God’s Glance and God’s Grace
God's Glance and God's GraceGod's Glance is the arrow
Of brightest flame.
It is the birth of love
In human frame.
And ever largest in Him
Is His Sea of Grace
For souls to be the waves
Upon His Face.
My life and my soulMy life, a tragic record of pride,
My life, a doll for ego's smile,
My breath is lost in the howling Night.
My hope is orphan, my cry futile.
Lo, my soul, a mounting flame of Will.
It brushes quick the tears from my eyes.
My soul's victory over my life
Is the only triumph that never dies.
My fearI tremble in every limb, with fear I dine.
My soul becomes a rending surge of pain
The moment human eyes are locked with mine.
Pangs shoot through me, but all in vain.
Too fast my giant hopes are thinning out.
My heart, a stranger to God's ivory Look.
To free myself from my dingy past I cry out.
That'll be the twelfth of Never; the hell I brook.
Never I accept myselfNever I accept myself,
My limitations I resent.
I want to be the 'That'.
I want to be God's true descent.
I pine for another chance.
I know self-pity gets man nowhere.
I take full charge of my life.
I hurl my hope ahead all-where.
Ever I picture myself
As an eternal winning soul.
I know not how to drift.
Within my ken my lofty Goal.
God's GraceThe One-in-All and All-in-One —-
This truth imparts the Spark of Life.
And what is His swift-bending Grace?
The Vision of Unity face-to-face.
SecretsI love the secrets of Wisdom-Sun;
They lead my blossoming soul to the One.
I love the secrets of ignorance-night;
Through them the Face of Dream I sight.
MoneyMoney is no bondage stark.
Neither is man's name or fame.
The son of God is far
Beyond the ken of blame.
Money, name and fame
Become his faithful slaves
The moment the rain of blows
From his wild senses he braves.
LifeWhat truly is life?
A golden chance
With Truth to dance,
Killing fear and strife.
To God alone.
Man is no stone.
He offers, he longs.
Man and his loveHe who has shown his love has been fed.
He who has amassed his love has failed
In his role to be the Smile of God.
He who has fulfilled love has been hailed.
My lifeI try a smile —-
It comes off never.
My life is my soul's
God's wealth versus man's wealthOne God or two —-
It matters not.
Does He exist?
This has to be sought.
If He has life,
Where does He live?
When will He learn
What has poor God?
Man has desire,
Man has failure,
Man has death dire.
God has silver Grace,
He is His Heart,
ImmortalityYou can prevent anything
In the land of Reality,
But never, never the birth
What is unreal?
And what is Reality?
The embrace of God's Thought-Waves
With His Eternity.
My soul's victoryBefore my fantasies were all vague.
Slowly they have now taken shape.
My golden tomorrows are dawning fast.
No more I'll be a human ape.
I snatched my Goal out of death's embrace.
Ecstasy unbarred shoots through my life.
My glance has pinned falsehood to ground.
God's own Breath now beats against my face.
God and manGod's Grace is man's divinity.
Man's failure is His humanity.
God tells, always a perfect balance
Is the key to His Omnipresence.
Man tells, his life is the soul of God —-
All day and night he can sleep and fraud.
The dateWhen I behold the face of temptation wild,
My tongue dries up, clings to the roof of my mouth,
Falsehood's colourful eyes hold me hypnotized;
Abandoned, no west, no east, no north, no south.
The One has beaten into my soul a deep
Feeling of shame for my acceptance of fate.
One day I'll enjoy God's Grace to the hilt,
But impatience tortures me to know the date.
Who is the chooserIt is not we who choose
The Lord Supreme, our Goal.
He Himself within us dawns
To pierce our age-long dole.
How to change humanityTo change humanity
First your own erring shape of soul recast.
Anon your eyes shall find
Nothing around remains unchanged at last.
All triumphs yours only thenBe you a flood of sincerity.
No triumph will be denied to you.
