Advice from a fellow shopper¹

This afternoon I went to Woolworth’s and bought a book that had answers to all kinds of questions. While I was in the store, a man came up to me and said, “Are you Sri Chinmoy?”

I said, “Yes,” and I smiled at him.

He said, “I wish to give you a piece of advice: you run too much! I always see you running on 150th Street, on the Grand Central Service Road and at other places. At our age we should walk.

“I saw you the other day while I was walking. I tried to catch up with you to tell you not to run, but you ran ahead. I know you are not going to accept my advice. So keep up what you are doing.”

What could I do? I thanked him profusely.

The jackfruit²

In Australia, Kishore and Prashanta were running here and there looking for my favourite fruit — jackfruit. Finally Prashanta came and told me that they had found some. So I said, “Let me go and see.”

When I saw the jackfruit, I wanted to buy some, but the store manager didn’t want to sell any. Instead, he gave us three times as much as we wanted — free!

While we were eating the fruit, the manager came with three pieces of another kind of fruit, which he said was even more delicious than jackfruit. That also the manager wanted to give us free.

Then Kishore told him who I was, but the man said he already knew.

Meeting a friend³

After I finished shopping on Jamaica Avenue, one of the boys was supposed to come and collect me. I waited and waited for the car, but it did not come. Finally, I started walking home, carrying a huge bag.

The manager of Marine Midland Bank noticed me walking by and knocked on the window, waving for me to come in. So I went into the bank and we talked. He told me his daughter is studying yoga in Sarama’s class.

What do you want?⁴

The other day I was in the White Plains Galleria with Victor. A man came up to me and said he had seen my picture in a Greenwich restaurant.

I told him, “The restaurant owner is my student.”

Then the man said, “I understand you do many things for peace. What do you actually want for the world?”

I said, “I do not want or expect anything from the world. Only I want to become a better person.”

Then I smiled and he also smiled. He looked like Nayak.

A German consciousness⁵

I went into a store in Spain. A boy said, “Are you an Indian?”

I told him, “Yes!” Then I used my intuitive capacities and said, “And you have a German consciousness.

He said, “I was born in Cologne.”

Then I asked him to write down Cologne the way they write it in German. He said his parents are from Spain, but his father worked in Germany for a few years and that is where he was born. He knew a little bit of German, and he started saying things in German.

I went out to search for some of our German boys who could talk to him, but by the time I found them, this little fellow had disappeared.

Mistaken identity⁶

We went into a music shop in Essouira, Morocco. The man thought that I came from Morocco. Savyasachi said, “He is from India.”

The man said, “No, he is Moroccan.” Then he asked me, “Are you Muslim?”

I said, “No, I am Hindu.”

He said, “Oh no, you are Muslim. I can see you are an Arab.”

Then he asked me how old I was, and I told him. He told me that his father was 105 years old and showed us his picture. The father had been married five times and had 21 children.

Based on what he told us, the man in the store would be over 40 years old. So jokingly I asked him, “Are you 29 years old?”

He said, “Twenty-nine!” Then he took off his hat and showed me his bald head. He was so nice to us. He was showing us all his instruments. He explained how one skin instrument immediately changes for the better when exposed to fire. Then he set fire to a piece of wood and put it over the skin frame, and it sounded so much better.

The football player⁷

When I was shopping in the Souk, the marketplace in Marrakesh, I was wearing a shirt of the national football team. Two times children placed footballs right in front of my feet, but I didn’t have the heart to kick them. They thought I was a great football player.

Pulak's gift⁸

Today on a street in Marrakesh, a lady was trying to sell Pulak a necklace. He said he didn’t need it.

She said, “You need it. Please buy it as a gift.”

So he paid her two dirham and took the necklace. Then he said, “This is now mine. So I want to give it to you.” Then he gave her back the necklace.

This is how he got rid of the lady who was bothering him.

The Indian rogues⁹

This morning I went to buy jalabee for Ranjana’s birthday. At the counter they had broken pieces, while in one corner they had good ones. I said, “I would like to buy five pounds of the whole ones.”

Whatever the price was, I gave it to the man. Then he wanted to give me the broken ones.

I said, “But I want the whole ones.”

He said, “Oh, the taste is the same.”

I said, “But my eyes won’t appreciate them.”

