man janena ami jani

Amai kabhu tanatani

Karbena hai keha

Briddha jakhan habe amar

Shranto klanto deha

```

Translation

```

My mind does not know, but I know

That nobody will pull me towards Him like a magnet

When I shall become old, tired and exhausted,

An energyless body. ```

109. Bhalobasar parash chhara

```

Bhalobasar parash chhara

Praner kali jabe nare

Sakal prane praner thakur

Kripa balo karbo kare

Ghrina tumi karbe jare

Sei tomare tanbe andhare ```

Translation

```

Without the magic touch of love,

The impurity-ink of the vital life

Can never be removed.

Yet when I see my Inner Pilot

In each and every human being,

How can I dare to show compassion-light?

O ignorant man, if you ignore anyone,

Rest assured, he will pull you mercilessly towards him

In his own ignorance-night.

```

110. Prabhu tumi karo dan

```

Prabhu tumi karo dan

Ami shudhu bali

Aro chai aro chai

Sab niye bali amar hiyai

Thai nai thai nai

```

Translation

```

Lord, You always give me everything unconditionally.

Yet I tell You, “Give me more, give me more!”

You fulfil my desire.

Desire fulfilled, I tell You, Lord,

“I see You.

You want to enter into my heart.

Sorry, there is no room for You.”

```

111. Prabhu tomar katha

```

Prabhu tomar katha

Bhable amar

Bhabna rabena

Amar bhabna rabena

Apan bhabna bhebe amar

Bhabna jabena

Amar bhabna jabena

```

Translation

```

Lord, if I think of You

I can have no worries and anxieties.

By thinking of my own worries and anxieties,

I shall never be able to free myself from them.

I know this undeniable fact,

Yet helplessly or deliberately I see myself

In the grip of worries and anxieties.

```

112. Miche tomar sukher dali

```

Miche tomar sukher dali

Miche tomar dukher kali

Bhalobasa kanna hasi

Sab chhal sab chhal

Je ase aj maner dukhe

Ar je ase hiyar sukhe

Tare niyo sabai buke

Na thak chokhe jal ```

Translation

```

False is your happiness-life-tree.

False is your life of sorrowful ink.

The smile and the tear of love

Are nothing but deception.

He who comes to you today,

His mind's sorrow and his heart's joy accept.

Let there be no tears in any human heart.

```

113. He achena tomai ami

```

He achena tomai ami

Chinbo kabe

Je kareche tomai apan

Se kareche apan sabe

He ajana tomai ami

Chinbo kabe

Tomai bhule ar kato din

Thakbo bhabe ```

Translation

```

O Unknown,

When can I know You?

He who claims You as his own

Has made the entire world his own.

O Unknown,

When can I know You?

How long am I destined to live on earth,

Meaninglessly and sorrowfully,

Without You?

```

114. Bela hale chale jabe tari bahi

```

Bela hale chale jabe tari bahi

Tabe kena eli hetha giti gahi

Tomar tarani pare

Jadi kabhu nibe more

Tabu jena toma pane sada chahi

Tomar bijoy giti jena gahi ```

Translation

```

If it was decided that when the final hour strikes

You will go back sailing your boat,

Why then did you come singing to this world?

If You do not carry me in your boat, no harm.

Do grant me the boon

To invoke you always and sing your victory-song. ```

115. Amar bhanga ghare kalo rate

```

Amar bhanga ghare kalo rate

Alo hate ke ele

E je shudhu kantar ban

Hetha tomar ki pralobhan

Ki aj hate ele prabhu

Amar ghare ki pele ```

Translation

```

Who has come into my broken home

On this dark night

With a lamp in his hand?

O, I know not.

Don’t you know that this place is only

A forest of thorns?

What kind of temptation-life

Have you created for me?

With what hope have you come to me?

What have you received from my heart-room? ```

116. Ke oi abar bajai banshi

