My Lord's Lotus-Feet versus my devotion-heart, part 1

1.

```

My Lord,

Now that my love for You

Is strong once more,

And my faith in You

Is strong once more,

I have decided to address

All my petitions and supplications

To Your Lotus-Feet once more. ```

2.

```

My Lord,

When I pray and meditate,

I most lovingly clasp

The Smiles of Your Eye.

Will You not clasp

The tears of my heart

In return?

```

3.

```

My Lord,

You do know the depth

Of my love, devotion

And surrender.

I must say, they all come

From the depth

Of my sincerity-heart.

My Lord, do You

Agree with me?

"My child, I do, I do."

```

4.

```

My Lord,

One day You inject

Elephant-confidence in me.

Next day You inject

Lion-confidence in me.

This way, alternately,

You give me

The elephant-lion-confidence

Early in the morning.

But, alas, as the day advances,

My confidence disappears.

I become an object

Of pity-insecurity.

```

5.

```

My Lord, fulfil me.

Fulfil me, my Lord.

Why delay any further?

```

6.

```

My Lord,

Inwardly I may argue with You

In season and out of season

But, rest assured,

If You are ever in need of me,

I will immediately throw myself

Heart and soul

At Your Feet. ```

7.

```

My Lord,

I know I argue with You

All the time inwardly,

But I know You are the only One

To take notice of me,

You are the only One

To take care of me,

You are the only One

To tolerate me,

You are the only One

Who has not lost

Even an iota of hope

In me.

```

8.

```

My Lord,

Whether You give me permission

Or not,

I shall go here, there

And everywhere

Telling the whole world

That I am Yours,

Solely Yours. ```

9.

```

My Lord,

Now it has become

An open secret.

Every day we barter:

You give me

Your Compassion-Eye;

I give You

My gratitude-heart. ```

10.

```

My Lord,

I stand in front

Of the world-assembly

And pray and meditate,

And speak so highly of You.

Can You not secretly come to me

And whisper a sweet word to me —

Even once? ```

11.

```

My Lord,

You have told me time and again

That when I am desperately

In need of You,

You will come to my rescue.

My Lord,

I need You badly.

How is it that You are neglecting

Your Promise to me?

```

12.

```

My Lord,

Every day

I am sending my heart-letters

To You

And asking You when both of us

Will meet once again.

Perhaps You do not know

Or You do not care to know

Of my heart's excruciating pangs.

```

13.

```

My Lord,

I am swimming

In the sea of ecstasy,

For You are deeply enjoying

My heart-garden.

I am commanding my eyes

Not to lose sight of You,

Even for a fleeting second. ```

14.

```

My Lord,

Everybody has special possessions.

My only priceless possession:

Your Forgiveness-Feet

Inside my heart-home.

```

15.

```

My Lord,

Sorrows attend my eyes

And tears attend my heart

When I fail to be intoxicated

By Your outer Beauty

And Your inner Fragrance. ```

16.

```

My Lord,

I admit that I have made

Most serious blunders

And I admit that my faults

Are innumerable.

That does not mean

That You cannot overlook

My faults.

That does not mean

That You cannot forgive me.

If You cannot overlook my faults,

If You cannot forgive me,

How are You going to preserve

Your reputation that You are

The Compassion-Forgiveness-Lord

Of the fallen? ```

17.

```

My Lord,

My outer life is fast asleep,

But my inner life is fully awake.

Do not abandon me because of

My outer life's misbehaviour.

There shall come a time,

I am sure,

When my outer life

Will follow my inner life

Happily and proudly. ```

18.

```

My Lord,

We know that earthly happiness

Is of short duration.

How is it that

We do not increase every day

The speed

Of our climbing aspiration?

```

19.

```

My Lord,

Every day I want to wash

Your Feet

With my heart's gratitude-tears.

Nothing else ever concerns me.

```

20.

```

My Lord,

I want to adore

Your Compassion-Feet

Sleeplessly and breathlessly.

My Lord,

I want to enjoy indifference

To all else.

```

21.

```

My Lord,

My entire being is burning

With love, devotion

And surrender for You.

I simply cannot understand

How You can remain aloof. ```

22.

```

My Lord,

Now that You have allowed me

To gain Your Compassion,

Please never allow my love

To wane.

```

23.

```

My Lord,

I am unable to steal Your Heart

With my love

Because Your Heart is too vast.

Since my heart is so tiny,

Can You not steal my heart

With Your Love infinite?

I am sure You can do it

Easily.

```

24.

```

My Lord,

When I serve You,

I pray to You,

Do not pay me with Your

Affection-Gratitude-Smile.

What I need from You

Is Your express Command

To please You always

In Your own Way.

```

25.

```

My Lord,

Why do both of us boast

Unnecessarily?

Who chose whom first

Is of no consequence.

As long as we love each other

Unreservedly,

Let us put an end

To our sweet dispute.

```

26.

```

My Lord,

You have allowed me

To remain seated at Your Feet

All the time.

What an extraordinary favour

I have received from You!

Now I need

Another favour from You:

Please destroy

My shamelessly towering pride

Immediately.

