Return to the table of contents
Rani-di, I do know where you live
11.For me to come to America,
First you became your soul's
Then you became your heart's
You do not want my heart to look back
At your compassion-affection-flooded
But I shall fail, always fail to obey you!
13.When I say to you
How I wish I too could be on my way,
You become your thunder-objection:
You are telling me that my life
Must not look at your heart:
I must look forward
And look at your soul.
A sacrifice-life —
27.Before, on earth,
You advised me.
And now, from Heaven,
You are pushing and pulling me forward
You are telling me that
My disciple-children have too many gods.
Therefore, they are going nowhere.
34.You are telling me that
The choice is mine:
Either love the world
Or serve the world
Or even try to do both.
35.You are telling me that
The choice is mine:
Either for me to beckon the world
Or to awaken the world
From where I am now.
36.You are telling me that
The choice is mine:
Either I must try to feel oneness with
Or I must stop criticising
And chastising the world.
Your true disciple-children
Are those who look at you
With their hearts' streaming tears
And their eyes' beaming smiles.
Your false disciple-children
Are those who look around you
With their notorious jealousy,
And voracious curiosity.
42.Madal, yes, I do.
I shall come to see you
Whenever I am supposed to.
You can come to me
Whenever you miss me.
You are asking me to hope
For my disciple-children,
For hope is nothing short
Of a sweet dream.
44.You are asking me
Not to expect anything spectacular
From my disciples' spiritual life,
For expectation quite often ends
And frustration quite often ends
In immediate destruction.
You will be able to make
Only those disciples extraordinary
Who sincerely feel
That they are absolutely ordinary.
You know perfectly well
That I am quite accustomed to boasting,
Specially in front of you.
Your disappearance from the world-scene
Has destroyed my literary ability.
In spite of having written 1,300 books in English,
My pen, today, is so inadequate:
It will never be able to do justice
To my heart's feelings about you.
47.For Mantu and me,
Nothing can be as false as your departure:
You are alive,
And you will always remain alive,
With your affection boundless
For your Mantu and your Madal.
As you are your eternal affection,
Even so, we are our eternal gratitude.
Did not prepare us.
He abruptly departed — eleven brief hours!
Therefore, I was overwhelmed with grief.
Furious I became with his fate,
Even with his fate-Maker —
You prepared us for three years —
A long period.
Therefore, although your physical absence
It is understandable.
49.There shall come a time
When Mantu and I shall follow you.
We do know where you have gone.
We do know we shall find you.
It is just a matter of time.
Time is keeping us separate,
That is all.
50.Chitta-da has gone.
You, too, have gone.
For Mantu and me,
The outer world will never be the same.
In the inner world,
Our entire family-bond
Shall remain unbreakable
There was a time
When my arrival in America
Brought the saddest misfortune
For our entire family.
Everybody in the family suffered,
And you suffered the utmost.
Wild and unspeakable,
Shattered your earthly frame.
Later, good fortune—worldwide recognition
Of your youngest brother —
Proved your Rani-di (Queen) name to be true.
Fathomless became your pride in me.
52.You came to America to visit me.
To my greatest sadness,
American lifestyle you could not appreciate.
To my greatest joy,
You dearly liked the lifestyle of
And you sincerely loved
My hundreds of American children.
Needless to say,
Your earth-departure has given them
A most devastating blow,
Specially those who basked in the sunshine
Of your compassion, affection and love.
On my way to Pondicherry
To visit my Tunda, your Mantu,
You are visiting me
On Air India flight 102.
You are your soul's sweetness-smile:
'Madal, when the heart is duty,
The life becomes beauty,