Death, do you have telephones in your country?

Death, here on earth we have telephones.
Do you have telephones in your country?
"Yes, we do."

I am so delighted to hear that.
Now, do you make long-distance calls
As we do from America to Russia?
"Yes, we do.
At every moment
My assistants make thousands
Of long-distance calls
On my behalf."

Thousands of calls?
Good gracious!
To whom do they make so many
Long-distance calls?
"They speak to Heaven and hell on the phone.
At every moment,
Thousands of human souls
We have to dispatch
Either to Heaven or to hell.
We inform Heaven and hell first
Before we send them new members.
We throw those members down,
Who are meant for hell,
And we push those members up,
Who are meant for Heaven."