Everest-Aspiration, part 3
Examination1“My Beloved Lord Supreme, do tell me only one thing to satisfy my curiosity. Do You try to examine me? You say that You do not try to examine me, but it seems to me that at times You do try to examine me. Am I correct in my feeling?”
“My child, to be very frank with you, I do not examine you. Examination is not a way of teaching anybody. Examination only creates fear, undue fear, in the student, no matter how brilliant the student is. The student fears that he will fail and be embarrassed, and then the world will look down upon him. What you call examination, I call illumination-game. I do not examine you to pass you or fail you. I just want to play the illumination-game with you so that you do not underestimate your capacity or overestimate your capacity. When you underestimate your capacity, unconsciously you cherish false modesty, and when you overestimate your capacity, you make friends with an exorbitant depression-ignorance. To underestimate one’s capacity and to overestimate one’s capacity are equally bad.
“In your life of aspiration and dedication, when you play the game of illumination, you have to feel the necessity of bringing your inner cry to the fore, and also your ignorance-lethargy to the fore. You have to surrender not only the divine part of your existence but also the undivine part.
“So My examination is not an examination in the true sense of the term. It is an offering for your self-perfection. In your present state of consciousness, ignorance and light, falsehood and truth your mind has cleverly accumulated in your body-consciousness and vital consciousness. I wish you to offer to Me all that you have and all that you are. It is integral self-offering which you must make. You will get illumination from Me through the process of purification and self-offering of all that you have. What you have to offer is your beauty-heart. It is the beauty of your own existence within and without, that you offer. The lesser beauty, which you call ignorance, and the higher beauty you have to offer to Me, and in return I will offer you self-illumination.
“This is the game I play with you. It is our illumination-game and never, never, never an examination — far from it! It is a joint illumination.”
EA 51. 17 July 1977, 8:40 a.m. — Jamaica High School Track, Jamaica, New York.↩
Gifts1“My Beloved Supreme, I have some gifts for You. My first gift is my soulful cry. My second gift is my fruitful smile. My third and special gift is my oneness-heart. My fourth and extra-special gift is my gratitude-flame.”
“My child, I am all gratitude to you, and I have also a gift for you. This is My gift: I need you infinitely more than you can ever imagine. With you I started My Vision’s journey; with you I shall reach My Reality’s Satisfaction-Goal.”
EA 52. 17 July 1977, 3:00 p.m. — in transit from Jamaica, New York to Washington, D.C..↩
Who is the winner?1Who is the winner? Not he who wins, but he who has established his cheerful oneness with the result, which is an experience in the form of failure or success, a journey forward or a journey backward.
Who is the winner? Not he who wins the race, but he who loves to run sleeplessly and breathlessly with God the supreme Runner.
Who is the winner? Not he whose glory we sing, but he who embodies God’s Compassion-Light in abundant measure.
Who is the winner? Not he who has acquired tremendous name and fame and amassed a big fortune, but he who requires only one thing: God-satisfaction in God’s own Way.
EA 53. 17 July 1977, 3:05 p.m. — in transit from Jamaica, New York to Washington, D.C..↩
Two trains1Two trains: the train of desire and the train of aspiration. The desire-train starts at the nothingness-hunger-station and stops at the frustration-starvation-station. The aspiration-train starts at the soulfulness-thirst-station and stops at the illumination-feast-station.
If you are a passenger on the desire-train, you may not actually know what is good for you and what is bad for you. You will enter into the desire-train only to suffer. If you are a passenger on the aspiration-train, you do not have to know what is good and what is bad for you, for God Himself chooses for you. Therefore, once you enter into the aspiration-train, you will only prosper and prosper both in the inner world and in the outer world. The inner prosperity is your heart’s breathless cry. The outer prosperity is your life’s sleepless smile.
EA 54. 17 July 1977, 3:10 p.m. — in transit from Jamaica, New York to Washington, D.C..↩
Who is knocking?1Who is knocking? Satan? Do not bother me. Today I have many important things to do.
Who is knocking? Man? Please come at some other time. Unfortunately, I am quite busy now.
Who is knocking? God? Why do You embarrass me, Lord? Do You need my permission to enter into my heart-room?
“My son, perhaps you are not fully ready to receive Me. I am knocking just to inform you that I shall come again to visit your gratitude-room, your surrender-shrine and your perfection-self-offering. My son, you take your own time. I am not at all in a hurry. But I shall definitely come to pay you My blessingful Visit.”
