Question: How can we as disciples trust you more so that we can surrender our ignorance to you?1Sri Chinmoy: Right now you feel that if you increase your trust, you will be able to give me more of your ignorance. But I wish to say that trust is not in the mind. Trust is in the heart. When a mother trusts her child, even if the child is breaking everything, doing everything wrong, she will have faith in the child. She will say, "He is not doing this. Some other force is doing it. He will be all right in a few years."
The important thing is not to use the mind. You are saying that if you have more trust, then you will have more love, devotion and surrender. I am saying, go the other way. If you have more love, devotion and surrender, you will have more trust. If you are standing on the edge of a swimming pool and you see that the water is warm, then you will be inclined to jump into the water. Otherwise, you will remain standing outside. But if you love water as such, regardless of whether it is cold or hot, then you will simply jump into the water. You will say, "Who cares if it is cold or hot?"
Similarly, in the spiritual life, if one wants to make progress, if one wants to have more faith, then it is not by watching or judging the Master — if he does this, if he says that, then I will have faith in him. No. Only because of the swimmer's love for water he jumped into the pool. In exactly the same way, if you love the Master, you will not worry about what he says or what he does. You will only establish your oneness with him. When we enter into the water with oneness, we immediately start swimming there. If you love the Master, his path and his spirituality, you will not say, "If he does this, I will have more trust. If he does that, I will have less trust. I will increase and decrease according to what he says and what he does." Faith is not a matter of increasing or decreasing. That is only the judgement of our stupid mind. You must use the heart.
When we enter into a garden, we do not look to see whether or not each petal is equally formed or if one petal is crooked. We enter into the garden and immediately we embrace the beauty and fragrance of the garden. Then our mind, vital and body become pure, cheerful and joyful. But if we enter into the garden and start looking to see which flower is most beautiful, then we do not get the same joy. If one flower is more beautiful, we will spend five minutes looking at it. Then we will go to another flower and say, "O God, I was mistaken, this flower is more beautiful. Let me stand here for ten minutes." In the meantime, your time is up! You have to go home. You have more important things to do.
Once you enter into the garden, you have to immediately try to see the beauty and feel the fragrance of the garden. In the same way, once you choose a Master and a path, do not say, "If the path gives me this, then I shall trust it. If the Master says this, then I shall have more faith in him." No, immediately jump into the sea of the Master's compassion. You have to say, "If I do not feel the Master's compassion or affection or love, I will not mind. I came to give him what I have and what I am. I know he will give me everything at his choice hour."
Always you have to develop the attitude of unconditional oneness. As long as we place conditions on our love and on our faith, we will be disappointed. Our conditions are going to make our lives miserable. We start by saying, "If he gives me 50 per cent, I will give him 50 per cent." Then we say, "If he gives me 90 per cent, I will do something for him." Finally, our expectation demands, "He has to give me 99 per cent to make me happy." First it starts with 50-50. Then greed comes and we make it 60-40, or 70-30. Finally we say, "If he fulfils my desire 99 times out of 100, then he is my Master."
But why start with conditions? The other way is just to go to the root. We can say, "Even if he does not give me anything, I want to give 100 per cent to him. If he does not give me anything in return, God is there above him to break his head. But that is not my business. My business is to surrender to him. Then he has to account for his behaviour to Somebody else, to his superior." You may take it in that light, that the Supreme will be displeased with the Master if he does not do the right thing. Again, if you are a real disciple, you will say, "Who cares whether the Supreme will be displeased with him or not? Since I want to follow his path, I must follow his philosophy implicitly." In my case, my philosophy is love, devotion and surrender. If you follow the path of love, devotion and surrender, will your mind's lack of trust be able to fight against your heart's love for me and for my path?
Annam Brahma Restaurant, 7 June 1997↩