My weightlifting tears and smiles, part 1

The deliberate lie

About three weeks ago, I asked Databir to tell a deliberate lie to Prakash. Prakash, as you know, is our champion in weightlifting. The lie was that I had lifted up 70 pounds from the ground over my head with one hand. Prakash is a divine unbeliever and disbeliever. He said, “That’s impossible! Guru can’t lift 70 pounds. I know Guru’s biceps.”

He had examined my triceps and biceps secretly and saw that they were like marshmallows.

I said, “Now that I have told a lie, let me start with 50 pounds and, after some time, make the lie true.”

It took me two or three days to lift 50 pounds. Then I went on to 60 pounds. The other day, both Databir and Pahar were able to lift up 60 pounds with one hand, but I could not do it. I said to myself, “Sixty pounds I will not do in this incarnation!” Three or four times I tried. The first two or three days I could lift it up to my knee. Then it went to my shoulder. On the 11th of this month I asked a few girls and boys to predict when I would be able to lift 60 pounds. Most of them said I would be able to lift it any day. It seemed like an exaggeration which had nothing to do with reality!

Some said I would do it on the 12th or 13th; some said on the 15th. Nobody guessed the 16th. Today is the 16th, and today I actually did it. Now I am trying for 70 pounds. I do not know whether I will ever succeed in this incarnation. To me, 70 pounds is unimaginable! Of course, about a week ago, 60 pounds was out of the question.

— 16 July 1985

Taking the credit

Two of my admirers, Tom and Don, work at the West Coast Fitness Gym in San Francisco. Tom owns the gym and Don is his assistant. Both of them are famous powerlifting coaches. Anyway, I visited their gym during my trip to California. Don had been asking the San Francisco disciples exactly when I would come and he happened to be sitting in his car outside the gym on the day I went.

When I saw Don, I said in a joking manner, “I must be sincere with you. I really do not like weightlifting at all. I have only taken it up because I cannot run. So please understand that I am a very bad student. I am listening to your coaching, but I may not follow it. Still, I am grateful to you for your advice.”

Don said, “We have a belief in the weightlifting industry that any time you offer advice, even if the student does not follow it, as long as the student eventually makes progress, the coach can claim the credit. So even if you never use my advice again, if you can continue to make more and more progress, I will always be able to say that I offered you advice.”

I laughed and laughed. Then we spent an hour together in the gym taking exercise. I was admiring his muscles like anything.

Half an hour after I left the gym, I asked Sumati to call Don and invite him to our concert that night. I told her that Don only had to stay for ten minutes and I wanted him to sit in the front row. Don said that he was planning to go anyway and he wanted to stay for the whole concert.

So Don came to the concert and stayed to the very end.

— September 1985

Delicate hand and powerful hand

At a quarter to two, I go to bed. At a quarter to four, I get up and meditate. Then I go to my second room and do chest exercises 30 times; then quadricep and hamstring exercises.

At five o’clock, I go out to walk for two miles. Then I come back and do stretching exercises for half an hour. Next comes more exercises upstairs. Then I come down and lift 155 pounds 13 times. Then I do leg presses and bench presses.

After this I meditate and play the cello. Then I take another form of exercise and then play my Moroccan instrument. Next I do another exercise and then play the Chinese instrument.

First I am showing a delicate hand and then I am showing a weightlifter’s hand. This moment I use my delicate hand to play musical instruments, and the next moment I use my powerful hand for carrying inert, solid weights.

— 18 November 1985

Inner capacity and outer capacity

You may think that I am weaker than I am because you see only the physical in me. Again, if you happened to see my third eye inside the physical, then you would see the power of my physical body. It is much stronger than you can ever imagine. The outer appearance of my hands may seem weak to you, but my inner capacity makes me feel very strong when I do lifting and other things.

I know perfectly well that if I wanted to energise the physical, or if I opened up my third eye and allowed spiritual power to percolate from the soles of my feet to the crown of my head, all my limbs you would see as infinitely stronger than what they now outwardly appear.

— 18 November 1985

Frank Zane's inner poise

Frank Zane won the Mr. Olympia title because of his power of concentration and meditation. As soon as the officials called him, immediately he would come onto the stage. Others would take time; they would feel doubt or hesitation. But he was always ready because of his inner poise and the strength that he received from his meditation. He was so calm and quiet. Others couldn’t fathom it because they didn’t have his power of concentration and meditation. — 18 November 1985

Ashram weightlifting record

In the ashram the record for weightlifting is 85 pounds. My ashram friend set it about 20 years ago and nobody has broken his record. At that time I could not lift even 35 pounds. — 18 November 1985

Permission from Unmilan's soul

Unmilan had to go to Germany for a few days in connection with his exercise equipment business. I promised him that I would wait until he returned before I lifted my own body weight, 155 pounds. But while he was gone, inwardly I saw that the time was right for me to lift 155, and I couldn’t wait for him to return. So I took special permission from his soul and then I did it. Afterwards I phoned Unmilan in Germany to tell him I had just lifted 155 pounds — with special permission from his soul. — 18 November 1985

Mutual promises

I asked Unmilan to stay in New York for several months to make exercise machines for me. I told him he could stay on one condition — that he had to make me very strong. So he made me many exercisers. A few days ago, as I was going down the stairs in my house, I told him: “You have made me strong. Since you have kept your promise, it is up to me to keep my promise and make you spiritually strong.” — December 1985

God's weightlifting experience

It is my wish one day, in front of thousands of eyewitnesses, to lift up 100 pounds from the ground. Then, most probably I will pray to the Supreme to liberate me from weightlifting. But, who knows, when the time comes I may not be able to make even that request.

In all sincerity, I hate weightlifting. It is unconscious, lifeless, dead! It knows nothing but resistance from beginning to end. As if spiritual transcendence, which I have already done, is not enough! The transcendence of lifeless, senseless matter will take God knows how many millions and millions of years.

Anyway, God is having a good experience in and through me. The philosophy of all the great Masters is that there is nothing a Yogi cannot do. Now, compared to a spiritual Master of the highest order, an ordinary Yogi is like a little brother. So if the helpless, little brothers can do something great in their life-story, then the elder brothers should have the capacity to do infinitely better.

— 6 January 1986

Training schedule

People can’t believe it when they hear I spend four or five hours a day training. They say that only in Russia do weightlifters train every day, or sometimes even two or three times a day. Americans and Englishmen train three or four times a week. In my case, after three or four hours I recuperate. My muscles do me a favour and get back their energy, so I can take exercise four or five times a day.

Even now, from the bottom of my heart I hate weightlifting. This morning when I was running, I was getting such joy. When I run, there is fresh air, beautiful trees and the smell of flowers. The day I can lift up 100 pounds from the ground and 200 pounds in the one-arm lift will be the end. Then no more weightlifting!

