Satisfaction1Both God and I are true dreamers. We have been dreaming from time immemorial. In my dream I feel God's infinite Light and swim in His Sea of infinite Delight. But alas, harsh reality is totally otherwise. I get a most deplorable shock from the reality-world. Similarly, in His Dream my Lord Supreme sees me as a most perfect instrument of His. But alas, reality is otherwise. God gets a shocking experience from the reality-world.
Both God and I are true lovers. I love God precisely because His is the only Love that is genuine, pure, blessingful, illumining and fruitful. He loves me because I have a sleeplessly aspiring cry. Because my heart has grown into a sleeplessly aspiring cry, my Lord Supreme loves me.
Both God and I are true beggars. I beg Him for infinite Light and Delight. He begs me for an iota of cheerfulness in my outer life. A flame of cheerfulness He needs from me in order to grant and fulfil my desire. Someday I shall offer to my Beloved Supreme my invaluable gift: my life's total transformation. Someday my Lord Supreme will grant me His invaluable Gift: His immortal Satisfaction.
Satisfaction is absolute fulfilment. Purity is the fulfilment of my body. Humility is the fulfilment of my vital. Peace is the fulfilment of my mind. Bliss is the fulfilment of my heart. God-Vision is the fulfilment of my soul. My unconditional surrender to God is the fulfilment of my Beloved Supreme.
Two existence-realities: frustration and satisfaction. My earth-bound desire-life and frustration-night are always inseparable. My Heaven-free aspiration-life and satisfaction-day are always inseparable.
My desire-life eventually grows into a ferocious tiger that devours me entirely. My aspiration-life also grows. It grows into a glowing sun that illumines my inner life of aspiration, fulfils my outer life of dedication and fills my life with true satisfaction.
I need satisfaction in my inner life. I need satisfaction in my outer life. This satisfaction I cannot get from humanity. Again, I shall not be able to give satisfaction to humanity unless and until God grants me His Satisfaction-Delight. It is God's Presence alone, deep in the inmost recesses of my heart, that I must feel. It is only His Presence that can and will grant me Satisfaction in infinite measure.
Once somebody phoned a minister and asked, "Could you please tell me if the President will be coming to church this weekend?"
The minister replied, "I am not sure about the President, but I promise you that God will come. I am sure that will be enough incentive to attract a large congregation."
The minister was so right. Not the earthly acclaim, but the heavenly presence is what matters. In his aspiration-life each seeker must feel that it is God's Presence that is of paramount importance. When God's Presence we consciously feel in the very depths of our heart, then our heart becomes all light and delight. At that time we see that God's children are all beautiful, soulful and prayerful flowers growing in God's Heart-Garden.
We have to satisfy God by invoking Him sleeplessly and unconditionally. When God is satisfied with us, only then can we be truly satisfied. Him to please in His own Way, each individual seeker sees the light of day. In the course of time, when God is satisfied and we are satisfied, then His creation becomes absolutely ours.
Satisfaction-God once upon a time I had. But, alas, I have lost Him. Why? I have lost Him because I now love myself infinitely more than I love God. There was a time when I loved God, my Beloved Supreme, infinitely more than I loved myself. Then there came a time when I loved Him only, sleeplessly, and nobody else.
Alas, those golden days are now buried in stark oblivion. Ignorance now covers my life within and my life without. Therefore, my oneness-reality with my Beloved Supreme is now buried in oblivion and I live a life of failure-night. Even though what I am now is a failure-night, still I have a determined hope-ray. With my adamantine determination, again I shall win in the battlefield of my life. The ignorance-night that has enveloped me will be removed by my soulful, sleepless and unconditional prayer and meditation.
But first I have to please my Lord Supreme in His own Way. The secret of pleasing my Lord Supreme is to realise that His Way is not only my way, but the only way. The moment I realise that His Way is the only way, at that time I will be able to please Him sooner than at once. His Way is the way of conscious, constant, sleepless and unconditional surrender. Once again there shall come a time when I shall enjoy consciously, in the very depth of my heart, the Presence of my Lord Supreme, and I shall then grow not only into my own satisfaction-life, but also into His Satisfaction-Sun.
SSC 24. Cornell University, 26 April 1981↩