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My first friendship with the Muse
Thy love to bindMy Lord, kidnap my heart, I humbly pray.
Alas, mine is the life of a ruthless knave.
I must die; no one must mourn and toll the knell.
Without Thy Light my goal an error grave.
Eyeless desires and I together live.
The human souls frown at my moping mind.
My famished heart pines for Thy Bounty-height.
Awaken my Will, my Lord, Thy Love to bind.
I need the eyeMy heart shall be as pure as Aurora's tears.
My wild vital must change its volcano-choice.
To hound my golden thoughts my vital horse
In vain endeavours; in me His Ecstasy-Voice.
I try, I cry, I sigh, but all in vain.
O Lord of my bleeding heart, I need the Eye
That sees the lives of the Present, Future, Past.
O doubt, aside you stay from my mission's sky!
The seedI am the seed and root and boughs,
I am the aspiration-tree.
In me abides the deepest deep.
My goal I build; I am ever free.
My secret will absorbs my life,
My hidden treasure I share with earth.
Her sleepless pangs in me now breathe.
For her my freedom vast, my birth.
Quick marchQuick march, quick march within,
To change the fate of mortal life.
In you abides the Light
That pierces ignorant human strife.
A deathless birth divine
Shall bare your hidden Sun-bright heart.
Sole hope of the earth are you;
Ere long your mystic journey start!
I am Thy servantI am Thy servant-of-servants, humble, low,
Truly I care not who Thou art, O Lord!
Thy Grace I invoke, only Thy Grace sublime
In Thee alone I find my bosom's cord.
My mind craves not for fame, O Thou Unknown,
Nor for Thy boundless Power, Knowledge-Sun.
My Lord, my first and last desire serene —
Make me Thy Vision's golden deathless son.
My nature oldMy nature old in me creates
Stark doubts and ire.
It carries me into the cave
Of blazing fire.
Away my spirit flies too fast
And when to earth
Returns, alas, the earth again will
Torture my birth.
I smileI smile to make Thee smile.
I weep to make Thee weep.
All deeds of mine invoke
Thy nameless, sun-vast sweep.
My longingsMy longings make me poor and weak,
They hear not my secret Will.
Ever they hate my quest supreme,
Away they take my thrill.
A day shall come, I know it well,
When all desires of mine
Will seek Thy Grace and Thee alone.
I then in Thee shall shine.
I will be above the fruits of deeds.
Thy blue Compassion-Eye
Will guide my heart and soul, my all.
In Thee my past shall die.
My days and nightsMy days and nights are fast asleep,
Long lost am I in their bosoms wide.
The gloom and pangs of unknown caverns
Within, without my heart abide.
My life-river is hushed in awe,
And all my acts in vain now end.
No mighty Soul to soothe my heart;
My sinking breath without a friend.
A tortuous streamA tortuous stream our only fate,
A sluggish evolution's flow
We feel from morn to eve of our life.
Who says the One in us shall grow?
Covered we are with Nothingness;
The ignorance breathes deep in our heart.
No hope of dawn in our stupor-breast;
Before our heart-beat gleams death-dart.
We dwell upon the barren surface;
Alas, we never go within.
The Supreme's Bliss remains unknown;
Around us sports a dreadful din.
Thy wisdomThy Wisdom fills my heart.
Present, future, past
I am — and all I bear.
My rapture knows no bounds;
My sombre eyeless dole
Beyond the ken of all.
It is I who build my Goal.
My life's ignorance-dream
I drive toward Thy Will.
I alter now the course
Of my bosom's goalless rill.
My secret and sacred birdMy secret and sacred bird now flies
To meet the Spirit's vacancy.
All chaos of life today dissolved;
In me a surge of ecstasy.
Gold flames within my longing heart
Invoke the cosmos' Parent-Sun.
A tapestry of Truth unseen
Bursts forth within; the Play is begun.
O Mother sweetThe flowers of love and joy
In my bosom-garden bloom.
To seize Thee, O Mother Sweet,
Oft-times I face my doom.
I seek my refuge in Thee alone,
In Thee my battle of life,
In Thee my welkin, stars and sun,
My heart of joy and strife.
The sportThe sport of fruitless infelicity
Captures my mind's ignorance-dream.
Be off, be off, O satisfied desires!
It is you that ruin my quest supreme.
I am the traveller, ignorant of Dawn;
Never, alack, have I tasted Bliss.
Before my heart the dart of eyeless Night;
I am lost in the jaws of boundless Abyss.
My life-desertI want not what I need,
I roam in eyeless Night,
Ignorance sports with me,
With me I ever fight.
The riddle of my life-desert
What soul of Might can solve?
Alack, I am undone!
Before me death-doors revolve.
Long lostMy faults are countless, yet
With joy I see the faults of all.
