Remember that all the time you waste in thinking of what others are doing or what they are thinking of you could be used for your own self-discovery. Also, at the time when you are thinking of others, please feel that I am not your Guru. If you are thinking of others out of doubt or fear or jealousy or insecurity, or for any negative reason, imagine at that time that you have changed your Guru; somebody else has become your Guru.
We feel that if somebody appreciates us, we will be inspired, we will be able to go faster. But very often when we receive appreciation, our pride enters, and the ego comes forward. While others are extolling us to the skies, unconsciously they are feeding us to two formidable enemies: our pride and our ego. It may take us years to conquer this ego and pride.
When others admire us we have to be extremely careful. We have to detach ourselves. If we have done something good, we should immediately feel that we are not the doer, but that the Supreme in us has done it. The Supreme always deserves appreciation. If we have done something extraordinary, immediately we must feel, "I am just an instrument. The Supreme in me did it and I have given Him full credit and full responsibility." When others speak ill of us, we must not lose all our inspiration and aspiration and allow depression to enter. At that time also, we have to feel that we are just instruments. We must always try to separate our actions from their results. We must accept the experience, but not claim it as our very own. If we are one with the fruits of the action, then immediately ego or frustration will come forward.
At the end of our life, when we stand before God, He will ask us some questions. At that time, we will have to answer for ourselves. Those other people are not going to answer on our behalf.
The best thing is to think of God always and to feel that He is thinking of you. Feel that you are standing in front of a mirror. Look at yourself and see what is in you. Look at yourself in a mirror and immediately you will see the difference between the life you have left behind and the life you are living now, between how you spent the morning and how you are going to spend the evening. This feeling about yourself will come directly from God. At that time, let the Supreme judge you; let Him think of you.
If you always think of God, God will think of you and appreciate you. In the outer life, when two persons love each other, they are always thinking of each other and of what the other person is thinking of them. In the spiritual life also, cherish only these two thoughts: what God is thinking of you and what you are thinking of Him. Then there will be no time left for you to think of others or to worry about what others are thinking of you.How can you accept the world? If you see the world as outside you, then this world can never be your world. The world can be yours only when you see it within yourself. When you see the world inside you, then you will automatically accept it as your own possession. If you see the world as outside yourself, then either the world possesses you or you feel that there is a yawning gulf between you and the world.
How can you accept the world? You will be able to accept the world by changing your attitude towards it. Do not believe that the world is going to the dogs, that the world is past perfection. The world carries the Message of God. This world is bound to manifest the Kingdom of Heaven. This world is God's chosen field and He will fulfil Himself here; He will manifest Himself here.
When you bring the outer world inside you, do not expect anything. Do not feel that the world will do something grand or something marvellous for you. If you expect anything, you are bound to be disappointed. If you have to expect something, then expect it from the Supreme in the world, but do not expect anything from the world directly. Your expectation must lie in the Supreme.
Accept the Supreme in man and see more perfection than imperfection in him. Try to see more truth than falsehood in him. See his right side, his positive side, his brighter side. Each individual represents the world. When you are trying to bring the world inside you, do not take it as imperfection, bondage, limitation and death. Take it as something which has infinite possibilities for the Supreme and for yourself.An aspirant may feel that just by eating one particular food he is not satisfied. He may feel satisfied only when there are various types of food placed in front of him. Then he feels that the meal is complete. Similarly, in the spiritual life you may want a few things in addition to the mantra. But you have to know whether you have received the mantra from a real spiritual Master or just an ordinary teacher or whether you got it from a book. Wherever you got it, if the mantra that you have does not interfere with your spiritual life, then I will be the last person to tell you to give it up. But if you feel that right now it does interfere and you are unable to get rid of it, then I wish to say that giving it up is just a matter of time.
I have quite a few disciples who were initiated previously by other spiritual Masters and some of them had the same difficulty that you are going through. Eventually they gave up their mantra because they felt that it stood in the way of their deeper, higher meditation. But you may feel that, on the contrary, it adds to your aspiration or gives you some inspiration. Then you should repeat the mantra at the beginning of your meditation. Sometimes I tell disciples to do Hatha Yoga exercises for ten or fifteen minutes before they enter into deep meditation. So you can also repeat your mantra. After all, each mantra is a manifestation of the Lord Supreme. You have to see if it interferes with your present spiritual path or not. If it does not interfere, then please continue.Material food is necessary. But spiritual food is more important to an aspirant. Now, how is it that every day we can not meditate well? It is because early each morning we do not renew our love, our devotion, our surrender to the Supreme in our Guru. Every day we eat spiritual food, but while eating we often do not offer even one second of our deepest gratitude to the Inner Pilot. We offer gratitude only when we feel we are getting something most significant. But we should know a divine secret: that the very act of praying or meditating or concentrating is a sign of divine Grace.