— 19 January 1986

The "barking" weights

When I do weightlifting, I have to absolutely concentrate; no thought is allowed. If you are not serious, O God, even if the weight doesn’t fall, you may get hurt. If people don’t concentrate plus meditate, they may injure their muscles, and then they will suffer.

The weights are like a sleeping dog — very calm. But if you disturb the dog, it may open its eyes and bite you. In the same way, the inconscient weights say, “We are sleeping and now you are bothering us.” When you touch the weights, they feel a kind of sensation and get furious. Sometimes, because of my divine inner qualities, they get joy. Otherwise, it is like disturbing sleeping dogs; they just start barking.

— 19 January 1986

Big "tumours"

I admire the huge muscles of bodybuilders like anything. I admire them, but I am not inspired to have them myself. When the bodybuilders show their biceps, here and there you see big tumours. I try so hard to have at least something in my own muscles, but they remain flat, whereas the bodybuilders have big tumours. — 19 January 1986

The optimist

Yesterday when I was in an exercise store, I saw a boxer buying dumb-bells. I have seen him before; he used to take drugs. I wanted to buy a 30-pound dumb-bell and he was buying only a 25-pound one. He looked at me and said, “Thirty, you? You try 20 pounds!” Then he said, “No, 10 pounds is enough for you.”

Now what was I going to do? All the time, Vinaya remained silent. He did not tell the boxer what I could really lift. Afterwards, Vinaya lifted up 45 pounds, and then he told the man about me.

When the boxer heard my name, he was so excited. Then he came over to me and said the funniest thing: “My wife thinks I am crazy. I want to break the world record in the marathon.”

I said to him, “How many times have you run a marathon?”

He replied, “Not even once.”

“Then what do you do?” I asked him.

“I swim,” he replied.

Then I asked him when he planned to run his first marathon, and his answer was, “I will run two marathons before the New York Marathon, and then I will break the world record.”

I told him that Carlos Lopes, who holds the world record, is about 38 years old, but he corrected me: “Oh no, Lopes is about 40 now. If Lopes can do it, then I can also do it.”

“That is good,” I said.

So Vinaya told him all about our marathon in case he wanted to come and run with us. He said definitely he would run our marathon and also the New York City Marathon. Now look at this! Is it possible for him? He has taken drugs for many, many years. Now he wants to break the world record in the New York Marathon, and he has not yet started running!

— 4 February 1986

Using your inner light

When I went to India, I carried with me a 20-pound dumb-bell and a 70-pound dumb-bell so I could practise my weightlifting regularly. From the 9th of February to the 23rd, I missed only one day — the 21st — when I attended a commemorative ceremony at the ashram. On that day, I had to leave my hotel at four o’clock in the morning.

Otherwise, I practised everywhere — in Bombay, Calcutta, Chittagong and Pondicherry. As you know, I try to do weightlifting early in the morning, between 3:30 and 5:00. Then I get satisfaction. But some of the hotel rooms were smaller than the smallest. Also, some have practically no light. The hotel lights are invisible, so you have to use your inner light.

— 1 March 1986

The elevated push-ups

When I was in Pondicherry, I meditated on the rising sun. It was most beautiful. Then, in a fleeting second, it went up high, higher, highest. Afterwards, I went to a very small park — smaller than the smallest — which had a statue of the French General Dupleix. Three young boys were doing push-ups there. I do push-ups on the ground, but they were doing them on elevated wooden handles. You have to lower your chest to the ground with your hands elevated above it. One of the boys did 28 push-ups, another did 35 and the third did 38. I was admiring them like anything, and they were very happy and very proud.

Then I wanted to try this kind of push-up. It took time for me to bend, and it took more time for me to place my hands on the bars and try to keep my knees straight. They said that it was taking such a long time for me to take the position because I was so weak. They were laughing, and in Tamil they blessed me. They said, “A cock does not lay eggs!” In Pondicherry they always use that expression. When the lethargy-body takes time, people have nice things to say to you.

I don’t usually do this kind of push-up, but I did 70. The three boys were surprised and pleased. But there had been no competition, so they didn’t have to give me anything.

— 1 March 1986

Weightlifting with old friends

At the ashram some of my old friends tried to lift the 70-pound weight. Three or four were strong enough to bring it right up to their shoulder. But they didn’t dare to lift it over their head. One of them lifted it over his head with two hands.

I said, “Now this is the time to release one hand.”

Instead of releasing one hand, he brought the weight down so abruptly that I was afraid it would ruin the floor.

A few who are my age used to practise weightlifting. When they were younger, they used to do 60 or 70 pounds. Now they have given up weightlifting. They cannot lift 70 pounds anymore, and the young generation can only lift up weights under 70 pounds.

— 1 March 1986

The rogue porter

This is an amusing story. I was staying on the fifth floor of the hotel in Bombay. I had two suitcases, but it took the porter two trips to bring up my bags. He just managed to place my small bag, which had the 70-pound weight, in the elevator. Then with greatest difficulty he brought it near my door.

An old man was cleaning the room. The porter said to the old man, “Since you are an old man, you carry the small case and let me carry the big suitcase.”

The old man tried to lift my small bag with the heavy weight. He lifted it perhaps a few inches and got a cramp on his left side. The other fellow, the rogue, immediately ran away. He didn’t even enter into the elevator. He just ran down the fire exit.

What can you do? I felt miserable for the old man, and I gave him 20 rupees. Then I took my suitcases into my room.

— 1 March 1986

The push-up contest

In Bombay, the Gateway of India, across from the Taj Hotel there are some statues of Vivekananda and Shivaji. I am a Bengali, so I have great admiration for Shivaji. My Bengali teacher once gave me eight out of four for an article I wrote about Shivaji. My teacher’s highest mark was normally four out of four, but that time he gave me eight out of four. I had great admiration for Shivaji, and I have a very close connection with his soul. Vivekananda was also my hero.

Around five o’clock in the morning, I went running a little. My running is not even jogging; it is something worse than jogging. Then I started taking exercise. A teenage boy between 16 and 19 years old was also taking exercise. I was very pleased and amused, and I was immediately trying to imitate what he did. He was very happy and proud.

Then he started doing deep knee bends. Poor me, I can’t bend at all. My knee bends were wrong, and he started laughing. While he did four knee bends, I could not even take the position to do half a knee bend. It was too much for him; he laughed and laughed.

Then I said to him, “Do you know how to do push-ups?”

He said, “No!”

Then I showed him one and he said, “Oh, I can do it easily.”

I said, “Good. Let us have a competition. If you win, I will give you ten rupees. But if I win, you don’t have to give me a thing.”

He was so happy, because he saw how I was doing the other exercises. I was an old man and he was young, and he felt he could easily win.