Your heart shall own Eternity,
Your life shall wear God's golden Hue.
Our death and immortalityStark death was born with us, following our feet
When we beheld the light of day.
But our actions' blue-gold fruit the earth will eat
Even when death our bodies does slay.
My birth is sleep, my life is nightUnknown my life shall die, unknown.
I breathe unseen my ceaseless moan.
My birth is sleep, my life is night.
I drink an empty hope's delight.
Silence-sea and dancing waves of Grace
Long lost have I in my backward race.
And now my escaping breath I see
Captured by strangling Eternity.
I am my haven's kingI cry
Because I know not when to try.
Because I see temptation's spear.
Because I am lost within, without.
Because I've closed my beauty's gate.
Because I breathe below, above.
Because my Goal no more a chance.
Because I am my haven's King.
I prayedI prayed without feeling.
My Father slept.
I prayed without crying.
My Father left.
I prayed without loving.
My Father died.
I prayed without ceasing.
My Father cried.
I declareI declare ever what is true —-
My heart is God's revealing Light.
My soul is God's fulfilling Might.
My life is God's transforming Hue.
I declare ever what is pure —-
This world of ours has much to say.
Our climbing earth God's promised Day.
Our glowing Goal—eternal, sure.
To my MahapurushI cry beneath my fount of orphan tears.
Your Spirit's Eye shall salve my sighing years.
In me shall breathe your Love, your Sacrifice-Soul,
O my Mahapurush, to the end of my journey's Goal.
Editor's note"Mahapurush" means a "Great Soul."
Jyotish Chandra Chaudhury of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry, India, breathed his last on 10 March 1966, at 9:20 a.m.
Is the cry
That compels God
To seize the aspirant
With the very madness of Love.
A piece of candy,
Lo, the child is won.
An iota of devotion,
God, the true and real God,
Sweeter than honey,
Purer than flowers,
Deeper than love:
The flame-waves of devotion-light.
Attachment and detachmentAttachment is my teacher:
"God lives in a cave."
Detachment is my teacher:
"God lives in a Palace."
Attachment demands my body's breath,
The life of the howling finite.
Detachment offers my soul's promise,
The Light of the beckoning Beyond.
As and soAs the prayer, so the Grace,
As the weeping heart, so the bending Face.
As the sacrifice,
So the price.
As the birth of knowledge-rain,
So the death of ignorance-chain.
The human soul and the soul divineThe human soul is the kiss of night;
The soul divine is the bliss of day.
Like eye and sight, like nose and smell,
Inseparable and one are they.
The one feels God a tearing sigh,
And life empty of truth, futile.
To the other, God is undying Hope,
And life is Truth's all-loving Smile.
The human teacher shows you how to read.
The teacher divine sleeplessly reads for you.
The one leads your mind to wisdom's portal,
The other opens your soul to the sky-vast blue.
The Guru is he who shows the Way;
His heart is Love, his mind is Light,
His body is Grace in the realm of night.
Silence and Power sustain his Play.
Earth-bound heartsVain are the ways
Of human cries.
Strange are the moulds
Of earthly hopes.
Queer is the dream
Of climbing skies.
In earth-bound hearts
Destruction's rodO north, O south!
O east, O west!
I have no cry,
I have no nest.
O ceaseless fall,
An unfed hope,
A fearful sigh,
A tightened rope.
A living hush,
My imagined God,
Because it mustI sit beneath
The fountain of tears.
My heart is heavy
With growing fears.
My life is dyed
With sighing years.
I take my food—
Venom or dust.
My life will live
Because it must.
Man and GodMan's dream is God;
God's Fulfilment, man.
Man's solace is God;
God's Hope is man.
Man is God crying;
God is man struggling.
Man's strength is his ignorance;
God's Strength is His Grace.
Life and deathWhat men call life
I call ambition's fight
Against the strife
Of blind ignorance-night.
