Only friend, best friends, fair-weather friends9

I have all along been telling you that there is only one Friend. His Name is the Supreme. Again, you have two best friends. One best friend is your Master, if you have a Master, and the other best friend is your soul, if you feel that you have a soul. Your only Friend is the Supreme, our Lord Beloved Supreme. Then, your best friends are your Master and your soul. The rest of the world you can take as ordinary friends or fair-weather friends.

Among the fair-weather friends, there are some who are good. Among the fair-weather friends, there are some who are trustworthy. Again, there are some fair-weather friends who are simply horrible. As soon as they hear that you have done something good, inside them is a burning fire. Outwardly they smile, they congratulate you; but inwardly, jealousy kills them. Some will go to the length of tolerating your achievements, your loftiest achievements, while others — very few — have no jealousy, no insecurity. They say, “How I wish I could also do that! How I wish I could also shine like him!” Those friends are rare.

Always remember: the Supreme, the soul and the Master.

When it comes to the soul-friend and the Master-friend, they are delighted and excited by your achievements. They claim that your achievements are their own, whether they are right or not. When you do something great, I immediately claim your achievement as my own. Perhaps I am greedy, or perhaps I have established that kind of oneness with you, with your soul, heart, mind, vital and body. Of course, your soul is your possessor. The soul is stuck with the body, vital, mind and heart, and specially with the mind, vital and body. The poor soul is like the mother dragging the unruly children. Again, the soul definitely claims the achievements of the children.

From the Supreme we get our capacities, so He has to claim our achievements. When we do something extraordinary, it is because His unconditional Grace descends on us — “unconditional” is the right word. You may say, “Oh, I practised for hours, for days and months. How is it that I have to give credit to the Supreme?” But how were you able to practise for days and months? It was precisely because the Grace of the Supreme descended from Above and entered into you.

Unconditional Grace is like that. When we do something, we say, “I practised so hard for such a long time. Why do I have to give the credit to the Supreme?” But the fact is that we were able to practise, whereas others could not practise. They did not have the capacity to practise. The capacity that we have got has come undoubtedly from our Source, from the Supreme. Always we have to go to the Supreme as the Source of all the good qualities that we have, that we embody and that we are trying to reveal and manifest.

I always tell you that I am not your priest, but I am your oneness-heart and oneness-soul, oneness-soul. If you have bad qualities, if you have been doing something wrong, you know it. You write to me immediately and tell me, and I offer you my infinite compassion and affection. When you confess something, my love for you immediately increases, my concern for you immediately increases. I identify myself with you wholeheartedly. I am one with your so-called weaknesses, and I try to help you with all my heart, with all my soul, with my heart’s love for you, with my soul’s concern for you. You do not have to worry. When you say something, I am there to hear it. One person is there to be of service to you, to be of help to you, and that is your Master. When you tell me that you have done something wrong, you get more love from me, more concern and more oneness from me. You definitely feel that there is someone who is trying to help you, someone who is also struggling with your problems.

But if you have been doing something wrong for twenty years or thirty years or forty years, do not try to conquer it all at once. That will tell upon your health. It will disturb your mind. You may revolt and say, “How sincerely I tried to conquer this weakness! How is it that God has not cured me?” Then you may turn against God. Immediately your love for God will disappear, your devotion to God will disappear. Everything divine will disappear. For years and years you have been doing something wrong, and then you think that overnight God will cure you. But God has His own Hour. We human beings have ruined so many hours by doing something wrong. But God has His own Hour to save us.

In life it is always advisable to take the positive approach. We should say, “It could have been worse, it could have been worse. I could have been infinitely worse than I am now. Now I have stopped doing the wrong thing. I have now taken the right course. Before I was walking on and on along the wrong course, but suddenly I stopped.” If we have walked for years along a wrong course, and now we are walking on the right course that is a great consolation.

Again, if the thoughts and memories of the wrong course come to your mind, only try to decrease them, decrease them, decrease them. Always try to decrease negative thoughts little by little. Overnight if you want to conquer wrong forces, you can become practically insane. And what is worse, you may lose faith. You may say, “I cried and cried and cried to God to save me, to protect me, to illumine me, but He did not come!” God will say that He has His own Time. Then we revolt against God, because our desires are not fulfilled. We feel that we are sincere, and definitely we are sincere. When the farmer sows the seed, is he not sincere? But if he expects that the following day the seed will germinate and immediately he will get a bumper crop, it is absurd.

God has His own Time to cure us, but we have to walk along the right path. Otherwise, our sincerity lasts for only one day, and then we revolt against God, we do not think of God, and finally we give up the spiritual life. All this happens out of frustration. We want to become good, but by hook or by crook we cannot become good. It is by loving God more, by loving spirituality more, by loving ourselves more, that we can become good. If we love ourselves more, we shall have to care for the lotus or rose within us. The lotus petals or rose petals should not be destroyed. Overnight we must not try to conquer all the wrong forces.

If you have been taking tea and coffee for years and years and you want to stop, then gradually you can decrease the quantity. You are spiritual people, so you do not smoke, you do not drink. But let us say that you take coffee eight or ten times a day. Some people do it — otherwise they do not get inspiration! Just decrease, decrease the number of times.

Like that, anything negative that you see inside yourself, just decrease, decrease. One day it will all be gone, gone. But do not try to overcome weaknesses overnight. As we do not collect divine power, divine love and divine blessings overnight, even so it is not possible to get rid of negative qualities overnight. Slowly, steadily and confidently we have to go forward. The fact that you are on the spiritual path is something most significant. Many have given up. Always be proud of yourself that you are still on the path. That is the right track.

