Part VI

Doubt and identification

We are all wise people. Now let us properly exercise our wisdom. We have to know what we are getting from doubt. From doubt we are getting nothing; we are only kicking ourselves. If somebody has done something great, then with our doubt we try to destroy him. Just because we are wanting in oneness, we doubt him. In the outer world we have not reached the goal that he has reached, but in the inner world we have the capacity to identify ourselves with him. The moment we identify ourselves, we feel that it is we who have reached that goal. The same is also true in the inner world. There also we can identify with others' achievements.

If we have achieved something in the outer world, others can see what we have done, but they doubt it. Why? They doubt it because they are also lacking in oneness. In the inner world they also have the strength and capacity to identify themselves with others, but right now, outwardly they are doubting and inwardly they are doubting. Everyone is doing the same thing.

Now let us look from the point of view of God. Let us try to enter into God, who is all Love, all Joy, all Peace, all Bliss. He is all divine qualities. By doubting Him, who is the possessor of all divine qualities, do we gain anything? You will say, "Unless and until I have seen God, felt God, why should I not doubt Him? I have not seen Him, I have not felt Him, and I can say that you have not seen Him or felt Him, since you have not been able to show Him to me." But whether you doubt it or not, there are people on earth who have seen God's Light or felt God's Light because of their receptivity, and you also can do the same.

If a child who is in kindergarten doubts the student who is completing his Master's degree, then who is the loser? The one who is getting his Master's degree will still get it. He will complete his course. But the little one who is doubting will not gain anything. If we are wise enough, then we will become totally one with the person who is getting his Master's degree. We can identify with him to such an extent that we can say, "I got my Master's degree."

When one enters into the spiritual life, doubt often comes. But if that person, with his iota of aspiration, identifies with someone who is advanced in the spiritual life, then immediately, on the strength of his oneness with the aspiration of the person who is much more developed, he gets tremendous confidence in his life. He feels that he has an elder brother who can help him and inspire him. A spiritual Master is like an elder brother. He shows the way. He has crossed the ignorance-sea and reached the goal, but he comes back to save his younger brothers.

When we doubt God, we don't gain anything and God does not lose anything. But when we doubt ourselves, when we think that we do not have any divine qualities, we really lose. So I tell you, if you want to doubt, then doubt God; do not doubt yourself. If you have to doubt, then doubt God. God, with His infinite Compassion, will forgive you. But when you start doubting yourself, you become the real loser. All your good qualities you can lose just by doubting yourself. I can doubt God at every second, and He will not lose an iota of His Divinity. But the moment I start doubting myself, if I have even a little love or a little joy, I lose all my capacities and all my possibilities.

So first of all, it is best not to doubt anybody, including God and yourself. But if you are helpless and you have to make a choice, then it is better to doubt God. He will show you Compassion, whereas you will not be able to forgive yourself. If you doubt yourself today, tomorrow you will curse yourself and say, "Why did I doubt?" But poor God will not be angry with you; He will not curse you. Forgiveness is granted by God. So it is always better to doubt God than to doubt oneself.

To the spiritual seekers who have Masters, I say that if they doubt themselves, then they are deliberately insulting the capacity of their Master. They have accepted the spiritual path. Now, why have they accepted their Master? Because they have felt that the Master has the capacity to take care of their spiritual life. In the depth of their hearts they know the capacity of their Master. But if they start doubting themselves after having accepted a real spiritual Master, that means that they are doubting the acceptance or the confidence or the promise that the Master has given them.

When a spiritual Master accepts someone as his disciple, what does it mean? It means that one day, at God's choice Hour, he will take the disciple to God. If you do not have faith in the Master, then who asked you to accept that Master as your own? Just because you felt something and saw something in the Master, you had confidence in him. That is why you accepted him. Once you have accepted him sincerely, the question of self-doubt does not arise, because you are not responsible for your life. You are responsible only to surrender your life. If doubt comes, then surrender it to the Master. If fear comes and tries to become part and parcel of you, if it makes you feel that you are really useless, then offer this fear to the Master.

In the spiritual life, I wish to say that the seekers who are following a specific path must not doubt themselves. If they doubt, that means that they are belittling their own inner potentiality and they are deliberately standing in the way of their Master's self-offering. The Master is offering himself totally and unreservedly to the disciples. But if the disciples start doubting themselves, then when the Master comes with all his love and concern, they will reject it.

They will not be able to receive anything. So I tell the seekers that they must not doubt themselves. The moment they doubt themselves, they have to feel that they are deliberately rejecting the offering of the Master.