```

Ke oi abar bajai banshi

O udasi lau go asi

Praner kali dibo dhali

Alo jele kache ele

Dekhbe amar niloy khali

Mukhe shudhu ache hasi ```

Translation

```

Yonder who plays once again his flute?

Who is that God-intoxicated mendicant?

I shall offer him my life’s ignorance-ink.

Ah, I now see him approaching me

With his inner light.

His smiling face will discover my heart’s emptiness. ```

117. Kal ki habe ke jane

```

Kal ki habe ke jane

Kar mana ar ke mane

Jiban maran tanche ekhan

Bhese jabo kar pane

Lila amar purna habe

Kon debatar gopan dane ```

Translation

```

We do not know what is going to happen tomorrow.

Nobody listens to anybody.

Life and death together are calling me.

I do not know whom to accept and whom to reject,

Towards whom I shall sail my life-boat.

I do not know which cosmic god

Will fulfil my earthly sojourn.

```

118. Jayto chahini cheyechi shikhite

```

Jayto chahini cheyechi shikhite

Ki bhabe asibe joy

Janite parile tar sathe pathe

Kare neba parichoi

Sakal joyer shreshtha bijoy

Prabhu taba hathe parajoy ```

Translation

```

I have not longed for victory.

I simply wanted to learn

How I can achieve success.

Had I known the way,

I would have definitely been familiar with it.

I know the greatest of all victories

Is my defeat at the Hands of my Beloved Supreme.

```

119. Kal ja chila puraskar

```

Kal ja chila puraskar

Aj je taha tiraskar

Ami kare chari kare dhari

Apan bale baran kari

Apan jane gechi bhule

Arire ni kole tule

Je ase se tomar dyuti

Tarei namaskar ```

Translation

```

Yesterday what was the supreme reward,

Today that very thing is an object of contempt.

Whom have I to accept and whom have I to reject?

Whom shall I accept as my own?

Alas, I have forgotten my near and dear ones.

I have saluted and embraced my adversaries,

Thinking that whoever comes

Is Your emissary carrying Your Light. ```

120. Man daoni mani

```

Man daoni mani

Apaman je maner sathe

Karche tana tani

Dan daoni data

Nitya jena tomar paye

Thake amar matha

Ja diyecho na chahite

Taito tomar bani

Eso amar hriday dale

Eso hriday rani ```

Translation

```

O Queen of my heart,

You have not given me signal honour.

I know perfectly well that dishonour and honour

Are inseparable.

O Queen of my heart, they live together

And pull me towards them.

O Queen of bounty,

You have not given me Your wealth.

Nevertheless I wish to keep my head

Always at Your Feet.

Whatever You have given me

Is nothing short of Your Message-Light.

Do come into my lotus-heart and occupy it,

O Queen of my heart. ```

121. Rupar tarani bahiya

```

Rupar tarani bahiya

Oi ase oi chandiya

Akash juriya madhur gitika

Bihanga jai sudure pane

Asha guli ure chale

Disha bhuli

Bela gela ai namiya

```

Translation

```

Sailing the boat of silver light,

The moon-beauty is fast approaching me.

The sky is vibrating with sweet and melodious songs.

The birds are flying beyond the horizon

To an unknown land.

All my hopes are flying without any destination.

Slowly my life’s evening sets in.

```

122. He ajana tumi amar

```

He ajana tumi amar

Sakal kabe habe

He achena apan bale

Chinbo tomai kabe

Kabe tumi amar prane

Sthayi habe robe

Kabe amai deke tumi

Tomar mahot sabe ```

Translation

```

O Unknown,

When will You become

Everything to me?

O unfamiliar One,

When shall I know You well as my own?

When will You become true in my life-boat?

When will You call me

To attend to Your Victory’s festival supreme? ```

123. Hashi hase ashru hase

```

Hashi hase ashru hase

Tader srote jiban bhase

Maya moher jal

Manda mor kapal ```

Translation

```

My smile smiles.

My tears shed tears.

I am floating with the life-current.

Alas, mine is a deplorable fate indeed.

All around what I see

Is a strong net of illusion and delusion. ```

124. Kato sampad sanchito ache

```

Kato sampad sanchito achhe

Akashe je mor ghar

Nija hate nao diba khusi prane

Keha nahi mor par

Dharani mukti lagi ami kandi

Niyata nirantar ```

Translation

```

I have garnered teeming wealth.

My hope is in the blue welkin.

I shall give you everything that I have.

Do take it with your own hands.

To me, there is no stranger.

For the freedom of the world

I am endeavouring day in and day out.