Early in the morning, before we start our meditation, we can offer our gratitude in the form of love, devotion and surrender to the Guru, the Supreme, the Inner Pilot, because He is giving us the aspiration to meditate. Aspiration has to come first. When we offer our gratitude for the aspiration that we have already received, the aspiration that we get is the result. And every day we have to renew our love, devotion and surrender. Then we will not have to suffer from having a poor meditation even one day. And finally the time will come when we will be able to meditate spontaneously at any time. After some time, after a few years, we will become one with the consciousness of meditation. At that time the very consciousness of meditation will be pleased with us and will take care of our outer and inner life.Sri Chinmoy: What are mistakes after all? The very idea of a mistake being shameful or unmentionable creates a wrong vibration in the cosmos. If we think a mistake is something that will inevitably be followed by punishment, then we are totally wrong. First, let us take mistakes as failures. What are failures? Failures are the pillars of success. Failures are God's experiences in us. God is experiencing Himself in us and through us, and He is carrying us towards the ultimate Goal which is perfect Perfection. Second, let us take mistakes as half truths. If we take a mistake as something abominable or unpardonable, then the mistake can never be rectified or remoulded into truth. But if we consider a mistake as an imperfect truth or an infinitesimal truth, if we see in a mistake an iota of truth, then we can feel that the mistake can be rectified and transformed into truth.
When we confess a mistake, what do we actually do? We immediately identify ourselves with our largest part, the all-covering, all embracing part which includes the world and the entire humanity. At that time we can feel that our so-called mistake is not a mistake; it is an imperfection; it is a game of imperfection that we have played unconsciously and unintentionally. The moment we have enough courage to confess our mistake, God's adamantine Protection runs towards us. His Protection shelters us. His Protection immediately becomes our haven. But what do we usually do? We separate ourselves from the mistake as if it were something dirty, ugly and obscene. Instead, let us take each mistake as a lump of clay. This lump of clay can be shaped and moulded into something useful. Then, if we have wisdom and light enough, we can use it for a good purpose.
Each mistake, instead of being taken as a curse, can be taken as a blessing. Of course, we shall not commit any mistake consciously or deliberately. But if a mistake takes place in our inner nature, in our vital nature, in our physical nature, or in our physical mind, then immediately we should be ready to confess it. In our free and humble confession is our immediate emancipation. Otherwise, we shall simply be crushed by the mountain of our mistakes.If you don't have a teacher and you don't want a teacher, if you want to make progress all by yourself, I wish to say that your progress is bound to be very slow. It is not that if you pray to God all by yourself you will not realise Him; the first person on earth who realised God didn't have a human being as his Guru. But if he had had, he would have realised God much sooner. You may as well be wise. You are in need of inner wisdom and there is some-body who has it. There is nothing wrong in taking his help.
The real spiritual Master will never claim a monopoly on illumination. He always says that each seeker has a treasure deep inside him. The key to this treasure is inside his heart, but the key has unfortunately been lost. The Master shows the disciple where the key is hidden and how to unlock his inner treasure. Once he has the key, the seeker easily discovers the treasure inside himself. Whose treasure is it? It is the disciple's. The Master has no claim on it whatsoever. If I had something and I lost it, if somebody comes and tells me that he will be able to help me find it, if I am wise, I will immediately take his help. Once I have found it, I will claim it as my very own. And if I am divine, I will offer him my gratitude.
We have to learn the difference between a school teacher and a spiritual teacher. The school teacher gives marks. If you do well in your studies, he will pass you: If you don't do well, he will fail you. He will pass you or fail you according to your merit. But a spiritual teacher will not do that. He is like a private tutor. He will teach you carefully, lovingly, personally, so that you can pass the examination and leave the school of ignorance. He will not give you marks; he will just teach you with utmost concern so that you can pass your examination.
