My Lord, how can You be so heartlessly cruel to me?

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1.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why have You
So maliciously departed
From the orbit of my sight?

2.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You so afraid
Of accepting me
As Your own, very own?

3.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see
That thickest clouds
Have completely covered
My heart-sky?
Why is Your Compassion sleeping,
Why?

4.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Frustration-thunders
Are roaring.
My poor mind is totally unsuccessful
In finding its own grave.
Can You not come to rescue
My hopelessly helpless mind?

5.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I have been begging You
For such a long time
To come to me
So that I can enthrone You
In my brow-waves.

6.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You not giving me
The capacity to feel
That You are
The Be-All and End-All
Of my earth-Heaven-heart-homes?

7.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Your total indifference
To my desire-life
Has devastatingly pierced me through.

8.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You not opening Your Eye
Even for a fleeting moment
To see the fire of longing
Sleeplessly burning
Inside my heart?

9.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How long do You want me to weep
Copious tears
For Your deliberately delayed
Arrival?

10.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Save me!
Save me in any way
You want to!

11.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see that at long last
My mind has stopped doubting
Your Existence?
Can it not expect from You
A sky-burst Smile?
My Lord,
Your Silence is torturing me
Far beyond Your Imagination.

12.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I have none to call my own.
Alas, I never thought
That my sad experience
Would be forced to include You!

13.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You unnecessarily delaying
In releasing me even from one
World-temptation-snare?

14.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Your partiality is killing me entirely.
You have saved and lifted up
Many creatures
That were undoubtedly lower than me.
Alas, in my case,
You have given Yourself
A terribly shocking new name:
Indifference.

15.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Alas, how can You be one of those
Who are telling me
That all my divine qualities
Have left me for good?

16.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I am crying
Because You have deliberately kept
Your listening Ears
Out of order.

17.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

If You really care for me,
Will You not take the trouble
Of humbling and humiliating
My impossible pride
For my life's
Perfect perfection?

18.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

For You I have swept my path
Readily, willingly and eagerly.
How can it be possible
For Your Compassion-flooded Eye
Not to see
What I have done for You?

19.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will You give me the capacity
To claim You as my own, very own
Here, there and everywhere?

20.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How is it
That it is not possible for You
To think of me at this very moment
When I am dying for You?

21.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why are You not allowing me
To be a sleepless slave
Of Your Feet?

22.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When are You going to come
To extinguish the fire
Of my separation
From Your Heart?

23.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not feel even once
The excruciating pangs
Of Your absence
That are eating
My heart?

24.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Streams of tears are falling
From my devotion-eyes
To please You in Your own Way.
But Your unwillingness to accept them
Is unearthing the roots
Of my life-tree.

25.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see
The snake of our separation
Has bitten me powerfully
And shockingly,
And my life-breath is sinking
Without having a sweet glimpse
Of Your Compassion-Eye
And Your Satisfaction-Heart?

26.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will You give me
A sleepless and unquenchable thirst
For You?

27.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

You fool me by saying
That I am all Yours
And You are all mine.
I think and I feel
That this is the worst possible lie
That I have ever heard
From anybody!

28.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You allow me
To dream of anything else?
Do You not know
That I want to dream
Only of You?

29.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will Your Heart tell You
That I am always dying
To see You
And to be in Your Presence?

30.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I do not want to continue
With this human life.
Give me back my animal life.
I want to be Your faithful dog
To follow You
Everywhere You go.

31.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How many times have I told You
That my life is no life without You?
Yet I clearly see
That You do not care for me at all,
Either in my inner life
Or in my outer life.
Why, why?

32.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How many more times
Do I have to tell You
To capture my heart
So that my heart
Becomes all sweetness
And all fondness for You?

33.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

If You really love me,
Will You not transform
Everything in my life
To fulfil You?

34.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not come
And eat with me at my table
When I beg You again and again?
Am I an untouchable creature?
I thought You were my Creator.
It seems that I have to change
My opinion.

