Are women more insecure than men?

Spiritual Masters like Sri Ramakrishna and Lord Buddha didn’t want to accept women as disciples. They felt there was something in women which made them unsuited to the spiritual life. When women get married and have a few children, what generally happens is that they forget the highest truth, God. They even forget their husbands; their only goal is to please their children and to be pleased by the children. Their children become their gods. When children come into women’s lives, earth binds them and they, in turn, bind earth. In their children they seek security. As long as the children are happy the mother feels happy. She sees the face of her child as God, so her life-goal is in the child.

Both girls and boys are insecure. If a girl sees that her boyfriend is mixing with somebody else, immediately she becomes insecure; her whole world is smashed to pieces. Otherwise, if she were not insecure she could say, “Who cares for him? Let him go away. I don’t need him.” Similarly, if a boy sees that his girlfriend or his best friend is mixing with someone, then he feels miserable and his misery is also due to his insecurity.

The difference is that girls are a little more insecure than boys because girls want to possess all at once. If you want to possess something or someone all at once — the body, mind, heart, soul, everything — then naturally insecurity and frustration will come. If you want a bird and you try to grab the tail, feathers, eyes, nose, feet and every other part all at once, you see that it is impossible. You can only place your hand on one particular part of the bird. Now the reason that boys are not as insecure is because they will try to possess only one part at a time. They will take one part and gradually, gradually another part and another. So while girls immediately try to grab the whole and put a net around it, like trying to catch many fish at a time, boys take a fishing rod and are satisfied, with catching one fish at a time.

Both boys and girls are insecure; again both boys and girls are impure. Imperfection is imperfection. But insecurity comes because of the tremendous importance we give to possession. Insecurity goes away if possession goes away and oneness comes into our life.

Sri Chinmoy, Three strangling sisters: fear, jealousy and insecurity.First published by Agni Press in 1974.

This is the 199th book that Sri Chinmoy has written since he came to the West, in 1964.

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by Sri Chinmoy
From the book Three strangling sisters: fear, jealousy and insecurity, made available to share under a Creative Commons license

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