EA 55. 17 July 1977, 3:15 p.m. — in transit from Jamaica, New York to Washington, D.C..↩
Disobedience and penalty1Disobedience and penalty: are they inseparable friends? Yes, they are. Our mother Eve disobeyed, and our father Adam disobeyed. They disobeyed once, only once, but they were forced to pay a severe penalty, and they did pay the penalty. Alas, what is worse, we who are their descendants are still paying the penalty, paying for their disobedience. Is it fair? Perhaps it is; perhaps it is not. In humanity’s eye the penalty was, is and remains unbearable. In Divinity’s Eye this penalty is more than negligible in comparison to the fathomless Love, Joy, Concern and Blessings that our parents, Eve and Adam, received from God before they descended, nay, before they helplessly and hopelessly fell from the Garden of Eden.
Our old family’s old friend was sin; but at long last we have mustered courage, inner and outer, to have two new friends: a self-giving cry and a God-becoming smile.
EA 56. 17 July 1977, 3:20 p.m. — in transit from Jamaica, New York to Washington, D.C..↩
Secrets1God’s secret is a beginningless Silence. Man’s secret is an endless sound.
God’s secret is to give what He has: Compassion. Man’s secret is to possess from others what he does not have: material wealth, power and other things.
God’s secret is to create and divinely enjoy a new Vision-Light. Man’s secret is to destroy everything that he sees, to destroy everyone that he knows.
God’s secret is to forgive and forget constantly. Man’s secret is never to forgive, never to forget.
God’s secret is to cry soulfully before He smiles satisfactorily. Man’s secret is to cry before he dies and cry while he is dying so that he can reach God’s Heaven and be greeted by God Himself. At this, God does not know whether to smile or cry. Therefore, He laughs.
EA 57. 17 July 1977, 3:25 p.m. — in transit from Jamaica, New York to Washington, D.C..↩
Something is missing1Something is missing. What is it? Man’s gratitude-drop. Something is found. What is it? Man’s haughty pride. Who needs it? Nobody! No, not even the all-devouring death.
Something is missing. What is it? Man’s service-hands. Something is found. What is it? Man’s feeling of worthlessness. Who needs it? Nobody! No, not even the worst possible fool on earth.
Something is missing. What is it? Man’s responsibility-tree. Something is found. What is it? Man’s satisfaction-compromise. Who needs it? Nobody! No, not even the saint who is all forgiveness. The saint is willing to forgive ignorance, but he will never make any compromise with ignorance-illusion.
EA 58. 17 July 1977, 9:10 p.m. — American University, Washington D.C..↩
Off the path1You are off the path. What does it mean? Does it mean that from now on you will be helpless, hopeless and useless? No, far from it. From now on only one thing will happen and that is the fulfilment of your oneness with your vital and your vital life. Your vital has chalked out a path for you and you want to walk along that path. Previously, you were walking along the path of the soul. There the soul was your leader-friend. Now your vital will be your leader-friend.
When you walked on your soul’s path, you made many promises to God, inner promises. These promises, from now on, you will be under no obligation to fulfil. God, too, made a solemn promise to you, and His promise that He would grant you conscious liberation from the meshes of ignorance, and absolute oneness with Him, is also withdrawn. You can say temporarily, you can say indefinitely; it depends on how long your friendship with your vital leader-friend lasts.
Now you have left the path of the soul and you have entered into the path of the vital. If you criticise the path of the soul, if you feel that there is nothing worthwhile to be found on the path of the soul, and that it was a terrible mistake on your part to enter into that path, then naturally you will stay indefinitely on the vital path.
Now you have decided that the path of the vital is the true path, the path where you will succeed, where you will meet with satisfaction. If this is what you feel, then not only are you mistaken, but the real in you, the soul in you, will not put up with such an absurd statement. Your soul will indefinitely withdraw. But if you feel that the path of the soul was hard, arduous and difficult for you, and if you have chosen this other path because it is a lesser path, an easier path, then your soul will forgive you and wait for you with absolute patience. The soul feels that your helplessness and hopelessness is not a thing to be encouraged or justified; far from it. But the compassion of the soul will rain on your weakness, and the soul will grant you another chance in two years or five years or ten years. But if you find fault with the soul’s discrimination, if you criticise the soul’s attempt to execute God’s Will in and through you, then the soul will withdraw from you for quite a few years or for this entire incarnation. It may happen that this withdrawal may even last for quite a few incarnations — if you believe in reincarnation, of course.
