Question: Guru, it seems to me that I hardly do anything. I don't meditate as much as I should, I don't do anything right, and still you are so nice to me.Sri Chinmoy: You are not deliberately hostile to me, to my mission, to my manifestation. But there are some disciples who are deliberately hostile. It is my bounden duty to help those who are not deliberately hostile to me as long as they remain in my boat. Again, there are some who are deliberately hostile, but just because they are still with me, I feel an inner obligation to help even them. It is just like having a pet that you have to feed and take care of. That animal may kick you or bite you, but what can you do? As long as you keep the animal, you have to take care of it. If the animal is very mild, very obedient, only it does not do any work or help you in any way, the owner does not mind as long as the animal does not act like a destructive force.
In your case that problem does not arise at all. You are not destructive or disobedient. In your case it is only the friendship with ignorance that is delaying you. When that friendship goes away, then you will enter into the soul.
There are three types of disciples. One type prays to the Supreme to please me or to please the Supreme in me at every moment in the Supreme’s own way. Another type prays or meditates to please the Supreme in me fifty per cent of the time, and fifty per cent they expect me to please them in their own way. They pray to the Supreme so that they can fulfil the Supreme in the Supreme’s way fifty per cent of the time, and the other fifty per cent the Supreme has to please them in their own way. The third category is praying to the Supreme only to please them one hundred per cent of the time in their own way.
Now you select the category which you want to belong to. Can you say, “I try in my own way to be in the first category, to become a first class disciple of the Supreme, to please Him all the time in His own way. That is my prayer.” If you cannot say it, then learn to say it. Everybody try to please the Supreme in His own way. Then you become a first class disciple.