I asked him his name. He said his name was Darika, which means guard. The Taj Hotel was right in front of our exercise area, so I asked if he worked there. He said he was a student.

Anyway, I let him start in the push-up contest. So we counted, “One, two, three, four....” He did 20. He was so happy, and I was so pleased that he had done 20. Then I started doing push-ups. I did one, two, three, four, five, and then, after eight, I became so exhausted. I pretended that I had no breath and that I was absolutely collapsing. With greatest difficulty I went up to 18. Then I surrendered. To do more was absolutely impossible. He was so happy that he had defeated me by two. I gave him 10 rupees immediately, and he put it in his pocket. He was so happy and proud because after eight I was struggling and struggling, whereas he did 20 and got the prize.

When the competition was all over, I said to him, “The competition is over. Now let me try again, just for exercise.”

He was so happy, and he said, “All right.” I asked him to count.

So 18 passed, 20 went, then 30, 40, 60, 100. When it became 118, I gave up. Then he took out the 10 rupees and returned them.

I said, “No, no! It is whoever wins during the competition time. I can’t take the money from you.”

He said, “No, no!”

I said, “No, in the competition I did 18 and you did 20. So you deserve it.” So I gave the money back to him and said, “Now, you go!”

Vivekananda’s spirit was the witness.

— 1 March 1986

Dhaka customs

When I was going through customs in Dhaka, they were giving me a very hard time. They were suspecting me because of my 70-pound weight.

I opened the case and I showed the man what was inside. Then I took the weight out of the case. But they were still suspicious and tried to find something inside the weight.

I said, “I want to speak to the highest authority, whoever is in charge.”

He said, “I am the highest authority.”

I said, “You can’t see that there is nothing inside? You need a little more wisdom.”

We were talking in Bengali. He got mad at me and said, “How do I know you are telling the truth?”

It went on like this for some time. Finally I said, “If you suspect me, then bring someone who can find something inside it, since you can’t find anything yourself.”

So he was harassing me, and I was harassing him.

Finally he allowed me to go through customs.

— 1 March 1986

Calcutta customs

From Dhaka it was only a 45-minute flight to Calcutta. At the Calcutta airport, the story was different. When I opened the bag at customs and the man saw the weight, he wanted to lift it, but he could not. So I lifted the weight up only two or three inches. I did not bring it out of the case even. Then he shook hands with me and said, “Congratulations!”

Just 45 minutes before I had been harassed!

I told him my sad story about Dhaka. He laughed and laughed and he was not at all suspicious.

Here they shook hands with me and congratulated me because I was able to lift it two or three inches. In Dhaka I took it out of the case even, but all they did was harass me.

— 1 March 1986

The strong coolies

In a few other places people had a very difficult time carrying my bag with the 70-pound weight. I felt miserable in one place when one of the coolies placed the bag on his head and had to walk through the railway station. They find it easier to carry that way. So they would always get a good tip from me. — 1 March 1986

The Indian health spa

I was staying at the Obarock Hotel in Calcutta. When I wanted to make my reservation to fly to Pondicherry, I didn’t feel like going to the airline lady in the lobby, so I asked Ranjana to go. We had decided not to make any definite reservation but to just get information.

The next day, when I went back, the lady said that since we had already made a reservation, we had to pay a cancellation fee. So I got mad and went to Air India and asked them to check my reservation. My name was not in the computer, which means the lady in the hotel had not even made the reservation. In the evening, the lady phoned me in my hotel room and said, “Mr. Ghose, you have to pay a cancellation fee of 160 rupees.”

I said, “Thank you. Now look here!” Then, all of a sudden, I started talking English. I said, “Now tell me, do you want me to tell the police to arrest you or shall I tell the manager so he will fire you? I have been to the airline. My name was not in the computer, so a cancellation fee is out of the question. I am coming downstairs to the lobby.”

The phone rang even before I opened the door. The lady said, “Mr. Ghose, khama karo, khama karo,” asking me in Bengali to forgive her.

Anyway, the story goes on. This hotel had a health spa. Their weights started at 2 pounds and went up to 15 pounds. They also had one belt machine and an older-than-the-oldest rowing machine. I felt miserable for them. They were inviting me to take exercise.

I told the man that I would give him $100 as a contribution to the health spa. He couldn’t believe it. Then I gave him $200 instead. He took me to the manager, who was in the hotel lobby. At that time, two men were talking to the airline lady about their tickets. As soon as she saw me with the manager and the cashier, she said to her customers, “I will be back soon.” Then she left the place.

The manager thanked me profusely and told the first man, “You buy whatever you want for the health spa. Then you give me the receipts.” So the manager thanked me and the cashier thanked me.

There was a chair in the lobby very near the hotel airline office. I went and sat in the chair and started reading the newspaper. I was very relaxed. After ten minutes, I felt miserable for the two men standing at the ticket desk. I knew that as long as I sat there, the airline lady would stay away. So I finally left. As I was about to go upstairs, I saw her come hurriedly to the airline desk. She was frightened to death that I would tell the manager.

— 2 March 1986

Nearly a serious accident

While I was lifting 240 pounds this morning, I had the idea to look up at the weight when it was over my head. I was watching it in amazement. My human mind could not believe that I had lifted so much weight — it got an electric shock! I was so stunned that I forgot to move away from the power rack quickly enough when I released the dumb-bell. As it fell down, it jumped a little and hit my forehead. Fortunately, I was not hurt although it was very nearly a serious accident. When the dumb-bell comes down, the whole house shakes. — 21 June 1986

My 100-pound dream

Today I have fulfilled my long-cherished dream of lifting up 100 pounds from Mother Earth. The video is the proof. I must say, I didn’t find it too difficult. Again, everything — starting with even one pound — is difficult. It has taken many months for me to do it and so I am very happy.

Since I started lifting 170 pounds, I have practised it on 25 or 26 different days. Out of these, only on the second day did I fail on the first attempt. But today, O my God, on the first attempt I had some difficulty, so I had to make a second attempt. I felt miserable.

Then I said, “I have to be happy. The only way to make myself happy is to lift 100 pounds from the ground.” Then, when I did it, I was happy.

— 20 March 1986

The body-world's generosity

People who are in the body-world are so generous! Although, as a bodybuilder and weightlifter, I am a newcomer, there are bodybuilders who have been practising for 30 or 40 years who say such nice things about me. I have just given a drop, but the ocean is appreciating the drop like anything. Look at the way this world is receiving!

On the other hand, I have written hundreds of books, composed thousands of songs and painted thousands of paintings, but those worlds have not received me the way the bodybuilders and weightlifters have. Such big hearts they have! They could have been jealous. They could have said, “This fellow is an upstart. He has only just started. What is he doing?” They could have belittled my achievements. But Mr. Universe, Mr. Olympia, the British Registrar of Records — all have said such kind and encouraging things.

