The unreal heights of real absurdities

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Question: Does God ever wear a tie?

Sri Chinmoy: God wears ties at every moment, from His birthless Silence to His deathless Sound. From the beginning of His creation and throughout the ever-continuing creation, He has always worn ties. When a human being wears a tie, it is for a few hours. Then he changes his tie or he takes it off. But in God’s case, He has been wearing His ties since the creation of humanity. Birthless and deathless ties of oneness He has been wearing all throughout His creation, and He will continue to wear these ties of oneness eternally.

Question: Does God have false teeth?

Sri Chinmoy: Yes, God has both false teeth and real teeth. When He devours ignorance, He uses His false teeth. Why? Because ignorance itself is false. But when He eats Light, He uses His real teeth, for Light is eternally real.

Question: What does God do in His spare time?

Sri Chinmoy: Poor God has no spare time. He keeps Himself always busy. He feels that change of activity is the best kind of relaxation.

Question: Why does God tease me?

Sri Chinmoy: God teases you for two reasons. The first reason is that God wants you to feel that He is your eternal Friend, your only Friend. Just because He is your eternal Friend, He does something which only a real friend would dare to do. Only a real friend can tease you.

God also teases you for another, very specific reason. Sometimes when God sees that you are consciously or unconsciously in an unpleasant, superior, haughty consciousness, He tries to bring you down to the normal human consciousness, so that you will act like a normal, natural, loving human being. He brings you down to the level of your brothers and sisters so that even unconsciously you do not have a superior or self-imposed feeling of isolation.

Question: What kind of clock does God use?

Sri Chinmoy: God has three special clocks. On earth He uses His Compassion-Clock, in Heaven He uses His Illumination-Clock and for Himself He uses His Perfection-Clock.

Question: How does God wake up in the morning?

Sri Chinmoy: First of all, unlike mortals, God does not believe in sleeping every night. But, on rare nights, God does take rest or go to sleep. Then, early in the morning when He gets up, He gets up with a universal headache or a universal stomach upset, or with a universal Hope or a universal Inspiration.

Question: What colour are God's Eyes?

Sri Chinmoy: God’s Eyes have no colour of their own. It is the individual who sees the colour in God’s Eyes according to his or her own aspiration-height. If the seeker is very aspiring, then that seeker will see God’s Eyes as blue. If the seeker is very pure, then he will see God’s Eyes as white. If the seeker is extremely energetic and dynamic, then that individual will see God’s Eyes as green. If the individual has tremendous willpower and fiery determination to reach the Goal, then that particular seeker will see God’s Eyes as either red or brown. Or if God Himself is fighting against the teeming ignorance of the seeker so that the seeker can realise Him infinitely sooner than otherwise, then the seeker will see God’s Eyes as red or brown. Red and brown have a powerful, dynamic quality.

Question: Does God like cities?

Sri Chinmoy: Yes, God likes cities because the cities add to His dynamic movement, dynamic life. He also likes villages, because the villages add to His static relaxation. Both relaxation and dynamic movement are of great importance. Together they make God complete. So when God wants to enjoy dynamic movement, He lives in the cities; when He wants to enjoy static relaxation, He lives in the villages.

Question: Why does God sometimes seem so serious?

Sri Chinmoy: Seriousness is also an aspect of God. If God always remains childish or frivolous, or if God does something in a relaxed, funny manner, then His children may do that very thing in a destructive way. That is to say, if God cuts a joke which is not at all a hurtful joke, then just because God has cut a joke, His children may cut jokes which will be most hurtful and painful. So God has to show His other aspect. After all, His universal Breadth, transcendental Height and eternal Depth are all serious matters.

Question: What does God do when He starts to gain extra weight?

Sri Chinmoy: God does not gain extra weight because He feels that if He does so, then He will add to the ignorance-force around Him. Just because He is all-wise, He does not want the force of ignorance to be more powerful and more uncontrollable.

Question: Why does God like ice cream so much, both for Himself and for His children?

Sri Chinmoy: If God really likes ice cream for Himself and His children, there must be some reason. The reason is that God wants His children to be eternally sweet. And He Himself eats ice cream because He Himself wants to be sweet to His children. Both Father and children alike must sweeten their existence. It is in sweetness that eternal harmony can eternally last.

Question: Which does God like better: a tropical or a cold climate?

Sri Chinmoy: It is not the climate as such that God likes, but how people who live in a particular climate invite Him and welcome Him. If people who live in a cold climate invite God or feel the necessity of God more than those who live in a tropical climate, then God will definitely prefer to stay in the cold climate.

