O my Inner Pilot1

O my Inner Pilot, do grant me the highest boon: love. I wish to love You devotedly and soulfully because You are always my All.

O my Inner Pilot, I wish to love the world because You are its only real reality.

O my Inner Pilot, I wish to love myself because in and through me You want to reveal and manifest Your Dream-Boat, Your Consciousness-Sea and Your Reality-Shore.

O my Inner Pilot, it is such temptation to criticise and chastise the world. It is such temptation to steer the world-boat to an uncharted shore, to a nowhere-shore. It is such temptation to demand the world’s ultimate surrender. It is such temptation to beg of You to please me in my own human way, since it is simply impossible for me to please You in Your own Way even for a fleeting second.

O my Inner Pilot, if I ever do what I want to do, then my name will be changed to selfishness, strangling selfishness. Selfishness is nothing but fruitless loneliness, loneliness is another name for stark frustration and frustration helplessly changes its name to utter destruction.

O my Inner Pilot, I have a tiny world of my own. Here the teeming and increasing demands of my raving vital torture me, my little world. I know I shall not be able to save myself, save my world, on the strength of my love for You. I know my love for You is a tiny drop; its capacity is incapacity itself. But again, out of Your infinite Bounty I know You will save me and guide me to my destined Goal. But O my Inner Pilot, I am tired, I am exhausted, I am practically dead. I beg of You, I implore Your infinite Bounty, to expedite Your Hour. O my Inner Pilot, do save the “I-ness” in me, save it and illumine it so that it can claim You as its very own — as the other divine members of my inner family rightly, devotedly and soulfully claim You as their very own.

O my Inner Pilot, my outer life, which is my mind, desperately needs Your Peace. My inner life, which is my heart, badly needs Your Patience. Your Peace I shall eternally treasure because I know that Your Peace is my ever-increasing success. Your Patience I shall eternally treasure because I know that Your Patience is my ever-fulfilling progress.

O my Inner Pilot, I have all along talked to You. I have talked and talked and promised to give You everything that I claimed as my own — everything, that is, but one thing: my ignorance-life. I have talked and talked and You, my Inner Pilot, have always listened to me. Now, my Inner Pilot, I wish to reverse the game. I wish to listen to You. I do not merely want to hear You but also to listen to You. To hear You is to offer my human ear: in one ear and out the other. But to listen to You is to offer You my divine heart, which exists only to please You in Your own Way at every moment. O my Inner Pilot, do grant me that heart that listens to You at every moment, the heart that is eagerly waiting throughout Eternity only to obey You, only to listen to You and please You in Your own Way. O my Inner Pilot, give me the heart divine.

O my Inner Pilot, You have given me countless opportunities and I have misused all these countless opportunities. At every moment You have showered Your choicest blessings on me in the form of opportunities, but the ignorance in me has not permitted me to use Your opportunities soulfully, devotedly and supremely. Now I wish to reverse the game. Now I wish to give You the opportunity, the constant opportunity, to play Your cosmic Game in and through me. Your opportunities I have misused; I have failed. But I wish You to exercise Your opportunities in and through me. You play Your role in and through me. I leave my heart’s door wide open. Let me become from now on only an ever-mounting cry, an open heart, an open room in which You can play Your cosmic Game, in which You can sing Your cosmic Song, in which You can dance Your cosmic Dance.

O my Inner Pilot, Your creation is vast, infinite. You have created countless worlds, but I know for certain that You have two most affectionate creations: your daughter and your son. Your daughter is our Mother Earth and Your son is our Father Heaven.

O my Inner Pilot, I wish to serve Your daughter, our Mother Earth. I wish to offer her my soulful contribution, which is my heart’s ever-mounting cry.

O my Inner Pilot, I wish to offer my soulful contribution, my soul’s illumining smile, to Heaven, our Father Heaven. I wish to add my smile to Father Heaven’s ever-illumining Smile.

O my Inner Pilot, constant hunger tortures my Mother Earth: hunger for perfection in her children. I wish to offer my devoted service to satisfy her hunger, so that her children, my brothers and sisters, can see the face of perfection.

O my Inner Pilot, do give me the capacity to offer my dedicated service to feed my countless brothers and sisters in my Mother Earth.

O my Inner Pilot, do grant me the capacity to serve Your son, Father Heaven. Let Father Heaven accept my gift of dedicated service, so that when he feeds the hunger of Mother Earth, I can be the dedicated, life-giving, soul-offering reality inside the sumptuous feast that Father Heaven will offer to Mother Earth.

O my Inner Pilot, You have given me many, many things, countless things since I first saw the light of day. But two things I see play their role most powerfully and significantly: my earth-bound body and my Heaven-free soul. My earth-bound body always reminds me of my obscure past, of my precarious present and of my absolutely uncertain future. My past tortures me, my present deceives me; but my future will illumine me.

O my Inner Pilot, You have also granted me a Heaven-free soul. My Heaven-free soul constantly blossoms inside me like morning jasmine, emanating its perfume, its redolent, earth-illumining, soul-fulfilling and Heaven-satisfying fragrance. The soul, the Heaven-free soul, reminds me of what You eternally are and what I, in the world of my inner heart, eternally am: the Eternal Now.

O my Inner Pilot, do grant me only one more boon. Your first boon was love; the second and last boon I ask from You is the Eternal Now, where You and I can grow, glow and flow. Again, there shall come a time when I shall say, “We shall grow, glow and flow together.” Finally, there shall come a time when I shall not say “you and I” or “we”, but only “I”: not the human I, not the ego, but the Universal I, which is the Transcendental I.

  1. SCS 37. Greenwich, Connecticut, 25 July 1975.

From:Sri Chinmoy,Sri Chinmoy speaks, part 2, Agni Press, 1976
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/scs_2