— 22 March 1986

My Mother's Day blessing

This morning, while I was taking exercise, I heard Ranjana on the phone talking, talking, talking. She had called her mother for Mother’s Day. For so long, I was hearing her voice. I said to myself, “O God, luckily my mother is not on earth so I don’t have to spend so much time on the phone.”

I was doing wrist curls on my machine. Then, what did I see? O my God, I saw two ethereal hands twisting my wrists. Then I saw that it was my mother who was twisting them. Here I was saying that I didn’t have to talk to my mother because she is in the other world! So this is how we observed Mother’s Day.

— 11 May 1986

Visit from a bodybuilder

One day a bodybuilder’s soul came to me. I thought I would get some help from the soul, but instead of giving me help, the soul started worshipping me. — 11 May 1986

Chitta's theory

My brother Chitta has a nice theory to console me. He says, “If you had done 250 pounds on the 14th or 15th of April, just 10 months after you first started weightlifting, people would not have believed it. They would have said that you employed some ghosts to lift it.”

Each time I go away on a trip and come back, I have good luck. When I come back from my Germany trip, I will have 13 days more before my anniversary on the 26th of June. Who knows, if I can do 250 pounds by then, I will be very happy.

— 13 May 1986

Bill Pearl's receptivity

One does not have to become a disciple to identify himself with me. Bill Pearl is the proof. On the strength of his oneness with me, my inner creativity he sees and feels. When we say that there are people on earth who are not my disciples but who are extremely receptive, here is the proof. — 18 June 1986

Transported by ecstasy

For the last three weeks I have wanted to be in a sweet consciousness while taking exercise and practising my weightlifting. Upstairs, while I am taking exercises for an hour and a half, sometimes I turn on Indian devotional songs dedicated to Mother Kali. When the music is too loud for me, I keep the tape recorder in another room. Then, when I come downstairs, I leave the tape recorder on deliberately. There also I hear a few songs and get tremendous joy. So soulfully the performers sing.

Usually I lift 10 pounds 50 times. But today, because I was listening to the music, I made two or three mistakes in counting. God knows when 50 was over. My left arm never aches after I do 50 repetitions, but this time it was aching like anything. So how was I counting? Only after 75 or 80 repetitions does my arm ache. So when I enjoy the singing, it is very dangerous!

After doing 10 pounds, I lift 30 and 40 pounds. I was on my fourth or fifth repetition lifting with a 40-pound weight and listening to the tape. How soulfully the singer was singing! I was so moved. Luckily, I didn’t drop the weight. I took my right hand and very gently put the weight down. If the singers are extremely soulful, you can become deeply absorbed in the music and drop everything. You people are great! You can listen to a tape while you run. But if I were to use some Bengali singing tapes, I wouldn’t be able to run at all because I would become so deeply absorbed in the music.

The singers’ souls have come to me many, many times. One singer, whose voice I like the best, committed suicide. All his songs were on Mother Kali. God knows who composed them. The songs were written by Tom, Dick and Harry — very simple devotional songs. In some songs, the poet is criticising Kali, asking, “Why are you so bad? Why are you not fulfilling my desires?” But all are full of devotion, full of purity.

For one week, I listened only to national songs, all about India. I liked them so much.

— 21 June 1986

Conversation by candlelight

After I lifted 240 pounds, the disciples gave me a cake with three tiny blue candles. When I was looking at the first candle, I was having a conversation with my mother. When I was looking at the second candle, I was having a conversation with my father. Then, when I was looking at the third candle, I was having a conversation with Ahana, one of my departed sisters. There in Heaven I was talking with my father, my mother and my sister Ahana. Each one has a different opinion with regard to my weightlifting, and I was enjoying hearing their different opinions.

Ever since I was a child, I have always taken my mother’s side blindly. Whether she is right or not, who cares? So this time also I took her side. When the discussion ended, I blew out the candles.

— 21 June 1986

Sweet reminiscences

Just two days before I did my first “human mountain” lift with Prakash, I was telling some of the disciples how Prakash reminds me of my own father as a young man. Then I said that Agraha reminds me of my brother Chitta — his face, the way he moves his hands, the way he walks — in every way. — 23 June 1986

Soul's appointment

Every morning around 2:00 a.m. I meditate on the souls of my disciples and those close to me in the inner world. The souls come individually or in groups of 50 to 100. Those souls that are extremely close to me have a fixed appointment time. Every morning they come at the same time. Bill Pearl’s soul is one of those. At 3:45 a.m. it comes to me.

His soul does not have to knock at my heart-door. It has a free access. Other times during the day also it comes, especially when I am lifting. But 3:45 a.m. is the sacred time that I have set aside for his soul.

— July 1986

Bill Pearl's prana

Bill Pearl’s prana is so powerful. Let him just go to hospitals and stand near sick people. Then, instead of getting oxygen, the sick people should just touch a corner of his garment. So much life-energy they will get from him! In this way, they will immediately get better. Like that, from room to room he could go curing hundreds of people. All strong bodybuilders should go to hospitals and do this work. — 1 July 1986

Hostile forces

So many times the hostile forces come to attack me at the very moment I am about to lift. A dog will start barking for no reason or a plane will be the culprit. This morning, just as I was about to lift 1300 pounds, two planes went over, one after the other. So much noise they made and how prolonged the sound was! But I always try to overcome these hostile forces and I never, never give in to them. — 23 June 1986

Celebrating in advance

Sometimes five or ten days or even a month before I do something great, the cosmic gods and goddesses in Heaven know that I will do it and celebrate my achievement.

When I was about to lift 200 pounds for the first time, I saw that their celebration was already over. Here, I had not yet done it, but in Heaven the celebration was over.

— 6 July 1986

The giants and the ant

My left calf is 14 1/2 inches and my right calf is 13 inches, whereas the calves of most of the bodybuilders are 18 to 22 inches. I not only have skeleton calves but Mahatma Gandhi legs. Now, some very famous American weightlifters used to weigh more than 300 pounds. You can call each of them a G-I-A-N-T. Take away the first two letters, and this is what I am in comparison: A-N-T! — July 1986

The disciples' vibrations

Each morning when I come down the stairs to my weight room, I powerfully identify with the vibration of a particular disciple or a group of disciples. I collect the aspiring hearts of the disciples each day and, from that aspiration, I formulate the weightlifting message that I give. Sometimes it is the disciples’ souls actually speaking through me. — August 1986

The secret prayers

For a long time I was very particular in not allowing the disciples to listen to the prayers that I said each morning before attempting to lift 303 1/2 pounds. Even when replaying the video, I would deliberately turn down the volume and fast forward the tape at that point. When I eventually wanted a book to be printed containing all these prayers, many disciples expressed surprise that I was making them available after such a long time. Significantly, I decided to reveal my prayers after I had successfully lifted the 300-pound weight. — August 1986

Meditating on Mother Kali

Above my chair in the meditation room there is a picture of Mother Kali. Before I lift every morning, with folded hands I meditate on this picture for several moments. — 8 August 1986

Blessing the weights

When I am about to lift a very large weight, either on my calf machine or with one arm, I frequently touch each of the metal plates. I do this to bless them and become one with them. — August 1986

The pure white garland

After I lifted 303 1/2 pounds, I sat on my blue chair in the meditation room to watch the video. Immediately Lord Krishna stood in front of me and garlanded me. The garland was all white and very, very long. Mother Kali stood beside me, smiling and dancing. She was so proud. Then they came and stood next to me and watched the video.