When you go off the path, it is parting time between you and your soul. When you become one with your vital-friend, your soul will withdraw. When you leave the path, you are saying goodbye. You tell the soul, “Someday in the distant future our ways shall cross.” The soul soulfully says, “I hope so.”
EA 59. 18 July 1977, 6:45 a.m. — Jamaica High School track, Jamaica, New York.↩
Disobedience is the order of the day1Disobedience is the order of the day. No matter what I do, no matter how many times I write about disobedience, no matter how many times I speak about disobedience, it seems that disobedience from the disciples will never end. Even yesterday I spoke about disobedience, about what happened when Adam and Eve disobeyed God. Then later, when we were on the bus, I asked you people to sing. There was not even one enthusiastic singer. I blame the leader of your group one hundred per cent. If the leader does not have the necessary obedience and enthusiasm, then it is a really painful shock. I won’t blame anybody else if you go to sleep or do not show interest. But from the leader if there is no enthusiastic movement or approach to the rest of the members, then I feel very sad. And from the members also there should have been two or three to come and inspire the leader to sing. Now, I am the supreme leader. When I say, “Do something,” if the disciples don’t agree, or go to sleep, then I will take care of them in my own way. But the leader that I appoint also has to be responsible.
On the one hand I am taking you people here, there, elsewhere. You don’t get time to practise and I am sorry. But again, I feel that these things are absolutely necessary to spread my light. Yesterday quite a few people came to our concert. They were extremely receptive. In the bus you had plenty of time to practise, but whatever pleases you, you do. What pleases me, you had no time to do. For one hour or so you entered into the entertainment-world. That is what you did.
When I take your time away and you cannot practise, I compensate. But when I ask you to sing, at that time you are tired, unwilling, exhausted. You may think that this is nothing; Guru will not take it seriously. But I will take it seriously even if I ask you to budge an inch and do not give any rhyme or reason. If you do not do it, then it is recorded on the tablet of my heart. You don’t think that I am asking you to do something important; I am not asking you to jump off the Empire State Building to show the world that you are obedient. To do something striking in order to show your obedience is easy. But real obedience has to take place at every moment, in every action. If I request that you move an inch, please feel that this request is of paramount importance. It is as if I have asked you for everything. The mind will say, “This is easier than the easiest. Therefore, if I don’t do it, no harm.” But if you do not do something extremely easy, will you do something very difficult?
From now on I want you people to take any request from me as a divine command. I have had enough sad experiences. Even when I ask you to do something in a light vein, you have to do it. From now on, no matter who the disciple is, if I make a mere request, do it. Otherwise, your disobedience in the inner world will be digging your own grave. From now on, please take my request as a divine command, coming consciously from the Absolute Supreme. Otherwise, I will be very sad and disturbed. For yesterday’s disobedience I blame your leader one hundred per cent. I won’t blame others, because the leader is my representative in a specific field. I don’t know what I shall do with you people in the future if I see disobedience reigning supreme in your lives. So please, please, do not disobey me.
You do not know who I am. Unfortunately or fortunately, I know who I am. If I know who I am to you, to God, to the entire world, I have to behave to you in that way. If you are prepared to sing with me and dance with me, then when I say, “Sit down,” you have to do it. This kind of obedience you need.
This applies to all of you. I show you tremendous love, affection, concern, everything. Even your stupid mind will sometimes believe it. The other day I gave a talk on how I will use my Justice-Height, and not my Compassion-Light. I ask you in this life to do or not to do only one or two things. When I ask you two, three, four times not to do something, afterwards I will become very strict. I will give you a last warning, and if you still disobey me, then I will ask you to leave the Centre. It is very, very painful for me to ask people who have been with us for many years to leave. But only for one reason do I ask people to leave the Centre, and that is disobedience. I will accept or tolerate almost anything that you do except disobedience, because disobedience is just like standing against me. There are two armies fighting. When you openly disobey me, you go to the enemy’s side and fight against the Supreme, against the Supreme’s Will.
Please, please, I beg of you, never disobey me, especially when it is a matter of your emotional life and vital life, which is your immediate destruction. If you disobey me in any aspect of life, at that time I forgive you, but when it is emotional life, I ask you not to do it, especially on the outer plane. On the inner plane you may say that you didn’t get the message. But on the outer plane once I tell you, then you can’t deny it later on.
