All my worries and anxieties

Every week Chitta used to write to us from the Ashram and tell us all the news. I used to go two miles to the Post Office and get his letter. Of course, I would read the letter on the way home!

One day, while reading the letter, I saw two English words followed by the names of our family members. The first word was "permission", but I did not know the second word at all. Poor me, my English was only Chittagong primary school standard. In Bengali, we also use the word "permission", so that is how I was familiar with it.

I knew that Chitta had applied to the Divine Mother of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram for us to be accepted into the Ashram as permanent residents, but I could not tell from his letter whether his request had been accepted or denied. So for two miles I was worrying and worrying. On the one hand, I did not see the word "not", so there was hope that we had been accepted. But, on the other hand, I thought there might be another English word which meant that we had been refused.

When I arrived home, I rushed to my brother Hriday and gave him the letter. I was full of apprehension. Then I saw my brother smile. He was so happy. The second word was "granted". The Mother was allowing our whole family to come and join the Ashram.

Then, after we arrived in Pondicherry, in two weeks she made us permanent members. Usually it takes two to three years to become permanent.