Then he looked at me and asked, “Are these for you or for somebody else?”

I said, “They are for somebody else.”

He said, “Why didn’t you tell me? All right, I will bring the other kind.”

Bargaining for an exerciser¹⁰

You know I like bargaining. While I was in Florida, we were buying an exerciser that cost around $139, but the man came down to $109.

I said, “Since you are so kind, can you not come down to $100?”

Then he said, “I am better than you — $99.”

What an experience!

Then his wife said, “Please take your picture now, and when you lose weight with the help of our exerciser, send us another picture. Then we will keep both pictures here in our store so that people can see how much weight they can lose.”

I was so amused, but I didn’t have a camera with me.

Exploding into light¹¹

While I was in a music store, a young man came up to me and said, “Sri Chinmoy a few years ago I went to one of your concerts and you played one Indian instrument very intensely. Afterwards, you chanted ‘Aum’ five times. When you chanted ‘Aum’ the fifth time, you exploded into white light. Later I told my experience to Fred Lebow, but he didn’t believe me.”

The young man asked me about the United Nations. He was speaking with such respect.

Then he admitted to me that he cannot tune any of his instruments. He said his workers tune them.

I said to him, “I can’t tune my instruments either.”

Pretending to cook¹²

In Australia, Alo, Kishore and I went to an Indian restaurant. From the window we could see that all the food was already cooked.

When we went inside, they drew a screen around the kitchen so they could tell us that everything was being cooked fresh. They were delaying like anything — just pretending they were making it fresh.

After ten minutes I told them that we had already seen the food cooked and to please give it to us. They didn’t deny it; they just laughed and gave us the food. Otherwise, they would have kept us waiting an hour, pretending that they were cooking it.

Projjwal's violin¹³

In Germany, Projjwal and I went into a music store looking for a violin. They had one for $300, but it was very bad. I said, “Since the expensive one is so bad, show us one that is quite cheap.”

The lady brought us one that cost $65. I liked it so much. I asked, “Can you give us an expensive bow?”

She said, “You don’t get a bow.” Then she gave me a rotten bow.

At first she couldn’t find the case. Buy a violin, but there is no case! Finally she found one.

She knew English well, but all the time she was talking in German. Just as we were ready to go, she started speaking English. For four or five minutes she had to speak to us in English!

So this is how we got the violin that Projjwal bought me on his birthday.

Money does not talk¹⁴

The next day we went to another music store and saw four or five most expensive violins. One that I was playing cost $1,200, but I was sorry I heard it.

I said, “This is as bad as my eighth-class disciples.” The one Projjwal got me on his birthday was much better.

So money does not talk here!

Not for you, Swamiji!¹⁵

I went into a video store and said, “I would like to buy a nice, spiritual Hindi movie.”

The shopkeeper said, “For you, it will be free.”

I said, “I don’t take anything free.”

He said, “We sell it for $12. For you, $10.”

I said, “Fine.”

There was one movie named “Trishul.” I said, “I have a student named Trishul, so I will take this one.”

The man said, “Oh no, Swamiji. That is not for you!”

See how nice the shopkeeper was. He knew that it was a romantic movie. He was sincere.

Taking out the ghost¹⁶

The last time I was in Germany, I went to a store to buy a French flute.

A man was playing a saxophone very loudly in the store. He was taking everybody’s ghost out of the body!

Converting Canadian money¹⁷

I went down to the lobby of our hotel in Quebec City to do some shopping. I bought lots of things, and it came to $115. I asked the lady, “Do you accept American money?”

She said, “Oh, sure.”

I asked her to convert the total cost from Canadian dollars into American dollars.

She said, “It is $165.”

I said, “How can it be?”

She said, “This is what the register says.”

I was laughing, and she was getting mad at me. She asked me to wait for her supervisor.

I said, “I am ready to wait for your supervisor.”

When he came, the supervisor apologised to me. He said, “She has just joined us. She doesn’t know the difference between Canadian and American money.”

Then, when the supervisor converted the cost, it became $85.

The taster¹⁸

I went to a restaurant in Hawaii that lets you take whatever you want for a fixed price of $4.75. They had twenty items to choose from.

When I got to the cash register, the lady placed her hand on my shoulder and asked, “Are you going to pile your plate still higher?”

