Illumination-Song and Liberation-Dance, part 4

151

```

Ami pathhara pathik

Ami dikhara nabik

Ami kajhara shramik

Ami ashahara premik

```

I am a lost traveller,

I am the sailor

Who knows not where

The destination is.

I am the labourer

Who has lost his job.

I am the lover

Devoid of hope-flames.

```

152

```

Amrita amrita amrita

Tumi atmar chira parichita

Amrita amrita amrita

Mor hridayer ankhi kusumita

```

Nectar-delight, nectar-delight, nectar-delight!

I have known you through Eternity.

Nectar-delight, nectar-delight, nectar-delight!

You are my heart’s eye fully blossomed.

```

153

```

Nupur baje napur baje

Khudra hiyar ankhi mahje

Kahar nupur kahar nupur

Amar prabhur amar prabhur

Nirabatar madhubane

Atmatyager putagane

```

Ankle bells ring, ankle bells ring

Inside the vision-eye of my tiny heart.

Whose ankle bells are these, whose?

My Lord’s, my Beloved Lord’s.

And now my Lord and I

Are in the nectar-forest of silence.

He is teaching me the songs

Of sacred self-giving.

```

154

```

Jara jete chai

Jete de tadere

Tora at tora ai

Toder lagiya amar swapan

Hridayer anginai

Tora ai tora ai

Niye jabo ami toder sabare

Asimer simanai

```

Let them go, those who want to go

You come, you come.

It is for you that I have

Garnered my sweet dreams

In my garden-heart.

You come, you come.

I shall, without fail,

Carry you all

To the shores

Of the infinite Beyond.

```

155

```

Sanga habe jiban khela

Tai heri aj alor bhela

Sanga habe jiban khela

Ami kritagyatar mela

Sanga habe jiban khela

```

My earth-pilgrimage

Is at its end.

Therefore today I see

The golden boat

Of light and delight.

My earth-pilgrimage

Will before long stop.

I have become today

Nothing but a humble gratitude-fair.

My earth-pilgrimage

Is fast terminating.

```

156

```

Tomar khamata jenechi

Tomar mamata peyechi

Tomar hriday henechi

Tomar charan bendhechi

```

I have seen, Lord, Your infinite Power,

I have received, Lord,

Your Compassion-Affection infinite.

Countless times I have hurt

Your Forgiveness-Heart,

And then I have bound

Your Divinity’s Immortality-Feet. ```

157

```

Shudhu sei din dekhi jibaner bhor

Aj heri shudhu maraner kalo ghor

Shudho sei din chila mor nam asha

Aj mor nam hatasha hriday bhasha

Shudhu sei din sonali swapan sathi

Charidhare aj bastabatar rati

```

Only the other day I saw

My life’s hallowed dawn.

Today I see Death’s tenebrous darkness.

Only the other day my name was hope.

Today I have become

A broken heart-world.

Only the other day my friend

Was a sweet and golden dream.

Today I see all-where

The reality-night.

```

158

```

Amar hriday pakhire pushibe

Amar ashru kanna rodhibe

Amar chapal parane khamibe

Amar khudita jibane tushibe

Ogo premamoy jani ami jani

Tabu kena hai taba prane hani

Bhule jai taba sudhamoy bani

Andhiyar ghore buke mor tani

```

You will keep and feed

My heart-bird.

You will stop my heart’s pangs

And extinguish the tear-flames of my eyes.

You will satisfy my hungry life,

O Lord of Compassion.

I know all these and many more

And yet why do I torture You,

Your heart of Compassion-Light?

I completely forget

Your nectar message.

I draw into my heart

The measureless gloom of ignorance-night.

```

159

```

Swarga duare taba madhumoy bani shunechi

Martyer ghare taba ankhi duti dekhechi

Swarge balechi ami shudhu toma lagiya

Martye ekhano uthi nai ami jagiya

```

I have heard your ambrosial message

At Heaven’s door.

I have seen your Feet divine

In earth’s home.

In Heaven I told You that

I was only for You.

Alas, on earth I am still

Enjoying imponderable

Ignorance-sleep. ```

160

```

Shuno shuno ogo bangshidhari

Taratari karte sabi pari

Taratari tomar charan

Dharte ami pari

Dukhi dharar hiya sathe

Kandte ami pari

Sukhi nabher hasi sathe

Haste ami pari

```

O Lord Krishna, O Flutist Supreme,

I can accomplish everything quite fast.

I can touch your Divinity-Feet in the twinkling

Of an eye.

I can in no time cry

With the bleeding Mother-Earth.

Again I can smile, sing and dance

With the ever-happy sky.