Later that night, at the celebration, some disciples also presented me with a long, white garland. It was very beautiful, but Krishna’s garland had been much longer.

— 12 August 1986

The dumb-bell's journey

So many times I tried to lift 300 pounds! It took me so long to lift the weight even a few inches. But once I was able to lift it half way, it took almost no time to get it to the highest point. That is why I always say the first part is the hardest. — 12 August 1986

Yesterday I started

The greatest joy comes always from attempting something. If we can have patience or stupidity enough to continue our attempts, then we are really something. The whole world will laugh at me, including my spiritual children, but I have put 313 pounds on one dumb-bell and 410 on another. Yesterday I had a long comic conversation with the Supreme while trying to lift 410 pounds. We said such cute things. So yesterday I started! — 13 August 1986

A visit from Sri Aurobindo

Just as I lifted 313 pounds for the first time, I saw in front of me Sri Aurobindo. I saw Him in the Consciousness He had when He used to meditate on Mother Kali for some time and become inseparably one with Her. Sri Aurobindo was watching me and He was extremely happy and proud.

Here I was at the height of my concentration, and all of a sudden I saw Sri Aurobindo. Such a kaleidoscope goes on!

— 19 August 1986

Bill Pearl's name

About two and a half years ago, before I knew anything about bodybuilding, before I started weightlifting, I heard from people that Bill Pearl had been Mr. Universe five times. As an individual who had become Mr. Universe, Bill Pearl did not mean anything to me because I was not in that world. But, to be very frank, as soon as I heard the name “Bill Pearl”, something like the Liberty Bell started ringing in my heart, not for Bill Pearl, Mr. Universe, but for Bill Pearl, the supremely chosen instrument of God. So, Bill Pearl as a bodybuilder or supreme authority on bodybuilding did not mean anything to me at that time. But Bill Pearl as an individual, a supremely chosen instrument of God, that name started ringing so melodiously in my aspiration-heart and realisation soul. Because I am a conscious, devoted instrument of God, as soon as I hear a name, I get a vibration. In the inner world his name started ringing so powerfully and melodiously in the inmost recesses of my heart. This was my top secret: there was something in the very name Bill Pearl.

When I was in Japan — in Tokyo, Fukuyama, Kyoto and quite a few other places — his very name used to give me tremendous joy. My song on him that I composed in Japan became my mantra. A mantra is an incantation that we repeat countless times to realise God. I have composed thousands of poems and songs, but there is no song that I have repeated as many times as I have repeated the Bill Pearl song. Again, this is not because he is the supreme Himalayan authority on bodybuilding. The inner reason is that I see him as an absolute giant in the inner worlds of aspiration and dedication. God’s Vision-Dream is so powerfully manifested in his life.

So his very name gave me, still gives me and will forever and forever give me the same intensity of ecstasy and delight.

— 20 August 1986

Divine poses

I have been studying many, many pictures of Bill Pearl. In each picture I see clearly a different inner wealth. One is flooded with power, one is flooded with compassion, one is flooded with determination. Each picture of his, each pose, has a very, very special significance for me in the inner world. He reveals his inner strength and power through his outer body-manifestation. And it is no exaggeration, no exaggeration! — 20 August 1986

Lord Shiva's encouragement

Today when I lifted 320 pounds — double my body weight — I invited Kailash and a few other boys to my house to watch. Kailash was sitting on the floor in front of me and slightly to the right. In India Mount Kailash is our most sacred mountain, and it is the favourite place of Lord Shiva. He always remains there in His cosmic self-forgetfulness trance.

While I was lifting, I saw with my third eye Lord Shiva sitting in the lotus position, deeply absorbed in meditation. He was sitting about three feet higher than Kailash’s head.

After my second attempt to lift 320, Lord Shiva gave me a little, little smile.

Just as I was about to try the lift for the fourth time, from the very depths of my heart I literally screamed in the inner world: “Shib!” In India, we Bengalis say Shib, not Shiva. Most powerfully I screamed His name, and simultaneously He responded, “Chin!”

Outwardly nothing happened, but at that moment a bolt of energy entered into my arm and I lifted up the weight.

As soon as I did it, Lord Shiva jumped with joy and gave me a broad smile.

Shiva has both power and compassion. On the one hand Shiva is very compassionate. But on the other hand He uses His third eye to destroy ignorance. His power aspect He uses to destroy ignorance and His compassion aspect He uses to lift up humanity.

— 21 August 1986

Agraha's fervent request

Today was the first day I attempted to lift 320 pounds and it was also Agraha’s birthday. In the morning I tried to lift the weight four times, but I did not succeed. Then Agraha made such a sincere and fervent request for me to try again that I did try again late in the afternoon. That time I did it.

Yesterday was Unmilan’s birthday, so I was honouring both Agraha and Unmilan with my lift. Without Unmilan’s machines, my weightlifting does not exist.

— 21 August 1986

A new creation

Today before I lifted 320 pounds, double my body weight, I knew immediately that something special was going to happen. I said to myself, “Today I am going to make history.” Then, while I was holding up the weight, inwardly and outwardly I was feeling that this was an historical achievement, a new creation in my life. — 21 August 1986

A concentrative charge

Just before I lift, when my hand is on the bar, I move my eyes slowly up and down my arm twice. I go from my fingers to my shoulders with my concentrative power. My whole right arm I surcharge with higher power, but the physical has to hold that power. — 21 August 1986

Weight distribution

When I do my one-arm lifts, I take 70 per cent of the weight in my wrist, 20 per cent in my arms and 10 per cent in the rest of my body. It is a miracle that my narrow wrists do not break from the tremendous pressure. — 21 August 1986

Denizens of the inner worlds

After I lifted 320 pounds, the ceiling was literally flooded with cosmic gods and goddesses, as well as the souls of many of my relatives. They were so proud and happy. — 21 August 1986

My joy devours my disbelief

Many times when I lift, I myself cannot believe that I have lifted such a heavy weight. I am stunned. But then my joy devours my disbelief. — 21 August 1986

An embarrassing moment

Yesterday, on my calf machine, I lifted a total of 106 tons, and afterwards my legs were hurting like anything.