The plate was so small! Out of twenty items, I won’t take a little of each?

Saraswati was behind me, but she didn’t have the heart to insult the lady.

I am ready to pay!¹⁹

At a bookstore in Hawaii, I wanted to buy so many books, including one of my own. The owner touched the register and said, “You please tell me what I should do. If I take money from you for your own book, I will be able to buy two more of your books. But if you don’t pay me, I will not be able to buy those books.”

I said, “Yes, I am ready to pay!”

Then he told me that I have a very big heart.

I bought $70 or $80 worth of books, and he had to tell me that only if I paid for my book would he be able to buy two more of my books!

Ten dollars for advice²⁰

In Hawaii I went to buy a dumbbell. The owner gave me advice for an hour and a half, so I gave him $10.

He asked me, “Why are you giving me this?”

I said, “You gave me advice for so long.”

Then Savyasachi told him, “It is an Indian custom. The first customer gives money to the shopkeeper.”

Afterwards, I told Savyasachi that it is just the opposite: It is the shopkeeper who gives a good price to the first customer of the day for good luck. In India you can go into a store at three or four o’clock in the afternoon, and they still say you are the first customer.

The broken clock²¹

About a month ago I was in a store on 148th Street. The Spanish-speaking owner of the shop was trying to sell me a clock, but the clock was not working. He was telling me, “It will work at home.”

I said, “Here it does not work, but it will work at home?”

He said, “Here I have not tried to fix it. But you have many people who can fix it for you. Then it will work.”

I said, “No, I won’t buy it if it is not working.”

He said, “Then don’t come into my shop anymore!”

I said, “Fine, I will not come into your shop.”

Four or five days ago I happened to pass him on the street. He invited me to come into his shop, but I said no.

A toy for your children²²

It was raining heavily and I entered a little Chinese store where they sell all kinds of things. The owners were an old man and woman from Shanghai, who spoke broken English.

I was browsing and buying presents for some people. Then I stood on line to pay. Ahead of me were a few people.

A tall, young black man was standing by the register; his charge came to around $17. He handed the lady a bill and said very abruptly, “Keep the change.” Then he quickly left the store.

The lady looked at the bill and saw that it was only a ten-dollar bill, not a twenty-dollar bill, so she came from behind the counter and ran after him, shouting and screaming in Chinese. Her husband also ran after him. But the man had his car right outside, and he just jumped in and drove away.

Everybody felt very sad. When I came up to the cash register, my charge came to $93. I wanted to give the old woman $7 extra to make up for what the black man had done, but she did not want to take it.

I said, “But you are not charging me tax.”

She said, “Oh no, I can’t.”

I insisted and finally she took it. Then she pushed a little toy car across the counter and said, “This is for your children.”

So I was nice to her, and she was nice to me.

Jumping up like a young man²³

In Florida, I was buying a Chinese flute. The man asked for $80. When I looked at him, I felt that he would not live much longer — not even one month. So I gave him $100. Then he jumped up like a young man!

Sudden inspiration²⁴

Yesterday afternoon I was in a sports store in Japan, trying out weights and bowing down to the people in the store. Suddenly I got inspiration to write a new song about Japan.

Agraha and Kirit were the witnesses; those two gave me inspiration.

Faster than the fastest²⁵

Sudarshana was born in Kamakura. The first time I came to Japan, when she was a little girl, I took her to a shopping area. How fast she walked! She was a little girl, but she did everything faster than the fastest.

The cute monkey toy²⁶

At a store in Beppu, I saw a cute monkey toy which had a very good consciousness. I wanted to buy it, but there was nobody in the store. At least ten minutes I waited, but nobody came. The shop was wide open. Finally, I left without being able to get the toy.

The smiling girls²⁷

While shopping today in Oita, which is about an hour away from Beppu, I saw three young girls selling sticky candy. God knows what those girls saw in me, but they started smiling and smiling at me. They would put two or three candies inside the package, and then they would look at me and smile.

They didn’t know English and I didn’t know Japanese, but they were saying so many things to me!

Department store music²⁸

In a department store in Fukuyama, they were playing music on the ground floor. I did not like the music they were playing, so I said, “Let me go to another floor.”

I kept going from floor to floor thinking that that particular floor wouldn’t have music. But there was music on each floor. I am such a fool!