If you have a teacher, please go to your teacher. He is absolutely the right person to help you with your spiritual progress. If you do not have a teacher, then you should find one in whom you can have implicit faith. If you say you don't want to have one, then I advise you to mix with the disciples of some Masters. If you don't follow their path, no harm. You will get some help from them, although you will not get abundant help or infinite help. But if you want to make a little more progress, you can mix with sincere spiritual people, no matter which path they belong to. Their own aspiration will inspire you and kindle the flame of aspiration within you.Sri Chinmoy: Restlessness can be in the mind, in the vital, in the gross physical and to a certain extent in the heart. In your case, restlessness is present because the mind is not consciously becoming one with the soul's light. The soul is crying to offer light to the mind but the mind is rejecting it consciously and deliberately. The physical mind does not want to meditate to overcome restlessness. What you need is the illumined mind or the mind that has been consciously purified by the soul's light.
In your case, depression occurs for two reasons. The first is that when you have a good, sound meditation, the ordinary vital, the vital which cries for outer satisfaction and outer achievements, feels that it is going to starve and die. The calmness you receive in meditation is like poison to the restless vital. So it invites depression because it feels that its very existence is threatened. The second reason why you are depressed is that when the heart brings the message from the soul that you have promised to reach the ultimate Goal in this life or the next life, you allow yourself to feel that the Goal is very far from where you are now. In the far distant future you see all sunshine, but when you observe your present situation you feel that it is all darkness and foul, inclement weather. Since you can see no connecting link between the possibility of the golden future and the reality of the present, naturally depression starts.
The best thing you can do right now is to meditate regularly early in the morning without expecting anything from your meditation. If you offer a child your love, concern and affection, you do not expect anything from him. Try to feel that your meditation is like a child right now. Give what you have-love and conscious concern -to this child and don't expect anything in return. Then at the right time, when the child grows up, the wealth of meditation will flow to the fore like a gushing spring.Sri Chinmoy: Selfishness is something that does not allow us to expand. We can expand ourselves only by entering into something that is really vast. By thinking of selfishness or knowing what it is, we cannot conquer selfishness. Let us think of widening some aspect of our consciousness. If we think of joy, we will see that it will spread, because the very nature of joy is to spread. One cannot hold back divine joy; it has to expand and expand. When we think of light, we cannot be bound, although now selfishness is binding us. Pleasure and selfishness are destructive powers inside us. When we are selfish and do not want to share with others, at that time we are binding ourselves. The real joy which comes from the heart only gets its fulfilment by expanding, spreading and sharing. When you feel that you are being selfish, please try to find something within you which can be expanded or extended. Immediately you will see that it is the feeling of oneness. Why are you selfish? Just because you have not yet established your conscious oneness with someone. If you feel your oneness with someone, immediately you will be ready to give him all that you yourself have.
Right now you experience selfishness towards your friends, relatives and acquaintances. You are sincere enough to admit that you are selfish, but if you think that your friends and relatives are not selfish, it is not true. If you go deep within, you will see that there are many people on earth who are more selfish than you. If you can feel on the strength of your aspiration and meditation that your friends and neighbours are all inside you and you are inside them, then you will have established a feeling of divine oneness. In oneness there cannot be any selfishness. Who will play the role of selfishness when you feel that you and he and she are all one?
When you meditate daily, feel that you are like a bird spreading its wings little by little. When your wings are fully spread you are ready to fly. And when you are soaring with the whole sky before you, flying with your wings spread wide open over the whole world, then you cannot be selfish because the world belongs to you. The wider you can spread your consciousness, the sooner your selfishness will disappear. In order to spread your consciousness-wings, you have to do only one thing: meditate regularly, sincerely and devotedly. Meditation is the only answer. You may read hundreds of books full of all kinds of ideas on how to conquer your selfishness, but you will never be able to conquer it with books. Only if you meditate will you be able to find the way which will be most effective for you.But if you feel that someone else's bad qualities are entering into you instead of their good qualities, then immediately you can use two weapons. The weapon of compassion makes you see their bad qualities as a heavy load on their shoulders. You will think, "I am running the fastest and I shall reach my goal, but see what a heavy load this poor fellow has on his shoulders! I pity him. But I have my own goal to reach, and when the time comes he will also reach his goal." In that way we can sympathise with him.
