Question: Could you please speak about ego, pride and confidence?Sri Chinmoy: Human ego and divine ego. Human ego is something that binds us. Human ego is always “my” and “mine”. Again, there is divine ego, which is divine authority, divine light. But we don’t call it ego: it is our Reality, our Source. Divine ego is our omnipresence: “I am everywhere”. When we feel that we are everywhere, then who can bind us? But when we say that we are ourselves, at that time we are bound. The moment we concentrate on a particular part of our existence, immediately we become that particular thing. When our concentration is on the body, then the vital, mind, heart and soul are all our enemies. When we concentrate on the vital, at that time the heart and soul become foreigners, strangers. So human ego is very limited.
The divine part in us says, “I am omniscient, I am omnipotent, I am omnipresent, I am God’s son.” But if we don’t pray, if we don’t meditate, if we don’t actually have that realisation, then we are only fooling ourselves. The Christ said, “I and my Father are one.” It is absolutely true, in essence, that we are God’s children, but the Christ said it on the strength of his realisation. If we say the same thing without having the realisation, then people will laugh at us: “Yes, you and your Father are one; that is why you are so ignorant. If you and your Father are one, then you have to think of your Father also as ignorance incarnate.” They will give you that kind of answer.
Human pride and divine pride. With human pride, what can I do? I can strike someone, I can break something, I can insult you, I can scold you, I can lord it over you. Human pride only breaks the cosmic rhythm of life. We have human pride because we have a sense of separativity. I am separate from you, so when I do something which you cannot do, then I am proud. But if I am divine, then immediately I will say, “God used me in order to achieve this and God didn’t use you, but tomorrow He will utilise you to achieve something else. He will operate in and through you, and at that time He will ask me to remain silent. So how can I be proud when I know that I am not the doer? The actual doer is God. Today He wants me, He needs my existence to do something for Him; tomorrow He will need your existence to do something.”
We have human pride because we separate our existence from others. But divine pride is different. When we have divine pride we say, “How can I mix with ignorance if my Source is God? If my God, who is my Eternal Guru, my Inner Pilot, is omnipresent, and if I am with Him, in Him and for Him, then how can I be separated from others?” With my right hand I will throw the shotput, but I know that my right hand and left hand are one. After throwing, the right hand will not tell the left hand, “Look, I have thrown the shotput fifteen metres, whereas you cannot throw it even one metre.” No, the right hand will immediately feel its oneness with the left hand.
We have human pride when we feel that we don’t belong to others, that we are one inch higher than others. But we have to know that if we are really one, then we can’t be proud. My head never thinks that it is superior to my feet. That would be sheer stupidity. My head only says, “If I have no feet, then how am I going to stand?” I have got the mind, the head, but this head cannot walk. With my head I cannot go across the street. In terms of light, my head is higher, but necessity demands that my feet take me. Again, I can stand up, I can sit down, but if I want to read or write, I need my mind. Even then, my feet will take me to the school to learn. This is called oneness.
Everything is necessary. This moment God is using my head to do something, the next moment God is using my feet to do something. How can my head be proud of its existence when it knows perfectly well that God also uses my feet? Similarly, just because God is everywhere, this moment He is giving me the opportunity to be His instrument and the next moment He will use you as His instrument. So where is the question of pride? Pride comes only when I can do something that you cannot do, or if somebody is using me and not using you. But God uses everyone, so there can be no pride.
Human confidence and divine confidence. Divine confidence says, “I can do this because something divine, God, is within me. That is why I can do this, I can say this. But I could not do it otherwise. I can only mix with my wisdom, light and delight because my Source is God. So I have confidence.” It is like a child who knows that his parents are rich. He is confident because they have money. Here, our money is spiritual wealth. We feel that God, who is our Mother and Father, has infinite wealth, so we have confidence; we have peace of mind, light and bliss. Confidence we get when we see the Source within us, the Supreme. When we see His infinite Light, infinite Peace and infinite Bliss within us, we have confidence.
Otherwise, in the ordinary life there is no confidence at all. When we say that we have confidence, we know within ourselves that we are just showing off. We have not possessed something, we do not have something. No, only we want something or we claim something. When we are sincere, we immediately know that we are trying to fool others, but when we have divine confidence, we are not fooling anybody. We know that our Source is the Supreme, who has everything: infinite Peace, Light and Bliss. That is why we are confident. When we become one with Him, we know He will supply us with all His wealth in infinite measure. When we pray and meditate, we have that feeling. That is called real confidence, divine confidence.