The human has to be transformed into the Divine1[Before offering a special prasad of four fruits in honour of Bhavani, Sri Chinmoy spoke to her husband, Kaivalya, and their sons, Devashishu and Sahadeva.]
Let me see the depth of your smile! If the Master is sincere and the Master says that Bhavani is the happiest soul, then you have to believe in the sincerity of the Master. Bhavani is unimaginably happy. When she is unimaginably happy, we can take that approach. We always say that the Happiness of the Supreme is our happiness. Bhavani is now inseparably identified with the Happiness of the Supreme. Such being the case, we should take the positive side.
Physically we do not see many things. Can I see Rome from here with my eyes? No. But I do know that Rome exists. Similarly, with our spiritual heart we can feel; with our spiritual eyes we can see. The Master is the bridge between the physical and the spiritual. When we live inside the Master's heart, immediately we go to the other side of the bridge. Then we see how sincere and how right the Master is. Bhavani is in the other room. Just because we cannot enter into the other room, we cannot say that that room does not exist. If we have faith in someone who tells us that that room exists, then we become happy.
All the things that Bhavani expected from her husband and her children must be done, with infinitely more seriousness and eagerness. Now, Kaivalya, you have to prove to your better half or worse half that you really loved her. And if you two boys really loved your mother, you have to prove it through your actions. She loved you; you loved her. Now prove, through your own actions, that you really loved her. She loved you; she still loves you. From your example you also have to prove that you loved her, you are still loving her and you will always love her.
Yes, the human in us breaks, but the human in us is meant to surrender to the divine in us. If the divine in us surrenders to the human in us, then we will remain in the animal world or even in the mineral world. But just because the human in us has to surrender today or tomorrow, or ultimately, at that time we become inseparably one with our Lord Absolute Beloved Supreme. It is very painful, but this pain has to be transformed into happiness.
When I was reading Sahadeva's letter about his mother, I was shedding tears of joy and love and pride. Tears can be devastating. But when I was reading Sahadeva's letter, I was so moved, unimaginably moved. I had tears of joy, tears of love and tears of pride. Page after page it was only the songs of his heart. Sometimes a haunting song can be very painful, but there is so much sweetness inside the pain.
Earthly pain is meant for transformation. The pain that you are feeling is devastating. But then, to the same degree, you have to transform it into happiness. Anything that is painful we have to transform absolutely into nectar-delight. Then, when we transform it into nectar-delight, we become really one with God's Will. Otherwise, life is always a sad failure. But we are not going to accept life as failure. We are all divine soldiers. We are the proudest soldiers of our Lord Supreme, so nothing is a failure in our life. Everything has to be success, success and success. This success is the Supreme's Success in our life. We have to go forward.
When my brother Chitta passed away, the human in me was absolutely devastated. I could hardly walk. And what was he doing? He was only scolding me with the mantra, "Go forward, go forward!" I was walking a mile, and at each step he was scolding me: "Go forward! Can you not see how happy I am?"
That was one side of Chitta. Then, when I went forward and became one with him, he fell at my feet and prostrated himself, because he knows who I am. When I show my human side, he scolds me: "Go forward! Are you blind? Are you deaf?" I was on the street in Pondicherry, and he was scolding me. Then, while I was coming back, I was meditating, and I saw his soul right at my feet, touching and kissing the dust of my feet. He saw the difference between the human and the divine. When I was in the physical consciousness, he scolded me so powerfully because he did not want me to suffer for him even for a second.
In New York, when Ranjana's Bhajan group was singing songs about Chitta, where did I see him? His picture was above me, but at that time his head was right at my feet. He saw my divinity. Again, when he saw that I was acting like an ordinary human being crying for him, he scolded me: "Go forward, go forward!"
Just the other day when I was meditating on you, Kaivalya, how many times Bhavani was saying to you, "You are a fool, you are a fool!" Those were her exact words. You may find it difficult to believe, but you have to believe it! Towards the very end of our meditation, she was telling you to use your heart-power. You have a very good heart. I entered into your heart, and so much intensity and power I showered upon your heart! How much intensity Bhavani's soul was giving me to give to you! Her soul was telling me to put intensity into your heart. How many times she told me! But, alas, your ears were sealed. She was saying, "You are a fool! Be one with my happiness."
I am telling you this from the divine point of view, from the pure spiritual point of view. From the human point of view, you can see that there are tears in my eyes as I am talking to you. When I identify myself with you, immediately there are tears in my eyes. But again, there is another place where I can go, upstairs, and I just run there. I go up to save myself! Otherwise, in a human way, God has given me more capacity to suffer than anybody else on earth. It is absolutely true. When your sons were meditating with me two weeks ago, and I gave them the news about their mother's passing, they saw that I was absolutely swimming in the sea of tears. Again, I was consoling them. I was giving them a lecture! The divine in me was telling them the divine truth, but they saw how the human in me was suffering. But the human in me always has to surrender to the divine.