Those who live in a particular climate are like the inhabitants of a house. The house may not be beautiful, but if the inhabitants invite you and welcome you, then you will definitely go there. You do not go for the sake of the house, but for the sake of its inhabitants. A climate is like a house. If the person who dwells inside the house shows interest in you and cares for you, then you will definitely go there instead of going to another house where you are unwanted, even if the other house is more beautiful.

Question: Does God get tired from signing His initials on all His creations?

Sri Chinmoy: God is an endless Creator. But unlike human creators, God does not feel the necessity of attaching Himself to His creation. He feels that once He has created, His creation is earth’s possession and is for earth’s illumination. It is redundant and unnecessary for Him to sign His initials or His name to His creation, for, after all, He knows what He has done. As a matter of fact, nothing is created on earth without His approval or His direct or indirect help. Such being the case, He feels that He is responsible for anything that has been created on earth. Therefore, He feels it is unnecessary to sign His name, for who else can create but He Himself?

Question: Why does God love me?

Sri Chinmoy: God knows how to love Himself; therefore, He loves you and He loves everyone. Just because He loves Himself all the time, He can love you and He can love His entire creation.

Question (Sanatan's question): How many Sanatans did God create?

Sri Chinmoy: Originally God created countless, infinite Sanatans, but one Sanatan said to God, “Father, I don’t want to be with all my brothers and sisters. I want to be left all alone. I wish to enjoy my individuality and personality; so please let me be alone.” God said to this particular son, “Wonderful, My son, you go and enjoy your individuality and personality. But I tell you, there will come a time when you will become tired of your personality and individuality. At that time, you will beg Me to allow you to go back to your brothers and sisters to enjoy their concern instead of your individuality and personality. And I will let you do so.”

Question: God is a tree; how many leaves does He have?

Sri Chinmoy: True, God is a tree, but He does not waste His time in counting the leaves. He feels that the time He will spend in counting the leaves He should use to create more leaves. God does not believe in calculation and multiplication. He only believes in constant, conscious and spontaneous creation.

Question: Does God wear sneakers?

Sri Chinmoy: Yes, God does. He wears sneakers because He feels that He has to protect Himself from some of the emotional heat of earth. This heat is composed of anxiety, worry, fear, doubt, suspicion, jealousy, insecurity, and all other undivine qualities.

Question: Do you or your inner beings play jokes with us on the inner plane?

Sri Chinmoy: On the inner plane I don’t get much time to cut jokes with my disciples, for on the inner plane, my Boss, the Supreme, is much more strict with me than on the outer plane. But I do enjoy cutting jokes with my own inner beings, and even with my Beloved Supreme — innocent jokes, of course, not painful or destructive jokes.

If I see a particular god or goddess who is closely connected with a particular seeker, and if I see the inner beauty of that seeker is much less than the beauty of the god or goddess, then perhaps I will cut jokes with that particular god or goddess by saying, “You don’t take care of your devotees. How is it that you don’t make them as beautiful as you are?”

Then the god or goddess will immediately say to me, “Whose fault is it? You have a connection with both earth and Heaven. It is your duty to make everything clear to the seeker what will help him, what will increase his spirituality.”

I say, in my own justification, “I pray with them and meditate on them, and if they are receptive, then definitely they will get light from me, and they will always do the right thing to constantly increase their inner beauty.”

Question: Does God ever laugh at Himself?

Sri Chinmoy: God laughs at Himself when He sees that His perfect manifestation on earth is still a far cry. God smiles at Himself when He sees that His perfect manifestation on earth is always in the process of continuous growth.

Question: Did God ever have an overeating problem?

Sri Chinmoy: We eat and overeat. But in God’s case, there is no such thing as overfed or underfed or unfed. Whatever God does, He does according to His necessity, and His necessity is always supported by His capacity. His necessity and His capacity always go together. What He eats most is our ignorance-sea. Anything that He wants, no matter how large the quantity is, He eats; for He knows that He has boundless capacity. So, in His case, it is not a problem; it is a necessity. If He does not devour our ignorance, then our ignorance will devour us. But God does not suffer from overeating, for He is all capacity and all willingness.

Question: How did God realise God?

Sri Chinmoy: God realised Himself by playing His fondest game, which He calls hide-and-seek.

Editor's introduction

On 14 July 1975, while returning by bus from a trip to Ellicottville, New York, Sri Chinmoy invited his disciples to ask him “cute, silly, funny, very short, very simple questions on God.” These are some of the questions and Sri Chinmoy answers.