Later, when I went to the United Nations, I met with a great Bengali novelist in the office of Ambassador Chowdhury of the Bangladesh Mission. The novelist is of my age, but immediately he wanted to touch my feet. At least three times during our meeting, with great difficulty, he went to touch my feet. I felt extremely sorry for him, and I desperately wanted to bend down and lift him up, but because of my leg pain, I could not do it.

— 6 September 1986

The Supreme was speaking

I was showing a video of myself lifting 340 pounds. On the tape there was a section where the actual weight was 110 although the sign next to it mentioned 340. The disciples had taken off some of the plates in order to weigh them.

I saw how easily I lifted the 110. Not long ago, I would make such loud sounds while lifting this kind of weight. Now, I am lifting 230 pounds more than this.

Then Agraha said, “Guru, in another year you will be lifting 700 pounds, and 330 pounds for you will be like lifting a feather.”

The Supreme was definitely speaking through Agraha.

— 8 September 1986

Indian theory and American theory

If people ask me about the way veins show on some bodybuilders, I have to say that I can’t appreciate it. Our Indian theory is that if the veins come out, you are very weak. Of course, the American theory is that this means you are very strong. — 9 September 1986

An Englishman's sentiment

They say that British people have no sentiment. Then why did Jim Smith take a British incarnation? He should have taken a Bengali incarnation since he has such a large heart! — 10 September 1986

Nobody guessed it

Yesterday when I tried to lift 350 pounds for the first time, 350 was responding so nicely. I told some of the disciples that it was a matter of days, not a matter of weeks, before I would be able to lift it. Then I asked them to guess how many days it would take. Some said three, others four or five and one said two. Inwardly I knew that I would lift it today, but nobody guessed one day. — 11 September 1986

Progress

I first tried lifting 300 pounds on May 23rd and I eventually succeeded on August 11th, after 80 days. It was my 214th attempt. Then I tried 313 pounds. I began on August 12th and I did it on August l9th — eight days later. Then I jumped to 320 pounds, which was double my body weight. I started the morning of August 21st, Agraha’s birthday, and I did it the afternoon of that same day. At his request I did it. Now I need a few more disciples’ birthdays to inspire me. It took a long time to go to 330 pounds — two weeks! But to reach 340 pounds it took only 12 attempts and for 350 ˝ pounds, just eight attempts. So my speed is increasing. I think I am still getting the benefit from attempting 300 pounds for two and a half months. — 11 September 1986

The power of gratitude

Absolutely the fastest way to make progress in the inner life is through gratitude. When I look at my 350-pound dumb-bell, believe me, perhaps my mind is more frightened than yours! But when I offer my gratitude to the Supreme early in the morning, there is no fear at all. — 11 September 1986

Heaven's door is only for jokers

I enjoy joking with the Germans. This morning I told Shikha, Sutikhna and Minati that Madal Bal has to give me a stronger-than-the-strongest drink so that I can lift up 700 pounds. In this lifetime if you don’t cut jokes, Heaven’s door will not be open for you. Heaven’s door is open only for jokers. — 11 September 1986

A calf story

This afternoon Unmilan and others put a dumb-bell with 350 pounds on it in front of my house. Next to it they put a calf which also weighed about 350 pounds. They had rented the calf from the zoo. Then they took a picture of me standing next to the weight and the calf. In this way they wanted to show how much weight 350 pounds is. — 11 September 1986

Let the dogs bark

As you know, my weightlifting has attracted a few critics. When I was trying for my God-realisation, it was only between God and myself. But now that I am trying for God-manifestation, there are some critics.

Ramakrishna told Vivekananda a story about an elephant walking to the market. All around it dogs were barking, but the elephant looked neither to the right nor to the left. It just went straight ahead to the goal.

I was a lion in my last animal incarnation. Bill Pearl was also a lion. So we are two lions who are able to roar. The dogs can bark because the lions are quiet. But if the lions should start to roar, then the dogs will disappear immediately.

— 12 September 1986

The test of faith

There are many times when I say serious things by way of joke. I start with absurd jokes but, in the back of my mind, I know that reality and divinity are being consciously expressed in my joking manner, which almost borders on absurdity.

Two days ago, by way of a real joke — but I am saying that divinity was involved — I asked some disciples in my house how many of them had faith that I would one day be able to lift up 700 pounds with one arm. Most of them were silent, except for one or two. I didn’t want to embarrass them, but the monkey or donkey in me spoke. I said that if they had this kind of faith in my capacity, I would put them in a garbage bag, seal it and throw it out!

If my Beloved Supreme wants to use my right arm to lift up 700 pounds, He will — no matter how little faith my disciples have in me.

— 12 September 1986

Going to 400 pounds

About three months ago I cried when I tried to lift 300 pounds. Now I am trying to add another 100 pounds and lift 400. Yesterday I started with 360 pounds. Then I shall go to 370, 380, 390 and 400.

Two people who will be really happy when I lift 400 pounds are Bill Pearl and Jim Smith. Jim Smith has predicted that I will do 400 pounds. My brother Chitta does not like predictions or outer promises. So, on the one hand, he will laugh at me for saying I will do 400 pounds; on the other hand, he will be the one to cry and die every day to know if I have done it. Outwardly he will laugh but inwardly he will desperately cry and intensely pray for me to do it. Lately, my sister has been reminding me of my promise to stop after 300 pounds. She has been begging me to stop. My 350 pounds made her very sad.

— 14 September 1986

Celebrating myself

This morning I was having breakfast with some of the disciples. Garima was wearing a T-shirt which mentioned my 300-pound lift. It was not an old T-shirt, but 300 pounds is old for me. I was saying that I really wanted my disciples to be able to wear a 400-pound T-shirt in the New York Marathon next month. At the speed I am going, perhaps by then I will have lifted either 380 pounds or 400 pounds. At any rate, it will only be a difference of a few pounds.

While we were talking, I had the idea to buy myself a cake in honour of 400 pounds. It is the first time I have ever bought myself a cake, although I have been given hundreds of cakes by my disciples. When I went to the man to ask him to write “400” on the top, he said: “Let me congratulate you first. I know you are the guy who did 300 pounds.” Then he shook hands with me and asked a few more questions such as which arm I use. The man was very nice. How do these people know about my weightlifting?

Now that I have given myself a cake, I have to do it! Like Walt Whitman, I am celebrating myself.