So to all of you I am saying: please, please do not disobey me. If you disobey me, you are revolting against the Will of the Supreme in me. If you stay outside the Centre, you can enjoy yourself and do whatever you like. But when there is a rebellion inside our sweet little family, I will not be able to put up with it. I have asked two disciples to leave the Centre. My heart breaks, but I abide by the Will of the Supreme. I have no other means to deal with those people. Tomorrow may be your turn if you disobey me. I have to be very strict with you people on the basis of my own oneness with the Supreme. Then there is no father, no mother, no brother, no sister, no son. If I ask you to do something and you don’t do it, then the same kind of fate will befall you tomorrow.
One aspect of mine is singing and dancing with you people. I am your constant friend, your eternal friend. Again, I may have to ask you to leave the Centre, to leave our sweet little family, so that you will not have any conflict between your spiritual life and your outer life. If I have given a warning to any of you here, please take it as the last warning. Then, if you go on disobeying, you know what will be your fate. So be careful, be careful, be careful. If you do the right thing, you are absolutely a jewel inside my gratitude-heart. But if you disobey me, your disobedience will take you people far, far, far away from me. Then you will be totally lost — totally! — and my presence will be sadly missing from your lives.
EA 60. 18 July 1977, 6:55 a.m. — Jamaica High School track, Jamaica, New York.↩
The red stoplight1The red stoplight discourages me when I am in a hurry. The same red light soothes my life when I am not in a hurry.
I want to enjoy the life-breath of time. The red stoplight tells me that life is not always a smooth passage. It warns me for my own good. In no way does it try to prevent me from manifesting my life-saving speed and my life-saving reality.
The red stoplight is my true friend in disguise. In the spiritual world, the red light is my conscience. My conscience never prevents me from doing the right thing; it only wants me not to do undivine things. It is always eager to warn me against doing the wrong thing, and to inspire me to do the right thing.
When I don’t obey the red stoplight, I enter into alarming danger, into the very jaws of death. Similarly, when I don’t listen to the soft, sweet, smiling dictates of my conscience, I may run into dire catastrophe in my life of aspiration. My conscience does not discourage me or prevent me from doing the right thing, but it asks me to remain cautious so that the hungry tiger of the animal-human world does not destroy me.
Because of my conscience, I am a human being. If I abide by the soulful dictates of my conscience, I shall see only the face of satisfaction in my life. This satisfaction is the very beginning of my blossoming belief. When I am satisfied, I blossom forth. When I blossom forth, I feel that I am not only an instrument but the instrument of my Beloved Supreme.
I forever love you and adore you, red stoplight! You are truly the saviour of my outer life. O my conscience, I love and adore you because you are truly the saviour of my inner life. Because of you, I do not dine with ignorance-night; I am safely driving towards Eternity’s Light, Infinity’s Beauty and Immortality’s Love.
EA 61. 18 July 1977, 8:15 a.m. — Jamaica High School track, Jamaica, New York.↩
Yesterday was the time1Yesterday was the time for me to sympathise with the suffering humanity. Today is the time for me to express my genuine concern for the bewildered humanity. Tomorrow will be the time for me to offer my loving service to the desiring humanity. But now, now is the time for me to express my oneness-heart with the hungry humanity.
Sympathy, concern, service, oneness-heart: these are the real members of my inmost family, and these members of my inmost family I wish to share with the rest of the world, with God’s creation, with God the creation.
EA 62. 18 July 1977, 12:30 p.m. — Sri Chinmoy Centre, Jamaica, New York.↩
To be divinely great1To be divinely great is to serve. To be supremely good is to love. To be eternally perfect is to cry within sleeplessly. To be satisfied in God’s own Way is to become consciously and constantly a heart of gratitude-flood.
The human in me desires greatness. The divine in me longs for goodness. The aspiring and ascending God within me yearns for perfection. The loving and manifesting God in me cries for satisfaction.
I wish to become a most intimate and lifelong friend of greatness, goodness, perfection and satisfaction, for it is through them that my Beloved Supreme will smile His eternal Smile and dance His immortal Dance in and for me. May our friendship not only please the human and divine within us, but also please and fulfil our Beloved Supreme deep within us.
