I am in preparation

I am in preparation. I am in preparation for a new dawn, a new morning and a new day. I shall consciously and forcefully bury my past experiences — experiences of failure, experiences of frustration, experiences of unworthiness. I shall bury them. I shall obliterate from my memory-tablet all the uncomely experiences, the unillumining experiences, that I have had so far in my life. I am in preparation for an ever-new life.

I know why I have failed, why I have disappointed my Beloved Supreme. I have failed because I have neglected my second-life, I have wasted my minute-life, I have ignored my hour-life. From now on, in each second-life of mine I shall see a reality-existence of ten years. In each minute-life of mine I shall see a reality-existence of forty years, and in each hour-life I shall see a reality-existence of a hundred years, countless years. Each time I do not properly use my second-life, minute-life and hour-life, I shall make myself feel that I am far, farther, farthest from my destined Goal. And each time I properly utilise my second-life, minute-life and hour-life, I shall undoubtedly make myself feel that my hour of God-realisation is fast approaching. I shall not have to force myself to feel this; it will be something spontaneous and automatic. I shall no longer ply my boat between hope-evening and frustration-night. I shall ply my boat only between promise-light and satisfaction-delight.

Because of my bondage-life, because of my desire-life, because of my finite life, I have failed my Beloved Supreme, I have failed my reality-existence. And I shall continue to fail my Beloved Supreme and my reality-existence if I go on loving the finite in myself. But if I start loving only the Infinite in myself, then I shall not be compelled to see the face of frustration, the face of failure. I shall only fly in the sky with my Eternity’s beloved friend, my soul-bird. I shall remain inside the Golden Boat of my Eternity’s Pilot Supreme, sailing, sailing towards an unhorizoned Divinity-Land and Immortality-Shore.

My new life will be a life of life-transcending and God-inviting Smile. My old life gave me what it had: fear of God, fear of desire, fear in desire. My new life gives me the message of love of God and the fulfilment of God in God’s own Way. I am preparing for God, to become His supremely chosen instrument, Him to love, Him to please, Him to fulfil always and always, in His own Way.

EA 45. 16 July 1977, 12:20 p.m. — John F Kennedy High School, Bronx, New York.