```

161

```

Ghure amar man

Bhul kare o bishwaprabhur

Chaina darashan

Ghure amar man

Hese khele andhar sathe

Kare alapan

Ghure amar man

Praner deshe bhalo lage

Moher parashan

```

My mind wanders,

Even through oversight.

It does not look at the world-Lord.

My mind wanders,

It plays, sings and talks

With darkness-night.

My mind wanders,

It enjoys the restive life

Of the vital attachment.

```

162

```

Tomar karuna amar kamana

Taba paye mor hiyar jatana

Taba sudha hasi amar sadhana

Mukti nritya amar eshana

Amare pheliya jeona jeona

Bhaba guha ghore amare rekhona

```

I long for Your Compassion.

I place my heart’s sorrowful pangs

At Your divine Feet.

I meditate to watch

And to implore Your Liberation

To grant me Your Liberation-Dance.

Do not go away

Leaving me here alone.

Do not leave me

Inside the tiny earth-cage.

```

163

```

Tomar lagi ratri jagi

Daki tomai daki

Phanki tomai deina kabhu

Amar paran ankhi

Tabu kena thako dure

Balbe ki hai more

Bandhbe kabe hiya amar

Asim kripar dore

```

I keep late hours for You at night.

You I call upon.

My heart’s eye

Will never deceive You.

Why do You remain away

At the farthest corner of the globe?

When will You

Bind my heart

With Your infinite

Compassion- Light? ```

164

```

Akash amai jane

Taito akash tane

Rabi amai jane

Taito rabi tane

Ami jani akash rabi

Ankbo ami tader chabi

Mora habo brahma bishnu shib

Pabe moder supta dharar jib

```

The sky knows me.

Therefore it pulls me

Towards it.

The sun knows me.

Therefore the sun invites me.

I know the sky and the sun.

I shall draw them,

The beautiful sky

And the dutiful sun,

We shall become

The three great Cosmic gods:

Brahma, Vishnu, Siva.

Our very existence-life on earth

Is for the great success and good progress

Of the world. ```

165

```

Tara amai dake

Tara amai tader shire rakhe

Tara amai tane

Puta hiyai ashru bhara gane

Jabo ami jabo

Tader sathe durnilimai

Shanti sudha khabo

```

They call me.

They place me on their heads.

They draw me towards them

With the tearful songs,

The sacred hearts.

I shall go with them

To the farthest blue

And enjoy with them

Boundless Peace

And boundless Nectar-Peace.

```

166

```

Tomar dekha pabar lagi

Sanpi nayan jale

Tomar paye basbo ami

Tomar kripar bale

Tumi amar chira apan

Tumi amar mukti swapan

Barek ese baso prabhu

Amar hriday dale

```

I offer my tears to You

Only to see You once.

I shall place myself at Your Feet

Only on the strength of Your Compassion-Light.

You are eternally mine.

You are my Liberation-dream.

O Lord Supreme, do descend

Into my lotus heart.

```

167

```

Tumi aso tumi haso

Mor hiya bane

Khama tumi karo prabhu

Mor achetane

Ami kandi dibanishi

Taba pada lagi

Taba madhu barabhoi

Ami sada jagi

```

You come and You smile

Inside my heart forest.

O Lord Supreme, You forgive me

Even when I am totally unaware of your forgiveness.

I cry all day and night to see your Feet.

I am always awake to receive

Your compassion blessing.

```

168

```

Esechi ei dharai eka

Pete tomar charan dekha

Pabo ki hai tomai prabhu

Amar jiban bhelai kabhu

Jani ami kangal

Tumi prabhu asim dayal

Ei bharasai achi eka

Esechi ei dharai eka

```

Alone have I come into the world

To see Your Lotus-Feet.

Will I ever see You, my Lord?

In my tiny life-boat I know

I am poor in spirit.

I know my greed knows no bounds.

Lord, You are Your infinite Compassion.

Your constant self-giving shows Your real name.

Therefore I know I am still able to live on earth.

I came into the world all alone.