As long as you are on the spiritual path, you are on the right track. Slowly you can go forward. Some people can run fast, some faster, some fastest. Others are going slowly, but their destination is also secure. Your destination is secure. To all my spiritual children I am saying, your destination is secure if you are on the path. If you are not on the path, at that time you become your own boat, you become your own goal. But now you are the journey, you are the pilgrim. And your Goal is destined, destined.

Again and again I am advising you to be very careful. Do not mix with the negative forces. Do not bring poison into your system. God has enemies. The sun has enemies. The moon has enemies. Everybody has enemies! But if we pay attention to our enemies, then we are only weakening ourselves. We are only going away from our own divinity. If someone is speaking ill of your path or ill of your Master or ill of your spiritual life, absolutely avoid that person. Take it as a serious spiritual mistake to mix with negative forces. Do not burden yourself with this kind of mistake.

Again I am coming back to the subject of friends. Your only Friend is the Supreme. Your best friends are your own soul and your Master. These best friends will always think of you as their own, very own. Every moment they are carrying you, carrying you to the Highest, to the Absolute Supreme. And I see that among ordinary friends also there are categories. Some friends can be very good, very good at times. Again, tomorrow jealousy may come, insecurity may come. A friend can be a victim to those weaknesses. You also may be a victim to jealousy and insecurity. As I have been saying for the last thirty years, when you feel that you are down, when you are low in spirit, speak to a friend, to someone who is in a high consciousness. And if the other person goes down, then you will help him.

One day a disciple said to me, “Guru, someone is telling me please, please to pray for him. He is not doing well. Now what shall I do?”

I said, “You see, he has such faith in you, such love for you! The very fact that he has told you means that he has now got such strength. You will give him more strength, and nothing will happen to him. He has told you, and you have told me.” Now that disciple is doing very, very well. It was not that he knew his friend would tell me about his problem — far from it! But he felt that his friend would help his present situation. His friend has a very, very good heart. His friend told me the story, so I said, “You do not have to worry. You have told me. Now both of us will give him strength.” And that person is doing so well now.

But when you see that a friend of yours has descended, you have to be very careful. Somebody may descend spiritually and ask you for help. If you are his friend, then you are the right person. Again, somebody may descend and try to take you away from the spiritual life. That individual is descending and trying to take one or two more persons with him. You have to be so careful. When somebody is descending and asking for your help, you are the right one to help. But if he is not asking — on the contrary, if he is descending and trying to take you away from the spiritual life — then he is only trying to justify his action.

Recently a disciple descended and wanted to take somebody else away from the path. Luckily, a family member of the second person took the side of spirituality, and he became furious at the culprit. His concern saved his relative’s spiritual life. Again, when someone descends, you have to see whether that person needs your help or wants your help. Instead of taking your help, that person may be trying to take you away. In that case he will say, “I am leaving, so you also come with me.” You have to be very careful! That kind of friendship you do not need. Please see if the person needs your help to stay on the path. Do not keep the friend who is trying to recruit you to leave the path because he says the path is not good, the Master is not good.

In this particular case, one disciple gave up the spiritual life, and his friend was suffering. Luckily, that friend had a family member who absolutely took the side of spirituality. Now the one who was struggling when his friend descended is so grateful.

You have to be sure that there is no harm involved. If somebody needs your help, he may say, “Save me, save me, save me!” But if the person does not need your help — on the contrary, if he is trying to take you down — then you are digging your own grave if you mix with that person. Of course, for him it is not a matter of going “down”; he only wants to take you away. Always think of the friend who is lifting you up, and whom you are in a position to lift. You have the capacity to help him because that particular friend needs your help, and you feel there is no harm. This is called mutual help.

If somebody is trying to take you away from your spiritual life in the name of giving you good advice, immediately kick the idea and kick the person out of your mind. Friends who are in our boat, who are in our family, are real friends. Among those if some are struggling and need your help, go to help them. But while struggling if they decide to give up the spiritual life and they want you to join them, then you are absolutely the wrong person, wrong person, wrong person. You have to save yourself. You came here to take advice from me, and not to take advice from others. Good people will be on earth to save those who are struggling to remain on the path. Alas, there will be some who decide to join the negative party.

You have to be very, very selective. Be careful in choosing your friends, because so-called friends can take you into the abysmal abyss.

Again, friends can lift you high, higher, highest, and you can do the same for them. If you are a good disciple, you will carry your friend to his own highest.

Today I am speaking so much about friendship, friendship, friendship. You have to see where you stand with regard to your friends. Today’s friend can tomorrow become your worse than the worst enemy. Millions of sad stories we know. Again, on rare occasions, enemies become friends. Enemies become friends once in a blue moon. But friends easily become enemies. Every second we hear those stories. We cannot make any comparison between friends becoming enemies and enemies becoming friends. In your own life, you will see how many friends have deserted you and gone out of your life, and how many so-called enemies have become friends. Alas, there is no comparison! To get one enemy to become your friend is the most difficult task. But friends can immediately change — immediately.

At what point you may lose a friendship, you have no idea. Do something very good, and see how jealousy comes into the picture, insecurity comes into the picture. Then, immediately, friendship disappears. You are marching and running, marching and running fast, faster, fastest towards your goal, and you thought that your friends would appreciate and admire you. Alas, instead of appreciating you, they may start deserting you. Be very careful with friends, very, very careful. Smiling, without offering any concern or taking any responsibility: that, everybody can do.

22 January 2002, Rex Hotel, Ho Chi Minh City, Viet Nam

From:Sri Chinmoy,Our sweetest oneness, Agni Press, 2012
Sourced from