One brother replaces another at the Ashram

When my eldest brother Hriday came back to Chittagong for a few months, my middle brother Chitta went to replace him at the Ashram. This is how it happened. Hriday had promised my mother that if she or our father died, he would return for a few months to take care of the family. When my father passed away, Hriday came back to Chittagong with the permission of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. They gave permission so that my brother could keep his promise.

When Hriday arrived, my mother was very sick. The family knew that she would soon follow my father to the other world. Hriday said to my mother, "I will stay here as long as you want me to."

She said, "Then stay for a year." He was so happy that she only said one year and not more.

Then Chitta wanted to go and join the Ashram. He said to my mother, "Now that my eldest brother has come back, I would like to go to the Ashram."

My mother was so sad. She said to him, "Can you not see how sick I am? I am dying. It is only a matter of months. Will you not feel sad if I die in your absence? And I will feel miserable if you are not here with me."

Chitta immediately said, "All right, I will not go."

My mother asked him, "Did you buy the ticket?"

He said, "Yes, I bought the ticket to go on such and such a date, but definitely I am not going. I will cancel it. I do not want you to die in my absence." So Chitta returned the ticket.

My mother was so happy that Chitta had postponed his departure, but she knew that after she passed away, all her children would go to the Ashram.

So Chitta totally forgot about the date on which he had planned to leave, and he did not mention it again. But my mother did not forget. Two weeks later, when that particular day came, the day he was supposed to go, my mother was so sick. She was lying down. Even then she had to think of him. She called my brother to her side and said, "You are not going today?"

Chitta said, "How can I go? You told me not to go, so I cancelled the ticket. I wanted to fulfil your last desire."

My mother said to him, "No, I want to fulfil your desire. Who am I? I am only an ordinary human being. I want you to go, I want you to go."

My brother said, "I have returned the train ticket."

My mother said, "I want you to buy another ticket and go. I want you to go to the Divine Mother. I am your physical mother, but I know your Divine Mother has to take care of all of us."

That was her heart's wish. She said, "Now that your eldest brother is here, and your other brothers are here, this is the time for you to go and be in the presence of the Divine Mother. You should go, you should go."

So my mother compelled my brother Chitta to go to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. This is my mother's heart. He wanted to please her and she wanted to please him. You see what a compassionate mother I had. And he went on that day. A few months later she passed away.

From:Sri Chinmoy,My brother Chitta, Agni Press, 1998
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/mbc