— 14 September 1986

My mother and father

This morning, when I lifted 360 pounds for the first time, my mother’s soul came. My eyes were wide open and she was facing me. As I was lifting it, she was watching me very seriously, not fearfully but with such seriousness. Was I lifting the weight or was I only looking at my mother? I did not know if she was happy or displeased.

On the fourth attempt — which was my best lift — both my father and my mother came even before I concentrated. This time, my mother was smiling and my father looked very serious. Then they both left.

I never do five lifts in the morning. It is always four. But today, after the fourth lift, I was so happy that I wanted to do another one. O God, I couldn’t do it! This time, my mother and father had gone away. They had no time to wait.

If you see this kind of thing — father and mother — how can you concentrate? You get such joy, it either ruins your concentration or you get extra energy.

— 15 September 1986

Hanuman's tail

This morning, as I was about to lift 370 pounds for the third time, whom did I see? My departed disciples Agni and Ananta standing side by side. Ananta was holding the flag, as usual, and Agni was clapping.

Now, do I ever see Hanuman? On my fourth lift, all of a sudden, he came. Poor Agni and Ananta! As soon as they saw Hanuman’s tail, they were so frightened that they disappeared. When Hanuman comes, his tail resembles a lion and that is why they were so frightened.

Here I was lifting 370 pounds, but inside I was in a laughing consciousness because Agni and Ananta ran away.

— 17 September 1986

It happened to be my car

Our philosophy is self-transcendence. Two days ago, I lifted a car with my calves. At that time, no human beings were sitting in the car. Today, again, I wanted to lift a car. This time it happened to be my car. When some of the disciples bought me the car, they told me it was gold. But when I got it, I saw that it was brown. The weight of the car is 2,960 pounds and the apparatus for lifting it is 82 pounds. So, altogether 3,042 pounds were loaded onto the machine.

I lifted the car twice. Then, on the third lift, Ranjana, Unmilan and Vinaya were inside the car. The weight on the calf machine was 3,521 pounds. On the fourth lift, five persons were inside. The car and the weight came to 3,811 pounds. On the fifth lift, seven persons and the car totalled 4,107 pounds.

On the sixth lift — this one really killed me — four persons were in the front seat, four were in the back seat and three were on top of the car. There were eleven people altogether. The weight came to 4,515 pounds. I have no idea scientifically how much I actually lifted. Our great mathematicians and physicists are working it out. I lifted the 4,515 pounds twice and held it for around seven seconds. Luckily, I am still alive. Now I shall take rest from the car lift for a long time, because I really suffered a lot.

— 19 September 1986

My speechless friend

While I was lifting the car with the disciples sitting inside it, I was not even in the human world; I was in the inner world. When I was about to do my sixth lift — the car plus eleven disciples sitting inside and on the trunk — I was clearly seeing Bill Pearl’s soul next to me. The soul said to me, “It is too much, too much!”

I said to the soul, “I know, I know. But please help me!”

Then his soul said, “Definitely.”

After I lifted the car and eleven disciples, I soulfully thanked Bill Pearl’s soul for its help and the soul made the comment, “Stupendous!”

Then I did exactly the same thing again. This time, the soul was so amazed that it was absolutely speechless.

— 19 September 1986

My solid goal

This morning I transcended myself in the one-arm lift by lifting 380 pounds. 390 pounds I am not going to do, because I don’t like the number 90. So, from today on, I am aiming at 400 pounds. This is my solid goal. Let it take even forty days if necessary! — 19 September 1986

Ganapati's visit

This morning, when I was trying to lift 380 pounds, my dearest friend Jyotish, who died a long time ago of leukemia, came to watch me from the soul’s world.

Then, on my third lift, I saw Ganapati, the elephant god who is also known as Ganesh. As a matter of fact Ganesh is my astrological name. By coincidence, Jyotish means “astrologer.” Ganapati and Jyotish have a very close connection in the inner world. Ganapati is the one who gives realisation. So in India, before you do any puja, first you have to bow to Ganapati. When Ganapati came to watch me, He occupied the entire wall on my right hand side and His huge elephant trunk was moving all around.

— 19 September 1986

The first push

Today, the first time I lifted Ranjana’s car, I got such a severe cramp in my left side. This cramp was not like a running cramp. A running cramp is a sharp pain, but it does not cover the whole area. This cramp that I got while I was lifting covered the whole muscle, like a round biscuit.

Although in terms of weight this lift was supposed to be 60 pounds less than when I lifted the last car, this time it seemed heavier. When I succeed in lifting, at the very first push it goes up. But if it does not go up when I first push, then it will never go up. There is no hope. It will only sink. So if on the very first jerk it does not go up, then there is no hope. This applies to both the car and my one-arm lift.

— 21 September 1986

My photographer

When I was lifting at the tennis court this morning, Dhananjaya took so many pictures. But when I was lifting with the heaviest people — Amayik, Byron, Sahishnu and others — at that time he was so amazed that he didn’t take any pictures. Can you imagine?

He came up to me and said, “Can you forgive me?”

But he had taken so many other excellent pictures before that.

— 21 September 1986

Two wooden legs

Today, when I was playing tennis after lifting the car, those six boys on my calf machine and so on, I didn’t have the strength in my legs to take even one further step. Both my legs were like two wooden things, absolutely numb, with no sensation at all. I played mechanically, using only my will-power. Even then the boys didn’t win. I won nine games and they won one. God alone knows when my bragging will end. — 21 September 1986

The Bengali boxer

Soon I will lift an elephant, the way I have lifted cars. Now, if my disciples make it so difficult, if they use an elephant that weighs too much, then I will ask them to try to lift it instead of me. If I fail, then I will say, “All right, now you try.”

Once in India there was a very great Bengali boxer. They tied a rope around him, like the ones used in tug-of-war, full of grease. He had escaped from the rope so many times. But this time, when he tried, he couldn’t do it. One thousand people were watching. Some people showed sympathy; some were laughing.

Then he started screaming at his student, saying that he had to do it, since he was to one who had asked him to come and perform. So the student could not do it.

— 21 September 1986

The 400-pound dumb-bell

About a month ago, I tried so hard to move the 400-pound weight, even on the same level. I could not move it at all.

I was telling the Supreme, “You always cut jokes with me. Now I am cutting jokes with You.”

Now I have made such fast progress from 300 to 400. It is all due to confidence and also the fact that my muscle power has increased — which means my receptivity to God’s Compassion and God’s Grace has increased.

Exactly one month ago, on Agraha’s birthday, I lifted double my body weight, 320. Today I have done 80 pounds more — 400. But I don’t think I have gained 80 pounds!

