535. WHO ELSE IS UTTERLY HELPLESS?

Who else is utterly helpless,
  If not I?
An urgent matter compelled me
To phone Heaven.
  Heaven’s line was busy, as usual.
I phoned earth.
  Earth was not at home.
I phoned my soul.
  My soul told me that
  My problem was too complicated,
  And I should not bother it.
I phoned my Lord.
  My Lord said, “Son, when will
  You learn the supreme secret:
  ‘Self-help is the best help’?”
Now tell me, my seeker-friends,
Who else is utterly helpless,
  If not I?