The nice shopkeeper²⁹

In one store in Beppu, the man was so nice that I bought something even though I didn’t want it. In American stores, sometimes the people are so rude that even if you want something, you don’t buy it!

I went to that store three or four times to buy different things because the man was so nice.

The laughing shopkeeper³⁰

In an instrument store in Kyoto, I was looking at an expensive trumpet. The shopkeeper was laughing at me because I couldn’t play it. Usually the Japanese don’t laugh like that!

Then I went away and came back again. As soon as he saw me, the man started laughing again. I said, “I am going to get the sound.” Finally I made some sound and he was so happy. Then I bought it.

The Bengali film³¹

I went into a video store in Queens. The owner was a Gujarati who had lived in Calcutta for many years. So we talked in Bengali about many, many things. Then I asked him if he had any Bengali films. He said, “Many, many!”

I said, “Please give me a spiritual one.”

He gave me one about Lord Shiva’s sacred place in the Himalayas. I believed him when he said it was in perfect Bengali, so I bought it.

When I watched the film, it was not in Bengali at all. It was in Hindi — and with a silly actor whom I do not like.

Vinaya went and got another one, but it was very undivine. And this was from the same man that I was talking to about spiritual things!

Kakali's change³²

While driving from Dhaka to Chittagong, we stopped in the town where Chittagong’s greatest poet was born. We went to a restaurant named Kakali, which means “the chirping of the birds.”

The price of the meal came to 55 rupees. I didn’t have a five-rupee or a ten-rupee note; I had only 50-rupee notes.

I said, “I have only 50-rupee notes. Here are two 50-rupee notes.”

The man saw that I gave him 100 rupees. Then he went to the cashier, only five metres away, and brought me back a five-rupee note as change.

I was so surprised and shocked. I said, “I gave you 100 rupees. You should give me 45 rupees change.”

He said, “No, you gave me sixty rupees, one fifty and one ten.”

Then I told him in pure Bengali that I had given him 100.

The half-priced lassi³³

In Calcutta I went to a restaurant and asked for a lassi. On the bill the waiter gave me, it said “5 Rs.”

So I went to the owner and said, “Five rupees for one glass?”

The owner said “Who has given you this?”

I pointed to the waiter. The man said, “Oh, he cannot have been mistaken. He has been working here for 50 years.”

In Bengali the words for 50 and 15 are very different, so definitely the man said 50 years.

Then I looked at the waiter and said, “Tell me how old you are.”

The waiter said, “I am 21.”

I said, “You are 21, but you have been working here for 50 years! You deserve five rupees.”

As I was coming out of the restaurant, the owner called me and said, “Since I was mistaken, you have to give me only half the price.” Then he gave me three rupees back.

The two owners³⁴

At one place I wanted to buy three saris. They had their price and I had my own figure. They were asking for 300 rupees and I said, “130!”

They said that in their lifetime they had never sold any sari for 130 rupees.

I said, “Then do it this time. You will remember it.”

We were talking in Bengali. Then the old man I was talking to came down to 240. Inwardly I was hesitating a little, but outwardly, in my eyes, he could not see my hesitation. I said, “No, I don’t want it!”

Finally, he said, “All right.” Then one of his workers got mad at him for coming down so drastically. The other man said, “He is not the owner. I am the owner.”

Then the old man said, “No, I am the owner!”

At the time, I was thinking that maybe I would go up to 140 or 170. But when the giggling started, I decided I was not going to go up in price because their egos were fighting.

Finally I went to another store and began browsing. The old man from the first store came up to me and said, “I am the owner.”

I said, “What difference does it make if you can’t sell the saris at the price we agreed on?”

He said, “No, I will be able to sell them to you at that price.”

We went back to his store. I thought that the other man would be furious, but he said, “This fellow is telling me that he has agreed to sell you these saris for 130 rupees. So what can I do?”

So I got the saris for 130 rupees.

Sympathy defeats temptation³⁵

In Calcutta a young man about 20 years old was selling handkerchiefs on the street right behind our hotel. He said, “If you buy a dozen, I will give you one free.”

I asked him, “If I buy five dozen, will you give me five free?”

He said, “Of course.” He was insulting me in Bengali as if I didn’t know Bengali.

