The shoplifter

One day I went to Sears because somebody told me that there was a section with a variety of birds. But there were no birds there; they had only bird food. It was quite cold, so I bought a long-sleeved T-shirt for nineteen dollars. Then, since it was cold, I put the shirt on in the store, and I was wearing it.

O God, one of the guards came up to me. He suspected that I had just taken the shirt, and he was about to ask me to show him the receipt. Usually, I never keep any receipts; that is not in my line. Luckily, this time I had put the receipt in my pocket, so I showed it to him. After I showed it to him, he said, "Oh no, I was not suspecting you." But he did take the receipt from me and look at it.