When I take the human side, I am absolutely sincere. When I take the divine side, I am absolutely sincere. But I know that the human has to be transformed into the divine. Otherwise, our life shall remain eternally a failure. Then there will be no link. Life is here; death is there. The life-vessel is smashed into pieces. But from the divine point of view, we can say that God used the vessel to cook here for some time. Now He has taken it to another room to cook there. It is the same vessel. When we have a free access, we say, "God is now cooking in the other room."
Some spiritual Masters do not show or cannot show their human side. But I feel that the human side has to be shown. You are swimming in the sea of tears. You have lost your dearest one. You can see that I jump into that sea of tears, and at the same time I tell you that I have the capacity to bring you to the shore. This is what I am doing.
The human in me absolutely suffers when somebody dies. I know what kind of loss you have suffered. I have gone through the same thing. Your father went to the pharmacy, and by the time he came back, your mother had passed away. In my case, my brother Chitta entered into our house with my dearest friend's wife. My dearest friend's wife was coming to get news from him. Chitta put down a bag of fruit, and then he fell down and died. My brother Mantu was only thirty metres behind him. What could be done? Similarly, my eldest brother talked and talked with our family for such a long time. Then he went to meditate. He sat down in front of his shrine, and there he died.
You are super-super-champions in acting. I would like you, father included, to participate in our plays here on the Christmas Trip. Life is a play. In a play it can be very painful when somebody dies. At that time, others identify themselves with you when you are acting as the loved ones. They get joy that you have played your part so well. Always we have to take life in that way.
You have become spiritual. When we become spiritual, the human in us either today or tomorrow eventually will surrender. Once again I wish to say that if the divine in us surrenders to the human in us, then God will remain an eternal failure. But God gives us a chance to prepare the human in us for forty, fifty, sixty or even one hundred years. During this time we have to be so careful to take the human in us again and again and again, at every moment, to the divine. Then only life will have some meaning. Otherwise, we shall only suffer loss.
We have to feel that the Supreme loves our dearest ones infinitely more than we do. I am telling you a story. Many years ago I went to a dentist. The dentist was impossible, but he told me a very important story. There were two brothers who had not accepted the spiritual life. They were dearer than the dearest to each other. Twenty-four hours a day they were together. When one brother passed away, the dentist asked the other one, "Are you not feeling sad? You look so happy! That means you were insincere in your behaviour towards your brother."
The surviving brother said, "No, I am extremely sincere. Although I do not care for God or for the spiritual life, I know there is Somebody who loves my brother infinitely more than I loved him. I loved him, and he loved me. But there is Someone who loves him infinitely more than I loved him. He has gone to that Person. You can say it is God or somebody else. There will always be Someone who loves my brother infinitely more than I do, and he has gone to that Person."
In your case also, you can try to say, "There is Someone who loves my mother infinitely more than I can ever love her. My capacity is incapacity. How much can I love someone? But there is Somebody who does far better than I do in offering love. Even in the human life, there are people who far surpass me in any field. In the divine world, will there not then be Someone who will do much better than I do? I love my mother, true. But there is Somebody who loves my mother infinitely more. And who is that? That is our Father."
When the daughter is with the Father Supreme, will the Father's Love not be be infinitely more divine than our human love? Just think of your human capacity and your divine capacity, which is love, devotion and surrender. When you offer your divine love, when you offer your devotion and when you offer your surrender, do you not think that you are at that time infinitely, infinitely stronger than you are on the human level? When we offer our love, devotion and surrender to the Supreme, at that time our strength is immeasurable. Again, when we do not offer our divine love, devotion and surrender, we are useless. Anybody can defeat us in any field of life.
Please try to feel that there is Someone whose capacity far exceeds our capacity. We are spiritual people. We have accepted the spiritual life. For us there is God, there is the Supreme. We have to say to ourselves, "He who loves my mother, my wife, infinitely more than I do, does He not deserve to have her? Do we deserve her the way He deserves her?" Again, the Supreme is not saying, "I will keep her only — I will never take you." No, tomorrow the time will come for Him to take you. He said that now was the time for your mother, for your wife, so He took her now. Tomorrow, when our time comes, he will take us also.
When we suffer the loss of a dear one, in the beginning the human in us kills us. We have millions of reminiscences: "My God, how sweet, how kind and compassionate she was." Then again, we reproach ourselves: "Oh, so many times I did not listen to her. I did not have a chance to please her." But when we accept the spiritual life, we have to forget about those things. Our dear one does not hold anything against us. Once she becomes the soul, she forgets how many times the children did not listen to her. She is only thinking, "I do hope that now my children will listen to me, because I poured light into them."
Again, please feel always that there is a Supreme Father who loves your wife, your mother, infinitely, infinitely more than we can love her. We are not fooling ourselves by taking this approach; we are only bringing our wisdom to the fore.
Today I would like to give everybody four items of prasad in honour of Bhavani, with my heart's infinite love and infinite gratitude to her. I know how dear she was and how dear she will eternally remain to us. We shall not speak of her in the past tense; it is the eternal tense — past, present and future. Still I am an Indian, and the traditional Indian way is to give fruits after the passing of a dear one. I want to give you all four kinds of fruits in honour of our dearest Bhavani.
FSC 22. 9 January 2001, Putri Bali Hotel, Bali, Indonesia↩