35.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How I wish You to miss me breathlessly
Only once
The way I miss You.
Then You will realise
What my heart and I go through
In Your absence.

36.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I ask You to increase my aspiration
And decrease my desire.
I cannot understand why
My desire has to increase
And
My aspiration has to decrease!
How can You not feel the sincerity
Of my intensity-prayer?

37.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I pray to You for Your Closeness.
You give me success after success
So that my success-life can prevent me
From being close to You.
I assure You that one day
You will have to surrender
To my eagerness
To be in Your extreme Closeness.

38.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Are You really afraid
Of my growing attachment
To You?
Do tell me frankly.

39.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Please be kind to me once and for all
And tell me when I can be
A glowing detachment
From my desire-bound earth-life.

40.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I try to give You my fear.
You do not accept it.
I try to give You my love.
You do not accept it.
Then tell me what I can give You
To make You happy in Your own Way.

41.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

For centuries I have looked for You.
Now may I not be allowed
At least for a few years
To look after You?

42.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How can I believe
That I was made only of Your Joy
When I do not see You happy
At any time?

43.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Have You forgotten
That You made a solemn Promise
That when I fail,
You would immediately sail
To my rescue?

44.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When will I be able to breathe in
Your Compassion-Smile?
And when will I be able to breathe out
My surrender-joy?

45.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why have You given me
Such feeble devotion
That can never reach
Your Feet?

46.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

You have never asked me
To sing for You
A rainbow-song
Of my self-giving.

47.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not allow my soul-flames
To illumine my entire being
Even one single time?

48.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How can it be possible
That right in front of You
My aspiration-heart has not become
An ever-rising life-tree-climber?

49.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not give me
A special kind of morning meditation
To multiply my heart's
Aspiration-flames rapidly?

50.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see
My heart's streaming tears
Running again and again
To my life's progress-start?
Can You not be of any help to me?

51.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

When are You going
To pass by this way?

52.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not think
That Your Promises are all hollow?
You have promised to me
So many times
That You will steal into my heart
And rob me of everything
That I have and I am.

53.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

How long are You going to remain
Unmoved and unperturbed
By my orphan-tears?

54.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Will there be a day in my life,
Early in the morning
During my prayers and meditations,
When we shall consume each other
With our mutual love and affection?

55.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Was Your Promise not sincere
When You told me
That You would come back
And take me with You
To visit Your transcendental Heights?

56.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Is it such a difficult task
For You to break my ego
Before it breaks me?

57.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Can You not see
That my outer life
Is totally shattered
And my inner life
Is completely devoid of hope?

58.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Please tell me
Why You have stopped answering
My heart-letters,
Why?

59.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

My Lord, do You not know
That when You do not smile at me,
I immediately lose
The compass and the anchor
Of my life-boat?

60.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I want to realise You
As soon as possible,
But if You continuously
Break my heart,
Then I assure You
Your Heart will be next!

61.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I strongly feel
That Your very Touch
Can easily transform
My mind-woods
Into
My heart-blossoms.

62.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not tell me
The secret way to Your Heart,
Why?

63.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do I have to tell You
Again and again
That You heal my heart
With Your fleeting Smile?

64.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not realise
That in Your absence
I drown in my heart's
Loneliness-tears?

65.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Do You not realise
That each act
Of Your loving Concern
Deepens my heart's love
For You?

66.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

My heart is simply devastated.
For me, my oneness with You
Means here and now,
At this very moment,
And not in the remote future.

67.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Unspeakable selfishness
Is killing my entire being,
Yet You are completely silent.

68.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

My Lord, is it not high time
For You to destroy
My unwillingness-tyrant-mind?

69.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

I have only one prayer,
And that prayer
Is for You to make me worthy
Of Your scoldings.
But even that one prayer
You never sanction!

70.

My Lord,
How can you be
so heartlessly cruel to me?

Why do You not give me any chance
To smile at You,
To make my heart
Infinitely sweeter
And my life
Infinitely richer?