— 21 September 1986

A miracle for earth

Today’s weightlifting prayer that I gave before I tried to lift 400 pounds is different from some of my other weightlifting prayers. That is because, in the intuitive world, I knew that I would succeed in my lift today. That much intuition I have. I knew at least a half hour in advance. So today my prayer was:

```

My Lord Supreme, my Beloved Supreme,

I know, I know, each miracle performed

Here on earth by human beings

Is the descent of Your special Compassion-Blessing

From Your high Vision-Light-Heaven to earth

So that she can inspire her children

To believe in Your higher worlds and inner worlds

And thus become Your choice instruments

To manifest Your Divinity here on earth.

```

— 21 September 1986

A family gathering

This morning I started weightlifting around 7:27. On my first attempt, which I always use as a warm-up, I got the weight up a little. So I was filled with confidence that I would achieve my goal. However, on my second attempt, the weight didn’t move at all and I became furious. I said to myself, “Today I have decided to lift up 400 pounds. Now who will dare to stand in my way at this time?”

On the third lift, I saw my whole family seated by the wall to my right. Some had already departed this world and some are alive, but I saw them so vividly! They were more real than actual human beings. My mother and my sister Lily were seated side by side. Above them were Ahana and Arpita. Then Hriday, Chitta and Mantu were above them. Finally, on the very top, was my father. All of them were in a very soulful and very intense consciousness.

As soon as I finished my third lift, they all smiled soulfully. But the brightest smile came from my eldest brother, Hriday. His whole face beamed with joy. He said, “Madal, you are our Lord Sri Aurobindo’s genuine pride.”

Then my sister Lily asked me to try again. “I am more than satisfied,” I told her. “No, try again!” she begged. So, at my sister’s request, I did try again.

My whole family remained seated in the same position, and once again they were watching me seriously, soulfully and intensely. The most poise I saw in my mother. Being a mother, she could have been full of panic, worry and anxiety, but she was only intense and serious.

Then I lifted the 400 pounds again, and this lift was even better. I was so happy and my family were all so excited. Their happiness far, far surpassed my own. My happiness was nothing in comparison to theirs.

My father came to me and put his palms on my head to bless me. “I wanted this for you,” he said.

Then my mother came to bless me. I had to bend down because she is so short, whereas my father is tall. On the video you can see how I was bending so that she could bless me. How affectionately she was blessing me, with tears of joy in her eyes. She was pouring her love and affection into me.

Then my eldest brother Hriday came and pressed my shoulders with his hands.

Next, my brother Chitta approached me very happily and proudly. He said, “Bravo! Bravo!”

Then my eldest sister, Arpita, came and said, “Useless, useless, useless!”

“What is useless?” I asked her.

She replied, “I cannot pray to God for your weightlifting. I can only pray to God for you to have a few good disciples. Your weightlifting will give me joy only if you can have a few good disciples.”

Then came my sister Ahana, whom we used to call Mary. She came and told me, “Earth does not know who you are and perhaps will never know who you are. But we in Heaven know who you eternally are.”

My sister Lily was next. First she looked into my left eye, then into my right eye, then into my left eye and finally again into my right eye. Then she placed her hand on her own heart and offered her gratitude to God.

Then the last one to come was my brother Mantu. “Enough,” he said. “Enough in this life.”

After the conversation, when the heavenly scene was over, I offered my gratitude to my Lord Supreme and to my Mother Kali. Then I hurried to the phone to give Ranjana the happiest news. Ranjana came to my house and from there she called Unmilan to come also. I invited a few others, and we all watched the video together.

So this is the way to have life-confidence. You have to say, “Tomorrow, I will be an unconditionally surrendered disciple.” As I said, “I am doing it; I have done it,” so you have to say, “I shall do it; I have done it.” Now that I have played my role, you have to play your role with utmost determined inner confidence and inner certitude.

— 21 September 1986

Really strong!

The other day I was reading a funny book. It said that to prove how strong your fingers are, you should put a match stick between your fingers and break it. So I did it.

Then I said, “Let me try two.” After I broke two, I said, “Now let me try three.”

I also broke three. Then I said, “Oh, I am really strong!”

— 23 September 1986

The friendly elephant

Before I lifted the elephant in Connecticut this morning, I garlanded it. I was telling the elephant, “We have to become very good friends.”

We were very good friends when I was lifting it up and also when I was offering it my gratitude. But, at the last minute, the elephant frightened me and I had to run away.

The elephant’s name was Karen, the same as Mahiyan’s sister.

— 23 September 1986

The specialist

About six months ago I went to a leg specialist. The lady examined my legs and said they were so weak that she wondered how I could walk. Then she gave me exercises to strengthen my legs. She told me to put five-pound weights around my ankles and lift. And she charged me $100 for that message.

She did it all by computer. The computer gave the message that my legs were so bad. We should send her a picture of my calf raise.

— 23 September 1986

The unfamiliar soul

Bill Pearl’s soul started coming to me in Japan. God knows how many times his soul has come since then. Perhaps his soul had visited me before that, years ago, but I knew nothing about him outwardly. At that time I was paying no attention to bodybuilding. That is why I could not find him on the outer plane. Now his soul is familiar to me. — 23 September 1986

Lord Krishna's divine presence

Today I lifted up 450 pounds. It was my second day of practice and my seventh attempt altogether. Before I lifted, I gave this prayer:

```

My Lord Supreme, do give me the strength

That can love the world in Your own Way.

Do give me the strength

That can serve the world in Your own Way.

Do give me the strength

That will fulfil the world in Your own Way,

My Lord, my Lord.

```

Then, while I was lifting the weight, Lord Krishna was blessing me with His divine Presence. I saw Him in His golden form. He was holding the sudarshan chakra in His Hand and this disc was rotating very fast.

Now I have put 503 pounds on the rack, so let us see how long it takes.

— 26 September 1986

My 500-pound story

How tired one can become coming back from Manhattan! While coming home from the city this afternoon, the car didn’t move; there was such traffic! I became so tired. But then when I got home, I lifted 503 pounds with my one-arm lift.

Usually when I lift, after my first and second attempts I do not sit down. Then, after my third attempt I sit down on my exercise chair for a few seconds and concentrate to get added blessing-strength. This time, when I was sitting down after my third, fourth, fifth and sixth attempts, Mother Kali came. She was blessing me and caressing my head.

Afterwards, when I called India, my sister said that in a dream she had seen Mother Kali blessing me. My sister said she had been worrying like anything since my 300-pound lift. On the one hand she is full of tremendous joy and pride because of my weightlifting achievements. On the other hand, she is dying of worries.

Before I started lifting this evening, my weightlifting prayer was very significant:

```

My Lord Supreme,

May Your absolute Victory supreme

Be proclaimed at every moment

In and through my aspiration-heart

And my dedication-life.

```

— 29 September 1986

From:Sri Chinmoy,My weightlifting tears and smiles, part 1, Agni Press, 1986
Sourced from https://srichinmoylibrary.com/wts_1