```

169

```

Rakhal raja

Tomar smriti tomar priti

Jage mane jage

Tomai aji

Basbo bhalo hriday diye

Barai anurage

```

O King of the cowherds,

Your sweet reminiscences,

Your divine Love-Light,

Are sporting in my mind.

1 shall love You today with my heart’s oneness-joy.

To You I shall offer my life’s inner eagerness-cry.

```

170

```

Parabo mala tomar gale

Base tomar charan tale

Ekti shudhu balbo katha

Laho amar hiyar byatha

```

I shall place my heart’s garland of divine love,

O Lord, around Your Neck.

And then I shall sit at Your Feet Supreme.

Only one word I shall utter:

Receive my tearful life and my broken heart.

```

171

```

Ami nirmam

Ami naradham

Tabu magi taba sneha

Karuna plaban

Jiban sharan

Laho mor ama deha

```

I am ruthless.

I am the worst possible mortal on earth.

Yet I implore Your Compassion-Flood.

O Heaven of my Eternity’s soul,

Do accept my dark and ignorance body. ```

172

```

Ogo amar pather sathi

Rupantarer sudha bhati

Ami jabo tomar deshe

Puta madhur hasi hese

Tomar kripa amar jiban

Bedan bihin jyoti swapan

Niyecho mor maran rati

Ogo amar pather sathi

```

O my Friend,

You and I walk along Eternity’s Road.

You have the message of Transformation-Light.

I shall smile a sacred smile.

Your Compassion is my life.

My life knows no suffering,

It is flooded with Your Dream-Light.

Nowhere do I see the night of death.

```

173

```

Mahiruha mato

Habo ami nato

Khama giri mato

Habo unnata

Jananir mato

Sada jagrato

Dharanir mato

Bandana rato

```

Like the tree I shall bow down.

Like a mountain I shall forgive and keep my head high.

Like the mother I shall always remain awake,

Like the heart I shall always worship.

```

174

```

Dharar buke esechilam eka

Hayechi bahu tomar peye dekha

Tumi amar jiban sathi

Tuni amer maran bhati

Ami tomar mukta shishu

Merir kole jeman jishu

```

I came into the world all alone

But now I have become many.

Do You know why?

Precisely because I have seen You.

You are my eternal Friend.

You are the Light in my death.

I am Your liberation-child.

Like Jesus in the lap of Mary

I always stay in Your Lap.

```

175

```

Jiban maran

Hasi bedan

Ke janena ke janena

Ashar prabhat

Sanjher aghat

Ke janena ke janena

Moher bandhan

Mukti sadhan

Ke janena ke janena

```

Life and death,

Smile and tears —

Who is not aware of them?

Morning hopes and evening blows —

Who is not aware of them?

The bondage of attachment and liberation practice —

Who is not aware of them?

```

176

```

Shudhu asha shudhu asha shudhu asha

E jiban nadi mor sarba nasha

Nayan samukhe alik swapan

Pratikkhan prane shaman jatan

```

Hope, nothing but hope;

This life-river of mine

Is meeting with destruction.

My eyes see nothing but false dream.

My heart is tortured by ruthless death

Day in and day out. ```

177

```

Abichar charidike abichar

Anyayer anirban adhikar

E dharani pashaber pashu shala

Jani ami nahi habe kabhu ala

```

Injustice, injustice, injustice;

Injustice-night has enveloped the entire world.

This world is the playground of nothing

But animal kingdom.

I know, I know, illumination will always

Remain a far cry. ```

178

```

Chahi shudhu puta pran

Nahe dhan man

Chahi shudhu bodi gyan

Amrita sandhan

Habo ami tyageshwar

Udar mahan

```

I always long for a pure heart.

And not for name and fame.

I always look for confusion-sun.

I always look for Nectar Delight.