He counted out twelve and then started counting out the second dozen. I said, “I won’t get one free?”

He said, “No, let me first count out five dozen.”

After he had counted out the second dozen, he felt sorry for me and he added one extra to the pile.

I said, “Now you are supposed to give me two.”

Again he said, “No, I will give them to you later.”

After he had counted out five dozen, I said, “Now you have to give me four more.”

He said, “No, I was just tempting you! I will give you only one extra.”

I said, “Then I don’t want any.”

He said, “No, you should feel sympathy for me because it took such a long time to count out five dozen.”

So sympathy won over temptation, and I got only one extra.

The short two metres³⁶

This is a story about Calcutta deception. I went to a store to buy cloth to be made into trousers. I selected four or five materials and said, “Please give me two metres of each one.”

Then I went browsing in the store. When I was ready to pay, I asked again if they had cut off two metres and they said that they had.

The following day when I took the material to a tailor in Pondicherry, he said, “How can I make trousers for you? This material is not even one metre 75 centimetres.”

The friendly discount³⁷

In Pondicherry I went to a sari store whose owner had been my classmate in the Ashram. We had studied together for five or six months.

He immediately recognised me when I came in. Then he started insulting his workers mercilessly so that he could show me who was the boss. He was insulting them without rhyme or reason!

Suddenly he got a phone call from his house about some emergency, and he went away on his motorbike.

After I finished shopping, the bill came to 1,100 rupees. My friend’s assistant said, “Since you two are good friends, I am sure the boss will reduce the price. So do not fill in the amount on the cheque. Just take the material and tomorrow I will ask him what discount to give you.”

I said to myself, “I didn’t ask for a discount. He is such a nice fellow.”

The following day I was shopping in the same area, so I went into the store and asked the assistant if he had spoken to the boss.

He said, “My boss didn’t come back to work. But you don’t have to worry. He knows your brother Chitta so well.”

I said, “For God’s sake, take the 1,100 rupees. Then I don’t have to worry.” But he insisted that I not fill in the amount on the cheque.

Two hours later, while still shopping in the area, I saw my friend on his motorbike. I shouted to him, “For God’s sake, tell me the reduction on the things I have got from your store so that I can pay.”

He said, “I already told them this morning.”

When I got home, I said to my brother, “This fellow is such a liar. Now you have to go there.”

So my brother went to the store with 1,100 rupees. When he saw that they were going to give me a reduction of only 23 rupees, he got mad. He said, “You keep your 23 rupees. We will not take any reduction at all.”

There the story does not end. Afterwards, my brother said, “I tell you, you will definitely get the same saris much cheaper in other stores.”

So I took one of the saris I had bought and found almost the identical sari for less than half the price at another store. At my friend’s store I paid 89 rupees, and in this store it was only 43. I couldn’t believe that I had bought so many saris from my friend for twice the amount that other stores were selling them for.

The rickshaw driver³⁸

In Pondicherry, a rickshaw driver became my friend. He lived near our family’s house, and each day he would take me around for an hour or two when I went shopping. I told him, “You have Mother’s picture on your rickshaw, so you can’t deceive me.”

When I go out, usually I leave my bag with my passport and all my American money inside the house. On one particular day, a new maid was working in the house and my sister had to go somewhere. Since the lock on the safe is not satisfactory, she took out the bag and went looking for me. I said, “Since the lock is not good, let me take the bag with me while I go shopping.”

So I went shopping for saris. Then I realised that I didn’t have the bag with me. I had left it in the rickshaw!

The driver and I had agreed to meet at a fixed place. But, O God, when I came to that place, the rickshaw driver was nowhere to be found! I was looking this side and that side for him. Finally, I saw him sleeping on the front of the rickshaw, waiting in the shade about 70 or 80 metres away.

I asked him, “Where is my bag?”

He answered, “It is on the seat in the back. You didn’t take it with you.”

Since he bad been fast asleep, somebody easily could have come and taken the bag out of the rickshaw, or out of curiosity the driver could have looked in the bag. But when I looked inside the bag, everything was just as I had left it.

Rickshaw drivers get two rupees per hour, so I was supposed to give him three or four rupees. Instead I gave him a 50-rupee note. He couldn’t believe it.

