Question: How can detachment help me become more and more perfect?Sri Chinmoy: You have to know the difference between detachment and indifference. Very often these two words go together. But if you know the proper meaning of detachment and the proper meaning of indifference, then you can easily become more and more perfect. The real meaning of detachment is not rejection. Detachment means not approaching someone on the plane in which the situation is taking place.
Let us say something is happening between you and your mother. If you approach your mother on the same plane where her consciousness is or where your consciousness is, then you cannot throw any light on the situation. But if you are really detached at that time, you will enter into the Heart of the Supreme with her standard and with your own standard and refer the matter to the Supreme. You will say, "I am judging her on the strength of my own standard, and she is judging me on the strength of her own standard. So I am offering her standard to You, O Supreme, and I am offering my standard to You. Now You offer us Light and guidance. You throw Light on me and You throw Light on my mother. Let me not directly deal with my mother, and let her not directly deal with me. Only You deal with us." When you approach the Supreme in this way, it is called detachment. At that time, automatically you are becoming perfect in your outer life and in your inner life.
But if you cherish indifference towards your mother, or your mother cherishes indifference towards you, it will be a great, deplorable mistake. When you have a feeling of indifference, if the other person does something good, immediately you become jealous. Even though you say, "Who cares whether my mother does something well or not," if she does something well, you are bound to feel jealous. And although you say you have nothing to do with her, if she fails in something, you will be extremely happy. And the same will be true of her attitude to you.
Indifference is the wrong way to approach the truth. In indifference there is always a subtle jealousy; in indifference there is a sense of separativity. But when you use detachment, it means that you are already connected with someone. So let this connection be offered to the One who has the capacity to regulate and guide you. When you approach the Supreme on your own behalf and on behalf of the person from whom you want to be detached, then only do you make your life perfect. At that time, your life becomes a song of constant perfection.