```

125. Eki amar pulak lage

```

Eki amar pulak lage

Kahar nayan palake

Tumi ke go tumi ke

Dekha dile nij aloke

Ami ke go ami ke

Tomar amar gopan milan

Tumi chara ar gane ke

```

Translation

```

Whose beautiful Eye at every moment

Sends me a thrill of delight?

Is it You who have given me

The infinite Love of Your inner Light?

I do not know who I am.

You and I secretly meet

And exchange our hearts’ divine ideas and ideals,

Visions and mission.

Nobody else knows save and except we two.

```

126. Na jani ki mane kare

```

Na jani ki mane kare

Mukhe bhasha dile more

Rachi tale kato gan

Kari kato sudha pan

Katobar sanpi pran

Jibaner puta bhore ```

Translation

```

I do not know what compels You

To give me speech and voice.

I compose a good many songs about You

And drink nectar-delight.

How many times I have surrendered myself to You

Right from the sacred dawn of my life. ```

127. Ghuche geche ama nisha

```

Ghuche geche ama nisha

Peyechi tomar disha

Amar hriday majhe

Ki jani ki jadu ache

Charidike marubhumi

Nahi tabu mor trisha ```

Translation

```

The dark night has at last ended.

I have now seen You inside the depth of my heart.

I do not know what magic abides inside me.

Around me is the desert,

Yet I am not parched with thirst.

```

128. Ekla ghare nayan bhare kand

```

Ekla ghare nayan bhare kand

Kenare tui pari prane phand

Jatoi peli bhalobasa

Tatoi bare praner asha

Prantare tui bandh

Nayan bhare kand ```

Translation

```

Cry to your heart’s content

Remaining inside your room.

Why do you strangle yourself?

The more love you receive,

The more your life’s hope increases.

O bind your restless vital

And cry and weep incessantly.

```

129. Chokhe ashru mukhe hasi bhan

```

Chokhe ashru mukhe hasi bhan

Tabu chale hetha hasi gan

Byatha jane byatha kare bale

Byathar malya rayeche je gale

Tabu mukhe kare hasi bhan

```

Translation

```

The eyes are flooded with tears

But the heart pretends to be happy.

Suffering wears the garland of suffering.

Suffering knows what suffering is.

Yet the vital smile continues outwardly.

```

130. Ami eka ami chira eka

```

Ami eka ami chira eka

Sathe keha nai dao dekha

Prabhu tomar bhagya rekha

Nutan kariya dao dekha ```

Translation

```

I am alone, always all alone.

I have nobody to accompany me.

O Lord Supreme, change my fate.

May I be granted a new body, a fortress true. ```

131. Dao paran bhari dao

```

Dao paran bhari dao

Nao jata tumi chao

Mor pipasa mithao

Prabhu dainya ghuchao ```

Translation

```

O give me to Your Heart’s content!

Do take as much as You want.

The more You fulfil my thirst, Lord,

The more You remove my meanness, darkness

And obstacles on the way.

```

132. Gaibana ar kulai base

```

Gaibona ar kulai base

Kantha kena thakbe amar parer bashe

Mukta ami nil akashe

Ure chali tarar pashe

Apan maner harashe

Gaibona ar kulai base ```

Translation

```

I shall no longer sing inside the cage.

Why should my voice remain

Under the control of somebody else?

I want to be free in the blue sky.

I can fly to the stars and planets

At my own sweet will.

I shall no longer sing inside the cage.