I kindle thus my pyre,
Ever to hear death's constant call.
My soul is far, too far;
In fruitless thoughts of clay I live.
Long lost my mission vast;
In eyeless chasm I now must grieve.
If I canIf I can perfect my faith
Thy Grace is sure to come.
The more I give to Thee
The more I absorb Thy Balm
That heals my bosom's pangs.
Without Thy Love supreme,
Nothingness all I am —
A dark and barren dream.
My poor and doleful heartA loafer am I; no thoughts awake my mind.
To lance my drowsy brain, I needs must try.
Ah, sloth is my lot, and yet, my Lord Supreme,
I hope and hope in Thy Sky of Grace to fly.
I shall now kindle my poor and doleful heart
To reach in joy Thy creation's highest height.
No more my ire shall fight with Thee, no more.
My surrender's life dwells far above ego's night.
A little moreA little more we desire, a little more.
Our bosom's argent door
Is wide open, O Mother.
Come now, come!
Make us Thy victory's drum.
Thy Will our life of surrender shall declare.
Through us Thou wilt break the snare
Of eyeless, heartless, goalless earth entire,
And change its destiny dire.
My thirstMy thirst for Joy supreme
Appeased, and now remain I mute.
My Lord, my Lord Supreme,
My dreams now play with Thy Golden Flute.
I drink with Thee Thy Bliss;
Thy Will, Thy Vision-Sun are mine.
To lift the earth-bound life
Into the skies, my vow divine.
My missionTo drive me mad many a man is apt.
To spot my snow-white heart their only choice.
Futile is their outcry; and I must make
My heart sleepless to hear Thy Nectar-Voice.
My love shall be the Noon of burning delight.
I shall now hug earthly ignorance and dole
To feed the human souls with ceaseless might
And lift the earth to show her zenith-goal.
My bosom pinesI build castles in the air; the Grace divine
Never descends to cure my doleful heart.
I house wild thoughts; I feed wrong deeds undivine.
I must now shift my mind from the busy mart.
O Peace supreme, for you my bosom pines.
In you alone my will shall meet the One.
Out of harm's way my golden thoughts shall dwell.
My life is growing into my inner Sun.
My life welcomesTo be a good altruist is not my aim.
Thy high decree is my only choice august.
All things shall run to waste; but not Thy Grace.
That runs through all our limbs of eyeless dust.
Thy Grace descends; my heart is freedom's bliss,
Never to play with the black and binding clay.
No death can bind my climbing faith divine;
My life welcomes the pride of Eternal Day.
The giant gainMy heart of love sheds tears for my searching mind.
Its effort to cure the mind now ends in vain.
With flaming words my mind to awaken I try.
Alas, my failure the devil's giant gain.
They frownThey frown at me when I wander and dote.
For strength above I look, within I look.
To breathe vengeance is to kill Thy solar Law,
Therefore all evils of earth I needs must brook.
I am notNo, I am not ahead of all;
Neither behind all souls, I know.
My sense of worth tortures my mind.
With me my bleeding heart's ceaseless flow.
My solaceO Lord of my love, Your ruthless absence has now
Broken asunder my feeble heart.
My pride august is exiled in oblivion's cave.
The dance of utter ruin is my solace sure.
His Feet I kissThe King of my heart today is come,
His Feet I kiss with blissful eyes.
For Him my heart, my soul, my all,
His Feet of Light my paradise.
I shed my tears of love and joy
To see and know His secret Play.
His Love is power of boundless realms,
In Him must shine my mind of Day.
His victory through me He will announce;
Through me He will change the poverty dire
Of nether land and eyeless earth.
My zenith-goal His Love of fire.
My sacrificeI nothing want but my all to give.
My sacrifice ends not in vain.
A sweet return I know shall come
When I am above all loss and gain.
All pure souls into one must fuse.
True Love shall only then be known.
The Golden Gate that hides
The One reveals His wealth, His own.
Undying desires of man
His high and Golden Goal do vend.
Thus does he fail to dwell
In boundless Immortality, his End.
Doubt we drinkWe sport with doubt,
And thus our strength we kill.
Ah, doubt the poison
We drink in utter thrill.
Our ego shows
Our heart the path of lies,
And leads us all
Where eyeless darkness flies.
The life immortalThe life immortal must
Be this life of ours.
Limitless progress, Joy
Must feed our hours.
The selfless Will that knows
No feeble fears
Is our only guide and Eye
To end our tears.
Desires of mineDesires of mine
Limit my possibility.
They allow me not
To hasten my Lord's Infinity.
The darkness blind
In secret covers my Knowledge-Sun.
Alas, in me
The game of death has now begun.
To give to TheeTo give to Thee
Many a thing have I,
But of Thee I need
Thy golden wings to fly.