EA 63. 18 July 1977, 12:35 p.m. — Sri Chinmoy Centre, Jamaica, New York.↩
If you want to be great1If you want to be great, then keep yourself busy learning everything — everything in everything and everything of everything.
If you want to be good, then keep yourself busy unlearning the things you have learnt in the desire-world, and keep yourself busy learning everything in the aspiration-world.
If you want to be only in the realisation-world, and not in the desire-world or in the aspiration-world, then you do not have to learn anything and you do not have to unlearn anything. You have only to become what you want to become. How can you become what you want to become? You can easily become what you want to become only when you feel that you can never make yourself what you want to become. No human power can do it. Only by the Grace that comes from Above can you do what you want to do and become what you want to become.
How do you get this Grace? You get this Grace if at every moment you shed loving tears of gratitude to the Supreme for what He has done for you out of His infinite Bounty and, again, for what, out of His infinite Bounty, He has not done for you. Many things God has given you out of His infinite Bounty, so that you can be happy, the divine in you can be happy. Again, many things He has not given you for your good. So, because of what He has given you and what He has not given you, you must create a sense of continuous gratitude. Inside that gratitude you are bound to see Him, feel Him and become one with Him in His Divinity’s integral Life.
EA 64. 18 July 1977, 12:40 p.m. — Sri Chinmoy Centre, Jamaica, New York.↩
Gratitude1We are grateful to God, for He is with us here and now. We are grateful to God, for He has created within us a genuine hunger for Him. We are grateful to God, for He has given us a long express train of hope. We are grateful to God, for He has repeatedly told us that He will keep His promise. What is His promise? His promise is that He will not be satisfied unless and until each creation of His satisfies Him in His own Way.
How can we please God in His own Way? First of all, we are now aware of God’s Way of operating. Also, we may feel that something will please God, but how can we know if we are correct in our feelings, or whether it is all mental hallucination? There is a way to know whether we are pleasing God in God’s own Way. We have to dive deep within and destroy or transform the thought-world and replace it with will-power, adamantine will-power. If we are afraid of God’s Will-Power, which is all-powerful, then our life will always remain in untold fear.
We are on earth, here and now, only to please God in God’s own Way. It is a difficult task indeed, but we get joy only when we cross hurdles. If we do not cross hurdles, then there will be no lasting reality and there will be no lasting satisfaction. If we do not do everything here and now, then there will be no satisfaction whatsoever, for today’s goal is only the beginning of tomorrow’s new journey. This new journey and the journey’s goal will come and greet us, for the achievements of the soul and the journey’s goal are inseparable.
When we cry with gratitude, it is the journey’s soul that acts in and through us, which is a splendid achievement. And when we smile with gratitude, it is the journey’s goal that has become one with aspiration’s starting point and with aspiration’s ever-transcending horizon.
EA 65. 18 July 1977, 12:45 p.m. — Sri Chinmoy Centre, Jamaica, New York.↩
In the human world1In the human world there are three things that last forever. At least, so do I think. These are: fear, one’s sense of unworthiness and a doubting and suspicious mind.
In the divine world there are three things that will undoubtedly forever last. These are: faith, courage and love. If a disciple has these three things, then he does not need anything else.
Fear, anxiety and doubt: these are immortal, but in a negative, destructive way, whereas faith, courage and love represent or embody Immortality in a positive way. The human in us will one day transcend itself and accept the divine in us with all its faith, courage and love.
EA 66. 18 July 1977, 7:00 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
Our Beloved Supreme1Our Beloved Supreme is always ready to lead us, but it is we who have to cultivate the desire to follow Him. Our Beloved Supreme is always eager, more than eager, to make us feel that He loves us constantly, but it is we who have to cultivate the willingness to believe Him.
Our Beloved Supreme is always ready to help us fight against ignorance-night, but it is we who have to feel the real necessity to be in wisdom-light and not in ignorance-night. If we want wisdom-light, then only shall we accept His Service.
Our Beloved Supreme is always ready and more than eager to cry for us to attain the highest Reality-Height, but He expects in return just a little soulful smile from us. If we do not offer Him a little soulful smile, then He will not be able to create a receptivity-vessel within us. If we do not have a receptacle within us, then when He cries for us, we will not be able to see Him crying or feel His cry. So what we need is a receptivity-vessel when He cries. This receptivity-vessel is nothing short of an echo-reality, for His cry has to echo and re-echo in the inmost recesses of our hearts. This is what our Beloved Supreme longs for from us, so that He can cry and cry from His own ever-transcending Heights only for our salvation, liberation, realisation and perfection — for us, only for us.