Encounter with an old teacher³⁹

One day, while I was shopping in the Pondicherry market, an elderly lady placed her hand on my shoulder and said, “Hi, Chinmoy!”

O my God, I was so embarrassed. I didn’t recognise her at all.

She was so surprised that I didn’t recognise her. She said, “I am Coo-Coo’s mother.”

Coo-Coo is the nickname for Vinay Verma, the Deputy Ambassador of India to the United Nations. We were brought up together and for a year his mother had taught me English.

She said she was able to recognise me because Vinay Verma had sent her a picture taken of the two of us at our recent meeting in Queens. So she recognised me, but I could not recognise her.

Then she begged me to come to her house. I wanted to go, but as usual, five or ten people were at our house waiting for me. Always so many people come to our house when I am there. I have so many things to tell them and they have so many things to tell me — endless stories!

The undivine son⁴⁰

In Bombay I went to buy more handkerchiefs. While in the store, I told the shopkeeper about the man who tempted me with extra handkerchiefs in Calcutta.

The Bombay shopkeeper used undivine words about the fellow in that story. Then he asked me where I came from. I said, “I am from Bengal, but I live in America.”

He said, “My son lives in Manhattan.”

I said, “Tell me your son’s name. In Manhattan many people know me.”

He said, “My son is not leading a good life, so I do not want to give you his name.”

I said, “You can tell him about me.”

He said, “You seem to be a very nice man. I don’t want to tell you his name, and I don’t want to tell him your name.”

Then I bought the handkerchiefs from him. The price was cheaper than what I had paid the man in Calcutta who gave me only one extra.

Surrendering to insults⁴¹

In Bombay I was buying picture frames. For two or three frames I was bargaining and bargaining. God knows, the man insulted me with his price, and I insulted him with my price!

Finally I had to surrender to his insults because I liked the picture frames so much.

Airport deception⁴²

Always I go to the airport early to buy things or to eat. On the trip to India, I ate so much and gained four or five pounds. This time I went to a restaurant in the Bombay airport to have a little juice and some Horlicks, a hot drink.

The man told me the price — five dollars. Indian rupees they do not accept — only American dollars or British pounds. I had Indian currency, but the only American currency I thought I had was a hundred-dollar bill. So before I ate, I asked the man if he would be able to give me change.

The man said, “Yes, easily!”

When it was time to pay, I looked in my bag and found both a hundred-dollar and a twenty-dollar bill. I said, “I can give you a twenty-dollar bill.”

The man said, “No, you give me the hundred-dollar bill. I will be able to give you change.”

He took the hundred-dollar bill, and then he gave me a ten-dollar bill in return. He was looking for more money, but be had only three one-dollar bills.

I said, “Give me back my hundred-dollar bill and take my twenty-dollar bill.”

What kind of rogue God created! He said I hadn’t given him a hundred-dollar bill. He said I had only given him the twenty.

My blood boiled! I said, “I am calling the police!” and started to walk away.

Then he gave me my hundred dollars back. I had got thirteen dollars from him in change, and he was supposed to give me two more dollars, but I just called him a rogue and threw my twenty dollars at him.

Then I left the place, absolutely furious. Even now when I tell the story, I feel such disgust for rogues like this.

The problem sweater⁴³

Since there were no shops open in Berlin when I went out walking this morning, I went into the hotel shop when I came back. I bought a magazine.

Then I saw a sweater that cost 1,000 marks. I said, “Expensive!”

The saleslady said, “First of all, it is expensive. Second, it is for ladies!”

The sweater was not in the men’s section.

The garlic bread⁴⁴

Yesterday I went to a Greek deli and asked for garlic bread.

The man asked, “Where do you come from?”

I said, “From India.”

He said, “That’s why you speak like that.”

Then I asked him, “Where do you come from?”

He said, “From Greece.”

So I said, “We are brothers, we are brothers!”

He was finding fault with my pronunciation of ‘garlic.’ But he himself was speaking broken English.

When I first came to America, I used to feel a little sad when people could not understand me. But now I don’t have to repeat words like ‘magnificent’ and ‘table’ because people understand me. Americans may criticise me, but the British — even children — don’t have any problem understanding me.

In Scotland I find it very difficult to understand the people. Three or four times I have to ask them what they are saying. It is too much, too much!