Visiting the Ashram

The first time I went back to the Ashram and visited Nolini’s place, it was beautifully, beautifully decorated. There were so many flowers. I had my camera, but it was written: “Photography forbidden.” With folded hands I was meditating. The man who was in charge of the room said, “Why are you not taking pictures?” I said, “It is forbidden.” He just grabbed my camera and took my picture.

Then to Amrita’s place I went. Everyone stood up and started clapping, showing me such affection. They were so fond of me.

The very last time I went to Nolini’s place, alas, alas, in his bedroom there was a television and a computer and all kinds of modern things. That was where I used to offer my worshipful service to Nolini.

I went to Amrita’s room. I used to work in his bedroom. I would write the Mother’s name. The name “The Mother” the bank would not accept, so under her signature I wrote, “Madame M. Alfassa, Madame M. Alfassa, Madame M. Alfassa.” The bank accepted it. Nowadays if you write “The Mother” on a cheque, the commercial bank and the state bank gladly accept it. But at that time I had to write “Madame M. Alfassa.” Then they would accept the cheques. Her signature alone they would not accept.

Coming back to the point, I went to see Amrita’s bedroom and I cried. It was full of big boxes. Some were opened and some were not opened. Nolini’s room was modern and in Amrita’s room there were all kinds of big boxes. I cried and I cried. Not only I, but all the ashramites, two thousand people, used to admire and adore Nolini and Amrita. Such a close connection they had with Sri Aurobindo. They were so close to Sri Aurobindo, both Nolini and Amrita.

The man who is now in charge of Amrita’s room has moved to a new place, a small place. We were very close friends. His name is Kalipada. He was Amrita’s assistant and I was Nolini’s assistant. There were four or five workers when I went to Amrita’s room. I looked at one of them and said, “Please tell me, where is Kalipada?” He looked at me and said, “Chinmoy, you cannot recognise me?” Then he made me see who he was. With such affection he spoke to me. Before, I could not recognise him. This was Amrita’s assistant.

Everything is completely changed.

With my brother I went to the playground, where I had been a champion runner. The man in charge would not allow me to take a picture of the playground. My brother was shocked. I lived for two years by the side of the playground, fifty metres away. The man said that I had not taken permission from Pranab, who is the director of physical education. Pranab is so close to me! This man said that I had to get written permission from Pranab to take pictures of the playground, where I used to run. Then I went to Pranab’s assistant, who is very close to me. He will now become the director of sports. His name is Gangadhar. He wrote, “Chinmoy can take pictures any time,” and Pranab signed it.

Again, there was kindness. I went to stand in line to see Sri Aurobindo’s room. They said one could not go to Sri Aurobindo’s room without the written permission of one person, Bansidhar. I went to him for his written permission. He said, “You need written permission? Go, go! Let me see who can stop you!”

Two or three boys came up to me and said, “Chinmoy, you do not have to stand in line.” It was a big line. I went to the front and said to the man who was in charge, the head guard, “Bansidhar has not given me written permission. What am I going to do?” He just grabbed me and brought me into Sri Aurobindo’s room!

There were a few people there. With folded hands I was looking with such devotion. One of the guards inside the room opened up my palm and put some flowers in it, because I had not brought any flowers. Then again I wanted to go into my highest consciousness, but in a few seconds another guard came up. He had to put flowers in my hand because the other guard had done it!

Then another man came up to me and said, “Sit down here. Meditate as long as you want to.”

I said, "I cannot sit.”

He said, “Oh, you are a big shot! Then stand. Go and stand there and meditate as long as you want.”

One of the guards saw me meditating and others came to know that I was meditating in Sri Aurobindo’s room. Such nice treatment I got! How much affection they have for me!

There are always two sides. One person would not allow me to take still pictures in the playground. He would not allow it, because it was a rule! Again, in Sri Aurobindo’s room they showed me such affection.

Now most of my friends are gone. They have left this world.