```

133. Sabar majhe lukiye thak

```

Sabar majhe lukiye thak

Keu dekhbena keu janbena

Shudhu ma ma bale dak

Chinisna re asal nakal pran

Kandisna ar mayer kole thak

```

Translation

```

Inside each and every heart you hide.

Nobody is going to know you.

Nobody is going to see you.

Do only one thing:

Repeat the Mother’s Name.

Alas, you do not know the real from the unreal.

Do not cry and weep.

Just stay in the Mother’s Lap. ```

134. Nutan katha koi

```

Nutan katha koi

Sabai nutan katha koi

Amar katha sei puratan

Nutan kichui noi

Nutan dake prane jage bhoy

Nai je amar pather parichoy

Tumi amar sei puratan

Chira madhur chira madhumoy ```

Translation

```

Everybody tells something new,

But it is I who have nothing new to say.

Everything that I say is old and fruitless.

Anything that is new creates fear in my heart.

I do not know where my goal lies.

O Lord Supreme, You are eternally old to me.

You are eternally sweet and delightful.

```

135. Geye ja tui akaran

```

Geye ja tui akaran

Ajiban

Miche kena bhabisman

Kusum kali phute jabe

Bhabe maki kal ki kabe

Na hoi tader mato shukiye jabi

Gandha kari bitaran

```

Translation

```

You go on singing all your life unconditionally.

O mind, think not foolishly.

When the little bud comes into existence,

Does it ever think of its future?

No, never.

If necessary, let one life of yours wither away,

Spreading its fragrance all around,

Like the tiny fragrant buds. ```

136. Megh chaleche kon deshe

```

Megh chaleche kon deshe

Nana rupe nana beshe

Madhur hasi hese

Megh chaleche kon deshe

Akash balre amai bal

Amar nayan jal

Megher mata jiban khani

Karbe ki ujal

Akash balre amai bal

Megh chaleche kon deshe ```

Translation

```

The clouds are sailing towards an unknown world

Adorned with myriad beauty.

A smiling face accompanies them.

The clouds are sailing towards an unknown clime.

O sky, do tell me where the clouds are sailing.

I ask you with my tearful eyes.

O sky, will you make my life as bright

And beautiful as the clouds?

O sky, tell me where the clouds are sailing.

```

137. Sthayi kichu kotha ache

```

Sthayi kichhu kotha ache

Dudin tare

Hasi kanna prema lila

Shudhu dudin tare

Ki habe ke jane bal

Dudin pare

Ogo andhar jaogo sare

Ogo alo eso ghare

Hokna ta dudin tare

```

Translation

```

There is nothing permanent.

Transient are the lives of sorrow and joy

Founded on human love.

Nobody knows what is going to happen

In the near future,

Or even tomorrow.

O darkness, let me live alone.

O Light, do enter into my heart,

Even if it is for fleeting days.

```

138. Katai dekhecha

```

Katai dekhecha

Katai shunecha

Katai karecha pan

Tabu ki tomar

Mitheni pipasa

Bhareni khudra pran

Shunibar jaha shuneo shunani

Dekhibar jaha dekheo dekhani

Paoni atmagyan

Shudhu ghuri techa

Pathe pathe britha

Paoni patha sandhan ```

Translation

```

So many things you have seen.

So many things you have heard.

So many things you have tasted,

Yet quenchless is your thirst.

Your little life wants to see more,

Wants to hear more,

Wants to taste more.

The things worth hearing you have not heard.

The things worth seeing you have not seen.

God-realisation you have not yet achieved.

You are roaming aimlessly along the street,

No destination at all. ```

139. Alpa kathar manush ami

```

Alpa kathar manush ami

Alpa katha koy

Beshi katha balte amar

Prane kare bhoy

Beshi kathar sathe thake

Mithya parichoy

Taito ami alpa katha koy

```

Translation

```

I am a man of few words.

I speak very little.

When I talk much,

Fear captures my heart.

When I speak too much,

Utter falsehood becomes my name.

Therefore I am a man of few words.