EA 67. 18 July 1977, 7:05 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
God's Compassion flows, God's Justice grows1God’s Compassion tells me that I can do nothing without Him. God’s Justice tells me that He has given me the necessary capacity to become what I sincerely, soulfully want to become. Not only will God’s Justice give me what I divinely want to have, but also it will give me the capacity to become as perfect as God Himself.
The hero in us cries for God’s Justice. The beggar in us cries for God’s Compassion. The hero in us knows perfectly well that when God exercises His Justice, the hero will be able to run faster than the fastest and will eventually become wiser than the wisest. On him God will shower His better-than-the-best Concern-Height and Love-Delight. Again, in order to make us great, good and divine, God the Compassion is constantly showering His Compassion on us.
The beggar in us is also laziness incarnate. He begs, but only for a short while; then he gives up totally. He does not have the necessary capacity to stick to his principles and be ready to pay the price. The beggar in us only wants Compassion unconditionally from God. God can give His unconditional Concern and Love to the beggar in us, but once we get it, then there is every possibility that the beggar in us will not appreciate it because it was given unconditionally. When God does something unconditionally and man does not do anything to deserve it, then man does not value it. Therefore, God always expects us to do something — to try, to cry — in order to value His Gifts. God can give us whatever we want, whatever we need, but it is we who will not be satisfied. It is we who will not be pleased with ourselves unless we have offered our mite to God’s Cosmic Plan.
God fervently wishes that the beggar in us will one day give up begging and start choosing like a divine hero, a supreme hero, who knows what he wants and, in order to get it, offers up his body, vital, mind, heart and soul as a flaming sacrifice. We must not remain always veritable beggars. It is high time for us, it is our bounden duty, to grow into divine heroes and live the life of supreme heroism. What is the supreme heroism? The supreme heroism is to give ourselves ceaselessly and unconditionally so that God can fulfil Himself in and through us in His own Way. When He fulfils Himself in His own Way, it means that He is liberating, fulfilling and immortalising His expanded and extended Cosmic Reality.
EA 68. 18 July 1977, 7:10 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
To live in the desire-world1To live in the desire-world is to live on tiptoe. How long can one live on tiptoe where anxiety, worry, tension, fear and doubt reign supreme? In the desire-world, the poison of the individual and the poison of the world, in secrecy supreme, kill each other. The world is killed by the individual’s poison and the world kills the individual with its poison. This poison comes into existence from jealousy, doubt and suspicion.
The only way one can stop living on tiptoe is to feel that one is God’s creation. The creation can never be neglected by the Creator. As ordinary human beings we do not destroy even a little painting that we have done. So how can God the Creator, whose creation is nothing but an exact image of His own Reality-Existence, destroy the world? Each individual has to feel that it is the need of the Supreme to create him, it is the need of the Supreme to sustain him, it is the need of the Supreme to fulfil him in a divine way.
To live on tiptoe is to forget one’s Source, who is also the Source of Light and Delight. To live on tiptoe is to consciously make friends with the negative, destructive world, the temptation-world, where worry, anxiety, fear and doubt run riot.
Instead of living on tiptoe, you can live in the very heart of the Lord’s divine Pride, provided you feel that it is your own duty, your sole duty, to cast aside your personal necessity and become one with your Beloved Supreme’s divine Necessity. Your own necessity is desire-bound, and when it is fulfilled, inside it destruction looms large. So if you want to find your true satisfaction, then find it at the right place: inside God’s Compassion-Height. That is the only place to discover your satisfaction-right.
You are following the path of spirituality. Your heart is all aspiration. In the life of aspiration you are preparing for a life of total surrender. You will not only surrender your aspiration-life and dedication-life, but also your desire-life, your ignorance-life, with equal joy, equal love, equal confidence, equal certainty. Only then will there be no necessity on your part to hide from God or to try to hide your thoughts from Him. You and your integral existence must always reside in the Supreme. This is the only way for you to become totally perfect and inseparably one with Eternity’s Vision-Light and Infinity’s Manifestation-Delight.
EA 69. 18 July 1977, 7:15 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
I was a student of prayer1I was a student of prayer, but I can’t say that I enjoyed my studies. When I was a student of prayer, anxiety and worry killed me. At times even fear and doubt killed me.
