Laugh, laugh! Mind-burden gone
1.
Do you know that this morning I went to a mind reader?
— I am sure he charged you one-quarter price!2.
Doctor, please tell me when I should take the aspirin — before I get the headache or after I get the headache?
— Take it neither before nor after.3.
You silly dentist! You have pulled out the wrong tooth!
— You silly fellow! You have no patience. I am coming to the right one.4.
Twenty dollars! Is it not too much to pull out a tiny tooth from my little child?
— Your "little mouth" had a big cry, and three of my patients left!5.
I have changed my mind completely.
— Tell me, is it for the better or for the worse?6.
By this time you should have realised that I have a big heart!
— Indeed! I have also realised that you have a big stomach as well.7.
I don't believe everything that I hear.
— I don't blame you. But, like me, repeat everywhere everything that you hear.8.
Can you tell me who composed, "O, Say Can You See?"
— Just an ordinary eye specialist.9.
You have been promising and promising to me that one of these days you will come to my place.
— I see, tomorrow I shall. Don't worry. I shall definitely come to your place, either by plane or by car or by foot.10.
Master, what shall I do for my dream to come true?
— Wake up and don't go to sleep!11.
Can you not stop your dog from staring at me?
— Why should I? He is enjoying seeing one of the members of his own family.12.
Why did you kill your poor wife?
— No other way. Too much money was involved in the divorce.13.
When was the father of America born?
— On George Washington's birthday.14.
How is it that you do not know that Columbus found America?
— Alas, I did not know that America was ever lost.15.
Sister, your husband is a professor. Do you know which book he likes best?
— Unfortunately, I do not. But I do know which book I like best.
Which book do you like best?
— My husband's checkbook.16.
What is the speciality of Washington, D.C.?
— Some people are afraid of being discovered, while others are dying to be discovered.17.
Why do you like marriage so much and not divorce at all?
— Because divorce costs much more.18.
I do not like flowers at all.
— Why? Everybody likes flowers. What is wrong with you?
Because they are always found in beds and nowhere else.19.
I love you so much.
— Why?
Because you have a veiled mouth and an unveiled heart.20.
Can you give me Lincoln's Gettysburg Address?
— Sorry, I don't have it. But the White House has.21.
I went on a strict diet for three weeks.
— So what happened?
Alas, I lost three precious weeks!22.
How can anybody prove that I have taken too many calories?
— Easily I can prove. Your fat will expose them.23.
Why are you collecting all old, useless magazines?
— Because in the near future I am planning to be a dentist.24.
Have you read George Bernard Shaw and Mark Twain?
— No. But I have red T-shirts.
Alas, my barber is the worst possible haircutter.
— But he definitely tells you the latest, juiciest stories!25.
Hello, is this room service?
— Yes.
Can you send me a spoon?
— Just wait a little. Somebody is using it.26.
How is it, Pulak, that you are wearing one sock? Have you lost the other one?
— No, I just found this one.From:Sri Chinmoy,Laugh, laugh! Mind-burden gone, Agni Press, New York, 1991
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/lmb