An incident-filled excursion1

As you know, I have been walking eight miles a day for the last two months. Now I am walking seven miles a day; I have decreased. Seven is my special number, so I was wondering why I had to do eight miles. Now I do seven. On rare occasions, I do six and then I compensate the next day by walking nine miles.

Anyway, at three o'clock this afternoon I started walking and I have quite a few amusing stories to tell you. I decided I would walk four miles. I went along 150th Street to the Grand Central Service Road and made a left. Then I went to Main Street. I crossed over Main Street and continued to Queens Boulevard. I had covered about one and a half miles and I was extremely, extremely thirsty.

I had brought with me a ten dollar bill and a twenty dollar bill in case of emergency, but I hate to carry water or any kind of drink. I was planning to cross Queens Boulevard and go into one of the stores. Some disciples go to Pasta Lovers and I thought I could buy a drink there, but I did not want any Italian food.

Then, right near the courthouse, I saw a vendor. I was so relieved. An old man, very thin and short, was selling drinks. On the table I saw the drinks and I was able to read "Snapple" on the label.

I asked him, "Do you have Diet Snapple?"

He said, "Yes." Then he picked up one can to give me. I asked him, "Are you sure it is Diet?"

"Are you deaf? Are you blind?" he screamed. "I told you it was Diet. Look, it is written 'Diet' and 'Snapple'."

"I am not deaf, I am not blind," I replied.

He took my ten dollar bill and turned his back to cover his money while he counted out my change. He wanted to hide the money that he had. The drink was $1.45 and he gave me all one dollar bills in change. I did not count the change. I thanked him and went away.

  1. WCB 64. 29 September 1998