Question: I sometimes wonder if you ever get tired and discouraged. You have the most difficult job that has ever existed.

Sri Chinmoy: Most of the time I remain in the soul and in the heart, and then I am not discouraged. But when I am in the physical consciousness of earth, sometimes, as a human being, I am discouraged. If I ask you a hundred times not to do something and then you do it, I do become discouraged. But I have infinite patience; otherwise, I could not have accepted so many spiritual children. When I am displeased with someone, people may think that I am scolding that person mercilessly. But at that time it is not the human in me that is speaking. It is the divine authority in me that I have to exercise.

Our path is the path of love, devotion and surrender. Love is the most powerful force. But sometimes when love does not work, we must use divine force, which is another form of love. This force is called concern. But our concern is sometimes misunderstood. If I have expressed my concern, then you have to know that I am using a kind of force. If I did not use this power of concern, then I would be totally frustrated. I tell my dear disciples that when I scold them, they should feel that they are the luckiest people on earth. When a spiritual Master becomes indifferent to a disciple, that is the disciple’s death blow. If you go on and on doing something wrong, I will scold you up to a point. But once I withdraw my concern, once I show indifference to you, that is your spiritual death-blow. If I am really discouraged and disheartened by a particular disciple, then naturally I will withdraw from that disciple.

The divine in me has infinite patience, compassion and concern. I try again and again with the disciples who consciously and deliberately violate my rules. But if I keep them in the Centre indefinitely, they will just poison the good disciples. What right do I have to keep the sick people and contaminate the healthy ones? They are sick because they do not want to become healthy. They are tired, they are exhausted, they are weak. If you are strong, you can climb the Himalayas. But if you are not strong, then you have to sit at the foot of the Himalayas. The spiritual life is for the strong and the willing.

Again, when disciples lose their aspiration and leave us, usually they do not go to other Masters. They just give up the spiritual life altogether. If they think that I am a bad Master and they go to some other Master, then I am very happy. That Master will then take them to the goal. But they usually do not do this. When they leave us, they just criticise us and try to take a few more disciples with them by speaking ill of us. At that time the human in me does get discouraged, because I see that the infinite love and concern that I gave them while they were with us was all wasted. Naturally the human in me feels sad. But the divine in me will say, “If they are such fools, if they are being tempted, then they are not for us, they are not worth keeping.” My disciples know what is right and what is wrong. If I identify with the human in me, I may feel sad. But, inside the human is the divine. In the case of a spiritual Master the human may come to the fore for a short time, but then the divine will come and solve the problem. It was when the human in the Christ came forward for a fleeting second that he said, “Father, why hast Thou forsaken me?” But then the divine immediately came forward and he said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Three years ago in one of my Centres, some of the disciples who had been with us for four years were still going to different groups and seeing other Masters. Then, when they came to see me, they created unnecessary problems with their doubt and confusion. For a long time the human in me just forgave them and did not pay any attention to their misbehaviour. But after a while I got exasperated. Then I had to show some divine authority. I just said, “I am sick of you people! Please leave me. You people are just exploiting my compassion. I want to make my boat quite empty, so that it will go very fast.” I have told my disciples so many times that they cannot make progress if they go on changing from one path to another. There can be only one path, one boat at a time. So when I saw that the disciples were creating problems for themselves and others by going to various paths and various teachers, then naturally I had every reason to be discouraged.