```

140. Ke na jane deher parinati

```

Ke na jane deher parinati

Dudin pare ki habe tar gati

Dehir sathe hale parichoy

Deha gele ar karina bhoy

Deho chini dehi amar par

Shudhu deha niye taito kari ghar

Bhule thaki deher parinati

Taito amar hoina urdhagati ```

Translation

```

Who does not know the end of a human body,

What will happen to the body at long last?

When I become acquainted with the embodied soul,

I become aware of the body,

But not of what is inside the body.

Therefore, I always sport with the body

And I forget that the body will one day expire.

Therefore, I make no upward progress. ```

141. Priyatama eso nirabe

```

Priyatama eso nirabe

Andhar parane lukaye rabe

Akashe bijali sama

Dhukibe jibane mamo

Habo ami taba priyatama

Tabo baibhab amar bhabe ```

Translation

```

Beloved Supreme, come in silence,

Come in supreme silence.

You will hide in my dark heart.

Like the lightning in the sky,

Someday You will illumine my heart.

Someday You will truly become

My Beloved Supreme

And my little world will be flooded

With Your Infinite Light.

```

142. Tumi amai dharo

```

Tumi amai dharo

Ami tomai dharbona ar

Tumi amai dharo

Aro shakta kare dharo

Paran amar bhaye jara jara

Jabe ahanaj prabhu tomar

Manomato

Tomar kare gare ```

Translation

```

You hold my hand.

I shall no more hold Your Hand.

You hold my hand more firmly.

My heart is assailed by fear.

My little 'i' will disappear

Only when, O Lord, You mould me

And shape me in Your own way.

```

143. Kare diye bhaba ghure

```

Kare diye bhaba ghure

Bishwa ghare dile thai

Dujan amar apan hale

Habe ki mor apan sabai

Cheye prabhu tomar charan

Sakal dukher halo maran

Ki chhai niye chilam base

Ki dhan ami chahi nai ```

Translation

```

You have made me a mendicant.

I roam day and night along Eternity’s road.

Everywhere I discover my home.

You and I have become close to each other.

We feel each other as our own, very own.

Do You think this is enough for us

To claim the entire world as our very own?

Lord Supreme, when I look at Your Feet divine,

All my sufferings come to an end.

Alas, there was a time when I wallowed

In the pleasures of ignorance-ash, dirt, filth, dust

And forgot to long for the real wealth from You. ```

144. Raj pathe pathe kato ghurilam

```

Raj pathe pathe kato ghurilam

Harainu tata jato labhilam

He mor nayan bikashini

Milila shudha mithilana khudha

Ogo santap nashini

Aji phirilam dhulai malin

Hasi nai mukhe hayechi srihin

Basibe ki ei jiban anke

Ogo pankajabasini

```

Translation

```

Far have I walked along the highway.

The more I have lost the outer world,

The more I have gained the inner world.

O Queen of my life-illumining vision,

I have discovered nectar-delight,

Yet my hunger remains the same.

O my heart’s consolation-queen,

O remover of my life’s excruciating pangs,

Today I am returning home in a beggar’s garb

With an unclean body and an unlit mind.

The smiling world has left me.

Utterly empty of beauty my life has now grown.

O Goddess Lakshmi, Queen and Mother of my heart,

Do grant me one solitary boon:

Place Yourself once and for all

Inside the crying pages of my life’s sorrowful

And closing chapter.

```

145. Sabai jakhan chai amare

```

Sabai jakhan chai amare

Takhan tomai chai ki kare

Tai bujhima daona dhara

Phirbe amar jirna ghare

Ebar jakhan dakbe tara

Ar debana tader sara

Tanbe jakhan theko amai dhare

Thakbo mago tomar paye pare ```

Translation

```

When everybody wants me,

How can I long for You?

Is it because of that, Mother, You hide from me?