```

27.

```

My Lord,

You have given me the capacity

To serve You

Day in and day out.

If You want to bless me in return,

Then I pray to You to grant me

Your Ocean-Delight as a reward

And nothing else. ```

28.

```

My Lord,

I want to be deeply attached

To Your Compassion-Eye

And Forgiveness-Feet

Exactly the way a desiring man

Is attached to his desire-life. ```

29.

```

My Lord,

Your Love has entrapped my eyes,

My heart, my life and my all.

May I be allowed to entrap

The hallowed dust of Your Feet?

```

30.

```

My Lord,

I know what I offer You

Is always small, very small,

Yet Your Heart overflows

With Nectar-Delight.

I am prepared

To come into the world

Again and again

Only to fathom Your Love

Unfathomable. ```

31.

```

My Lord,

Why are You so indifferent

To me today?

"My child,

I do not even know the meaning

Of indifference.

Therefore, your opinion of Me

Does not apply to Me." ```

32.

```

My Lord,

Today I want You to avoid me,

The impurity of my presence.

I am really ashamed

To call You my own.

"My child,

If I do not accept you

As you are,

Then how can I claim you

To be My own, very own?" ```

33.

```

My Lord,

I have been waiting

For a long time

To hear from You.

Why do You not ask for me?

Does it cost You anything? ```

34.

```

My Lord,

Time and again

You are commanding me

To come to You

Not as a beggar, but as a prince,

Your prince.

My Lord, are You sure

You mean what You are saying? ```

35.

```

My Lord,

I have forgotten

The beauty, fragrance,

Majesty and divinity

Of Your Feet.

Do run towards me

Fast, faster, fastest.

Your absence

Is stabbing my heart.

```

36.

```

My Lord,

There is no real reason for me

To torture You

For Your outer attention.

Alas, alas, yet why...?

```

37.

```

My Lord,

Since I am not pleasing You

In Your own Way,

Please do me the greatest favour:

Please hand me over

To the darkest oblivion-night. ```

38.

```

My Lord,

I live in earth-bound time,

But I am certain that a mere glance

From Your Compassion-Eye

Can chase away the power of time

That has enslaved my life. ```

39.

```

My Lord,

You have shown me many things,

But out of Your infinite Compassion,

Do show me Your own Path

Through my life.

```

40.

```

My Lord,

I beg of You to give me

The capacity to ceaselessly cry

At Your Lotus-Feet

Until all my voice is lost.

```

41.

```

My Lord,

It seems to me

That You have ceased

To care for me.

If I am right,

Do show me the way

And if I am wrong,

Then prove it. ```

42.

```

My Lord,

If I jump into Your Arms,

Will You hold me

Or drop me?

"My child,

If you believe in your courage,

Then I believe in My Concern."

```

43.

```

My Lord,

I have purified my mind,

I have widened my heart.

Is there anything more

You expect?

"My child,

Only one thing more:

Patience." ```

44.

```

My Lord,

I have given myself

Another name:

Earth-bound suffering.

"My child,

If you do not mind,

I can add

One more name:

Heaven-free delight."

```

45.

```

My Lord,

Every day I sing

Your Victory-Songs

For at least four hours.

May I know from You

What You do for me?

"My child,

You do your work

And I do My Work.

I energise your mind

And inspire your heart."

```

46.

```

My Lord,

You ask me to keep

My consciousness

One inch above my head

When I meditate.

Is there any reason?

"My child,

Your mind is inside your head.

I want you to remain

Outside your mind-jungle,

At least when you meditate

On Me." ```

47.

```

My Lord,

My love does not please You.

My devotion does not please You.

My surrender does not please You.

Is there anything I have

That can please You?

"My child,

Cultivate more sincerity.

Cultivate more eagerness."

```

48.

```

My Lord,

My desire-life who chose,

If not You?

"My child,

If you think that way,

Then I have something new

For you:

Aspiration-heart."

```

49.

```

My Lord,

I am proud

Of my gratitude-heart-tears.

Do You have anything

To be proud of?

"My child,

I have nothing

To be proud of.

From time immemorial

I have been performing

My self-imposed Task:

I love you.

I care for you." ```

50.

```

My Lord,

You have sent for me

And I am now here.

"But, My child,

I have asked your whole family

To come.

You and your body only are here.

Where is the rest of your family —

Vital, mind and heart?

How is it

That you have come to Me

Leaving them behind?

Alas, I wanted to take

Your whole family

Together with Me

To My new Home:

Satisfaction." ```

51.

```

My Lord,

Everything is topsy-turvy

In this world.

I am supposed to run after You.

You are running after me

Instead. ```

52.

```

My Lord,

Have You any idea how beautiful

Your Compassion-Eye is?

My Lord,

Have You any idea how powerful

Your Protection-Hands are?

My Lord,

Have You any idea how merciful

Your Lotus-Feet are?

My Lord,

Have You any idea how blissful

Your Satisfaction-Heart is?

"My child,

I do not know.

But if you think

That I should know,

Then let Me hear it from you."

My Lord,

On one condition,

I expect Your undivided attention.

"Of course, My child, of course."

```

From:Sri Chinmoy,My Lord's Lotus-Feet versus my devotion-heart, part 1, Agni Press, 1998
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/llf_1