I shall only become the Lord Supreme of

Sacrifice-Light.

```

179

```

Je jibane nahi kono dosh

Se jibane param santosh

Je jibane kalo phanki nai

Se jiban pai prabhu padi thai

```

The life that is empty of dark crimes

Enjoys satisfaction-delight.

The life that knows no deception-darkness

Receives blessing light

Of the Absolute Supreme. ```

180

```

He mor jiban nadi

Chalo tumi nirabadhi

Maha parabar pane

Amiyer sandhane

Mithile je taba trisha

Ghuchaibe pran nisha

```

O my life-boat

You always run and run

Towards the great ocean of the unknown

For Nectar-Delight.

The moment your thirst is quenched

My life of darkness will cease once and for all. ```

181

```

Ogo amar praner durbalata

Tumi chalo amar sathe sathe

Taito amai hane biphalata

Tumi jedin jabe amai chere

Sedin habo purna saphalata

```

O my weakness-life,

You always follow me.

Therefore, frustration and failure constantly

Torture me.

My life will become a success and glory

The day I can enjoy your absence-might.

```

182

```

Ami nutan sebak chai

Ami nutan hriday chai

Ami nutan swapan chai

Ami nutan srishti chai

Ami nutan mukti chai

Ami nutan hasi chai

```

I wish to be a new servitor.

I wish to have a new heart.

I wish to be flooded with a new dream.

I wish to envision a new creation.

I long for a new liberation.

I soulfully desire a new smile.

```

183

```

Jyotir sathe thakbo ami

Timir sathe thakbona

Swapan sathe thakbo ami

Bastabatai raibona

Adhir praner maya jale

Amai je ar bandhbona

```

I shall stay with Light,

Never with darkness.

I shall stay with sweet dreams,

And never with hard reality.

I shall no longer bind myself

With the restive vital.

Silence-life I shall invite. ```

184

```

Ekla chalar ananda dheu

Habo ami prabhu

Maya moher timir jale

Thakbona ar kabhu

Ami habo amar hiyar

Puta swapan bhor

Dakbe amai bhalo bese

Rupantarer dor

```

Lord Supreme, I shall become the wave of Delight.

By walking all alone,

I shall no more walk along the road of

Attachment-night.

I shall become the dawn of your heart.

With love from above, the door of transformation

Beckons me. ```

185

```

Ami jabo eka

Ami jabo

Dekha pabo eka

Dekha pabo

Tabo padatal

Mor trisha

Dure jao chale

Moha nisha

```

I shall go alone.

I shall see You alone.

Your lotus Feet shall quench my thirst.

O attachment-illusion-night

Away you go. ```

186

```

Bahudur hate esechi

Bahu asha buke rekhechi

Hastashar prane henechi

Muktir lagi chalechi

```

I have come from afar.

In my heart I have collected countless hope-flowers.

I have struck the life of wild despair.

I am running to see the shore of Liberation-Delight.

```

187

```

Bandhu amar ghor abhiman

Bandhu amer baddha paran

Bandhu amar mithya pahar

Chaudike mor shaman andhar

```

A sulking life has become my true friend.

A narrow and tight life has become my friend.

A false mountain has become my friend.

Within and without I see the darkness of death. ```

188

```

Bhagaban Bhagaban Bhagaban

Niye jao mor shata abhiman

Bhagaban Bhagaban Bhagaban

Dao more taba nil tari khan

Bhagaban Bhagaban Bhagaban

Kripa karo udar mahan

```

My Lord, My Lord, My Lord,

Do take away my sulking nature.

My Lord, My Lord, My Lord,

Do grant me your blue boat.

My Lord, My Lord, My Lord,

Your Compassion-Light I soulfully desire.

```

189

```

Jalo jalo jalo

Amar hiyar nibir andhare

Heri jena taba shaman bijayi alo

Jalo jalo jalo

Kanu priya banshi swapaner hasi

Amare basibe bhalo

```

O kindle the flame of aspiration inside the depth

Of my darkness-heart.

I long for the light that is the conqueror of death.

O kindle the flame of dream-smile and grant me

The flute of my beloved Krishna.

I need the Love-divine.