Then I became a student of meditation. When I was a student of meditation, at times I had confidence in my meditation, and at times I totally lacked confidence. Therefore, I did not succeed in a striking manner. Because meditation is all peace-expansion, light-expansion, love-expansion and oneness-expansion, I could have progressed fast, very fast. But I did not.
When I became a student of self-giving, I discovered immediately that my self-giving was growing into something infinitely more than I had ever dreamed of, something that I never would have had the capacity to acquire. What was it? A fruitful life of God-becoming vision-light and God-manifesting manifestation-delight.
I want to remain only a student of self-giving. The other two I do not want, I do not need separately. I do not need them as a separate existence in my self-giving. My self-giving includes meditation, prayer, everything. Therefore, what I need always is a self-giving cry and a self-giving smile.
EA 70. 18 July 1977, 7:20 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
I wanted to tell God1I wanted to tell God that I sincerely love Him. It was on the tip of my tongue. Alas, Satan came. As soon as I saw Satan, I totally forgot to tell God what I had intended to say.
I wanted to tell God that I need Him constantly. It was on the tip of my tongue. Alas, alas, Satan came at that very moment and ruined my inspiration. The very presence of Satan ruined all my joy, and I totally forgot to tell God what I had intended to say.
I wanted to tell God that I shall become unconditionally His most devoted instrument. It was all planned. It was on the tip of my tongue. Alas, Satan came and gave me an unwarranted frown. His frown took away all my inspiration, all my joy. All at once I felt miserable, and I enjoyed my misery to such an extent that I totally forgot to tell my Beloved Supreme what I had intended to say.
I wanted to tell my ignorance-friend that I would no longer speak to him. I had it all planned. It was on the tip of my tongue. Ah, who came to strengthen my promise? My Beloved Supreme.
I wanted to tell ignorance that from now on mine is the way of light, mine is the goal of delight, and that I must leave ignorance for good. It was on the tip of my tongue. Ah, who came to strengthen my promise? My eternally old, everlastingly old and, at the same time, ever-amazingly new friend, my Beloved Supreme.
EA 71. 18 July 1977, 7:25 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
I lived only twice1I lived only twice: once in the kingdom of strangling and devouring animals and once in the kingdom of doubting and suspecting human beings.
I am living now only twice: once in the world of hesitation and once in the world of unawareness.
I shall be living only twice: once in the smile of my gratitude-heart and once in the heart of God’s Satisfaction-Light.
To grow and experience more and more, to become most spiritually mature, I shall live only twice: once inside the aspiration-plant and once inside the realisation-tree and realisation-fruit.
From now on, I shall make it a special point to live in my aspiration-world. There I shall see that my beloved Lord is crying and ascending to open up a new world of light, a new world of promise.
EA 72. 18 July 1977, 7:30 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
I shall sing today1I shall sing today. I shall sing the song of God’s Beauty within me, in my inner world. I shall sing the song of God’s Duty without me, in my outer world.
I shall sing today not the song which I knew so well, the song of frustration, but I shall sing a new song, the song of illumination.
I shall sing today only of the awakening, only of the manifesting divinity of my Beloved Supreme; I will never, never sing the song of self-unfoldment.
I shall sing today the song of perfection in the aspiring finite life.
I shall sing today the song of the Supreme, my Supreme Pilot, inside the cry of the finite.
I shall sing today, for this is the only way I can not only expedite my life’s journey but also bring my goal slowly, steadily and unerringly closer to my reality-existence.
I shall sing today the song that I just learnt from my Beloved Supreme, and this song is the song of continuous self-offering. What is self-offering? Self-offering is the discovery of one’s God-embracing reality.
EA 73. 18 July 1977, 7:35 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
The purpose of human life1The purpose of the animal life is the quest for individuality and separativity. The purpose of human life is the quest for unity, and not a sense of separativity. The purpose of divine life is the quest for perfection — perfection in the inner world, perfection in the outer world, perfection in God’s entire creation. The purpose of the Supreme’s Life is the quest for satisfaction, the satisfaction that nourishes the body-reality of His creation and the soul-reality of His ever-transcending Vision.
Animal life is always hurtful. Human life is always doubtful. Divine life is always soulful. The Supreme’s Life is always fruitful.
