1193. I have sincerely prayed

I have sincerely prayed.
Heaven has not given me anything.
I have soulfully prayed.
Heaven has mercilessly deceived me.
I have silently meditated.
God has not given me anything.
I have cheerfully meditated.
God has deliberately ignored me.
Alas, I need Heaven
To smile at me powerfully.
Alas, I need God
To love me sleeplessly.