Part II — Questions and answers

Question: I would like to know how one can control self-destructive behaviour which gets in the way of meditation and a healthy life.

Sri Chinmoy: We have to be aware that if we cherish self-destructive behaviour, we are committing a Himalayan blunder. What each individual really wants and needs is satisfaction. Satisfaction we all want from life, in life, through life.

Some people want satisfaction desperately. If we desperately want satisfaction, then we will do the needful in order to get it. We will not try to destroy ourselves; we will only try to build a new life — a better, more illumining, more fulfilling life — through prayer and meditation. Others also want satisfaction, but they are not willing to pay the price for it. If we need satisfaction desperately, then we are bound to discipline our life. If we are really pinched with hunger, then we will definitely go and look for something to eat. But if we are not very hungry, then we may not want to take the trouble to go to the kitchen and eat. In the spiritual life our soul needs nourishment. Our soul’s nourishment is peace, joy, love, the feeling of oneness and satisfaction.

Right now we are living the life of desire. But even when our desires are fulfilled, we are usually not satisfied at all. We want something desperately in the desire-life, but when we get that very thing, immediately we are dissatisfied. It has happened in our lives many, many times. While we are crying for some particular thing, we never care that somebody else already has it. But when we get what we wanted, we look around and see thousands of other people also have it, and perhaps they have more of it than we do. They have the same thing in abundant measure, whereas we have only a limited amount. So we are dissatisfied. No matter how much we have of something in the desire-life, it is never enough for us.

The fulfilment of desire is not the answer. What we have to do is try to minimise our desires and totally enter into the life of aspiration. If we can minimise our desires, then along with our desires, our destructive thoughts and tendencies also will decrease. Aspiration is a flame. This flame illumines and purifies everything that is uncomely and undivine within us, so that real satisfaction can be ours.

If we aspire regularly, soulfully and sincerely, then self-destructive thoughts will not assail our mind, and self-destructive actions will not embrace our life. We have to walk along the positive path of aspiration which will carry us high, higher, highest. The higher we go, the more aspiration-flames we will see in our obscure life, and our obscure, impure, destructive thoughts and ideas will be illumined. A room can remain dark for days, months and years, but as soon as we turn on the light switch, the room is all illumined. Then it is easy for us to clean and purify the room. Similarly, if we do not aspire, if we do not pray and meditate, then our heart-room remains dark and dusty. But the moment we aspire. the moment we turn on the light with our inner cry, it becomes easy for us to transform our life completely.