Question: How do you overcome the feeling of impatience when dealing with people?

Sri Chinmoy: First of all you have to know that you have accepted the spiritual life wholeheartedly. You expect your perfection from it. Now since you are trying to perfect yourself, write down in secrecy, utmost secrecy, how many things you have to perfect in your life. Or at least write down one thing. Then think of that imperfection. You are twenty-four years old. Let us say that up to the age of thirteen that imperfection did not show itself. But from thirteen to twenty-four you have seen the same imperfection dragging on. Now you have accepted the spiritual path most sincerely and you are trying to conquer that imperfection. If it takes forty years to conquer that imperfection of yours, then why should you be impatient if someone else has some imperfection?

We have hundreds of imperfections. You see that you have had one such imperfection for eleven years. You have to conquer it and you will, perhaps tomorrow; but there is no assurance. It may happen tomorrow or it may take another thirteen years. Suppose you are irritated or impatient with your husband who also has imperfections. For you to conquer your imperfections you have to feel that you are sincere and that others are not as sincere as you. You have to convince your mind in that way. But you see that in spite of being extremely sincere you are still trying to conquer your imperfection after thirteen years. How long have you been acting the same way? You are still the same body, the same vital and the same mind. What encourages you to go on? It is your patience. You are working for the day when your nature will be transformed, but in spite of all your good intentions, you find it very hard to change.

Whenever you can’t solve a problem with regard to other people, try to see a similar problem in your own life. Then when you gain compassion or wisdom, immediately impatience is gone for good in your life. Just conquer your own imperfections and you will see that the imperfections of your dearest ones are also conquered. After conquering your impatience you will have the strength of a lion and you will immediately go to your dearest one to conquer his imperfection.

First let us perfect ourselves. But let us not stop until we see that the whole world is perfect. Just because we are imperfect we see others as imperfect. In God’s Eye we are all perfect. But again, He feels there is no end to our perfection. In perfection there is no limit to anything. We should be transcending, always self-transcending. Then if we have to ask God what kind of people we are, immediately He will say we are all His most perfect children.