You will return to my small and broken heart-room.

Mother, this time when others call me,

I shall give no response.

When they pull me to the outer world,

You hold me firm and keep me safe

In my own little aspiring world.

Mother, may my entire life breathe at Your Feet divine. ```

146. Ar katokal thakbe base

```

Ar katokal thakbe base

Amar lagi duar khule

Kato kaj se amar shire

Taito achi tomai bhule

Kanna jagao

Bhul bhenge dao

Nao amare ashesh kripa

Tomar mago kole tule ```

Translation

```

How long will You remain waiting for me,

Keeping Your door wide open?

I am involved in multifarious activities;

Therefore, I have completely forgotten You.

O Mother of mine,

Do awake the sea of tears inside my heart.

Do smash my false dream and accept me

With Your Compassion-light

And draw me towards Your Forgiveness-heart.

```

147. Sedin ki kabhu habe

```

Sedin ki kabhu habe

Sakaler mane habe mor man

Sakaler laje habe apaman

Amar amir habe bilupti

Mor abachetanar bhangbe supti

Asi nai shudhu amar lagiya

Subishal ei bhabe

```

Translation

```

Will that day ever dawn

When I shall feel honour in others’ honour,

I shall be proud in others’ glorious achievements?

Will that day ever dawn

When I shall cast a sorrowful glance

And be doomed to abysmal humiliation

And my ignorance ‘i’ will unreservedly be destroyed

By inconscience-life,

My inconscience ‘i’ will come out of inconscience-sea?

Will that day ever dawn when I shall feel

That in this vast world

I am not only for my little existence

But for all, born and yet unborn?

```

148. Prabhu e jiban bhar

```

Prabhu e jiban bhar

Bahite parina ar

Sanpibo tomar hate

Gagane badal nayane badal

Ghum nahi ankhi pate

Ogo parabar kamana amar

Milibo tomar sathe

```

Translation

```

Lord Supreme,

I can no longer bear the burden of my life.

To You I offer the heavy load

Of my burdening and burdened life.

Destruction-thunder I see in my sky,

I see in my eyes.

Sleep has left my eyes for good.

O Compassion-Ocean,

I, the little drop,

Desire to be inseparably one with You. ```

149. Jibaner sukh maraner dukh

```

Jibaner sukh maraner dukh

Micha maya kigo sakali

Hetha jato jani tato nahi jani

Tabu janibar akul pipasa

Hetha jato pai tato nahi pai

Andhar bhariya hriday akashe bijali ```

Translation

```

Is it all utterly false and illusory,

What I call happiness in life

And what I call suffering in death?

Here in this world, the more I know,

The more I do not know.

Knowledge-light and ignorance-night

Have equal hold on my life.

Yet I cherish an insatiable thirst for wisdom-light.

Here in my life, fulfilment and unfulfilment together live.

My heart-sky is all dark,

Yet I see there illumining flashes of lightning.

```

150. Paran bhariya dakini ma kali

```

Paran bhariya dakini ma Kali

Dekechi kebali mukhe

Taito tomare paini parane

Phirechi shunya buke

Nai taba dabi nai kona asha

Nahi chaha tumi sulalita bhasha

Chaha shudhu thaki sukhe

Sahanti je hai niyeche bidai

Kandi sada ami dukhe

```

Translation

```

Mother Kali, I have not invoked You

With my heart’s aspiring eagerness.

I have paid You only lip-service.

Therefore, I have failed to see You in my heart,

Which is all empty in Your absence.

You do not expect anything from me;

You make no demands whatsoever.

You do not want from my life the soulful message.

You want only one thing from me:

‘Happiness within and happiness without.’

Alas, where is peace, where is peace?

Peace has left my abode

And has made its abode elsewhere.

Here the life of sorrow and I

Now become inseparably one.

```

From:Sri Chinmoy,Illumination-Song and Liberation-Dance, part 3, Aum Press, 1976
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/isl_3