The sod of my thoughts
Through my offering-light
Transforms its pangs,
Transforms its bondage-night.
Our fruitless longingsOur fruitless longings never know
What danger great they hug.
They ever are fond of barren things;
In them, alas, our graves are dug.
O acts that lead us all to Night,
Today once feel our power.
No one remains ever in hell;
In all abides God's Hour.
The bird of peaceThe bird of peace in me abides;
The distant Sun
Embraces its wings with matchless bliss.
My play is begun.
The Unborn is born within my heart.
The pangs of earth
Now reach my life's delight extreme,
My Golden birth.
My mind is the guideMy mind is the Guide,
Hence down I fall.
Desires and thoughts
Make me a ball.
With me they play
From morn to eve.
In me; I heave
A sigh in vain.
This truth I know:
If I on Thee
Depend, Thou wilt sow
The seed of Fire
In my blind misery.
Lord, with all
My faults, seize me.
MahakaliO Mother, come, do come.
My sleepless loving heart shall bow.
Thy Feet that shake the world
Shall be my only choice from now.
My slumber pines to-day
To hear Thy stern and unique voice.
Do conquer, Mother sweet,
My haughty mind's deafening noise.
Thou art the source of all,
In Thee abides my promised Hour,
To fulfil my soul's desire
Thy Feet of love, O Mother of Power.
All-presence am IAlthough I dwell in poverty,
Matchless all joy of mine remains.
Upon my heart His Bounty rains
From His flame-white Eternity.
To none I show my teeming thoughts,
My trance is seen by me alone.
My heart shall never tremble or moan;
All-presence am I, in me no noughts.
JourneyOnward, upward my heart proceeds.
I, the finite, perceive the One.
His soulful boundless Heart of Love
Awakes my bosom's inner Sun.
Impossible deeds of yore to-day
Have reached their lofty wonder-goals.
My heart is changed, my world is changed,
I love all souls and own all souls.
I inspire the world to forget its woe,
I long for its inner cry to increase,
The far no more remains afar;
Now fast approaches my mind's release.
To blot out the pastTo blot out the past from my bosom's tablet firm
Ever I try in vain.
The past a burden to all my longings pure,
Silent is my Knowledge-main.
Its golden waves that bear the thrill unknown
I never see and feel.
I fight and fight with Dragon Night,
Long lost my Spirit's thrill.
No endNo end to my fruitless dreams;
I build in me my heaven sweet.
O binding and blinding life,
Never for you my Beloved's Feet.
I see Thy golden wingsI see Thy golden wings
That shelter all our souls.
I see Thy Luster-Heart
That feeds our earthly roles.
O Sun unplumbedO Sun unplumbed!
O Father, Comrade sweet!
Thy sweetness vast now tortures me, my heart.
My heart's glowing gates no more invite
The teeming doubts and brooding fears of earth.
The truth of Joy within, without me flies.
The Voice that speaks within the core of the Sun
Shall love and fulfil my secret and sacred choice.
In Matter's body dawns the Spirit's Height.
I smile for TheeI smile for Thee, but where art Thou?
I weep for Thee, but where art Thou?
All contraries of my sorry life
To Thee I offer; to Thee I bow.
Wilt Thou remain beyond my reach?
Even beyond the reach of my love?
No, never art Thou very far.
I am Thy Heart, I am Thy Dove.
Of what is made Thy heart?When stars and moon are mute in trance
My bosom pines for Thee.
My love for Thee smashes my pride
Of dumb eternity.
I hear at times Thy golden flute,
But beyond my reach Thou art.
My sacrifice in vain will end.
Of what is made Thy Heart?
Our thoughtsNothing is sweet, but bitter all.
Of woe the world is made.
Our thoughts, a bed of naked thorns;
In us a sombre shade.
My vital and my mindInside a field of thorns am I.
To quit its grasp in vain I try.
My vital wild and my drowsy mind
Are daily fed by Ignorance blind.
My inner raceO Lord, Thy Smile serene
Remains to me unseen.
Yet every hope of mine
Calls Thee, Solace divine.
My sorrow none to share,
No soul for me to care.
I have lost my inner race.
Nowhere shall I see Thy Face.
How long am I to wait?How long am I to wait, how long,
To see the golden Child
Who sports ever in my sky-breast
To fulfil my longings mild?
The fight of life is dire I know.
Yet His victory's dawn is sure.
He thinks little of danger, death;
His smile my only cure.
To-day my human mindTo-day my human mind is fearless, calm.
To-day my heartbeats sing His Song divine.
In me I find the nectar of lucid dreams.
I shine in all; all souls in me now shine.
We all are truly greater than acts of ours.
We are the fond and deathless Will of the One.
All spotless thoughts abide within our minds;
All trifling deeds with ease of heart we shun.