```

190

```

Karbona bhoi karbona

Bandhbona ar bandhbona

Mithya mohe dakbona

Jiban juddhe harbona

```

I shall not fear.

I shall not bind.

I shall not welcome attachment forces.

I shall not lose on the battlefield of life.

```

191

```

Bhalobese hasi mukhe

Baki ami jare

Se je nahi kabhu ase

Mor hiya dare

Bhalobese puta prane

Jare ami chai

Chhute chale jai dure

Tare nahi pai

```

To whomever I call with a smile, “Come to me,”

I always get a strong refusal.

My heart’s door remains sad and lonely.

Whenever I write welcome with a pure heart;

I meet with a strong refusal.

He runs away.

```

192

```

Prabhur bijoy habe

Jadi o janina kabe

Mor parajoy habe

Jadi o janina kabe

Dharani dhanya habe

Jadi o janina kabe

Madhumoy sab habe

Jadi o janina kabe

```

My Lord’s victory will take place

Although I know not when.

My defeat will take place

Although I do not know when.

This world will one day be blessed and fulfilled.

Although I know not when.

Everything will be sweet and ambrosial

Although I know not when.

```

193

```

Tomar sathe tomar pathe chalbo

Tomar paye matha nata karbo

Swapan hiyai bandhbo tomai bandhbo

Chira apan kare tomai rakhbo

```

I shall walk with You along the road.

I shall bow down only to You

With my dream heart.

I shall bind You.

I shall keep You eternally as my own, very own. ```

194

```

Ashar jibane krandan

Swapan parane bandhan

Jibaner bhore maran

Charidike nache bedan

```

The life of hope

Is tortured by bitter tears.

The life of dream

Is devoured by wondrous night.

At the dawn of life

Is the stark frown of death.

Destruction-blows are dancing all around. ```

195

```

Sabai amar bhai

Mukti giti dibas rate

Amra sabai gai

Sabai amar mita

Amra nachi alor nachan

Hase bishwa pita

```

Everyone is my brother.

We sing the song of liberation together

All day and night.

All are my friends.

We dance the dance of Light.

The Lord Supreme of the creation vast smiles at us.

```

196

```

Amar ashar nabhe

Tomare heribo jabe

Labhibo ananda sudha

Mitibe juger khuda

Ogo anupam kotha tumi balo

Tomar karuna bale niye more chalo

```

I shall receive Nectar-Delight.

My agelong hunger will be fed

Only when I see

You in the firmament of my hope.

O Beauty unfathomable,

Do tell me where You are,

Where do You hide?

Can You not exercise Your infinite

Compassion-Light

And take me where You are?

```

197

```

Amar hiyar gan

Nahi habe abasan

Tomar kripar ban

Nahi habe abasan

Chetonar abhijan

Nahi habe abasan

```

The songs of my heart

Will never come to an end.

The flood of Your Compassion

Will never stop.

The journey of Consciousness-Light

Will never come to an end.

```

198

```

Maha satyer anulsandelhan

Parama mukti amrita pan

Ghor mithyar chira abasan

Jachiche amar trishita paran

```

My life of eternal thirst I have become.

I desire only three things:

The discovery of highest Truth,

The taste of the highest Liberation,

The immediate extinction of falsehood-life.

```

199

```

Tomare ami charibana

Basana ghare rahibona

Simar dake chalibona

Dinata sathe kandibona

```

I shall not leave You.

I shall not remain inside the room

Of darkness-desire.

I shall not respond to the call of the finite.

I shall not cry with poverty, inner or outer. ```

200

```

Andhiyar charidike andhiyar

Nahi heri hasi pran sushamar

Abasad hiya hane abasad

Madhu khama nahi shudhu aparadh

Ami ar byatha pran duibhai

Swarge martye amader nahi thai

```

Darkness all around, darkness.

I see not the life of beauty anywhere.

A heart of frustration night tortures me.

Sweet forgiveness nowhere exists.

I see only a mountain of mistakes

And a sea of punishment.

A heart of sorrow and I are two brothers.

Neither the heaven nor the earth cares to grant us

A little shelter.

```

From:Sri Chinmoy,Illumination-Song and Liberation-Dance, part 4, Agni Press, New York, 1976
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/isl_4