Our other weapon is to think, "I have no time to waste in contemplating all his bad qualities. My time is very precious. If I spend time thinking of this or that person, I am a fool. By thinking of them or being jealous of them I will never reach my goal. I will be running towards a new, self-created goal, which is all wrong."
We run the fastest when we don't look to this side or that side. If we let ourselves become distracted by thinking of the person who is either beside us or behind us but not at the goal itself, we will fail to reach the goal. We are running towards the goal for peace, light and bliss. Since we cannot get these things from the imperfect person we are thinking of, why should we waste our time thinking of him? Always think of the goal and your problem will be solved.We have to know what we want. We want God the omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. If we are approaching Him through love, devotion and surrender, we shall eventually become one with Him positively, convincingly and most fulfillingly. We can consciously make ourselves feel that we are God's child and that we have within us everything that He has: His infinite Treasure of Peace, Bliss and Power is inside us. We have only to uncover it. These positive ideas will put a definite end to our negative thoughts.
In India there was a great spiritual Master named Sri Ramakrishna, who used to say, "If you say you are a thief and a sinner, then you will forever remain a thief and a sinner. But if you say, 'I have repeated God's Name, I am God's child,' then how can you continue to do wrong?" Nothing on earth or in Heaven can hold you back if you have faith in your Source. The highest aspiration of your inner divinity will carry you towards the goal.
Positive thoughts are needed at every moment of your existence in order to destroy your negative thoughts. Then, when the flame of aspiration climbs high, higher, highest, you will see that you possess a purifying fire that will burn away all your negative thoughts. From now on try to climb high and dive deep into your inner being and from there bring your adamantine willpower to the fore. Once you attack your negative thoughts with your inner will, the will of the soul, all negative and destructive thoughts can easily be annihilated.Meditation is the medicine which can cure everything. Meditation is an additional help in everything. You don't have to meditate for two hours and then study for five minutes. On the contrary, you can meditate for five minutes and then study for two hours. If you meditate for five minutes before you study, the strength the power, the intensity of your meditation will help you in your studies and in all your mental activities.
You will be able to silence your mind if you feel that you have to do first things first. First comes God, not your books. If you think of God first, you will see that the God you invoked during your meditation will help you in your studies. God is everywhere, but you have to touch His Feet before you touch His Head. In your studies also, first touch the source, then climb up the tree. God is the root and source of your activities. When you invoke or enter into His divine Consciousness before studying, you will see that your mental capacities will also be lifted up.O sweet Lord,
Let my depression-night dieIn its first moment
Of life.O eternal Lord,
Let my frustration-sea dieIn its first moment
Of life.O beloved Lord,
Let my destruction-tornado dieIn its first moment
Of life. ```Learn to shut the door.
Fear will not frighten you.Learn to shut the door.
Doubt will not blight you.Learn to shut the door.
Jealousy will not strangle you.Learn to open the door.
Courage will beautify you.Learn to open the door.
Faith will glorify you.Learn to open the door.
Oneness will immortalise you. ```For man-doubt
I believeThere is a cure.
For God-doubt
I am not sureThere is a cure.
For self-doubt
I am sureThere is no cure.
```Mind, my mind,
Don't doubt!Backward to your long-forgotten impurity...
Doomed your life-successShall be.
Vital, my vital,
Don't strangle!Backward to the beast...
Doomed your life-progressShall be.
Body, my body,
Don't sleep!Backward to the stone-life...
Doomed your life-dreamsShall be.
```I do not fly with fear,
BecauseFear dies on the way.
I do not sing with doubt,
BecauseDoubt forgets the tune.
I do not dance with anxiety,
BecauseAnxiety has lost its innocent charm.
```I touched
The tail of jealousy.It threw at me
A garland of curses.I touched
The eyes of doubt.They gave me
A glass of venom-water.I touched
The heart of fear.It presented me
With incapacity-sea.I touched
The soul of faith.It offered me
God's Garland of Roses. ```Mind, my foolish mind,
Look!The age of anxiety
Is over.Heart, my tiny heart,
Look!The age of insecurity
Is over.Vital, my blind vital,
Look!The age of impurity
Is over.Body, my poor body,
Look!The age of inferiority
Is over. ```From:Sri Chinmoy,Problems! Problems! Are they really problems? part 2, Sri Chinmoy Lighthouse, New York, 1974
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