As you know, I am a wonderful runner. I can inspire my children to run, but when it is a matter of me personally, from the beginning to the end running is sheer torture. I run. Why? The secret reason is so that I will not get fat and compete with Indian swamis in fatness. But the main reason is to inspire my disciples to run, so that they can become fit instruments of the Supreme.

This morning I got inspiration to run at six o’clock. Usually I go running much earlier, but today I went late. I ran one, two, three, four, five and then six miles, until I reached Dan’s Supreme Supermarket. This is my usual turnaround point on that course. Then I became tired and started running and walking. Three hundred metres I would run and then fifty metres I would walk. In that way I covered another three miles. Finally, I was totally exhausted. Totally is not an exaggeration; it is an understatement. I was seeing everything as white or black or brown. My eyes were not functioning at all!

I stood and rested for a while and then I started walking. While I was walking I saw a very old, crippled lady using a cane. I said, “O God, You are still kind to me. At least I don’t belong to her group.”

I was dying of thirst; I was so dehydrated! But I didn’t have a cent with me. What could I do?

Now, begging is not in my line. God gave me stupid pride, which I still have. Three times I was about to beg individuals for a dime to make a phone call. But when I went near them, I said, “What will happen if they don’t give me the dime?” That was my stupidity. I passed two gas stations and each time I was about to ask for water or for a dime, but again I was afraid of what would happen. At one point I saw a young boy. It seemed to me that he had money. I was about to tell him that if he gave me a dime, in fifteen minutes I would give him a ten dollar bill. Again I said, “What will happen if he does not give me the money?”

I was struggling and struggling. Perhaps I have never been so exhausted. I felt as if I had run fifty miles, which I have never done. Still I went on. At one place there was a sign that said “College Point.” I stood there for five minutes and then I started walking. I had covered over two hundred metres when all of a sudden I saw a car stop near me. A gentleman came out of the car and asked me the way to College Point. As you know, I am not very good at giving directions. Most sympathetically I told him that I didn’t know. Then I came back to my senses and realised that I had just seen the sign and had even been standing there. But by that time the car had passed by. That kind of tiredness I had!

When I was only six hundred metres away from my house, I was so exhausted that I said, “Let me wait here for ten minutes. Let me take rest for ten minutes.” Then I finally walked home.

So running can make people very tired if they are useless runners like me. It is always advisable to carry some change or a dollar with you. For me it is always advisable to take someone with me when I run — preferably someone with a car, not a runner. Yesterday I took Peter with me. But when you take someone with you, at that time you are not exhausted. Yesterday I ran seven miles. I was showing off, running quite fast. When you take someone along with you, at that time you do not need help. And then when you don’t take someone, at that time all the world’s help you need.

RB 349. 1 September 1981

From:Sri Chinmoy,Run and become, become and run, part 7, Agni Press, 1982
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/rb_7