What men call death
I call the soul's repose
In God's secret Breath
At the long journey's close.
Delight you needDelight you need?
Sacrifice you feed.
Precious is love
And precious more
Breathe in the One —-
Won Golden Sun.
How to conquerLo, how to conquer evil thoughts?
One thing just try —-
Imagine you are the ocean vast,
You are the boundless sky.
Your evil thoughts are fish and birds,
Their lords are ocean and sky.
The slaves are only slaves;
Their revolt a fruitless cry.
Ignorance vast we hugOur life abides within;
Our outer sheath is a cloak
Ignorant of Truth sublime.
Outside the more we block,
The deeper within we go.
We all are nature's slaves,
Ignorance vast we hug.
Even death our Spirit braves
in vain for us.
We cry to live in chains
With blind personality.
Before us the sombre main.
Thou and IThy Rapture shines unchanging
Through my heart never still.
I see with my drowsy eyes,
Thou with Thy mighty Will.
I pine for fame unknown,
Thou for my freedom vast.
now cease, now cease.
Nought save the One shall last.
My foeMy foe is none but I.
All future I reap from deeds of mine.
If I receive not aid
From me, no soul will make me shine.
The evil forces lie
Within, around my symbol sheath.
They seize my knowledge-sun,
And tear my mind with dragon teeth.
No eyes have weThou art the All and beyond the All,
This truth we fail to believe.
Our ego never sees Thy Will;
To ignorance vast we cleave.
Revolts of ours defy Thy Smile
That leads all souls without
Within to Thy Sea of rapture-fire
Where drowns our clay's blind shout.
All-presence am IAlthough I dwell in poverty,
Matchless all joy of mine remains.
Upon my heart His Bounty rains
From His flame-white Eternity.
To none I sell my teeming thoughts;
By me my trance is seen alone.
My heart shall never tremble or moan,
All-presence am I, in me no noughts.
The flame of aspirationThe wings of my longings are undone,
All my desires are hushed.
The flame of aspiration shines—
Smiles now my heart abashed
To feel the Formless in Form divine,
To see nought save the One
That, neither male nor female, yet
Broods ever, our Parent-sun.
DreamThe sky with sun and moon and stars
Leans down today to clasp my soul.
Their boundless love and peace sublime
Lead me to Freedom, snow-capped goal.
I hear the hymn that bars decay
And makes my bosom ever green
With faith and ardent inmost call,
I have become the Freedom-Sheen.
My bird of dawn is on the wing,
Its wonder-goal within its ken.
The sombre death now weeps in awe
Alone in his secret, eyeless den.
I and my nameI sing and sing,
And play and play
To see the Face
Of Eternal Day.
My friend is Hope,
My friend is Light.
If night there be,
My days are bright.
God's Grace is my name.
Through ages long
My soulful breath
Shall flame His Song.
HopeTime and distance
Are caught by hope.
Hope is the glance
That burns the rope
Of howling night.
Hope lost, gloom grows,
My dying soulTwo running ears,
One howling tongue,
Two trembling knees,
One bleeding heart,
Two weeping eyes,
One struggling breath,
Two surrendering arms,
One dying soul.
When I am gone awayWhen I am gone away,
Remember me, O children sweet,
No, not because I failed,
No, not because I cried,
No, not because I tried,
No, not because I saw my Lord in you,
No, not because I served my Lord in you,
No, not because I fulfilled my Lord in you,
No, not because I was your Pilot true,
No, not because I was your 'Infinite' blue,
O, but because my life was all gratitude,
To you, to you, my children sweet, to you.
Editor's notes to the first editionThe nineteen poems GDGL 1 to GDGL 19 first appeared in a pamphlet entitled God's Absence and God's Presence, Agni Press, 1971.
The twenty-seven poems GDGL 20 to GDGL 47 first appeared in a pamphlet entitled My Flute, Agni Press, 1972.