The animal life tells me that by fighting I will get everything. The human life tells me that by becoming clever I can get everything. The divine life tells me that by giving everything I shall become everything that I want to become and, something more, that I shall please God in His own Way. The Supreme’s Life tells me that by oneness-spreading I shall not only become everything, but I shall be able to offer my all-becoming gift as a boon to the aspiring mankind.
EA 74. 18 July 1977, 7:40 p.m. — in transit to Connecticut Sri Chinmoy Centre.↩
What more can I give you?1“My Lord Supreme, what more can I give You? I have given You my desire-day. I have given You my frustration-night. My Lord Supreme, what more can I give You? I have given You my anxiety-chain. I have given You my insecurity-train. What more can I give You, my Lord Supreme?
“My Lord Supreme, I have given You what I have learnt from my earthbound mind. I have given You what I have done, together with my hungry and aggressive vital. My Lord Supreme, what more can I give You? I have given You my hope-sky. I have given You my promise-sun. My Lord Supreme, what more can I give You, what more?”
“My child, I do not deny that you have given Me all these things that you have mentioned. But you have not given Me the thing that I need constantly from you so that I can be totally pleased and fulfilled, and that thing is your soul’s satisfaction-breath. This is the only thing that I need from you. The rest of the things that you have given Me have brought Me joy, and I will do the needful with them. I shall transform them and make them into divine instruments of Mine. But the thing that I need constantly from you, the thing that I need most, you have not given Me so far. Therefore, I am reminding you to give Me your heart’s oneness-cry, your soul’s satisfaction-breath.”
“O my sweet Father, O my dear Friend, O my only Boatman who is carrying me along Eternity’s river towards Infinity’s shore! They say that I am old, for I am over forty. They say that I am cold, that I have become a finished product, that I have long ago lost my childlike life, my nature’s cry and smile. Is it all true?”
“No, no, no, My child. This is far, far from the truth. You are not old; you are bold. You are not cold; you are warm. You are not old, for in you and through you I have created a new world of self-revelation and self-manifestation to see and enjoy Me in the divine, Supreme way. This way is through art. You are not old. After you crossed the barrier of forty I made you a divinely, supremely chosen instrument of Mine and entered into you to reveal and manifest Myself in the world of painting and the world of music. Two giant worlds I have created in and through you for My own Satisfaction.
“You are not cold, you are warm. Because of your warmth, because of your oneness-warmth, humanity’s ascending cry and divinity’s descending smile have accepted you as My instrument, My most pleasing and fulfilling instrument.
“No matter how old you are according to the earthly calendar, you are not old; you can never be old, and all those who have become inseparably one with you also can never be old. Your oneness-friends, like you, will never be old in My Vision-Light, for you are all in My Golden Boat. My own Aspiration-Cry in and through you all is being manifested at My own choice Hour. My Aspiration-Cry is glowing and growing and offering haven to countless seekers of Truth and lovers of Light and Delight.
“You are not old, and all those over forty who are with you, in you and for you are like your four-year-old children, for they have the same warmth, the same eagerness to be in My Boat. Their eagerness and warmth they have offered to Me to be in My Boat. Therefore, they can never, never be old. They have given Me a free access to dream in and through them, and I am dreaming in and through them. When I dream in and through anybody, that person can never be old, for My Dream is manifesting as an illumining, fulfilling reality that is eternally new, eternally illumining, eternally fulfilling.
“A life of dream, divine dream, is always a life of blossoming, becoming and transcending. All of you in the Golden Boat who are over forty, I am dreaming in and through you. Each one has a special dream. This Dream of Mine in each seeker-lover is My Life-Breath of new creation, new perfection, new satisfaction.”
EA 75. 18 July 1977, 8:00 p.m. — Sri Chinmoy Centre, Norwalk, Connecticut.↩
Editor's introduction to the first editionDuring the first twenty days of July 1977, Sri Chinmoy delivered one hundred short talks. These talks were given at his public esraj performances, at picnics, even at a local high school playground after morning sports practice. In very few ways, though, can these pieces really be called talks. They contain a rhythmic, almost musical quality more like blank verse than prose. More important, they express a flow of ideas so subtle and melodic that they cry out to be felt and assimilated on an intuitive plane. Before speaking, Sri Chinmoy would enter into a high meditative state and then speak extemporaneously. These talks, then, are expressions of a state of consciousness far beyond the mind’s reach: short, illumining bursts of light from the Master’s boundless Realisation-Sun. This particular volume is the first of a four-part series.